//------------------------------// // Chapter IV: Iron Mare Match // Story: Pony Und Panzer! // by Diceman //------------------------------// Chapter IV:Iron Mare Match "Bah wheres my eyeliner?" Celestia fumbled around her makeup cabinet, frantically searching for the right color eyeliner for a oncoming meeting. "Ahh here it is." Celestia picked up a black looking pencil object and heated it up with her magic. After a few moments she ran it around the sides of her eyes and set it down. Celestia stood there for a moment, looking in the mirror before rolling her eyes in frustration. "Needs more red. I wish my maidens weren't busy." Celestia peered out of her room down the hall. Sure enough, most of the staff were on high alert. Her hoof maidens were all busy carring around food and decorations on their backs, occasionally getting help from the local guards. Celestia pulled her head back into her room and looked at herself in the mirror once more. Sighing deeply she turned her head to a lump of deep night that was on her bed. "If only you were awake little sister, this makeup business wouldn't be so difficult, nor would this emergency meeting." Luna rolled over, yawned and went back to sleep. "Oh well, at least you find my bed comfy." Celestia picked up some powder and brushed her cheeks. "This will have to do I suppose." Celestia looked back at her sleeping sister. "Really wish you were awake to help me, I could use your imposing stature to my advantage." Celestia exited her room, immediately three hoof maidens came to her side, asking if she needed anything. "No, no. You are all busy enough without worrying about me. Just make sure the palace is decorated proper and the feast is ready." "Yes Princess, as you command." The three said together as they bowed and went their separate ways. No sooner had the hoof maidens left her side did a guard walk up to her and salute. "Sorry to impose your highness, I have the captains security report right here with me." The guard pulled out a clipboard and handed it to Celestia. Celestia began flipping the pages, barely even bothering to read them until she came across something on the side. "Four hundred first and second division centurions? Isn't that a bit excessive?" "No ma'am. We have to show both security and power to our visitors. If we look weak and unprepared they may use it as an intimidation tactic." Celestia rolled her eyes and muttered 'very well' under her breath as she continued to look though the various status reports around the castle. On the second to last page she noticed a crash report and one of the recently replaced sugar windows by the mail landing being broken and replaced for the cost of six bits. Celestia looked up at the guard with a grin on her face. "Derpy?" Celestia asked. "Derpy." The guard replied with a blush on his face. Celestia giggled. "I guess replacing that entire landing with harmless sugar glass was a good idea. I may not like her clumsiness but I don't want to see her get hurt." Celestia's horn glowed as a big rubber sun stamp appeared next to her. Celestia stamped the report to give her approval for the expense, the guard looking at her strangely. "I beg your pardon your highness but, shouldn't we dock Derpy's wages for the replacement glass?" "No. As much as someponies dislike the Equestrian mail carrier service it employs ponies that would otherwise feel useless and rejected for something they were born with. Derpy may be clumsy but she's out there everyday, rain snow or shine delivering that mail, albeit not always accurately." Celestia turned the page and put her stamp of approval on the bottom of the expenses and troop movement document. She quickly handed it back to the guard whom tucked it into one of his saddlebags. "Never underestimate those that may seem odd. Everypony has their day in the sun, hers will come sooner rather than later." The guard saluted Celestia and went about his business, pulling out another clipboard and checking it off as he walked. Celestia walked down the hall and into the dining room where she intended to hold the meeting later that night. The table was decorated with the finest in silverware, the seats were walnut with gold accents and red satin cushions. The curtains adorning the walls were of the highest quality silk, gold and silver Pegasi depictions interwoven into them. The marble floor was so polished that she could see her face in it and the dishes for the evening were already arriving and being set on magical heating plates on the table. *grrwwwl* Celestia looked down, her face beet red. "Oh my, I forgot breakfast...and lunch." Celestia looked up at the clock. She could just ask for something from the main kitchens to tide her over but they were already stressed out with the preparations. She could just wait until the meeting started but that was around five hours from now. "What to do, what to do..." "Oh!" Celestia remembered that most of the staff ate at a cafeteria on the first floor. She had completely