//------------------------------// // Trixie Almighty // Story: By means of Friendship and Magic // by Dramaideale //------------------------------// “No, no, for the final time no!” Trixie shouted at her “servant”, who stood adamant in front of her, a necklace made out of freshly collected bunny heads in his bloodied hands. Inside the magician, disgust mixed with compassion for those innocent, yet usually annoying rodents. She knew well that many animals and carnivorous races feasted on the minor critters, but why would anyone except an utter brute ever wear their body parts as a mere, worthless decoration? Especially heads, still filled with the little brains, dripping blood on the ground! While he was faithful and loyal to the goddess, Montezuma just couldn't understand how a god could refuse a offeringof sacrifices. How else could he show his dedication, what else could he do to ensure the goddess wouldn't destroy him and all the Aztecs? “Trixie repeats yet again that she won't accept your... unusual gifts. She won't accept neither flesh of bunnies nor other humans, if any even exist.” a hint of disgust was visible on her face as the thoughts of deeds Montezuma could commit passed her mind. “And especially not of ponies! Keep the vile, bloodthirsty thoughts out of your head! You can eat the bunnies if you're a carnivore, but Trixie doesn't desire to contaminate herself with the meat of others, and would highly appreciate if you wouldn't eat the critters in front of her. That's not an appetizing sight, you know?” “What else should I do to venerate you, oh goddess of this land?” he asked, wiggling the bunny heads. He hoped he hadn't insulted the unicorn in any way. It seemed his old ways of worship weren't appreciated in this world, as the blue goddess wouldn't accept any of his gifts. “What deeds should I commit to ensure you won't strike me or my people down?” Trixie groaned in annoyance. It was very hard to get any kind of information to pass through Montezuma's skull, but despite his deeply rooted barbarian ways, he was the only one she could talk to. In fact, the human was probably the first person who spent more than a day with her. For some strange reasons, other Ponies could always quickly find excuses to leave the unicorn alone. While she initially tried to fix the situation, all her efforts resulted in either more hollow words of unfulfilled promises or ridicule, so she stopped. Trixie found the Aztec's presence relieving, even if the showmare couldn't exactly call him a friend. Since he appeared, the unicorn hadn't had a single battle against her reflections, so she desired his companionship even more. It was as if his very presence protected her from the shadow which haunted her for so long, and the magician appreciated that. She quickly formed a calm response. “As Trixie proclaimed so many times before, simply follow her. Listen to the orders she gives you, and don't disobey her...” The Aztec seemed to finally understand. His adamant face assumed an expression of acceptance with only a little hint of disappointment. Saddened, he left for his tent to think of more ways to venerate her godhood. When the unicorn was sure the Aztec couldn't hear her, she whispered “...And most of all, don't leave Trixie alone.” She hated her weakness. She managed to spend her whole life alone and it was just fine, why did it have to change now? Why did she feel more fulfilled with someone to listen to her rants? “It makes no sense,” she spoke to herself, “But it's better now, so why should I question it?” “Glad to see a pony agreeing with me!” The pony heard a mysterious voice behind her. Scared, Trixie quickly turned around to see the source of the noise. Surprised, the magician saw a creature which she thought only existed in mythology. It was a Draconequus, laying comfortably on a hammock, lazily drinking an empty glass, his muzzle inside it. To Trixie's surprise, his size was constantly decreasing. With terror, she realized he was filling the glass with himself. After a second, it was filled to the brim with Draconequusy goodness. “If you have a problem with quenching thirst, then you need Discord!” he shouted. “Absolutely free! And if you take me within next minute, I'll throw in a garden statue inside Canterlot. It also presents my handsome greatness!” With a loud snort, the god reverter back to his regular size, shattering the glass that was confining him. The whole senseless yet interesting action proved to be completely confusing. “After all, wouldn't everything be better with a bit of chaos in it?” the god continued and stood up lazily from the hammock, stretching