On most days, the palace was a place of regal serenity. Nobles and commoners alike came and went to see Celestia during the day court and Luna during the night court, the stone-faced guards keeping watch over the grounds day in and day out with the monotony of security seldom breaking.
The past few days had not been “most days.”
Even though the sun had departed and the moon was hanging overhead, the palace was abuzz with preparations. Earth ponies were hard at work in the courtyard making sure everything was just so, and everything that was not just so would either be fixed or disposed without a trace by the next day. Pegasi zoomed overhead, keeping the flow of mail and messages going until each had probably carried a whole forest in a single day. Unicorns milled about every public inch of the palace, setting up decorations, replacing decorations when the wedding planners changed their minds, and sitting in a corner to help themselves to some Canterlot vintage while they waited for their employers to change their minds again.
Naturally, that made getting anywhere a herculean ordeal for anyone who wasn’t in one of those groups.
“Are we almost there?” Rainbow Dash griped above, ducking under yet another messenger pony that almost took her head off.
“Not that far,” Twilight called from the front of the single-file line that they were forced into by the traffic, hugging close to the hallway’s wall.
“Twilight, are you sure your old room can hold all of us?” Fluttershy asked from towards the back.
“I’m positive,” Twilight assured over her shoulder. “Trust me; it’s much bigger than the library’s bedroom.”
“It’s not like we have much of a choice,” Applejack huffed in front of Rarity. “Whole town’s booked for this weddin’. I mean really, this is ridiculous just for two ponies tyin’ the knot. They ain’t even royalty!”
“They’re the next best thing,” Rarity chimed in. “Fancy Pants got to the top of the social ladder through sheer charisma, and Fleur is the most successful and charitable fashion model of the century. I have no doubt that some ponies would recognize Fleur on the cover of a magazine more readily than they’d recognize Celestia.”
Rainbow Dash snorted. “Yeah, if that magazine was full of cl-” She let out a yelp when she was sent into a wild spin by a messenger that blindsided her. “Hey, watch where you’re going!” She was about to go after the offender when Fluttershy held her back with a bear hug.
“I don’t know why you’re so belly achy,” Pinkie Pie said, suddenly popping up from under Applejack’s hat and sitting on her head. “We get to have cake. Wedding cake! You’re only allowed to be belly achy if you eat too much cake, AJ!”
Applejack reached up and pulled her hat back down to her head, banishing Pinkie Pie back to the rear of the line. “I know, I know. I guess I’m just a bit wary, is all.”
“Are you okay?” Fluttershy asked meekly, fluttering up to her cowpony friend.
Applejack waved her off. “I’m fine. It’s just that every single time all six of us are here in Canterlot, somethin’ goes wrong. First it was the Gala, and then it was Cadence’s weddin’. I’m not exactly eager to go three for three here.”
“Oh, don’t be silly,” Rarity said with a huff and a roll of her eyes. “This is just a celebrity wedding, not a political affair, so I doubt any villains like Chrysalis will show up. And since the Gala, we’ve all greatly improved on our manners, so there won’t be any embarrassing mishaps that’ll get us all blacklisted like last time, right?”
The other five gave assorted mumbles of agreement.
“Right?!” she snapped, a fire flaring in her eyes.
“Right!” they all squeaked in unison, their ears shooting up in surprise.
“Good,” she said calmly, her ladylike exterior coming back to the forefront. The others were frozen in place, but she just held her head high and trotted ahead.
“Rarity scares me sometimes,” Pinkie whispered, shivering in Fluttershy’s bangs.
“You an’ me both, sugarcube,” Applejack agreed as they all willed their legs to move again.
“Er, anyway,” Twilight said hesitantly, cantering ahead of Rarity to take the lead again, “right this way.” She turned a corner into a much less crowded hallway and led them past row after row of doors until they reached the end. She turned to face them and opened the door with her magic, proudly saying, “Here we are!”
Rarity stepped through first, and was the first to have to catch her breath. Inside was a suite that was easily as large as Octavia’s, and Octavia’s could hold a pretty decent rave mosh pit before she banned Vinyl from doing that anymore. The carpet was a lush lilac purple that matched Twilight’s fur, and the walls were coated with wallpaper that had her cutie mark arranged like the stars in the sky. Seven beds were lined up against a wall to the side, each with a different color scheme to show who was supposed to sleep where.
“Woah,” the five of them collectively sighed in awe, the other four peeking around Rarity. The quintet quickly scattered to explore the den of decadence up close.
“You used to live here?” Rainbow Dash gasped as she flew up to the ceiling, which had a wall-to-wall star map plastered on it.
“It’s like a funhouse for eggheads in here!” Pinkie giggled as she made funny faces at herself in the reflection of various test tubes, flasks, and other chemistry equipment sitting on a long desk.
“I gotta admit, Twi, I knew you must be pretty well off, but I never expected this,” Applejack admitted from the center of the room, looking around like a foal lost in the mall.