forgotten that her palace had a cafeteria as she had her meals delivered to her every day. "I wonder what they are having today?" Celestia walked back out into the hall, stopping one of the local maids if she knew what they were having in the cafeteria today. "Princess, err, ma'am." The maid seemed terrified by being directly addressed by the her. "T-they are having carrot casserole and spicy salmon today." Salmon? I don't remember anyone on my main cooking staff ever cooking meat based dishes... Celestia thought to herself. "Thank you very much. I think I will partake of the casserole." And maybe the salmon too. I never actually tried it but their is a first time for everything. Celestia nodded at the maid and walked down the hall toward the stairs down to the first floor. The maid drew a breath of relief when a guard stopped her. "You...did tell the princess that Red was on duty today, right?" The maid looked as if she had just seen a ghost, the color from her face quickly fading. "S-should I run and tell her?" The guard laughed. "Oh no, with any luck we will get some entertainment out of this AND get Red fired in the process. Now where did I set my camera?" *** Celestia made her way down the spiral stairs and into the hall leading to the cafeteria. Along the way she saw a few of the senate members talking amongst themselves, some of them breaking out of their groups to bow respectfully at Celestia. As she made her way into the cafeteria she could see that, aside from a few of the laundry mares; she was the only other pony there for food. She walked up to what looked like a salad bar and began to browse the selection. There were the typical collage of normal salad toppings but oddly enough even a few rarities, things typically not grown in Equestria. Vegetables like black radish, bottle gourd, daikon and even yucca chips. Such an amazing selection. There is stuff here that none the royal kitchen cooks have even seen. I wonder how the head chef down here gets such exotic produce? Celestia seemed lost in thought and awe at the titanic selection before her. Some of this foods she hadn't tasted in ages, some of them so exotic that even she couldn't get them when she wanted. Celestia's train of thought was broken when a flash of red walked by the glass on the other side of the bar. Looking up Celestia noticed a mare walk by, she had a deep red coat, a night black mane tied in a ponytail and cutie mark that looked like the shape of a hurricane. On her head was a chefs hat with a gold ribbon tied around the center, signifying that she was the head chef. "Excuse me." Celestia said. The mare seemed rather busy but waved her hoof to show that she heard her. "I would like to know if you have any more carrot casserole." Celestia asked as she browsed the bar, unable to find anything listed as such. The mare's tail flung to the side in an aggravated fashion. "Listen here ya wonky secretary. I told Senator Carmine that we were out earlier. And no I don't know how to deal with food sickness he got from celery surprise. I told the buffoon not to eat it cold but noo." The mare seemed to not even bother turning around to address Celestia directly. "Ya had to take it away in a doggie bag and not heed me warnings. If you ask me he-" The mare turned around, her eyes went wide briefly but she quickly recovered walking up to the bar to look Celestia in the eye. Celestia stood there for a moment, not knowing exactly what to do. The red mares deep blue eyes practically digging into her. "If yer ere to fire me on Carmines request then do it quick. I suggest ye call the ambulance though becuase when I'm done with that snobby little..." "I'm , not here to fire you." Celestia felt something she hadn't felt in awhile. At first it felt alien but she soon put her hoof on exactly what the feeling was; intimidation. This fiery mare was making her feel small, something she hadn't experienced in a very long time. The two looked at one another for a few more minutes until the red mare broke eye contact and took her hat off. "I'm sorry Celestia, it's been a rough day. I didn mean to bite yer head off. Let me introduce myself, I'm Red, the head chef of the cafeteria, but everyone calls me Red Typhoon, after me cutie mark." Celestia didn't know how to quite handle this situation. It had been so long since a pony had not treated her with the up most respect. She a fiery all right. I wonder how someone like her was even hired as head chef. At least she apologized... "Don't worry about it Red, everyone has bad days." Red put her chefs hat back on and turned around to pull some rolls out of the oven, no mittens, just bare teeth. She quickly set them on a nearby counter before turning back to Celestia with a smile on her face and a shocked expression on Celestia's. "So what can I do for...why the funny looks? Do I have something in me teeth?" Red looked at her reflection on the nearby polished metal oven before turning back to Celestia, a confused expression on her face. "H-how