his arms. After he snapped his fingers, it transformed into a green, deformed mix of dragon and chicken. He sat on it, and it squeaked happily. “A tiny, itty-bitty drop of randomness is perfect to make life interesting! Everyone needs some chaos vegetables in the endless soup of boredom we call our existence! Unpredictability, my dear girl, is a great thing!” “How dare you stalk Trixie and eavesdrop, you audacious thing?” Trixie asked, outraged by the Draconequus' behaviour and insolence. He have been be nearly omnipotent, but that didn't mean he could do whatever he pleased in her presence! “Explain yourself!” The chaos god simply rolled his eyes and sneered at the pony. With yet another snap of his fingers, they both teleported to another location. Trixie suddenly felt cold. She looked around and realized that both her and Discord were on the top of a snow-covered mountain. Before Trixie could realize what was happening, the whole structure started falling apart. After another snap they appeared in the middle of a forest. The trees weren't like any the magician has ever seen. Their trunks were massive and blue. Both fruit and leaves were replaced with candy canes. Trixie glanced at the Draconequus, looking for an answer. He simply looked at the trees with a wide smile, ignoring her confused stare. Annoyed, the magician decided it was the best time to ask the question. “Why are you showing this to Trixie? What's the purpose?” The Draconequus simply laughed. “I don't know, but it's certainly a different view than what we usually see, isn't it?” Before Trixie could express how angry she was with Discord wasting her time, he snapped his fingers and teleported them to yet another location. They were inside a temple which highly resembled those described in the Daring Do series. The whole hall was made of stone, plentiful nonsensical images chiseled in pretty much every block. Trixie looked around her, greatly impressed by the work. Suddenly, a paper card with strange inscriptions appeared in front of her. Before the showmare could see what was written on it, Discord snapped his hands and they were back to the Everfree Forest. “Great adventure, wasn't it?” Discord spoke enthusiastically. Trixie merely groaned at the omnipotent, yet incredibly annoying creature. While the unicorn tried to control her anger due to the Draconequus not having done anything iniquitous yet, he was simply unbearable. “Adventure? We merely stepped inside the places and came back after a second!” The lord of chaos and disharmony nodded happily at her remark. “That was the point, my dear!” he laughed again. “Embracing new places and new solutions is of utmost importance, after all!” After he snapped his fingers, a tub of ice cream appeared inside his hand, and another one wrapped itself around Trixie's hoof. She licked her lips. The ice cream was vanilla, her very favourite flavour. Unable to control her desire to eat the fine sweet after weeks of small food rations, she quickly started devouring it, not caring about such a simple thing as etiquette. Discord simply ate his tub as a whole, burping loudly after he consumed it, a trail of violet flame appearing from his long muzzle. Trixie felt “As you probably suspect, showing you some things isn't the sole reason for my appearance here.” “That much was obvious,” Trixie mouthed, still eating the delicious sweet. The Draconequus smiled even wider. “Yes, yes... Oh my omnipotent goddess.” Discord laughed as the magician almost choked. While she wasn't exactly surprised the god knew of Montezuma, it was just so sudden! She raised her head and looked into Draconequus' eyes. Both the smile and jolly behaviour disappeared instantly from his face, replaced by a businessman-like attitude. Trixie prepared herself for what was to come, as she knew that this meeting just got serious. “Yes, I summoned him here. I thought you'd need some company...” he snorted in a successful attempt to stop himself from bursting into a merry laugh. ”Even if it is indeed a primitive one. After all these encounters with your own self, you obviously needed some well-meaning help!” Trixie looked at him with rage. As she tried to shout at him for his trickery, the magician found herself unable to speak. She wanted to find out if he was responsible for the attacks of those terrifying clones, and everything suggested that it was the case! “No, I didn't summon them. Nobody cursed you,” he sighed, as if he was disappointed with her outburst, and pointed his index finger at her. “Nobody but you and your rather questionable sanity is your enemy, my dear. I'm afraid your little