“Well, I sort of lived here. This is where I stayed during the week for lessons, and on the weekends I went back home to mom and dad,” she explained. She trotted in behind them and shut the door behind her, adding, “Wow, they really weren’t kidding when they said it was just how I left it…”
“If I were you, I’d never want to leave,” Rarity said as her eyes browsed one of the many, many bookshelves scattered about the room. Her eyes fell on one shelf, and a light heat touched her face as she read the titles. “Erm, Twilight, why do you have so many ero-”
The entire shelf’s contents were suddenly grabbed by Twilight’s magic aura and tossed into her closet with a loud crash. “Wh-whatever are you talking about?” she said with a nervous smile and chuckle.
The others, minus Pinkie who was giggling her plot off, shared a look before Rarity said, “Nothing, nothing at all.”
“Anyway,” Twilight said pointedly, barricading the closet with a bookcase or three, “just relax until Fleur gets here. Make yourself at home. And no, Pinkie, that does not mean you can start baking things with my chemistry equipment.”
The pink party pony’s giggles stopped and she looked up at the already bubbling retort. “Um, I’ll share?” she said meekly.
Twilight sighed and facehoofed.
“Um, Twilight?” Fluttershy said quietly from the suite’s box garden. “What plants are these? I recognize mindfang and redglare, but I don’t think I’ve seen the others.”
“Oh, I’m glad you asked!” A wide grin found its way on Twilight’s face as she cantered over to start babbling botany with the nature girl.
Rarity tuned the science talk out and stared at the starry sky on the ceiling. The attention to detail was breathtaking; every star looked like it was ripped straight from the sky itself, still twinkling as it was placed in Twilight’s bedroom. The longer she looked, the more the stars seemed to genuinely shine down at her, the more she felt a cool night breeze on her fur, the more she felt soft lips against hers…
“Hey, Rare, you okay?” Rainbow Dash asked, gliding over and knocking on her noggin. “You’ve been staring up for, like, five minutes and you look like you just walked in on somepony in the shower.”
Rarity blinked and shook her head, just noticing how hot her face felt. “I-I’m fine, dear, perfectly fine.”
Pinkie popped up from the aether below her and put her nose right against Rarity’s. “You sure? Because you’re looking almost as pink, as, well, me!” She gasped dramatically and put her front hooves over her mouth. “Oh my gosh, maybe you are turning into me! Maybe the curse of the werepinkie is real! Don’t let me bite anyone else!”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes as she landed and put her hoof over Pinkie’s mouth. “Ignoring Pinkie’s pinkie-ness, you sure you’re okay? You’re not lookin’ so hot. Do you have a fever?”
“I assure you, I do not,” Rarity huffed, sitting back and crossing her forelegs.
“You sure?” Applejack cut in, trotting over and putting a hoof on Rarity’s forehead. “I think Rainbow may be right.”
Rarity swatted the cowpony’s leg away. “Honestly, what is with everyone putting their hoof on my forehead when my face is a little red? There is such a thing as personal space, you know.”
Rainbow Dash and Applejack shared a confused look while Pinkie voiced their thoughts, “When did anypony put their hoof on your forehead, Rarity? Because if somepony touches you in a place or in a way that you don’t like, that’s no good, you know!”
Rarity’s face got hotter as she insisted, “It’s nothing I feel the particular need to discuss, now shoo! I think whatever you’re cooking is burning or something.”
Pinkie gasped and rushed over to the chemistry set with a cry of, “My brownies!”
Applejack stared after her for a few seconds before asking, “Is there even any flour in here? Hay, is there even any chocolate?”
“Don’t question it,” Rainbow said flatly, patting Applejack on the shoulder.
Rarity tried to tiptoe away while the other two were distracted, but was stopped with Applejack grabbing her by the leg. “Oh no you don’t, Rare; you still haven’t told us what’s up with you,” she said sternly, dragging her back in place.
“Nothing is ‘up,’” Rarity pouted, glaring at the two nosey mares.
“Yeah, you’re a worse liar than Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash deadpanned. “Twilight got a letter the other day saying that the last few times you came to Canterlot, you were spending all your time in your room and kept avoiding the princesses. And now that we’re here again, you’re acting all weird and spacey. What’s going on?”
“Curse social networking,” Rarity spat under her breath.
Applejack put a hoof on Rarity’s shoulder. “Look, Rare, we know it doesn’t seem like any of our business, but we worry about you,” she explained with a small smile. “We’ve heard you’ve been gettin’ along great with Luna, so we just wanna know if anything’s wrong, okay?”
Rarity looked into her friend’s emerald eyes and couldn’t help but smile herself. “Well… nothing’s wrong per se-”
“Sorry I’m late,” Fleur said as she gracefully burst through the door so hard it strained the hinges. “The traffic out there is positively insane!” She flipped her mane and bumped the door closed with her hip. “So, shall we get this bachelorette slumber party started?”
“Party?” Pinkie squeaked, her head popping out of Fleur’s saddlebags. “I was told this was a sleepover! Oh my gosh, sleepovers are parties?! This changes everything!” Her head disappeared back into Fleur’s bag before she came back in with her trademark cannon through the front door. “Party over here, woot woot!”
“No party cannon in my room!” Twilight barked, magically shoving said artillery and its owner back into the hall and slamming the door.
