Memories We Never Had

by HiddenBrony


What My Cutie Mark Told Me

        Applejack guffawed loudly across the table from Fluttershy, the pegasus simply beaming at all her friends as they laughed together. The soft purples of Carousel Boutique gave the four ponies a sense of safety as they sat around Rarity’s coffee table, discussing aimlessly about anything that sparked their memories. Rainbow Dash took a long draft of the cider Applejack had provided, slamming it on the table as she tried desperately not to choke on her own laughter at Fluttershy’s joke.

        “Oh man, ‘Shy, that was amazing. I didn’t know you could be so funny!” Dash finally eeked out, the cider fighting its way down to her stomach. She smacked her chest a few times to get the rest down, nearly collapsing over the table as she did.

        “Land sakes, girl, that was humor Pinkie Pie would be jealous of!” Applejack patted her friend on the back in admiration. Fluttershy tried desperately to do something with herself with all this attention on her, but all she could do was smile until it hurt and look at the three other faces around the table.

        “Speaking of Pinkie, dearie,” Rarity cut in, taking a much more delicate sip from her wine glass. Like the others, however, she too drank from the barrel that Applejack brought – she cherished the Apple Family cider like anypony else. “Will she be joining us this evening? Or does she have... other plans?”

        “Other,” Applejack said flatly. “You know she’d love to come to these little... I don’t know what to call ‘em...”

        “Gatherings?” Fluttershy offered, her head tilting.

        Dash shook her head, waving off her suggestion. “Nah, Pinkie’d call it a party.”

        “Can you have a party with four ponies, Dash?” Applejack asked, putting a hoof to her chin. “Maybe it’s a small shindig?”

        “Or maybe,” Rarity raised her wine glass, “Labels aren’t everything, if you don’t mind my saying. It’s just a friendly get together of two very different sets of friends.”

        “And the same.” Applejack added, a smile on her face. A small chorus of nods greeted her, as Applejack stared into the eyes of her friends. Each one was kind, loyal, and generous. But there was also a shadow of laughter behind the eyes of her quietest friend. A shade of true kindness under a brash exterior, and the steadfast loyalty exhilarating from across almost sacrificial generosity. “Pinkie’s just got a little... lifestyle choice she’s working through.”

        And then, a knock at the door.

        Rarity exasperated loudly as she stood up from her seat at the table. “Excuse me girls, but I must have not flipped the sign to ‘closed’ today!” she called back as she headed for the door. “Really, I can’t believe I can be so scatterbrained sometimes. I’ll just have to send them off with a quick apology. You girls know I wouldn’t give up these get-togethers even by Royal— “ Opening the door, Rarity was greeted by a large horn and a pair of matching purple wings. “—Decree.”

        “Excuse me?” Twilight Sparkle asked, raising an eyebrow. “What’s so wrong with your sessions that you’d need a royal edict to stop it?”

        “Sessions has a nice ring to it,” Applejack said from the table. Fluttershy nodded emphatically, even if Dash rolled her eyes to it. Rarity looked back at the girls with a glare before giving Twilight her biggest grin.

        “Twilight! What brings you around today? I thought you were in Canterlot on, you know,” Rarity spun her hoof around a couple times, her tongue caught at the back of her throat, ”Princess business?”

        “I was in Canterlot,” Twilight smiled, pointing her hoof towards her hometown in the mountains, “But now that I’m a Princess,” she said, stretching her wings out for effect, “It’s a lot easier to go to and from Canterlot in a day.” Looking behind her, Twilight sighed wistfully. “I wish the weather was better. I thought I was going to be rained on the entire way here.”

        Rarity nodded slowly, her eyes turned toward the sky. “It’s very impressive that you flew all the way to Canterlot and back so early in your flight training.”

        Twilight chuckled, her eyes trained on the ground. “Well, I took the train in to Canterlot and sort of... glided back.” With a strange flap of her wings, Twilight struggled to keep them in sync again while she turned the discussion back on track. “I touched down just outside of Sweet Apple Acres. I was on my way to Rainbow Dash’s to see if I could get a flying lesson in when I saw Pinkie Pie heading towards me. She told me you and the other girls were here, and I wanted to stop by.”

