//------------------------------//
// 01 - What in Tarnation? 
// Story: The Haunted Mansion 
// by lunabrony 
//------------------------------//

	Sunrise seemed like an eternity ago.
The clucking of chickens completely surrounded Applejack, several dozen of them all watching her with suspicious, distrustful eyes. It was the same routine that had been performed every morning for years now, and although the chickens tolerated her presence, they never seemed to quite understand why she was there. Collecting eggs was a thankless, time consuming task. Every morning, Applejack would sweep a hoof under chicken after chicken after chicken, transferring the eggs that had been laid that day into a large basket. Some of the chickens would look confused, unable to figure out where the egg had gone. It had just been there a moment ago, but another would take its place tomorrow. Others would peck angrily at her, not allowing their prize to be given up so easily. 	
Upon completion of the collection process, Applejack exited through the door to the hutch and immediately took in a breath of fresh air. She never quite got used to that smell, the stink of dozens of chickens mixed with her own sweat from the day's activities. One job down, a thousand to go. That's what it felt like, anyway.
No sooner had she emerged from the chicken hutch with her basket than Big Macintosh approached her from the left. This, normally, would have been alright, except Apple Bloom emerged at the same time from the right. Applejack loved her farm, and loved her family even more. But years of daily chores, running around saving Ponyville, and dealing with Pinkie Pie had left her exasperated. It was this moment that she finally realized she just couldn't take it anymore.
"Applejack, Applejack!" the younger sister was bouncing up and down. "Y'all gotta come help with Winona, she got 'er  head stuck in the gopher hole again, and ah can't get her out!"
Big Macintosh simply pointed to the roof of the shed. "Shingles need replacin'." He said.  He was a large stallion, and being on top of a roof just didn't make for a very safe situation.
Apple Bloom piped up. "An' after we get that done, y'said you would help repaint our Clubhouse!"
"Farmhouse too." Big Macintosh said, a stallion of few words as always.
All of these words began swirling around in Applejack's head, so many things to do. Always so many things to do. Finish one job, three more cropped up in its place. Heh. Cropped. She'd have to remember that. But now was not the time. Now was the time of feeling over-worked and under-appreciated. Finally she'd had enough, and she threw her hat down on the ground in the dirt. "Ah'm goin' on vacation!" She announced, and both of her siblings gave her a very strange look.
"Pardon?" Bloom asked.
"Ah ain't had a day off in a dogs age, and ah ain't as young as ah used tah be."
Macintosh looked offended at this. He was older than her.
"Ah'm takin' a few days to m'self. Ah'll be back b'fore ya know it." She announced, and fully intended to leave at that very moment, though she did stop to remove Winona's head from the gopher hole. Couldn't just leave the poor pup like that, after all.
Apple Bloom looked up on her big sister with big, pleading eyes. She almost looked hurt, in a way, though that was just her method of subtle  manipulation. "Dontcha like workin' with us anymore, Applejack?" She asked.
"Of course ah do, Sugarcube. But there comes a time when even need to recharge. Workin' sunup to sundown, hour after hour, day after day, no shortage of things that need doin'. Ain't got no time fer mahself, y'understand."
The younger sibling frowned. "Ah guess. Ah jes' din' think work was that hard, ah get through it okay, and ah'm younger'n you."
Applejack smiled. "That's cuz yer still a youngin', youngin'. Y'all jes' leave the heavy stuff tah me an' Macintosh. Trust me, when yer older, y'll start gettin' more responsibility an' more chores, and y'll be wishin' y'were young again. Now go help Macintosh then play with yer friends."
"Okay!" Bloom wasted no time in running off, her energy seemed limitless.
Applejack wished hers was as well.
***
Having no immediate plans to go anywhere extravagant, Applejack made her way to the train station, where she threw down a few bits for a carriage. Trains couldn't go everywhere, after all, and it would be nice to momentarily be the one BEHIND the harness instead of under it. She paid no attention to the stallion pulling it, only responding to his query of destination with "Whatever inn is open."
The carriage ride began pleasantly enough, rolling hills, a soft ride passing by other ponies who didn't have to get up at the crack of dawn and actually had some time to themselves. The carriage passed through Ponyville, taking the scenic route, and travelled along the outskirts towards the Everfree Forest. This concerned Applejack somewhat, as she had no intention of entering the dark and dangerous territory of Timberwolves and Ursa Majors.
"Uh, excuse me?" Applejack called. "Ah'd really like tah not go into that there forest, if it's all th' same. There's a little inn  a few miles from here that-"
Her request went unanswered, in fact, as the carriage passed through the border of the Everfree Forest, it actually began to pick up speed. Applejack narrowed her eyes, and stuck her head out the window. "EXCUSE ME." She called to the stallion pulling the carriage. "Ah JUST said, ah didn't... want... to..." Her voice trailed off, for the sight which befell her eyes was completely unexpected.