“Awww…” Pinkie Pie popped back in under the sheets of Rainbow Dash’s bed and slumped to the floor, her plot in the air and head on the carpet.
“How…how did she do that?” Fleur asked, her jaw slack.
“It’s Pinkie Pie, you learn not to question it,” Rarity assured as she trotted up. “So glad you could make it, dear; just one more night before the big day!”
The two unicorns squeed and shared a hug.
“And these are your friends, right? The other Elements?” Fleur asked as she broke the hug.
“Mhm,” Rarity nodded, turning around and pointing to each of her friends in turn. “Fleur, meet Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Twilight Sparkle. Girls, meet Fleur.”
The other girls crowded around and extended their hooves for Fleur to shake, giving assorted greetings and congratulations.
“Fluttershy… thought I recognized your name,” Fleur said with a small smile as she shook hooves with the yellow pegasus. “You were a fashion model for a while, no? I kept hearing from my entourage and my manager that I’d have to watch out for you.”
“I was,” she admitted with a blush. “But I retired; being a model wasn’t really for me, I don’t think.”
“Such a shame,” Fleur sighed. “I think your figure would knock stallions dead if you just learned to flaunt it.”
Fluttershy squeaked and hid behind her mane. “R-really?”
“Really,” Fleur giggled.
“Told ya,” Rainbow Dash snickered, playfully elbowing Fluttershy.
“And you’re Rainbow Dash,” Fleur said, shaking her hoof. “Honestly not what I expected.”
“Nopony can ever expect the awesomeness of the real thing,” Rainbow Dash boasted, puffing out her chest.
“Well, it’s more that when Rarity and my fiancé first met, she lied and said you were the Wonderbolts’ personal trainer to impress him,” Fleur snickered.
Rainbow Dash blinked before her eyes narrowed into dangerous slits. “She what?!”
“It was over a year ago!” Rarity giggled nervously, hiding behind Fleur. “Spur of the moment white lie, you know?”
“I’ll give you spur of the-” Rainbow Dash yelped when she was lassoed and dragged away by Applejack.
“Calm down Rainbow; not the time for temper tantrums,” Applejack chuckled.
“Applejack,” Fleur mumbled, tapping a hoof to her chin. “Part of the Apple family, or just a coincidence?”
“Apple family and darn proud of it,” Applejack said, puffing her own chest up and putting her hoof on Rainbow Dash like she was the biggest catch in a hunt.
“Hey, hooves off!” Rainbow Dash spat, wiggling against her bonds.
“Make me, sugarcube,” the cowpony taunted back.
Fleur giggled. “It’s good to be part of such a huge family. You all do good work. And I can appreciate a gal who knows how to use a rope, if you catch my drift,” she said with a wink.
Applejack’s face turned from her normal orange to Big Mac red. “Um…I…uh…thanks ma’am…?”
Fleur and Rarity leaned against each other as they cackled, both quickly running out of breath. “Oh Fleur, you’re absolutely horrible!”
“You love me that way and you know it,” the fashion model said as she stifled her giggles.
Twilight cleared her throat, her face pink as she stifled her own laughter. “P-pleased to meet you, Miss Lee; Rarity’s told us a lot about you,” she said, extending her hoof.
Fleur nodded through her giggles and shook the offered hoof. “I bet; there’s much to say. And I’ve heard a lot about you, Miss Sparkle. It’s hard not to hear about the sister-in-law to the ruler of the Crystal Empire and Celestia’s magical savant of a student.”
Twilight’s blush deepened. “Oh, I’m nothing really special,” she mumbled behind her foreleg. “Right place, right time, right rainboom.”
Pinkie hugged the stuffing out of the purple unicorn and gushed, “Oh, she’s just being a silly filly; Twi’s the most specialest pony I know! Well, all my friends are the specialest. Specialest pony hug!” Her arms stretched out and pulled the other five mares into a group snuggle to a chorus of crushed lungs.
“Pinkie, air!” Rainbow managed to wheeze out.
“Oh, right, sorry.” Pinkie dropped them in a heap of fur with a blush and a giggle. “Sometimes I love my friends too much.”
“There are worse flaws to have,” Fleur snickered as she looked at the fluffy carnage. “Pleased to meet you, Miss Pie.”
“Please, call me Pinkie,” she said as she took Fleur’s hoof and shook it with both of hers. “I grew up on a rock farm, so don’t be so formal with this party pony!”
“Don’t ask about the rock farm; it’ll just hurt your head,” Twilight groaned as she got back on all fours.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Fleur said as she helped Rarity back up.
“So, Fleur,” Applejack started as she propped her lassoed trophy back up, “why’re you here instead of with your friends? Wouldn’t ya wanna party with them?”
“When you’re in my line of work, ‘friend’ is a very loose word,” Fleur explained. “It’s really hard to tell who’s spending time with me for a regular view of my to-die-for body, my money, my influence, or is just a paparazzo in disguise. The only ponies I really consider friends are my fiancé and Rarity, so here I am.”
Pinkie gasped, her eyes tearing up. “Only two friends? How do you live with that?!”