        Rarity smiled and nodded throughout Twilight’s explanation, her eyes flickering between the Princess at her door and the clouds which threatened rain just over head.

        “So I was wondering what you girls were up to?”

        Twilight wasn’t sure if Rarity was particularly aware that she was just nodding at silence and looking over at her other friends until she cleared her throat and Rarity kept nodding. “I said, so I was wondering if I could set fire to your dresses and see if Discord could teach Sweetie Belle how to get her cutie mark.”

        “That’s brilliant, Twilight,” Rarity finally said. Twilight snorted.

        “Rarity, you’re not even listening to me!” Putting her hoof out and pressing it against her friend’s chest. “Did I do something wrong?”

        Rarity put her hoof on Twilight’s and shook her head. “No no no! Please, I’m sorry Twilight! I’m just... distracted.” Dropping both their hooves to the floor, Rarity beckoned Twilight inside, leading her over to the table. Surprisingly, there was a fifth seat available for her to sit on already, as if they were expecting somepony. “We’ve just been having some get-togethers as of late, and we were really.... breaking ground, with this one.”

        “Breaking ground?” Twilight echoed, looking over the faces of all her friends. “With what?” Rainbow Dash shrugged her shoulders, seemingly much more content with petting Opalescence, who had cuddled up next to her. Tank must have been really good for her, Twilight reasoned.

        “Why, the Magic of Friendship, a’course!” Applejack smiled, rapping her hooves on the table. “We weren’t all as close as we are now without ya, Twilight.

        Fluttershy agreed, her gaze on Rainbow Dash. “Some of us were more than the others, but you brought us together, Twilight.”

        “Y’all always do, no matter who we are.” Applejack said. The other girls gave her a long stare, which Applejack bucked off with a shrug. “Listen girls, I figure Twilight here has a right to know what we’re doin’ here.” She kicked back with her cider mug, but sadly found the bottom of the mug to be empty and put it down on the table.

        Rainbow Dash kicked up into the air, her hooves wavering dangerously close to Applejack’s nose. Opal leaped to her paws, letting Applejack have it with a high pitched hiss. “Hey! Who said you get to make that decision for the rest of us?”

        “Ah suppose the honest part of me.”

        Twilight coughed. “Uh, girls? Help a lost mare out here?”

        Rarity sighed, brushing the brashness of the other two aside. “Rainbow Dash here has some... qualms about the disposition she was in while under the... Mystery Spell you had us under. You know, the one that Star Swirl never completed?”

        Twilight groaned, but spread her wings. “How could I forget? What I accidentally did to you girls... I don’t know how you ever forgave me.”

        “Oh Twilight, you told us what happened – there was no way you could have known what that spell would have done to us because of the Elements.” Fluttershy nuzzled closely against Twilight, offering a gentle hug with the new Princess readily accepted. “It’s nopony’s fault. Besides, everything’s back to normal.”

        “Well, almost everything,” Rarity said, her eyes trailing across Twilight’s wingspan. “I’d love to get new measurements for you, Twilight. I think the transformation made you a little taller now.” Trotting over to her supplies next to the window, Rarity pursed her lips as she looked into the sky. “Oooh, a shame. I was hoping for a bit more sunshine today.”

        Rainbow Dash looked over and shrugged. “Hey, the weather team did say partly cloudy.”

        Rarity shot her friend a glare. “Yes, well, that would have been fine if the entire sky wasn’t covered,” she said while she overlooked the clouds once more.

        “The entire thing is still a part! It’s like a big, 100% part!” Dash argued.

A smirk passed Rarity’s lips as she called forth some magic from her horn. The others engaged in some pleasant conversation, not noticing the sunshine the drifted in through the windows as Rarity returned to the table. “Anyway, Twilight, I seem to have left my measuring tape on my desk upstairs. It would be beneath me to leave you all for some passing fancy, so I’ll get to it some other time.”

        “It’s really no problem, Rarity,” Twilight tried, but she knew this was not the last she was to hear about Rarity’s generosity. Locking eyes with Applejack across the table, Twilight turned her head to the side. “So what were you going to say, Applejack? Something about who you are?” Biting her lip, she glanced over to Rainbow Dash momentarily. The pegasus only crossed her hooves.