did you do that? Celestia asked. "Do what?" Celestia pointed to the pan with the crescent rolls on it. "You pulled that out with no mittens, just your bare teeth." Red looked at the pan and laughed. "That be nothin, I do that all the time. Doesn't even bother me." "But...how?" Celestia asked, perplexed. "It be part of my special talent. Not only am I a typhoon at cooking but it comes with the perk of having high heat resistance. I can grab things as hot as six hundred degrees without so much as a minor burn." Red picked up the pan with her teeth again and moved it to another shelf to cool. "I almost want to say that's a supernatural talent. I never heard of a pony having such a thing, I mean maybe if you were a unicorn and fabricated some kind of anti-heat spell then sure but-" *Grrrwwooll* Celestia blushed. In all the excitement she had forgotten she hadn't had anything to eat at all today. "I see you be hungry. Is there anything I can get ya?" Celestia remembered that today's special was carrot casserole and spicy salmon, something she had never tried before. "Do you have anymore carrot casserole left by chance or can you make a batch up real quick if you don't?" "No can do lassie. The casserole always goes fast and it takes me hours to prepare it. On top o that I be out of the spices I need for it. My garden only grows so fast you know." "Oh, wait? Your garden?" Celestia asked, puzzled. "Ya didn't think all these exotic veggies and fruits were imported did ya? The budget we have down here taint that deep lassie." Red turned around and pulled a black box off the top shelf above the oven. "Tell ya what, It's about time for my lunch break as is, how about we share a drink together?" Red opened up a box to reveal a large bottle filled with some kind of brass colored fluid, most likely of alcoholic origin. Celestia looked at the bottle for a moment. It was tad unorthodox for her to be drinking so early, even more so with the meeting a few hours from now. "Sure but, only a glass or two." Red arched her head to the side? "A glass? Okay, hope you can handle yer liquor." Red swung her head and tossed her hat onto a nearby hook. "Get yerself some food, I'll be with ye in a moment." Celestia nodded and picked up her plate. As she began to put some of the more exotic vegetables onto her plate she noticed the spicy salmon dish on the far end of the bar. As she got closer to it something seemed to overtake her. As disgusting as the thought of eating the flesh of another creature was, the fresh lemon and herb smell coming from the fish was mouth watering. Celestia picked up the spatula in the pan containing the fish and cut off a small piece for herself, setting it on her plate. I hope no pony saw that, imagine the rumors if they saw me eating meat. Celestia looked around the cafeteria. The only pony that seemed to even be remotely interested in her presence was a lone spectacled maid in the corner enjoying what she figured to be tea or coffee. Celestia walked over to the table closest to the salad bar and sat down. At first she moved her fork to try the salad she had made on her plate but the salmon on the corner kept calling to her, daring her to try it. "I guess a nibble couldn't hurt." Celestia cut a small piece of the fish off with her fork and slowly moved it to her mouth when something caught her attention. Sitting right across from her was Red Typhoon, watching eagerly as the food came closer to Celestia's lips. "Don't worry lassie, I won't tell no one. Try it, you will love it." Celestia nodded and put the fish in her mouth. At first the taste was that of the strong lemon and spicy variety but not soon after she began to chew it did she notice it had other intriguing attributes as well. It had a slightly oily taste to it but not overpowering. The meat itself was very soft and had a creamy texture to it, almost as if she was chewing a half melted marshmallow without any sugar in it. After getting a good idea of what the flavor was like she swallowed the little bit of fish flesh. Oddly enough it had a slightly flaky but smooth texture as it went down her throat. "So...how was it?" Red asked excitedly. "It's was...interesting. It feels like I'm eating the combination between a half melted marshmallow and a spicy cracker. I'll think ill have another bite." Celestia picked up the remaining forkful of fish on her plate and put it in her mouth. Unlike last time the fish seemed less odd and easier to enjoy. "So, is it to yer liking?" Red said while setting down a tall glass for Celestia and a short shot glass for herself, adding a few ice cubes to Celestia's glass as well. "It's actually quite good when you get used to it but I have a question that's been burning in the back of my mind. Why is the cafeteria serving meat based dishes?" Red put the black box on the table, pulling out the bottle of brass colored fluid from before. "A couple reasons actually. A few of Carmines associates from Cloudsdale are griffons, quite a few of the