“I get by; I’m normally very quiet anyway,” Fleur said with a small smile. “It helps keep me from saying anything that can be misquoted and plastered on a headline.”
“You won’t have to worry about that with us,” Fluttershy assured with a shy nuzzle. “We understand. Nothing we say in here will leave this room, promise.”
Fleur smiled and nuzzled back, earning a small squeak from the pegasus. “Thanks. I think I like you girls already.”
“Told you that you would; a pony couldn’t ask for better friends,” Rarity said, lightly bumping her hip against Fleur’s.
The other girls, even Fleur, d’aaawed, save for Rainbow Dash who just blushed and struggled against Applejack’s lasso. “Is anypony gonna untie me, or are you all too busy being mushy?”
“I don’t know; I kind of like you like this,” Applejack teased.
“Oh, let her go,” Fleur said with a wave of her hoof. “Besides, she’ll need her hooves free for the refreshments.” Her horn glowed a soft pink and her saddlebags opened. Out came a large collection of wine bottles, the unicorn teasingly sloshing them side to side. “Hope you girls can hold your alcohol…”
That night was just like any other night for Luna. Whispers of wishes, curses, and sweet nothings in a chorus of millions of voices drifted through the void of swirling color, half-formed faces, and twisted monsters as she performed her nightly rounds. It was the world only she knew; the world between dreams. It was a place that she could never fully describe to anyone, but if she had to try, it felt like drifting in a tumultuous sea, with each dream a small bubble floating in the foam.
She exited one such bubble, licking her lips as she rejoined the flotsam of the collective unconscious. “That Derpy girl always has the best sweets ready for me,” she mused aloud to the formless void. “I really should think of a way to bring some muffins with me over to Rarity’s dreams sometime. I think she’d like them…” Her musings came to a stop when she felt a dream drift by bearing the blight of fear and anxiety; a nightmare, or a dream ready to descend into one. She dove in, shape and sound and color reasserting themselves in a comprehensible form around her.
The white halls, stained glass, and wooden pews of the palace’s chamber of ceremonies came into focus. She was standing far in the back, at the entrance, in the shifting shadows that covered the pews and the crowd. At the altar stood Celestia, and the bride and groom to be, Fleur and Fancy Pants. A quick search was all Luna needed to tell that Fancy Pants the dreamer, and the others just props in his dream.
The married couple-to-be were placed atop wooden stands like figurines on a wedding cake, locked in place by an unseen force and bathed in the glow of spotlight. The mirage of the bride looked like the picture of a mare excited for her new life, but trying to stay composed, while the dreaming groom’s legs shook as he locked his eyes desperately on her and only her.
She trotted down the aisle, through the darkness that covered the attendants and saw their true nature. A porcelain mask covered every single face, all of them different in decoration, but each wearing the same unnatural grin from ear to ear. Behind the masks lied not eyes, but camera lenses, each one zooming in and out in a chorus of buzzing electronics as they all went off with disorienting flash after flash.
“Nervous about the big day, are we?” she said softly as she stepped out of the darkness.
Fancy Pants’ head snapped to the intruder. He blinked, his eyes blank, uncomprehending. “Wh-what do you mean? Why’re you here, Princess?”
Luna channeled her magic at the foot of the altar, the soft cyan glow of her horn flooding the room. The shadows and the masked mockeries and the mirages faded away like dust, leaving only the two of them. “Just getting rid of another nightmare; I didn’t know that tomorrow troubled you so much.”
Clarity came to the stallions eyes, and he shook his head as if the nightmare were clinging to it. “A nightmare… yes, just a dream.” He shakily stepped down from his wooden stand and sat at the top of the altar. “I guess you could say that I’m troubled, yes.”
“Cameras for eyes and porcelain masks; that imagery is new for you, I must say,” Luna mused, sitting at the foot of the altar. “Doubting the sincerity of your entourage again?”
“That implies there’s any sincerity to doubt,” he sighed with a bitter laugh. “You won’t find a viler breed of leeches than the ones who cling to celebrities.”
“The more things change, the more they stay the same, I suppose,” Luna chuckled mirthlessly. “It was the same before my banishment; I doubt it’ll ever stop being so.”
“Sad, but true,” he said with a wave of his hoof as if it were a white flag. “But appearances must be kept up. I must be my charming, kindly self despite the shortage of ponies around me worth being kind to. I’m sure you understand, being royalty.”
“I do, though I suppose I have more leeway to give others a piece of my mind,” she giggled, much more relaxed. “Though I am curious about the stands you and Fleur were perched on… does this whole affair feel artificial in some way? Actors playing their parts?”
The stallion winced and looked away. “I will admit I have had my doubts. I know that I’m deeply in love with her, but when you’re in my position you always have to wonder if it’s properly reciprocated. Am I really what she wants? Does she want me for the right reasons? Will she love me after we get old and grey? Will this just end up like all the celebrity marriages I heard about growing up that never lasted longer than a year?” He scoffed and shook his head. “The worst part is that I know that she could reasonably be wondering the exact same things about me.”