mind didn't like being alone for so long,” Discord started shifting his shapes. For a second he appeared to be a pony with goat's beard, then into a human clad into in red clothes, before changing back to his Draconequus form. “I'm going to help you, however!” When Trixie felt she could talk again, she didn't waste any moment before speaking her mind out. “OBJECTION! If they do exist only in Trixie's mind, if she's truly insane,” she pointed her blue hoof at his face, confident she found a contradiction in what the god of chaos just said. “Then how do you know about them, huh?” Discord started playing with his beard as he thought of a good response for that. After a few seconds of consideration, he thought up an answer. “You were kinda screaming about them during the attacks, weren't you?” a pair of sunglasses appeared in his hand and he put them on, their red edging greatly conflicting with his face. Trixie wasn't that easily fooled, though. She roared at him, full of anger. Weeks of suffering and doubting her own self just because a stupid lord of chaos dared to torture her? “Trixie doesn't believe you, you mean, good-for-nothing illusion-sending foalish foal- ” “I'm afraid it doesn't matter what 'Trixie' believes in,” he looked at her with both annoyance and mirth. As he snapped his fingers, a rope wrapped itself around her legs, constricting her movements. When she felt her connection to magic wavering, she knew she was completely helpless and at the mercy of the Draconequus. “It would really be a great shame if someone told Montezuma you aren't a goddess while showing off magic much superior and godlike,” he smiled, noticing that Trixie flinched at the very thought. “...Or if he simply teleported back to his realm. You wouldn't like that, would you? Lost in a forest, all alone, hunted by your reflections and wild animals?” his tone became heavily mocking and full of dry irony and scorn. Trixie's fear started overtaking her as tears filled her eyes.“You wouldn't like that, would you?” he repeated. She shook her head, which caused the Draconequus to free her of her constraints. “Yes... Trixie doesn't want it.” “You have to do a simple thing then,” he said, “Simple, yet horrible!” “What do you want me to do?” she asked, fearfully. The Draconequus stripped her of all her dignity, what else did he desire? The lord of chaos looked at her very seriously, all the remains of his jolliness gone and forgotten. He teleported right in front of Trixie. “To put it simply...” he burst into a hearty laugh, “I'll give you all my power for no reason whatsoever!” The Draconequus' maniacal cackle and sudden change in character confused Trixie, and his words made no sense to her, “By the way, I can't believe you actually believed I'd send some strange reflections against you, that's the best joke I've heard in eons! That's completely not my style, haha!” Tears flew from his eyes as he gave a jolly laugh. The draconequus decided to explain why he thought it to be such a ridiculous idea. “I did no such thing, dear! Why would I torment someone so much? I prefer quick jokes, almost instantly revealed!” “Then how do you explain this? And,” she stopped, trying to clarify the 'all my power for free' thing, “Were you serious about giving Trixie all your power?” “Yes, I was! And there's only one thing you have to do to get it!” The Draconequus laughed as he saw the hilarious bemusement on the showmare's face. Surprising ponies was always great fun for the lord of chaos. “And about the reflections, I had nothing to do with them, but I think I can explain it!” “You merely fell on your head or ate a certain kind of flower, fluoris dramaisbestus was its name if I remember correctly?” he pondered for a moment, before continuing “Yes, yes, do you remember a certain green and black flower? Weeks ago?” The magician nodded, still confused. What lies did the Draconequus try to tell her? Was it all but a cruel joke? “Indeed,” Discord summoned a book. “Let me see...” he navigated through the book, until he found the desired page. He showed it to the astonished unicorn. “Dramaisbestus is a flower which most ponies won't feel, for only a loner shall see it's its mean influence. The plant attacks the friendless and forces them to find companions. The greater the power of the loner, the fiercer its influence and the resolve to persuade them to find a friend.” Understanding appeared on Trixie's confused face. She still doubted the book which was possibly a mere illusion from made by Discord, but at the moment the showmare was more interested about omnipotence he offered her. “I understand,” she hastily