        Applejack rubbed the back of her head roughly, upsetting her hat momentarily as it fell over her eyes. “Well, ya see Twilight, I guess... Ah...” she began, her addled speech a byproduct of Dash’s earlier outburst. “I guess maybe it’d be easier showin’ ya what I mean.”

Twilight smiled politely, her back hoof fidgeting slightly. Applejack removed her hat and slid it across the table. Twilight picked it up with her magic, looking it over for a moment before dropping it down back on the table. “I don’t get it – it’s just a hat. Your hat, Applejack. What’s so special about it?”

        “Well, Twilight, I made that hat.”

        Twilight gave it another look, confused. “Ooookay? I mean, it’s good design, sturdy. A lot like your old one. I don’t understand – I thought you loved your old hat?”

        Applejack chuckled. “I surely do, Twilight, but on days like today... when we come to Rarity’s... I wear that one. The one I made that... shoot, I don’t know, when I wasn’t me.”

        “When you weren’t you?” Twilight asked again, shaking her head. “Applejack, you’re not making any sense.”

        “She means when we were like, all nuts from the Mystery Spell Rarity was talking about earlier. Come on Twi, try to keep up.” Rainbow Dash was laying on her back, absentmindedly petting Opal who had come to rest on her belly. Fluttershy busied herself with helping to groom the usually grumpy kitty. “I’m supposed to be the one that moves fast, you’re the one who thinks fast.” Fluttershy whispered something under her breath at Rainbow Dash, who laughed aloud.

        Twilight held the hat in her hooves, looking it over once more. This time she paid special attention to the material, the stitching... everything was pristine. Perfect. It was much removed to the weathered hat that she was usually wearing. “This is incredible work, Applejack. I didn’t know you could sew like this. But what does this have to do with the Mystery Spell? You couldn’t sew to save your life when you had to make dresses like Rarity!”

        Applejack visibly winced. Downcast, Applejack nodded. “Yeah, I know Twi. I rightly can’t figure out why I couldn’t, either–”

        “Because it wasn’t your destiny! Your destiny is on the farm, with your family,” Twilight argued. “You couldn’t sew because it wasn’t you.”

        “But it was me!” Applejack shouted, catching Twilight off-guard and making her drop the hat. Grabbing the hat, Applejack stared at the floor as she put the hat back over her eyes. “I-I mean... it was a different me. But still me.”

        Twilight opened her mouth, but nary a sound came out. Blinking hard, Twilight parsed her thoughts. “But you... I don’t understand.”

        Rarity put her hoof on Twilight’s shoulder and gestured toward the sunny skies that shone through the nearby window. “Darling, we really don’t understand what happened either, but... what we do know is that the experience changed us. For the better, I believe. Once we... adapted, to what our true destinies fought against. What was our antithesis became a new strength for us to draw on.”

        Twilight stared outside, letting the sunlight touch the bottom of her hooves. It felt nice. Looking back at Rarity, she slowly turned to look at her friends one at a time. The sun shone on Rarity, Applejack tipped her new hat, Rainbow Dash contentedly brushed Opal as Fluttershy entertained her with another joke.

        “But you were all so depressed...” she breathed.

        “We were because we didn’t know what we were doing anymore. Our skills didn’t match our memories.” Fluttershy returned to the table, leaving Rainbow Dash to deal with the kitty. “It takes time to steel yourself in front of a crowd to deliver a good performance... I can try and try but I still freeze up. But I don’t in front of my friends... I trust them.”

        “Sewing takes a lot of muscle memory and a lot more dexterity than farmwork usually provides. You gotta be soft when making a dress, and know when to be firm to iron out a crease.” Applejack said. “Memories of the Applejack who knew how to sew... whose destiny it was to do so... they kept coming back to me. So I got curious. Tried my hoof at it a few more times. I guess I got good at it.”

        “Weather follows quite a different pattern than your usual dress, Twilight. When I couldn’t get it out of my head one morning, I stopped over at your library... Remember when I said I was picking up a book of basic meteorology and said it was for an assignment for Sweetie Belle’s class? I may have pulled the proverbial wool over your eyes,” Rarity blushed.