Luna nodded with a soft hum. “Love always counts on a lot of trust, and a lot of faith. And when one is in a position of great power or influence, both can easily be in short supply. Sometimes you just have to make yourself believe what your partner says and hope things will work out for the best.”
“I suppose you would know best, Princess,” he said with a small smile, laying down with his front legs hanging over the top step. “You certainly seem to know what you’re talking about.”
“It’s been a long time since I’ve properly been in love,” she admitted, shifting in her seat, “but after living so long, you learn a lot about the subject.”
Fancy Pants’ smile grew into an intrigued smirk, an eyebrow raising. “Interesting qualifier there, your Highness; ‘properly’ in love… what about ‘improperly,’ if I may be so bold?” he asked.
Luna felt a soft heat grace her cheeks as she shook her head. “It’s nothing I care to discuss; it’s my duty to help my subjects through their psychological trials and hardships, not the other way around.”
“So it’s a trial and a hardship, is it? I daresay you must be quite smitten with somepony you shouldn’t be, it sounds like,” he purred with his infuriatingly disarming smile.
Luna’s eyes narrowed. “You are entirely too clever for your own good.”
“I get that a lot,” he chuckled. “All the same, I don’t really mean to pry. You’ve already helped me a lot by just forcing me to come to terms with my own anxieties. You help so many get through every single night so they can face the day. I feel it’s only fair that I offer to listen to your problems; with the way this country still thinks ill of you, I have little doubt you have much to tell and few ears willing to hear.”
Luna sighed in defeat. “I believe ponies these days call what you’re doing ‘buttering me up,’ and I daresay it’s working.”
“No, that would involve a lot more compliments about your eyes, your smile, your figure, etcetera,” he said with a wave of his hoof. “I just want to try to return the favor you paid me tonight, and perhaps remind you that not all your subjects fear you.”
Luna scanned her eyes over the dreamer for the slightest hint of dishonesty. It was much harder, nigh impossible, to hide intentions in the realm of dreams. Finally she sighed in defeat and conceded, “I may just be desperate to get this off my chest to someone other than my sister or Twilight for once… but fine, I’ll trust you.”
“I’m honored,” the stallion said with a bow of his head.
“Don’t push it,” she said with a smirk. “The truth of the matter is that for the first time since even before my banishment, I feel my heart stirring for someone else. It’d be foolish of me to say I’m in love just yet, but I feel its early stages setting in. We have much in common as artists, though with very different mediums, and no matter what we talk about or what we do I always find myself wanting more.”
“Then why not tell this mystery pony how you feel, ask them out for a date or two, and see where it goes from there? It seems straightforward enough,” he said.
Luna bit her lip. “The issue is that the object of my affections is of the… female persuasion. And everything I’ve heard and everything she’s said indicates that her orientation isn’t aligned with mine at all. And if I directly asked her, what exactly could she say? Even though it’s perfectly legal to turn my sister or I down in this day and age, I imagine there’d still be an unholy amount of pressure to say yes. I don’t want to put her in that position.”
“And yet you do want to put her in that position because the uncertainty is driving you up a wall,” Fancy finished.
“Yes,” she groaned, hanging her head. “Before I was banished, such romances were beyond taboo, so this may be the first time I’ll ever have a significant other I’m comfortable with and be able to just enjoy it without fear of judgment. And yet the moment I think that, I’m unsure whether I like her for who she is, or what she could be to me, namely my first romance where I don’t have to be afraid of being dethroned for my nature. My feelings on the whole affair are just a mess.”
“I see,” Fancy said evenly, stroking his moustache. “Now that we’re deep in the rabbit hole, mind if I ask who this mare is?”
Luna furrowed her brow and averted her eyes for a few moments before admitting, “Miss Rarity.”
The stallion let out a soft chuckle. “I had suspected as much. Call it a hunch.”
“I fail to see what’s so amusing,” she said flatly, looking up at him with narrowed eyes.
“Just that of all the things that could be the truth in a thousand lies that the grapevine produces, it would be this,” he explained.
“I’ve heard what the Canterlot gossips have been saying. What’s more infuriating is that I can’t exactly refute it,” she huffed.
“Never a good feeling is it? But enough about that,” he said with a wave of his hoof. “What we need to do is somehow glean Rarity’s true feelings for you, along with her orientation. If both answers are favorable, then you can simply approach her and ask her out on a date.”
“But I already know that she’s straight as an arrow. She’s said as much,” Luna repeated with a raised eyebrow.
“Self diagnosis can sometimes be misleading,” he chided. “Besides, though she is a young adult, ‘young’ is the keyword. She may still be discovering things about herself. Who knows? Maybe you’ll help her discover them.”
Luna’s face heated up once more. “It may be wishful thinking on my part, but I believe you have a point. All the same, I don’t exactly have a plan of action.”
Fancy Pants’ grin grew, and she could have sworn that his mustache curled mischievously. “You don’t, but I think I might.”
“And then, and then, and then do you know what I told him? I told him he was too small to ride!”
The septet of mares burst out into a chorus of tipsy laughter as they lay in a circle on the floor, not a one of them feeling up to properly standing or sitting up. Emptied wine bottles were cast about like leaves to the wind, and each of the mares had chocolate smeared on their lips from the copious amounts of brownies Pinkie somehow managed to bake.