flight school members are as well. Not to mention the occasional delegate from Stalliongrad." Red pulled the cork off the top of the bottle and began pouring the drink into Celestia's glass, filling it about halfway. "Griffons tend to be the customers that request meat the most. Originally they requested sheep but I didn't think that would blow over to well with the rest of the staff and patrons, including that wool seller sheep fella, So we compromised on fish." Red stared at Celestia's half full glass for a moment. "Ya sure ye want a full glass?" "Yes I am sure. By the way, what exactly is this?" "Oh, it be fire brandy, one hundred and sixty proof if I remember correctly." Red replied with a smile. "Not having any second thoughts are ye?" Celestia stared at the glass for a moment. It was obvious that Red was testing her fortitude and resolve but couldn't understand why. Was she trying to test her toughness, her personality or her ability to mingle with 'common folk' as the more snobby nobles called them. "Nope." Celestia picked up the glass with her magic and held it in the air. "Cheers!" Celestia tilted her head back and with one tilt of the glass the entire contents were gone. *Buuurp* "Excuse me." Celestia said, blushing. Red typhoons mouth just hung open for a moment or two. "I- but" She seemed to not even fathom how she managed to down so much high quality alcohol in one shot, a fact that amused Celestia greatly. "Lassie, you just downed enough brandy to drop a full grown stallion. My oh my, I guess the Princess can handle her drinks after all." Red took a shot of her own glass and set it down. "I might even have to challenge ye to a drinkin contest some time." "That won't be necessary. Alicorn biology is quite a different story from other ponies, the reason I can handle my alcohol so well is becuase I have a powerful liver to deal with it. I can still get drunk but it would take much more than an entire bottle of that brandy to do so." Celestia began to dig into her salad when the idea struck her. "Hey, can you make two to three more of those salmon dishes for me? I have a meeting tonight with many important griffons and a meal tailored to them might make them less difficult to deal with." Red got up out of her chair and shook her head. "I canna help ya there, I'm the only one on shift tonight and I still have the entire royal legion to feed in a few hours." Celestia thought for a moment. She could just order some of the spare royal chefs to handle the evening cooking in the cafeteria. That would free Red up for the afternoon. "I'll...have a few of the spare chefs from the royal kitchens to cover for you." Red rolled her eyes. "Good luck with that. most of them snobs think themselves too high and mighty to ever touch cafeteria work." Celestia laughed. "Oh, I know they won't like it. The workload down here must be brutal compared to upstairs. However, they are mostly loyal, they will complain but honestly I doubt any of them have as much cooking experience as you do with this dish." Celestia nodded toward the salad bar and all the exotic goods contained within. "I bet ninety percent of them never even seen half of what you have down here, let alone cooked with any of it." Red nodded. "I know that, yer royal cooks are only trained in regional foods. They never traveled around to learn anything else." "Then why are you down here with such exotic experience and not upstairs?" Celestia asked. "Dropped outta cookin school. Didn like the company the place kept. After travelin for a few years I tried to get a job here as a royal cook but..." Red sighed. "I needed graduation credentials from the school I dropped out of." "I'm sorry to hear that." Celestia said. "Nah, don worry about it. I like my job down here. Ya meet all kinds of interestin characters." Red beamed proudly. "I guess I understand. So you will you make those dishes for me tonight if I get someone to cover for you? I promise you will have full control of the kitchen while you make your dishes." Celestia remembered her head chef wouldn't like that. "Errr, or at the very least a corner where you can work undisturbed." Red put her hoof under her chin. "Alright then, I'll do it. I'll get my things and meet them up there in the kitchens...right after we finish this meal." Celestia and Red sat there, chatting between each other while they ate for the next hour or so until Celestia stood up and stretched her wings. "I better get upstairs and tell the kitchen to expect you, as well as getting all the proper greeting ceremony stuff out of the way." "I'll be up there as soon as I'm relived down here." Celestia nodded and stepped into the hall, calling a guard to her who seemed to oddly have a camera over his neck. "I want you to head up to the kitchens and tell them that Red Typhoon will be preparing a dish for the meeting tonight.She is to have at least a part of the kitchen to herself, this is very important." "Yes ma'am!" The guard saluted and flew out a nearby window. "With