//------------------------------// // Celestia and Shining Armor Have a Chat // Story: Eakin's Rapid Fire Pony Fics // by Eakin //------------------------------// CELESTIA AND SHINING ARMOR HAVE A CHAT Shining Armor stood at attention before the door to Celestia’s study and private office, waiting. He was five minutes early for their standing appointment, which meant that he didn’t expect it to start for a good twenty minutes. In the three months since he’d been promoted to captain, he had never had one of these meetings start on time. He fully expected that the first time he decided to anticipate this and arrive later would be the day she actually was ready for him when she said she would be. So he was five minutes early. It was actually only ten minutes before the door swung open. Shining Armor winced in sympathy as he heard the heavy knobs impact the walls inside the chamber. That particular patch of wall saw a great deal of abuse, and the masons who kept up the castle had wisely decided to specially reinforce it. “This act of tyranny will not stand, Auntie!” said an all-too-familiar voice from inside. “The great noble houses of Canterlot will never tolerate you rescheduling Pizza Party Fridays from 6:00 to 7:00! Some of us have theater tickets!” Prince Blueblood stormed out of the office and stopped in front of the Captain. “You’re in my way,” he said with a dismissive sneer. Shining Armor didn’t have to look around to know there was space enough for three ponies to pass him on either side. “I was waiting to speak to the Princess,” said Shining Armor. He had no intention of stepping aside. The prince scoffed. “Is that why she sent me away? She’s far too patient with a bunch of waste-of-space ponies who fritter away her time when she should be dealing with important matters of state.” Shining Armor affixed a cool glare straight into the Prince’s eyes, which startled him a bit. “Well, Prince Blueblood, I think on that point, we’re both in complete agreement for once.” The Prince returned Shining’s glare for several seconds with considerably more open contempt in his face, but then he blinked. “Well, I’m actually going this way,” he said and turned to walk down another hallway rather than pass the unmoving Shining Armor. “Hurry up with your meeting so you can get back to training your guards in all the ways they can completely fail to protect us in the next major disaster.” Shining Armor didn’t let it show, but that barb actually had a bit more sting to it than most of the Prince’s passive-aggressive little snipes. Before he could reflect on it, the Prince walked away, and the Princess’ perpetually-frazzled assistant Plumed Quill appeared in the doorway. “Good morning, Captain,” she said, “sorry the Princess is running a few minutes behind schedule, it seems-” “Let me guess, something completely unexpected came up that required her immediate attention?” Shining Armor cut in with a smile. Plumed Quill’s stressed out frown turned into a real smile, if a very tired looking one. “Of course, just as expected.” “How’s Solid Stone doing these days?” asked Shining. He’d met Quill’s husband once before at a reception, and made it a point to ask after him when he had a chance. “Oh, it’s sweet of you to ask Shining. Oh, erm, Captain Armor I mean. I hardly see him these days. He’s been working around the clock fixing the damage from... well, you know. She did a lot of damage and now...” “It’s been a big adjustment for all of us,” said Shining. “Yes, well, how’s Cadence?” asked Plumed Quill, determined to turn the conversation back to lighter fare. Shining Armor’s stoic composure cracked the tiniest bit as he winced at the question. “We’re in a tiny bit of a rough patch, I’m afraid,” he said. “What? Nothing serious, I hope. You two are just so adorable together.” “No, not too serious, at least I hope it isn’t. We were on the couch together-” Plumed Quill hold up a hoof to stop him. “Whoa, Captain, I really don’t need those sorts of details about your relationship.” “We weren’t doing anything like that, Plume,” said Shining Armor. Not at that particular moment anyway... “Fine, sorry I interrupted. Go on.” “Well, she asked me if I thought she might be getting a bit heavy.” Actually, the word she had used was ‘chubby’ but Shining decided that there was no harm in softening it up just a little bit. “And you immediately told her no, she’s beautiful exactly the way she is, didn’t you?” asked Quill. “Of course,” said Shining. There was a brief pause. “Well, that’s what I meant...” “Oh, Shining... what did you say?” “I thought it was clever,” said Shining in his own defense. “Worse than I thought, then,” said Plume. “Just tell me what you said. Exact words.” “I said ‘if you ever get really big, you can start calling yourself Mi Amore Credenza,’” said Shining. Plumed Quill just stared at him in horrified silence for several seconds, so he went on. “You see, I thought that if I used humor to defuse the situation