//------------------------------// // I Sneeze You // Story: Sneezing Luna Doting Tia // by Wasabi-beans //------------------------------// The Gates of Tartarus was an unearthly portal with two massive doors, that when fully opened, could easily fit through an Ursa Major. It bordered Equestria's mountain ranges and the dark forest regions of the Badlands, thusly located in a secret, hidden location, far beyond anybody who cherished their life. However, its faithful, if slightly scatterbrained gatekeeper, the massive three-headed Cerberus, was nowhere to be seen. But worst of all, the Gates were slightly opened. A tiny rustle was heard by nobody from the edge of the forest region. And out galloped Trixie, panting and running, with her hat and cape in tatters. She skidded to a halt in front of the Gates and screamed at the thundering noise from the forest region that got closer and closer. "THE GREAT AND EXHAUSTED TRIXIE DOES NOT HAVE ANYMORE BANANAS, YOU THREE-HEADED NINNY! STOP CHASING TRIXIE!!" And out popped the great Cerberus, panting and three tongues flopping out, happy to see his new friend and giver of the yummy yellow sticks. He liked sticks, especially when they're edible. Trixie screamed again, and ran off to the Equestria's mountain ranges, equally as dangerous as the Badlands. "ALL TRIXIE WANTED TO DO WAS TO CHECK IF TWILIGHT SPARKLE ACTUALLY CAME HERE, NOT BE CHASED BY A GIANT MUTT!! AAARGHHHH...!!!" His new friend's screams excited him even further; this was much more fun than when his purple friend played fetch with him with a ball for a bit, and then merely teleported him back to the Gates of Tartarus. At least she gave him the ball. He would've pursued his new blue friend but he heard something. Something that should not be out in this world that he guards. And Cerberus saw from the distance, came the Windigos. Their tumbling and panicked whinnies were a sign that their momentum was not their own. He looked at the Gates, and all three heads gasped that it was slightly opened. The Windigos must have forced themselves out when he wasn't here! The left head looked up again, and could see that the Windigos were tumbling straight for the Gates. He barked at the other two, and Cerberus began to pull the Gates wider and wider until it almost fully opened. Cerberus braced himself, and the Frozen Herd, along with their blizzard, rocketed straight into the Gates. Cerberus began to close the Heavy Gates shut, but a Windigo tried to slip out. He quickly jumped up to bite its ethereal tail and flung it back in with the rest. The Windigos from behind the Gates looked at him with almost pleading eyes, but Cerberus's three mouths growled, which frightened the scared Windigos deeper back in, until Cerberus finally closed the Gates shut. Cerberus shook his body; he did not like the Windigos. He sniffed the air for his blue friend; all three heads whimpered when he caught no scent of her, not even the scent of the tasty yellow sticks. His minds were put to ease however, when he saw his ball given by his purple friend. He played with it, and all was well. At a later time, in a location probably impossible to pinpoint... Spoken Softly could not remember where he was before this. But he was now lying on a vast field and he was looking up. And what a sight it was. On one half was the night, serene and starry. But by his right shoulder, was the day, perfectly sunny and warm. And in between was a little twilight, looking a little awkward and neurotic, but beautiful nonetheless. He noticed a huge red stallion with an apple cutie mark right beside him, on the borders of where the day cast the field with light. He noticed that on his side of the field was a moonlit night. The red stallion continued looking up, but blinked, and finally turned to his left and looked straight onto Spoken's face. His eyes was wide in surprise, almost alarmed. Spoken looked at him shyly, his pink mane hiding parts of his face. "Um... hello?" greeted Spoken. The stallion cocked his head in confusion and said, "Fluttershy?" "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not her," Spoken answered politely, "I know I get mistaken often for her as we both have the same mane and fur color, but I'm not her," The red stallion gave a smile, and mysteriously, a sigh of relief, "Eeyup," "I... I'm Spoken Softly, if that helps," "I'm Big McIntosh," he replied. This 'ere pony must be some Jazz singer or someth', he thought. And he continued admiring his side of the sky, "Nice weather we're havin'," "Oh yes, definitely," answered Spoken a little more confidently. He found Big McIntosh to be nice and quiet. "So, why's your side of the sky night and my side as purty as day?" asked Big McIntosh. Spoken looked up at the perfect skyline(s). He gave a brief though before asking, "Hmm... by any chances, do you know Princess Celestia?" "Eeyup," answered Big McIntosh briefly, "Not closely, but ah' met her once in a dream. Princess Luna was there too, matter of fact. And mah' sister meets 'er often enough. She's one of them Elements o' Harmony," "I see, I see," thought Spoken, "If Princess Luna was there, then that means the Celestia you saw was the real one... may I ask something a little personal, Big McIntosh?" "Ah' don't see why not," chirped Big McIntosh in a friendly manner. "By any chances, are you in love with the Sun Princess?" Big McIntosh looked at him in surprise. Then his own cogs started turning, and smirked, "Are y'all in love with the Nite' Princess, then?" Spoken blushed sheepishly. "Yer' a brave stallion," complimented Big McIntosh. "Oh no, I'm not brave," replied Spoken, "I actually work as Princess Luna's personal assistant, so I know her personally," "Yer' a stallion that's lost his mind," retorted Big McIntosh. Spoken chuckled from the deep chasm that is his diaphragm, "She's actually quite nice once you get to know her. I would know, I got charmed rather quickly by her, She's so strong and so proud..." "Princess Luna once came to celebrate Nightmare Night where ah' live," explained Big McIntosh, "Ah' know yer' right," "Wow... it's rare to find a stallion who does, frankly," marveled Spoken in quiet amazement. "And ta' answer 'yer question: eeyup," and Big McIntosh sighed, "Ahm' in love with the Sun Princess, in spite livin' miles away, she bein' a Princess, an' me just a farmpony," "Lemme' guess: but she doesn't know your feelings for her?" prodded Spoken further. "Eeyup," "Same here," "...but, don't cha' work fer' Princess Luna?" "...My Princess is famously, umm, how should I put this nicely... all work and no play makes Luna a very, very thick-headed mare?" Big McIntosh openly chuckled at that one, "Eeyup. We're both two 'lil stallions in love with the two most unattainable mares in Equestria," "Eeyup," said Spoken, and they both sighed at the same time. "So, ahm' guessin' we're in some shared dream?" inquired Big McIntosh. "This must be the case," said Spoken, "Shared dreams only occur when the two strong feelings of two ponies are properly aligned in such a way as to be intrinsically linked with one another, in order to give some resolution to the two ponies," "So, what yer' sayin' is that yer' how I feel... bro?" Spoken nodded, "Yes indeed. I know how you feel as well... bro," "So..." "So..." "Are we supposed ta' be givin' each other a 'I know that feel bro' hug?" "Oh, well, yes, I think that would be the logical outcome out of all of this, Big McIntosh," "Eeyup," "Eeyup, and thank you for knowing how I feel... bro," "Thank y'all for knowin' how ah' feel... bro," And they turned shyly to one another, slowly spooned each into a hug, right above the twilight zone, and patted each other sympathetically, if not a little awkwardly, on their respective backs, to know that feel bro. THE END... BRO.