any luck tonight will be great. I may even be able to convince them to call off this silly faux war if I play My cards right." *** Red Typhoon gathered up her things. The baking pan she cooked things with, her own personal spices for the meal and a small bag of the more exotic veggies from the salad bar. Taking a quick look around her kitchen she turned to the gold-sashed royal chef sent down to relieve her. "Now, don't be overdoing it for dinner. The recipe's for my thunder melon burritos is on the card index in the back and I suggest you don't try anything too fancy with any of the exotic vegetables in the bar. That goes double for the yucca, I mean it, if ya try anything fancy with the yucca your gonna regret it." The chef shined his hoof on his sash and rolled his eyes. "I'm sure a expert like myself can handle lowly cafeteria grudge work." He said in an annoyingly posh manner as he smiled. "Now, run along and let the real professional deal with this." Red wanted nothing more than to kick the smug right off the royal chefs silly french moustachioed face but remembered that above all else she had a job to do. She could stomp a mud hole in him later when she had more time. "Alrighty then Oh so powerful royal cook, I leave this cafeteria in your capable hooves." The royal cook smiled and sent back what Red could only discern as a flirting wink at her. Uggg, as if I would ever do anything with such a pansy stallion. Red thought to herself as she left the cafeteria. Red made her way into the hall and up the stairs until she met the door guard a couple floors up. "I be here on the princesses request to make her a meal for her meetin, let me pass." The guard nodded respectfully and moved out of the way but before Red could open the door she heard a voice shouting on the other side. "I can't believe it. Celestia's going to lets some low class cafeteria reject into MY kitchen of the gods?" Yelled a voice that Red somehow heard before. "Sorry head chef but no pony here knows how to make salmon aside from the limited experience with it that you had in the past." Said another voice. "I don't get it. How does some lowlife cafeteria chef know so much about something so...so?" "Forbidden?" on of the chefs asked meekly. "No, disgusting." The head chef replied with a growl. Red knew she had heard that voice before but she couldn't exactly put her hoof on where. "Oh well, best get this over with." Red pushed open the door and walked in. As she closed the door behind her she could feel the stares of everypony in the kitchen on her. As she turned around she met nose to nose with another pony. I was a mare, around the same age as her with turquoise eyes, a blond mane with emerald earrings. Her coat was a muted blue-white and her sash was gold lined with diamonds. On her head was the head chefs hat, a large ruby in the center and gold trim all the way down the sides. It wasn't this mare's regalia that gave her away, it was her eyes. The eyes she had met once a long time ago. "Blossoms Marigold!" "Red Typhoon!" The two mares stood there, face to face, each one growling. "So, I guess Celestia lets filthy 3rd rate chefs in her employ as well as the best of the best. I guess dropping out of cooking school wasn't such a good idea was it mutt?" Marigold said snidely as she backed up. "I'm glad I dropped out of that school. gave me time to travel and actually learn how to cook instead of the perpetual circle jerk you and yer cohorts constantly did." Red replied. "Ha! As if we needed to tell ourselves we were the best. You just couldn't handle the complexity of the schools cooking, that's all." Marigold flicked her ponytail to the side. "I wasn't seduced by the dark side of cooking. Cilantro, tango Salsa, raspberry vinaigrette, all of it too sharp for most ponies to even enjoy properly yet they had no problem throwing it into everything. If I wanted to eat something sharp that no pony would enjoy I would chew nails, preferably to spit them into the coffin that is your career ya slimy worm." "Tch, dark side? What have you been watching some kind of silly sci-fi film?Whats next you going to tell me your my mother?" "No, I was talkin about the last time you took a bath. Ya see, dark side is a euphemism for your fla-" "How dare you!" Marigold stomped right up to Red's face, her face contorted in rage. "I have a way to settle this once and for all, loser has to wash all dishes from both kitchens for a month." "Lassie, If your thinkin what I think yer thinkin then I gladly accept. Iron mare match it is." Red put both her dukes up, ready to punch out Marigold's lights. "That's iron chef match you unsophisticated dolt. This isn't wrestling." Marigold said as she backed away, clearly not ready for a brawl. "Oh, that. Doesn't matter. I get to choose the dish of choice since I'm up here to make something griffons be fond of on Celestia's orders. Which mean little miss Marigold will be makin fish tonight, if I remember right you lot were never trained in preparing