“Fleur, darling, you are just, just horrible,” Rarity giggled as she took another dreg of wine. She was lying on her belly with her legs outstretched. She liked to think she looked perfectly composed like a Prench model, but alcohol tended to do that.
“He probably n-needed ice for that burn,” Rainbow Dash snickered, flat on her back and kicking her legs in the air.
“Or for the bruise on his plot from where the door hit ‘im on the way out,” Pinkie giggled, her cheeks red and a lurid grin on her face.
“I need to write that one down,” Twilight mumbled with a giggle, her forehead against Applejack’s neck. For support or because she was a cuddly drunk, none of them seemed to know or be sober enough to figure out.
“After you get so many bum coltfriends, you learn after a while how to burn them,” Fleur smirked with another swig. Even she was long past the point of sipping from a wine glass.
“I think I’m *hic* done,” Fluttershy, the real group cuddly drunk, said as she pushed away a half-empty bottle while she was snuggled up against Pinkie Pie. “I know this ish mean and I shouldn’t find it funny.”
“Y’all are a bunch of lightweights,” Applejack chuckled, by far the most clear-minded one. She tilted a bottle back and drained the last of its contents before setting it in the small pile of bottles she’d already emptied.
“Hey hey hey hey,” Pinkie stuttered with a pleading wave of her hoof. “D-don’t throw that bottle away, AJ! I gots me an idea!”
“Pinkie, we are not playing spin the bottle,” Applejack sighed. “Not everypony here swings that way.”
“I-I don’t think I’d mind,” Fluttershy muttered, her face turning Big Mac red.
“Oh rawr,” Pinkie purred, her grin widening and turning back to her cuddle buddy.
Applejack facehoofed. “Not helping, Shy.”
“S-sorry,” she squeaked, hiding her face in Pinkie’s mane.
Pinkie suddenly shook her head. “No, wait, no distracty pony for you! I wasn’t gonna say spin the bottle.”
“For the fifth time,” Rainbow said snidely.
“I thought it would be the sixth,” Twilight mumbled.
Rainbow Dash looked at her hoof as if there was something on it to count with. “No, I’m p-pretty sure it’d be five…”
“Oh hush, I wanna hear this,” Fleur giggled, waving Rainbow quiet.
“Thank you, Fleury,” Pinkie said with a truckload of sweetness. “I was gonna say that we play Truth or Dare, spin the bottle style!”
“That actually sounds kind of fun,” Rarity admitted, setting her bottle aside.
“That could be fun too,” Fluttershy mumbled through Pinkie’s curly hair.
Twilight pulled out her slumber party guide and flipped through it, her eyes narrowing into slits. “The book says it can be a good bonding exercise… I think. The letters are kind of moving.”
“I guess I can get behind that,” Applejack said with a smile and a shrug, setting the bottle down in the middle of the circle.
Rainbow Dash rolled onto her stomach. “I can take anything you girlsh can throw at me!”
“As the bride to be, I call first spin,” Fleur said with a parody of her normal formality. She smacked the bottle with her hoof, when they all were suddenly reminded of the principle of friction and that nothing spins very well on plush carpet.
“I’ll fix it!” Twilight almost sang, her horn glowing.
Applejack put her hoof on Twilight’s horn and got to her feet. “No drunk magic for you, sugarcube. Remember last time?”
“Which last time? Time no longer feelsh leenee… lineeay… straight,” the unicorn slurred.
“If only a few other things around here weren’t straight,” Pinkie giggled under her breath, getting a small snort out of Fluttershy.
“The time you thought that your drink could use more apple and decided I was apple flavored,” Applejack deadpanned before she took a thin hardback off a nearby shelf.
Twilight groaned and shivered. “Getting my stomach pumped wasn’t fun…”
“I’m going to be nice and assume that’s the booze talking. Otherwise I’d smack you so hard your head would spin for that bein’ the first thing that comes to your mind.” She plopped back down next to Twi, letting the unicorn lean against her again despite the threat, and slid the book under the bottle. “Okay Miss Fleur, your go.”
“Oh, you’re too kind.” With another giggle, Fleur smacked the bottle again. It went round and round like a record until finally the business end landed squarely on Rainbow Dash. “Okay, Rainbow, truth or dare?”
“Dare,” Rainbow snorted, narrowing her eyes defiantly.
“Dear, you’re going to regret that,” Rarity said as a sinisterly thoughtful grin graced Fleur’s face.
After a few seconds, Fleur said, “I dare you to lick the chocolate off Fluttershy’s lips.”
The yellow pegasus squeaked and the blue one’s face went bright red while the other girls devolved into a hail of snickers.
“The look on your fahace!” Twilight wheezed as she pointed at Rainbow Dash and laughed.
“Lucky,” Pinkie pouted, her ears going flat.
“That just ain’t right, partner,” Applejack said as she hid her own snickers behind her foreleg.
“Y-you’re pulling my tail, right?” Rainbow asked, eyes wide and pleading.
“Nope,” Fleur said with an evil smirk. “What, are you chicken? Chickens can’t get into the Wonderbolts.”