        “Yeah, and you have to build a relationship with animals. In my head, I was already friends with all of them. But these guys were still running on the whole, ‘Hey, this awesome broad cleaved through my house!’ Can’t say I blame them for not being too open with me,” Dash said, looking Opal in the eyes. Amusingly, the cat licked to the tip of her nose, which caused her to giggle and kick her feet slightly.

        Twilight stared an extra long time at Rainbow Dash, her expression caught between amusement, and totally flummoxed. Shaking her head, she turned to the others. “And you’re all like this... what about Pinkie?”

        Applejack chuckled deeply, resting her head in her hoof. “Landsakes, girl, you saw her on your way in, didn’t ya? All happy, trotting whimsy-like toward Sweet Apple Acres?”

        Twilight blinked. She did say that she saw Pinkie going that way. She hadn’t thought to ask why. “So... what, she’s out bucking apples or something?”

        “That’s one way to put it.” Rainbow Dash guffawed, earning herself a very indignant glare from Rarity. Applejack just shook her head.

        “Twilight... we all had memories of a life we never lived. We’re okay with the ponies we are now. It feels right, the way we are. But there are some things, for some of us, we feel we can’t really go without anymore. These lives had something in ‘em that we feel we’ve suddenly taken for granted.”

        “And Pinkie...” Twilight asked.

        “Pinkie’s other lifestyle... it was important to her. She isn’t ready to give it all away.”

        -----

        Pinkie Pie sat on an empty spot on a hill overlooking Sweet Apple Acres. She sighed contentedly, reminding herself not to lean to her left anymore. Bloomburg wasn’t there anymore. “It’s funny. Well, not ha-ha funny, but... it’s weird. I knew you were so important to Applejack, but I never thought you’d be so important to me, Bloomburg.” Pinkie patted the ground where the tree had been uprooted.

        “...You could always lean next to me, if’n ya like,” Big Macintosh said, joining her on the hill. Pinkie gasped slightly, giving the big stallion a big smile.

        “Big Mac!?” She made as if to throw herself on him with a hug, but managed a more polite wave instead.

        “Eeyup.”

        “I thought... I thought you still had chores.” Every inch of her fidgeted under his gaze.

        “Still do, Pinkie. Still do. But Granny said you were here again, and told me to get myself up here. Y’all been helping out here a lot last few weeks. Good work, too. I can stand to take a little time off to see you up here.” Big Macintosh sat down. Without a moment’s hesitation, Pinkie Pie leaned herself against him, heaving a large sigh of relief. “Applejack’s been tellin’ me what’s been goin’ on.”

        Pinkie sighed, nodding her head. Applejack asked her permission to tell him, and Pinkie couldn’t say no. “I’m sorry, Big Mac. I know it’s no fun to sit here while I think of a time that never was... of an ‘us’ that never will be again.” Pinkie said, her head buried in his side.

        Big Mac was silent for a time, gazing out over his orchards. “Question I have is why you’re always on this hill after a long day? Ain’t no shade up here no more.”

        Pinkie laughed, but it broke into a strangled sob somewhere on the way out. “I can still feel the shade, though.” Pinkie pawed at the ground beneath her hooves, trying to recall every piece of grass from some forgotten memory. “This is where we... Mayor Mare was right there... And Applejack came in from Manehatten and she could not stop talking about how big Bloomburg had gotten. She gave me my dress and...” She could see her friends standing alongside her, so different and yet very much the same. “This is where I said ‘I do.’”

Pinkie sniffed hard, rubbing a hoof over her eyes. Big Mac put a hoof around Pinkie and drew her close for a friendly hug. “I’m super duper thankful you’re putting up with me like this. You must think I’m a loopy pony.”

        “Eenope. It’s no problem. Anythin’ for my sister’s frie-” Big Mac stopped. Swinging his head low, he tried again. “Anythin’ for you.”

        Pinkie heaved a broken sob, throwing her hooves around Big Mac. “Don’t say that. You’d always say that. You’ve never said that.” She wanted things to be simple again. She shouldn’t keep coming out here like this. She shouldn’t be taking up so much of her husband’s time. Not her husband.

        Come to think of it, she probably shouldn’t be kissing him right now either. But then again, he kissed her, so maybe she should keep kissing him as if nothing changed at all.

        And so she did.