meat." "Tch, even a foal can follow a recipe card" Marigold clapped her hooves together sharply. "I want a timer set up for two hours, fresh salmon for both sides and all my top chefs assisting me on my side. Red, you get the old wood burning stove and ummm...." Marigold looked at her staff, intentionally trying to pick out an assistant for Red that would undoubtedly be horrible. "Ahh yes. I have a perfect assistant for you." Marigold walked though the crowd of cooks and picked up a something and put her on her back. She walked back though the crowd, her assistant cooks holding hooves to their mouths as to not laugh hysterically. "You know Marigold, a sack of potatoes doesn't count in this contest. You know the rules say I must have at least one assitan-" Marigold let whatever was on her back hop down. "This is your assistant. The rules state the challenger needs one but does not state the age." Standing next to Blossoms Marigold was a young unicorn filly. She had a light purple coat, a two toned blond mane and tail; the outside being slightly darker than the center, light gold eyes and a little chefs hat with a green ribbon on the side. "A filly?" Red asked. "Yes Red, a filly. She is here on a summer program to learned the duties of the castle to get credits and bits added to her collage scholarship. Too bad the little runt has no chance...not if her mother is any indication of her ability anyways." The filly gave a mean look at Marigold before walking forward and introducing herself. "Hello ma'am. I am Dinky, I was told I was to be your assistant for some kind of cooking contest?" Red stared at the little filly for a second and then at Marigold. "You know what Marigold, I thought you couldn't get any worse than when I knew you back in school but this...this is just terrible. Using a filly to ensure a solid chance of victory is just down right despicable." "I'm sorry Red I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am, start the timer. We will use the griffons as the judges when they arrive. Enjoy you 'assistant' Red." Blossoms Marigold laughed along with the other cooks as she went to her side of the kitchen, leaving Red and Dinky with a out of date stove and equipment. "Ma'am err..." "Call me Red wee one." "Red ma'am, what does this contest entail. I may not be much help but I at least want to try." Dinky asked with a determined stare. "We have to make three salmon based dishes. A side, a main entree and a dessert or a appetizer, entree and side if the meal doesn't call for a dessert. I already have an idea for the appetizer and entree but the side is gonna be difficult." Red, shook her head. "I guess beggars canna be choosers. Do you have any experience with cooking by chance?" Dinky smiled and nodded her head. "I have read and memorized the entire book series 'silver chef' for my extra credit studies here." Dinky's ears folded back. "But Marigold hasn't even let me spice anything let alone cook. She just has me peeling potatoes or onions in the back most of the time." "I see, she keeps making snide little comments about your heritage too. Marigold may be a snob but I don't remember her going that far. She may be mean but she can't take hit to the face too well." Dinky sighed. "My mom's...kinda popular but not exactly for all the right reasons. She's a mail mare with a history of being clumsy and a tad bit inaccurate." "Derpy?" Red asked. "Derpy." Dinky replied somberly. "No matter. If you put yer mind to it you can do anything. Here..." Red dug around in her bags and pulled out a ball of aluminum foil. She set it on a nearby counter and opened it up. "What is that?" Dinky peered up at the object in the foil but couldn't quite make out what it was. "Heh, forgot yer a bit on the short side." Red pulled a stool up to the counter to allow Dinky a step up. She turned her head to one side and then to other. "So...this is salmon? Is this like...some kind of meat?" "You can say that. You won't find to many folks in Equestria eating it but in places like the griffon empire it is fairly common place." "Is it cooked? Can I try a bite?" Dinky asked. Red was taken aback by the young fillies enthusiasm. Most ponies would retch at the mere thought of eating something meat based but this little filly seemed to want to try anything. "Sure, why not. Ya need to know what you are cooking with and what to expect." Red watched as the little filly took a fork and cut of a sizable chunk for herself. She lapped up the spare piece and began to chew. Red watched her as she rolled it around her mouth, something she didn't even see experienced chefs do sometimes so she could not only taste it; but get a feel for its texture. "So, getting any ideas?" Red asked. Dinky swallowed the salmon and licked her chops. "That was actually kinda good. Smooth but a bit spongy, soft and not tart at all. I would guess that without the spice you put on it, it would be kind of bland." Red clapped her hooves together. Clearly this filly has a good head for