changed the topic, trying to get Discord's power and be done with it. “What do you want me to do for your power?” The Draconequus laughed. “So much that it's in fact nothing!” after a glance from the unicorn, he clarified:. “Yes, you'll just get it for nothing. Just try and spread some chaos to cheer me up!” “I'm an old man, bored of life, and I want to ensure chaos will be in this land. At the moment I only desire to go back to my statue in that nice garden and sleep.” boredom and fatigue were visible in his old, yet mischievously sparkling eyes. “So, the power is all yours! Congratulations!” He snapped his fingers and with that, he disappeared. Trixie felt a sudden surge of energy as the power formerly belonging to the lord of chaos started flowing through her veins. It felt better than anything the showmare had ever experienced, all the muscles in her body forced her to scream in delight. 'This is the greatest thing ever', she thought. The showmare felt various, minor changes happening to her body, but she didn't care. At the moment, the Pony felt like wreaking some pointless, wonderful chaos. Surprised by the noise caused by her goddess, Montezuma came out of the tent. Trixie didn't know how he couldn't have heard her argument with Discord, but after a second she realized the Draconequus probably used some kind of a spell. Did it matter, anyway? She gained power unimaginable with so little effort. Nothing seemed out of her reach now, and the former showmare knew exactly how to utilize it best. “Bear witness to Trixie's greatness, faithful Montezuma!” she shouted. “Tomorrow, we shall change Equestria for better!” -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- “Catch me if you can!” the pickelhaube hollered at its former owner. The German, completely annoyed by the chase, still tried to catch the enchanted headgear. He couldn't believe that during their drunken period, Lyra could've done such a thing! She didn't understand it herself and refused to acknowledge it as her own deed, but Bismarck knew otherwise. Who else could do it? Mentally, the Iron Chancellor wanted to never let the mint-green Pony drink alcohol again, but he knew they'd probably do it on the next possible occasion anyway. The situation called for it, after all! “Nein! Komm hier!” Bismarck shouted, almost jumping at the levitating black helmet. The annoying chaos-causing piece of metal was trying to drive him to madness! “Come back here, you insolent headgear, or I...!” “Or you what?” the pickelhaube asked. “Or you'll wear me after not using shampoo for a week? Truly, the dandruff will hurt me and my feelings...” the helmet said with mock fear, the eagle on its surface dancing, showing off it's newly mutated wings with pride. “Oh wait, you're balding anyway, and I can fly away whenever you bore me! Which is always, by the way.” Just when Bismarck started to give up and finally deem the hat as a lost cause not worth any further effort, Lyra looked at the helmet disapprovingly. “Could you please come back to your place? That's completely, utterly mean.” “Yes, ma'am!” the pickelhaube spoke, after which it teleported right on Bismarck's head with a loud puff. The old man was surprised. How could the pony accomplish what he tried with both force, shouting and his iron-fisted demeanor with two simple, disapproving sentences? It made no sense for the German. The deformed chaos eagle danced on his black helmet. Lyra couldn't help but smile at the awkward motions of the golden figure. The bird winked at her. Bismarck himself couldn't see the motion, but he knew well the pickelhaube was up to no good. That it managed to amuse Lyra with its vile movements felt like yet another failure for the Iron Chancellor, rubbed into his dignity like salt to a fresh wound. A dead silence prevailed, neither the unicorn nor the German willing to break it. The helmet couldn't bear it, so it introduced itself properly. “My name is Pickelhaube by the way.” “A pickelhaube named Pickelhaube? That's truly genius! What, did you think of it yourself? How could you get such a witty, imagination-stroking, fancy idea?” the Iron Chancellor spoke ironically to the headgear, exhaustion and annoyance visible on his old, wrinkled face. The helmet levitated a bit and magically created chocolate rain, covering the unfortunate German in it. While he tried to remain calm, being humiliated by a levitating, chaos-wreaking helmet in front of an obsessed, mint-green magical unicorn caused him a lot of mental pain. How could such a situation ever take place? “Yup.” Pickelhaube responded, shining with all the colours of a rainbow.