Research About Fluffy Ponies

by Axel Azabash


1-Research about Fluffies behavior.

10/April: Feral herd found in the backyard:

Some time ago, scientist developed a new way of synthetic DNA writing, so, humanity would be able to create new DNA models. It was the biggest advance in biotechnology since years, and what did humans do with that glorious knowledge? Create a new generation of pets, little equinoid, based on the popular child show My Little Pony, but fluffy, ridiculously small, completely harmless to a human and completely helpless against almost any environment. They had a high mortality rate in the wild. Perfect, simply perfect for being a pet.

And that freaking genetic engineering managed to write some basic words for them to actually talk. Yes, they talk, like a two years old child, but they talk, and that's impressive for a creature. Not like a parrot, which simply repeats words, they can understand simple phrases and answer to them with something coherent, and ask for food and stuff like that. Parrots which can talk in a simple, but coherent conversation are considered genius birds! So, I don't find that balls of fluff so stupid... for a stupid ball of fluff.

Hasbro had an enormous profit selling that creatures, at least for a few months, after that, they started to reproduce like rabbits, and in one year, there was too many of them, so, some people started to abandon them and sadly, they don't usually survive too much time. Road kills, big dogs attacking them... It started to become normal to found one of them death here and there, and it's quite sad.

After some time, the wild fluffies started to make little herds in order to survive longer, working in team and sharing information about dangerous things and places to get food and things like that. They are freaking talking balls of fluff; coordination is quite easy for them. And now, here is where the story starts.

Today, in the backyard of my house, I was taking care of the plants and cleaning up a little, because it was starting to look like a jungle, and suddenly, I noticed something on my left leg. A little blue ball of fluff was stomping it's tiny marshmallow hooves to my trousers and screaming "Go awaw fwom ow tewitowy, stoopid hooman!"

I kicked it... gently enough to not hurt it, of course. Yeah, I was quite annoyed about something trying to take me out of my own backyard and calling me 'stoopid', but it was quite brave for a 30cm tall thing to face a 180 cm human all by itself.

Yes, it didn't say 'my', it was 'ow' so... I looked through my backyard more carefully and found them. There was a little herd of those fluffy ponies, all of them trying to hide in the tall grass, all of them but the blue one, which was chasing me and trying to fight me. Adorable, isn't it?

Then, I had the idea. Selling fluffies is not a good business, because those who owned fluffies, now they usually got more of them, because they reproduce quite fast, and they give them to friends and familiars, so, the money value of a fluffy pony is less than the costs of growing them, but... they have interesting points.

If I research the behavior and the psychology of those little balls of fluff, maybe I could find something that I can patent and sell to those who own them, so, I started to write this, and I have a complete family of fluffy ponies living all by themselves in my backyard, perfect for a nature documentary!

That was all for today, Dr Mike Hastell, going to bed.

11/April: Installing devices, equipment and other silly stuff:

Ok, it was in the afternoon, after working at my actual biomechanical research project at the investigation department from the university. I came out to the backyard, no signs of life from the herd. It's ok, I don't want a crazy ball of fluff kicking my legs and pretending it's protecting it's family in an heroic way, who knows, maybe I could give it an involuntary kick or maybe trip over it, and that probably would hurt it more than myself, and I want all of them alive in order to make my experiments.

Perfect, two cameras with movement sensors and some sound record devices installed in the backyard. Now, I only have to wait.

I decided to take a look at the recordings, and found something. Nothing special, just the herd going into my backyard trough a little hole on the wall, one by one, four of them, including the blue one... I think I'm going to call it Kicky.

Kicky was leading the way, they came trough de hole and, in a few seconds, they were hidden under the tall grass.

That's all. Dr Mike Hastell, going to make some dinner, and after that, going to bed.

14/April: Missing fluffies:

This few days, I have only seen the blue one trough the cameras, patrolling it's territory. No signals of the other fluffies. But today, Kicky wasn't there. Nothing interesting happened.

Dr Mike Hastell, going to bed.

16/April: Some sad conclusions:

No signals of Kicky, I started to worry about, so, I came out to investigate. No signals of the herd. I heard some noise from the tall grass, so, I took a look and found them finally. But Kicky wasn't there.

There were only four. I recognize three of them, and there was another, a green female, which was pregnant and almost it couldn't move. When a female fluffy is pregnant, it becomes a ball and it's legs can't reach the ground, so, it can't walk and needs help for almost everything.

All of them squeaked in terror, there was no escape; they were trapped against the wall. They can talk, so, I tough it was a good idea to ask them about the missing fluffy.

"Where is the blue fluffy which was with you?" I asked.
"Bwue fwuffy? Heawen Staw? A monstah huwt him and twook fowewew sleepies." Replied the pregnant green fluffy, trembling with fear.
"Pwease, duwn huwt, duwn huwt mommy." Pleaded a yellow one, hugging the pregnant female.
"Ok, ok, I won't hurt any of you, only wanted to know what happened to the missing fluffy, and I wanted to see how is everything here... Ok, I will let all of you alone, so... you can do... fluffy... things with no one around... Bye." I answered to them, and slowly went out of there.

I adjusted the camera in order to watch the place were all those fluffies were hiding and then, came back to home and close the door.

Ok, for this journal, some conclusions. The herd in my backyard is actually a family, composed of one pregnant female, three brothers and the missing blue one, Kicky, or Heaven Star... what a silly name in my opinion, which is probably dead.

A sad observation. Those things can't defend by themselves, and can't run very fast. On the other hand, their reproduction rate is awesome. They are defenseless in almost any danger, so, the best way for them in order to survive is to hide.

Kicky was the only one of them brave enough to attack something for defend his family, and that killed him. Maybe a big dog attacked them, or maybe a fox, or maybe someone got sick of a ball of fluff calling him 'stoopid hooman' and kicked him so badly...

Ok, this is quite sad. There is a family of that things out there crying for their daddy. I would give them some food and protect them from the cold of the night, but I can't save all the fluffies in the world, and I want to know where they got food and how they survive by themselves. It's Spring, it's quite warm and there is grass and food everywhere. They will be fine, isn't it?

That's all for today, Dr Mike Hastell, going to bed.

17/April: A new path to follow:

In the biology research department was Dr Jacob, one of the scientists who were working with me in the biomechanical project; he was also working for Fluff Corp, those who developed that entire fluffy thing, using the synthetic DNA writing technology.

Jacob has white hair and a white long beard, just like some kind of crazy druid, always wearing that freaking white lab outfit, he is quite old, and he is thin and tall. Yeah, the image of some weird crazy scientist, that's it.

I talked with him about my little research that I were doing in my free time and he invited me to visit one of their laboratories, were they keep one of the first attempts of making a fluffy. They keep it in order to make experiments and study what went wrong with that model and this, specifically, were mentally unstable. Maybe it would be a nice subject for my research about fluffy behavior. It's were they started to artificially build the fluffy minds; I want to know how they looked like before all those modifications.

Yeah, an interesting day, Dr Mike Hastell, going to bed.