cooking. "It seems good for marinating but I think I have another idea, something radical but fits the meal rather well." Dinky walked up to the center counter where other chefs were busy piling ingredients and grabbed a small tray of what looked like cheese. "What do ya have in mind Dinky?" Red asked as Dinky set the cheese up on the counter. "A Swiss cheese Souffle. Swiss has a flavor that's not too sharp and its texture compliments the salmon nicely. I plan to make a souffle but have melted Swiss and salmon casserole in the center." Red couldn't help but smile. "I think we found our side dish. You think you can handle it alone while I deal with the other two?" Dinky saluted in response. "Yes ma'am! I make this souffles all the time at home." Dinky ran over to the table and began to gather eggs,butter, flour and Swiss cheese in a little wicker basket. Good on her, now what to make... Red began pulling ingredients out of her bag until she came across some of the yucca from earlier. "Hmmm...baked plain salmon, slightly crispy with creme cheese stuffed inside grilled yucca chips..." Red covered her mouth as one of Marigolds chefs walked by. That was a close one, need ta stop thinkin out loud/ Red continued to go over what she would make in her head. Her spicy salmon main dish was more than adequate and the chips would be a nice addition but it came down to Dinky's side dish to bring it all together. Looking across the room she watched Marigold flagrantly show off to the other cooks what she was doing. She even made a habit of announcing it like everypony was deaf. "So, We marinate the salmon in marinara sauce and then spice it with garlic and olives. We then bake it for an hour. While that's cooking we will make stuffed salmon bread sticks with chutney dipping sauce as a side. Finally we will-" Marigold looked over the shoulder of one of the cooks and grinned maliciously at Red. "We will make a mint snappers surprise with salmon inside. You have your orders boys, get to work." Red rolled her eyes and went back to work as Marigold approached the ingredients table. When She reached the table she whispered for Dinky to come to her. Dinky, curious, walked up to Marigold. "I have a deal for you little one." Marigold said in a hushed tone. Dinky arched her head to the side. "I'm not sure I'm supposed to be talking to you. We are competing against each other." "Oh, it's nothing of importance." Marigold lowered her head and whispered in Dinky's ear. "You know the difference between me and her? Power, when you command legions of chefs to do your bidding anything can be accomplished in the kitchen. Now imagine for a moment that you yourself would want such power. Tell me in a whisper how you would do that." Dinky's ears folded back, she knew Marigold was trying to trick her but her curiosity was getting the best of her. She whispered in Marigolds ear. "By studying hard and doing your best?" Marigold tried her best to stifle a chuckle before lowering her voice. "No Dinky. You gain power by stroking the ego's of those already with power. Take a guess who in this room has the power?" "You?" Dinky replied. "Good girl. Now imagine for a moment that I am the one that's ultimately responsible for your extra credit grade when you get out of here. Think of it, a scholarship to Canterlot University to study any topic your heart desires. Free from the chains of common folk to become more that what you could ever imagine. All you need to do is one little favor for me..." "Which is?" Dinky asked. "Oh, nothing too difficult just...walk away from this little contest. You see by the rules I have to provide the challenger with an assistant but there is nothing preventing said assistant from just...walking away. Without a third dish Red will be disqualified and I will be made the winner by default." Marigold smiled and patted Dinky on the head. "Just remember were your bread is buttered when making this decision. I can be your greatest asset or your worst enemy." Marigold picked up a case of mustard spice and walked away, leaving Dinky with her dilemma. "I don't know what to do." Dinky looked at Red whom was busy spicing her salmon and checking the stove temperature. If i do what she asks then mom will be proud of me that I got my own scholarship, then she won't have to work as hard to put bits back for my future school. The thought of her mom also nearly brought tears to her eyes. What would momma do? Dinky closed her eyes and imagined she was at home, talking to her mom as she watered the garden, missing most of the plants entirely as usual. "Mom, why do you work so hard?" Dinky asked. "Because I have responsibilities to myself and you. Because I want my little girl to have it better than I did when growing up." "If someone were to just give you all the bits you needed, would you take them and spend more time with me?" Derpy set the water can down and signed. "I might spend less time working but I would still deliver the mail. I want to be the best mail