“Hey, that’sh racist,” Twilight slurred with an accusatory wave of her hoof. “Birds’re people too!”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes narrowed into slits as she rose to her feet. “I’ll show you chicken,” she huffed. “Flutters, c’mere.”
Fluttershy squeaked. “D-don’t I get a say in-”
Rainbow Dash grabbed Fluttershy by the shoulders and pulled their muzzles together, the former’s tongue flicking out to clean the latter’s chocolate smudges. Fluttershy’s eyes went wide, her wings snapped to attention, and her face was redder than one of her pet cardinals.
While the other girls were letting out scandalous “ooos” and laughing their plots off, Rarity felt some heat rise in her own cheeks. Her eyes refused to tear away from the scene. Instead of her funny bone getting tickled to death like she felt it should, an odd warmth spread throughout her as her heart pounded in her chest. Her gaze fell on Fluttershy’s cyan eyes, and the drunken haze that clouded her mind turned the owner’s coat from butter yellow to midnight blue and her partner’s to white, until the two standing there were Rarity herself and Luna.
The soft thud of Rainbow Dash letting Fluttershy go snapped Rarity out of the mirage. She shook her head to see Rainbow flop back down in her spot and Fluttershy lay there, her erect wings twitching as Pinkie Pie dragged her back to her side.
“My turn,” Rainbow huffed while Fleur wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes. She smacked the bottle, sending it into a spin until it landed on Applejack. “AJ, truth or dare?”
Applejack’s laughter died in her throat when she noticed the bottle pointing at her. “Erm… uh, truth,” she stuttered.
“Pansy,” Rainbow spat before humming in thought. “Okay, does Big Mac live up to his name, if you catch my drift?”
Applejack scowled. “Now why in tarnation do you think I would know tha-”
“Yes he does!” Pinkie blurted out with a drunk smile.
“Pinkie, you didn’t!” Applejack scolded, her face bright red while the other girls howled with laughter.
Pinkie Pie giggled nervously. “Oops…”
Applejack grumbled and lowered the brim of her hat. “Mac an’ I are gonna have to talk about this when I get home.” She smacked the bottle, sending it into a spin so hard that it flew off the book and hit Fleur square in the chest. “Oh, sorry Fleur!”
“It’s fine; guess that means it’s my turn,” she said as she muffled her laughter, putting the bottle back in place. “Dare.”
Applejack put her hoof to her chin in thought. A smirk of her own grew on her face. “Alright, I dare ya to stick a beer bottle on your horn and not take it off until you’re about to walk down the aisle.”
A chorus of awed “ooos” filled the room again, even from Fleur. “I admit, didn’t expect that from the country gal,” the fashion model said, levitating up an empty bottle and sticking her horn through the top without hesitation.
“I can be inventive when I wanna be,” Applejack chuckled.
“Fleur, you’re not seriously going to go through with it, are you?” Rarity asked with a groan. “I’d like to see you in the dress I made without something so…so silly!”
“Rules of the game, Rarity,” Fleur shrugged off. “Besides, it’s me. Everypony will think it’s a fashion statement and be doing the same thing by next week.”
Rarity opened and closed her mouth, each time failing to find words to fling back. She finally sighed and conceded, “You’re probably right…”
“You know I am.” Fleur giggled and gave the bottle another spin. It came to a stop pointing squarely at Rarity.
Rarity looked to Fleur’s face to see an evil smirk already fermenting there. “Truth!” she blurted out.
“Drat,” spat Fleur. She hummed and narrowed her eyes, her head tilting slightly as she thought. After a few moments, her mischievous smile grew into a wicked grin the likes of which Rarity had never seen before, one that could probably get her past the gates of Tartarus if she wanted. “Do you have any romantic feelings for Princess Luna?”
Rarity’s face grew red hot and she felt sweat form on her brow, despite the fact it felt like her heart also stopped. Her eyes darted around the room to see the other girls casting questioning glances at both her and Fleur.
“Now that’s just a silly question,” Applejack said to Fleur with a wave of her hoof as if she swatted a parasprite. “Everypony knows Rare is straighter than the trunk of one of my trees.”
“Yeah, you couldn’t ask her something juicier?” Rainbow added.
“Shhhh, let her answer!” Pinkie said with a hurried flail of her foreleg. “Just look at her face!”
“Whoa, what’s wrong with you, Rarity?” Rainbow asked, tilting her head at her friend.
“That ain’t no fever,” Applejack stated, looking the frozen unicorn over.
“Are you okay?” Fluttershy asked meekly.
Rarity’s eyes soon found all of her friends’ eyes on her, the weight of their gazes crushing her harder than even her most insane luggage loads. She gulped and took a deep breath, wiping the sweat off her brow.
“Yes…”
“I’m sorry, what? Speak up,” Fleur said coyly, putting a hoof to her ear.
“Yes…!”
“Still a bit quiet, there, sugarcube,” Applejack said, rubbing the edge of her hoof in her ear.