she would see that-” “You idiot!” shouted Plumed Quill. “Your fillyfriend asks you if she’s fat and you compare her to furniture?” She hovered a rolled up piece of parchment and started smacking Shining over the head with it. Shining was grateful his full uniform included a metal helmet; Plumed Quill could hit harder with rolled up paper than some of his recruits could with actual weapons. “Ow! I apologized like twenty times afterwards. I even sent her something to say I’m sorry,” said Shining. “You better have. Ugh, stallions. You can all be so clueless sometimes,” said Plumed Quill. “Wait, when you say you sent her something, you don’t mean chocolates right? Tell me you didn’t send chocolates to a mare after you called her fat.” “I never called her fat!” said Shining. “Of course I didn’t send her chocolates. Geez, how dumb would I have to be to send chocolates after that?” he asked. Shining Armor made a mental note to change the order he’d placed with Cadance’s favorite confectioner at the earliest available opportunity. “Well, good. Anyway, the Princess is ready for you so go on in. Try not to compare her sun to a lamp or anything while you’re in there,” she said. Turning back to the office, she led Shining through the receiving room. After a polite knock on the inner door she opened it to reveal Celestia’s office. “Presenting Captain Shining Armor of the royal guard, your highness.” “Thank you, Quill,” said Princess Celestia looking up from the paper she was writing on and gave them both a warm smile. The quill continued to scratch out figures despite her attention being entirely fixed on Shining Armor while Quill pulled the door shut behind her, leaving the two of them alone. “You have a report, Captain?” “Yes, Princess,” said Shining. He pulled a small sheaf of papers from his bag and sent them over to the desk the Princess was seated behind. She graciously accepted them and began to read, the only noises in the room the ticking of an ornate grandfather clock in the corner and the scratching of the quill, which continued to write away. Shining Armor glanced around the room. It was lavishly decorated, and Shining knew several museum curators who would give their right forehoof for the chance to put any one of her many objet d’art on display. It wasn’t just idle appreciation that made Shining examine them each so closely. This was part of the game, or maybe it was a test, or maybe there was no difference between the two where the Princess was concerned. It wasn’t the statue. He wasn’t certain exactly how the marble pony perpetually pouring water from her jug into the small pool below her worked, though he was sure Twilight could have given him a detailed explanation if he asked her. The gently babbling water was always a welcome background noise, as opposed to the much louder babbling of the frustrated nobleponies who came to her seeking redress for often-petty concerns. It wasn’t the Zebrican mask. He was used to that staring over the Princess’ shoulder as he gave his reports, frowning in a creepy and subtly off-putting fashion in sharp contrast to the Princess’ always kind and gentle expression. He glanced down at the lush, thick carpet beneath his hooves. Once it actually had been that, but not this time. When Shining looked  back up he could see that the Princess had already finished the report and was looking at him with an expectant smile. His eyes darted around the room, until they were caught by... “It’s the painting,” he said as he tilted his head over to an oil painting that depicted a famous scene from the Siege of Baltimare, eight hundred years before. In the foreground, a small squad of ponies, evenly divided among the three races, stood at makeshift fortifications holding off a vastly larger force of monsters arrayed against them, while in the background a viewer could make out small figures evacuating the families and shopkeepers. “Last time I was in here, you had a watercolor hanging there.” “Correct,” said Celestia with a smile. “Any guesses on why I might have switched them?” Round two was underway. Shining reviewed what he knew about upcoming events and the special security provisions he’d been asked to make, a hundred little changes that needed attention to keep the kingdom running smoothly. One in particular jumped out at him. “Isn’t the Gryphon ambassador scheduled to meet with you this afternoon?” “Right again,” said the Princess as her smile grew wider. “Yes, the ambassador has an appointment to yell at me for a half hour or so about how outraged his government is about my, and I quote, ‘disruption to the balance of power between our kingdoms.’ I wanted a little something that might remind him that ponies are not so easily cowed.” “Disrupted the... Oh, I see. They mean her,” said Shining. His pleasure at winning the little back and forth they always engaged in at the beginning of these meetings fell away at the implicit reminder of his recent failure. “Yes, her. She has a name you know,” said Celestia. “I apologize. They mean Ni-... They mean Princess Luna,” said Shining. He tried his best to keep any disrespect or bitterness out of his voice as he recalled the way, not two weeks ago, the alicorn had reappeared, effortlessly overcame his most finely trained guards, kidnapped his charge, and plunged their entire kingdom into continuous darkness. The alicorn who the Princess had punished for her actions by making her Shining’s new boss. If Celestia heard the way Shining had nearly slipped in calling Luna by the verboten name, and she almost certainly had, she didn’t mention it. Instead she turned her attention back to the papers before her. “Care to explain this letter of protest from the commander of the Wonderbolts?” she asked. “I wouldn’t presume to put words in her mouth, Princess,” he replied. She waited. “Well... I have heard that your sister-” “Luna,” Celestia interjected. “I’ve heard that Princess Luna is looking to reconstitute her own team of fliers, the Shadowbolts, and she’s begun recruiting from the Wonderbolts to do so.” “Yes, she and I discussed it. They’d be equals, and free to fly in shows together. Also, that reminds me of something else. Ask the Wonderbolt Academy to start expanding their training program, would you? We’ll need to be aggressive at bringing in the next generation of talented fliers if we’re going to have twice as many spots to fill.” “Princess, with all due respect, the Wonderbolts don’t want to work for Princess Luna. Every one of them grew up with the dream of being a Wonderbolt, not a Shadowbolt. They may be equal in your eyes, but to the fliers themselves the name itself goes a long way.” Celestia sighed, a disappointing sound to Shining’s ear. His job was to bring her solutions, not more problems. “Very well, I’ll see what I can do. Perhaps if I offer a higher salary or some additional benefits some of them will change their mind. Please do not mention what you just told me to Princess Luna.” “They won’t fly for a Princess they don’t respect. You swooping in to offer them more money won’t change that.” The words were out of Shining’s mouth before he could think better of them. In truth it wasn’t just the ‘Bolts who felt that way. The look Celestia was giving him now bored into his mind, and he had to turn his head away. Glancing backwards, he reflected that while he couldn’t actually see The Line behind him he knew he’d certainly crossed it. “And why would those ponies think that Princess Luna isn’t worthy of their respect?” asked Celestia. Oh well. In for a bit, in for a buck, thought Shining. The worst she could do was fire him. Out of a cannon. Into the sun. “Because you don’t treat her like a pony we should respect. You upended the system of government we’ve been living under for a thousand years and made her your equal, but you want all of us to handle her with kid’s shoes. If you show up and try to bribe the Wonderbolts to fly for her out of pity, all they’ll see is a pony worthy of that pity. Until she owns up to what she did and faces the criticism of her actions head on, she’ll never be your equal.” Little flickers of suppressed anger danced in Celestia’s eyes as she regarded Shining for several moments. Once again the only sound in the room was the ticking of the clock; even the quill had stopped writing this time. When she spoke again, her voice was level. “Not that I need to justify my actions to you, Captain, but Luna has been through a great deal and has a great deal more she’ll need to face before all is said and done. Trust me when I say I have a reason for my decisions.” “I know you do, Princess. You see the world being mean to her, you see her hurting, you see her struggling and sometimes failing, and you’d give anything to make all of that stop,” said Shining. The pain in Celestia’s face told him he’d struck a nerve. “I know what it’s like to want to protect your little sister.” “Yes, I suppose that you do,” Celestia said quietly. “I can’t though,” said Shining. “I mean I could move to Ponyville with her and lock her up in her library where nothing could hurt her. It would probably take days for her to even notice. She wouldn’t be able to go outside and embarrass herself or get dirty or scrape her knees. But she wouldn’t get any tougher either, and she wouldn’t grow up. Isn’t that why you sent her there in the first place?” Shining stopped, and the look on Celestia’s face made him begin mentally composing his letter of resignation before she chuckled. “It seems I got more than I bargained for when I promoted you. Thank you, Shining Armor. You’ve given me a great deal to reflect on.” Shining Armor might have imagined it, but he thought he saw her come to some sort of a decision right in that moment. Sensing dismissal, he gave a sharp salute and turned to leave. He’d reached the door before Celestia’s voice rang out again. “Oh, Shining Armor. One more thing.” He stopped and returned to standing at