Her driver, for all intents and purposes, may have been Big Macintosh.
The carriage continued to speed up, the stallion running faster and approaching dangerous levels of velocity. Her driver, large, broad shouldered and red, paid no attention to the winding curves of the dirt road. Applejack was thrown to the floor of the carriage, slamming into the side of the door as the vehicle tipped and turned. She managed to pick herself up just long enough to launch herself towards the partition that separated the carriage from the harness. She held on with both front hooves, just long enough to see the driver rear up on both hooves.
Although the stallion had no cutie mark, an effect which Applejack thought rather strange, stranger still was the uncanny resemblance to Macintosh. A Clydesdale for sure, dark red in color, with an light orange cropped tail. She could only assume the mane would have been the same, but it was impossible to tell. For when the stallion pulling her carriage reared up on his hind legs, she could clearly see that the apparition was in fact headless.
"Bwaaaaaah!" Applejack cried, and flung herself backwards. The carriage swung around a corner at that moment, and the farm pony was traveling at such a direction that she flew right out through the door, tumbling head over hooves and skidding facedown in the dirt in the dark shadows of the Everfree Forest. This vacation was not turning out well at all. She heard something crack, but a quick test of all four limbs and an absence of pain revealed that nothing was broken. Applejack looked up just in time to see the carriage disappearing around the bend of the dirt road farther down, still pulled by its mystical mount.
Rising to her hooves, Applejack took in her surroundings. She had, surprisingly enough, landed in front of a pair of enormous black iron gates. The decor was such that the gratework seemed to be molded in the shape of bones of varying shapes and lengths. The gates themselves were attached to meticulously groomed hedge, which stretched in either direction as far as the eye could see. Beyond the gate, following a small garden, was the biggest house that she had ever seen.
"What in tarnation?" Applejack spoke aloud, to nobody in particular. A reasonable question, for the house was unlike she had ever witnessed. It was at least three floors in height, supported in front by heavy marble columns which seemed to stretch forever towards the sky. The house was in a state of decay, for what shutters were not missing from the windows were barely hanging on, shingles were missing, paint was peeling. The steps leading up to the front walkway were rotting and broken. Yet the garden in front of the house was flawless. Hedges and bushes perfectly trimmed, tombstones lined on either side with perfect precision. A long figure stood at one of these burial sites, disrupting the ground with a heavy shovel and dressed in a flowing black cloak.
"Oh, this ain't gonna be good..." The farm pony said, pushing her way through the gate, which opened with surprising ease. She hadn't expected them to open so freely, but upon entering the grounds the gates creaked and slowly swung shut behind her. With a groan, she whirled around and pulled on them. Nothing. She pushed on them. Nothing. They were stuck. "Great, this is how ponies go missin' and are never heard from again..." she muttered. She slowly approached the figure, who turned as she drew nearer. It was the last someone on earth she wanted to see right now, and she couldn't help giving a slight jump at the recognition.
"Welcome, foolish mortal. Forgive me, I didn't mean to scare you prematurely. Not THIS time anyway." Discord said with a grin, his eyes reflecting the sunlight. Or was it malice? Applejack wasn't sure. "The real scares shall come, but all in due time."
"Discord! What did you do?!" Applejack demanded. Of course, how could she have been so foolish? It was the only logical explanation, ponies running around with their heads missing and giant houses springing up right out the buck nowhere.
"Discord? I'm afraid you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Master Booregard, and I am merely a servant here. As for your accusation, I haven't done anything. I've been here, as I always am, preparing resting places for our dearly departed guests. It is my purpose, I suppose, to remain eternally here, tending not just the plants which can never die, but the guests who can never live. Sort of poetic, really. " A chill ran through Applejack's spine. 
"I don't believe fer a minute y'ain't had nothin' t'do with this. Ah want answers!" She stomped her hoof down to further emphasize this, but it only resulted in yet another unsettling smile from Not-Discord.
"And answers you shall have. I can only assume you want lots of them, for there are lots of questions. But first, come inside, out of the rain."
Applejack frowned. "But it ain't-" There was a crack, and a flash of lightning, and a torrential downpour opened up over her head. She coughed a bit, and out of suspicion, tasted it. "Chocolate. Some things never change." With that, she glared at Discord. "Ah ain't done with you yet." She warned, and made her way inside. The doors creaked open on their own, anticipating her arrival.
"Look alive!" Discord called after her, already turning his back on her to resume his foreboding task of digging graves. "Because nothing else will!" 
The last thing Applejack heard before the doors slammed shut was his contagious, booming laughter.