“Yes!” Rarity blurted out. “Yes, yes, for the love of Celestia, yes! I can’t take holding it in anymore! I have the hugest crush on that accursed, gorgeous, marvelous mare and it’s driving me nuts! She’s just so kind and alluring and modest and assuring and inspiring and…and…!” She pulled her fainting couch to her side and climbed onto it, burying her face in her forelegs and pulling a pillow over her blushing head.
She heard the hum of magic, and due to a lack of any fingers to grip the pillow, it slid right off her head to reveal Twilight’s face inches away from hers. “Issat why you’ve been avoiding her?” she said with a concerned frown as the other five mares peeked around her with similar looks.
“Yes,” Rarity half whined, half sighed. “I had a, shall we say… romantic dream about her recently. I’ve been feeling funny around her for a long while before that, but the dream made me realize it. I just couldn’t bring myself to talk to her, or be around her, or anything, because I was afraid of making myself look like an idiot… and I suppose afraid of how she made me feel.” She rolled over and flopped onto the floor, kicking her fainting couch from whence it came. “I’ve felt so much safer and happier and just better around her than I have around any of my past coltfriends. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I feel a lot better around you girls than I did my coltfriends in the end, but this is different. And I don’t know what to do about it, at all.”
“Just tell her that you like her, silly filly,” Pinkie giggled, nudging Rarity’s side with her nose. “Trust me, it isn’t that hard.”
“Being straightforward is always easy for you, Pinkie,” she deadpanned. “This situation is delicate. I don’t know her orientation, and she’s royalty, for goodness sake! Why in the world would a princess want to date a country girl with pretentions of class like me?”
“Maybe because you’re one of the most likable and hardest working mares out there?” Applejack suggested as she trotted over and lay next to Rarity.
“And helped save Equestria several times,” Rainbow reminded, flapping over to lie on Rarity’s other side.
“And love making other ponies happy with your work,” Pinkie added, hopping on Rarity’s back.
“Not to mention you’re passionate about it and treat every dress like your magnum opus,” Twilight slurred and giggled, nuzzling her cheek.
“And you’re very pretty,” Fluttershy mumbled with a blush, nuzzling Rarity’s other cheek.
“I think the other girls pretty much covered it,” Fleur giggled with a warm smile, trotting over and laying in front of her. “You doubt yourself too much.”
Rarity smiled back as her heart calmed and embarrassed heat turned to loving warmth in her chest. “Thank you; you’re all the best friends a mare could ask for.” She pulled all six of them close into one big cuddle pile of fur, earning aws from the other girls who hugged her back.
“Don’t thank us yet,” Pinkie piped up. “We haven’t helped you get her yet!”
“Beg pardon?” Rarity said, looking at the party pony blankly.
“Yeah, we gotta help you confess your undying love in the perfect romantic way so you two can fly off into the sunset,” Pinkie explained as if it were the law. “That’s just how these things work!”
“Pinkie, darling, it’s not undying love; it’s only a crush thus far,” she mumbled through another blush.
“Still, I do like that idea,” Fleur purred, pulling away from the cuddle pile. “A bunch of girls helping their friend come to terms with who she is and confess her affections… straight out of one of your romance novels, isn’t it Rarity?”
Rarity’s face grew hotter and she cast her gaze downward. “Well, yes, it certainly is, but-”
“Nuh uh, no buts unless you have a tail to go with it,” Pinkie interrupted. “Tomorrow night is Fleur’s wedding reception, and there’ll be lots of dancing and slow music and that other schmaltzy waltzy stuff. It’ll be perfect!”
“I like the way you think,” Fleur giggled, putting a foreleg around Pinkie’s shoulder and pulling her in conspiratorially.
“Yay, somepony who understands how I think!” Pinkie squeed, hugging the stuffing out of Fleur.
“As cheesy as it sounds, I kinda like this idea too,” Applejack admitted, pulling away. “Ya said you don’t know what to do, but if we put our seven heads together, I’m sure we could come up with something to knock the princess right off her hooves!”
“Yeah, and Twilight’s a good friend of Luna’s, so she could totally make a plan with that egghead brain of hers!” Rainbow added with a smile.
Twilight giggled shyly. “Aw girlsh, I’m not that smar-” She then somehow managed to topple over on her side even though she wasn’t moving. “Woah, what happened to gravity?”
“After she sobers up,” Rainbow corrected.
Rarity bit her lip and poked the edges of her front hooves together. “Girls, I’m still not sure about this…”
Fluttershy hugged her middle and nuzzled her side lovingly. “Don’t worry, Rarity; we jusht wanna help. It’d make you happy, right?”
Rarity looked down at the tipsy pegasus, with her soft booze blush and big cyan eyes, and couldn’t help but feel a bit lighter. “Oh, okay, if you all insist…”
“Yeah!” Pinkie exclaimed, pumping her hoof in the air. “We are making this happen, girls!”
The other six started excitedly chatting amongst themselves, coming up with a wide range of romantic gestures and procedures and hare-brained schemes to get Rarity and Luna to have “a moment” and “fall for each other.” As she joined in on the scheming, Rarity couldn’t help but smile. Her friends were all smiling, laughing, and helping her get the mare she wanted. Everything felt right with the world.