attention facing her. “Yes, Princess?” “Mi Amore Credenza? Really?” All the training and discipline couldn’t keep Shining Armor from groaning aloud at the reminder. “You heard about that?” “Straight from Cadence herself. Not exactly your finest hour, Captain.” “No, not really. All I meant was-” “I understand what you meant, Shining. So will Cadence, after a few more days. She’s hooves over heels for you, even at a time like this.” Shining Armor couldn’t help but blush. “I feel the same way about her.” “How long have you two been dating, exactly?” He wondered why the Princess would have such a sudden interest in his love life. Cadence always spoke of Celestia with admiration, like a second mother to her after she had ascended to princesshood. Princess Celestia had taught her everything she knew about the ins and outs of proper royal behavior. “Officially, we’ve been together a little over three years now. Unofficially, well, I guess since the first time I walked her home after she fillysat for Twiley. Ahem, for Twilight.” “Ah yes, that’s right. So, when are you going to marry her?” Shining was floored. His boss, sovereign ruler, and surrogate mother figure to his beloved was asking him a deeply personal question and he didn’t want to imagine what the consequences would be if he got the answer wrong. “Surely you must have thought about it.” Shining nodded his head vigorously. “Yes, of course. I mean, we’ve talked about it a few times and... well actually I’ve been thinking about it a lot more over the last few weeks since I became Captain, but there’s always so much to do, and then everything happened with Princess Luna, and it’ll take me months to save up enough to buy a ring that’s... well... to afford a ring that won’t look chintzy next to a pony as beautiful as her.” Celestia smiled. “An admirable sentiment, but I think Cadence would rather you spend time with her than work however much overtime you would need to purchase such a thing. Luckily, I believe I have a solution to both of your concerns.” Shining heard a drawer open up under her desk and a small jewelry box rose to the surface of her desk. “About five hundred years ago, there was a stallion who was, well, he was rather enthralled with me despite my best efforts to discourage his advances. Not that he wasn’t a wonderful pony, but my position comes with certain... limitations. Perhaps having Luna back will change that someday, but at the time I could not return his affections.” “So what happened?” asked Shining. His eyes didn’t leave the box for an instant. “He was a jeweler, you see, and he swore up and down that he would make me a ring that would change my mind and make me agree to marry him. He spent decades working on it, and in the end he became ill and died without ever proposing. I thought that was the end of it until the executor of his estate appeared in my court and told me he’d left a certain something to me personally in his will. Then he gave me this.” Celestia opened up the box and Shining Armor’s jaw dropped. Inside was the most phenomenal piece of jewelry he had ever set his eyes on. It was a platinum band encrusted with flawless, rose-pink tourmaline. Fantastic though they were, they couldn’t hold a candle to what sat at the center of the setting. Sparkling there was a single humongous diamond, carved into the shape of a heart. “Princess... this is... I can’t-” “You certainly can. This ring was made to steal the heart of a Princess. It’s time for it to fulfill that purpose rather than just collecting dust in my drawer, don’t you think? Take it, along with my blessing. I can’t tell you exactly what the future holds, but I am certain Cadence will need a strong, compassionate stallion who will support and advise her through whatever troubles she may face. I can think of nopony better suited for the task than you.” Celestia pushed the ring toward Shining, who cradled the box in his hooves and tilted it back and forth as if something so perfect could only be an illusion or a trick of the light. “I don’t know what to say, Princess, it’s gorgeous.” “Just give her a few weeks to get over the credenza thing before you ask.” Celestia smiled at the stunned unicorn. “Let me be the first to say congratulations, and remind you that if you break her heart I have a dungeon with a number of vacant cells at my disposal.” Panic filled Shining Armor’s eyes. “I’m kidding, Captain. But really, don’t mess this up. That’s an order.” Shining snapped back to attention at the word ‘order.’ “Yes ma’am! I won’t ma’am! Thank you ma’am.” “If there’s nothing else, you’re dismissed. I need to discuss some things with my sister before I make any further decisions on these reports.” Shining Armor tucked the precious box away in his things and opened the door to the office. He walked back out into the hallway in a daze. Plumed Quill said something to him, but the words never reached his brain. It was too busy with the first draft of his wedding vows.