//------------------------------//
// The Man-Cat Loses His Balls 
// Story: Felanthroid 
// by Zytharros 
//------------------------------//

I woke up to the sound of my alarm that morning. As usual, it rang bright and early at ten to five, just before the sun began to illuminate the sky in a brilliant sea-blue hue. On cue, I reached up over the alarm and swatted downward. Two odd things happened at that time: first, the hand hit pillow; second, my face was brushed with an arm of fur.

Damn clock, I thought. I brought a hand to my face and brushed a cat away. "Go away, Snarles."

Instantly, sharp strikes of pain wrought their damning path across my face. I woke instantly to our forest green bedroom with a snarl. This snapped my wife awake, and immediately she flipped over. Upon locking eyes with me, she froze.

"Stupid cat scratched me!" I said.

I saw the look of panic on her face. How did she get so tall?

"Uh, Rosebud?" I asked.

I saw anger. Sadness. Surprise.

"Rose?"

Then, a hand sent me careening off the bed and into the clothes with a painful yelp.

"Get away! Where did you come from? Where's Zytharros?"

"Rosebud! It's me! Don't you recogni-AIE!"

I leapt away from a second swing. In an attempt to escape, I naturally went for a two-legged run and fell flat on my face. I didn't have time to think about the pain, and tried scrambling to my feet again, with the same result. I understood innately, but without any time to truly register what led me to this deduction, that I was now some kind of four-legged creature. New knowledge in hand, er, paw as it were, I bolted past a few doors down a long corridor for the living room as my wife charged after me as fast as she could. I ran into the two-storey cat condo at the far corner of the house, located by the couch across from the TV, and came face-to-face with our butch gray-and-white cat Snarles.

"Get the fuck away from me, you strange mouse-hole!" she screeched.

I howled in panic as I was once again nearly struck with a clawed paw. I deftly dodged a kick as I passed between my wife's legs and noted the front door was open at the same time. I charged for it and broke out into the cold summer morning, leaving my home and family behind. I stopped at the top of the ramp on the deck as Rosebud closed the door behind me and gave me a dark scowl.

"Rosebud, it's me!" I cried. "It's Zytharros!"

I began pawing at the wooden door in desperation, but there was no answer. I tried for five minutes, doing everything I could, to get her attention, everything from crying as loud as I could to running into the door. I even tried acrobatically opening the door from the top of the bannister lining the deck, a mis-targeted wayward leap into a potted plant telling me 'fat chance, bozo' instantly. A few seconds of silence later, there were only tears, both mine and hers, the tears of two lovers torn apart by circumstances beyond our control. My ears flattened as I realized what was going through her mind.

She had always possesed a fear of being alone and abandoned. Although I was right there, I could not console her and tell her I was alright. She would not pay attention to a cat-perso-

My thought process froze as I came upon my reflection in the storm door's glass. I examined myself - big, fluffy body, eyes that looked like a sarcastic witch would be at home, a purple bow, and a jewel encrusted collar.

I gasped as I whirled around and noticed a distinct lack of gear. I panicked. I wasn't prepared for this. I wasn't interested. I didn't want to be anything but human. Here I was, though, in the body of a lush-furred feline. Not just a feline, but Rarity's prize cat.

I had become Opalescence.

Just as I became stunned from that revelation, among a few others that had crept into my mind for the briefest of seconds, a deep purr emerged from behind me. As I turned around a gray tabby of equal size to myself approached me. His form was strong. His poise was perfect. His cathood was ready. He was simply named Gray. And he was a playstud.

"Well hi there, pussymoney."

...Oh, fuck me...