delivery mare in the world. I'm already the fourth fastest mailmare in Equestria I just need to work on my accuracy a bit. Taking handouts is nice and all but you can't always depend on it." Dinky stared at the ground. She had a feeling she already knew the answer to the question she was about to ask. "What if you had to hurt another pony, lie, cheat and step on them to reach your goals?" Derpy shook her head. "You know how I feel about that. Hurting others just to get what you want is wrong. Think about what your dad did, he swept me off my feet like my own night in shining armor just to get what he wanted and then left me out to dry when a prettier flank walked by." Derpy walked over to dinky and hugged her. "You will never get ahead in life by hurting others, you will only find happiness in doing what you love and trying your best at it." Dinky shook her head and the image of her mom and their garden vanished, leaving her there with a basket of ingredients on her back that she figured she must have grabbed subconsciously. She looked toward Red as she finished stuffing the yucca chips. mom's right. Even if I got that scholarship I couldn't look at myself in the mirror each day. If I'm gonna get that scholarship I'm gonna do it the right way. Dinky Started to walk toward Red when Marigold stepped in front of her. "So, your decision?" Marigold asked. "I refuse. You can take your cheating behind over there and try and win the right way." "Wrong answer, I guess genes are a deciding factor. I mean your mother is a worthless flight school drop out after all. I'm going to enjoy failing your extra credit course. As for this competition..." Marigold signaled one of her cooks with a bucket of something in his mouth to sneak up to the stove while Red was busy rummaging through her bags. "I always like to ensure my victories." Marigold lifted a hoof and gave a sort of waving signal. The chef behind her tossed what looked like a bucket of white powder toward a stack of Red's ingredients that she laid out on the counter. Oh, NO! Dinky thought. If that lands it will ruin everything! Dinky concentrated hard, mustering whatever little magic a filly her age possessed and shot a small bolt of magic at the airborne bucket. The bolt struck the bucket on the bottom half, making it change trajectory mid air. It bounced off the wall, off the flank of the chef who tossed it and right onto Marigold's head, dumping its contents all over her. "Ahh who turned out the lights!" Marigold kicked up some of the white powder, some of it stinging Dinky's nose as it hit her. "Somepony help! I've been a-salted" Marigold cried as she ran into a nearby freezer door, The bucket clanging like a gong. Dinky instinctively licked the powder off her nose to find that it was nothing more than salt. "Salt? I mean, she could have picked something harder to remove." "What in Celestia's name is all the ruckus?" Red shouted as she lifted her head out of her bag. "Marigold tried to bribe me!" Dinky said, sending an angry glare in Marigold's direction. Marigold managed to get the bucket off of her head just in time to turn toward Dinky growl. "How dare you, you impudent little welp! Me, the best chef in Equestria needing to bribe a mere filly? Preposterous!" Marigold shook the salt our of her hair. "Besides, even if I did you have no witnesses to corroborate your story." Marigold said with a snide grin on her face. "Then why were you near Dinky and why are ya covered in..." Red walked up and smelled the floor. "Sea salt?" Marigold grinned and faked a laugh. "Oh, you know Red, cooking accidents happen and all that." Red narrowed her eyes. "Cookin accidents...right. Cmon Dinky we got work to do." Dinky followed Red back to her side of the kitchen but not before blowing Marigold a courtesy raspberry, something that made the mares face turn almost as red as Red's coat. When Dinky made it over to the stove she noticed the staff on the other side were panicking. She learned forward, putting her ear out to get an idea of what was going on. "Madam Marigold! Zer iz salt all over ze marinated fish! It iz ruined!" One of her cooks said in a thick french accent. "Psst" Dinky turned around as Red approached her, her head down low. "I saw what ya did there when that bloke tossed the bucket, caught it out of the corner of me eye but didn't have time to react. I owe ye one kiddo." Red turned around and pulled the main entree out of the oven with her bare teeth to check how far from finished it was. She quickly put the fish back in the bot belly oven and turned to Dinky. "C'mon. Let's win us a contest." *** Red and Dinky stood shoulder to shoulder, their salmon dishes covered by silver on a ornate silver cart. To their right stood Blossoms Marigold, her own dishes sitting on solid gold platters with ornate gold covers. In front of them was the oak double doors that led to the royal dining room where the guests from the griffon empire were surely awaiting. "Pfft, idiot. Anyone knows gold ruins the flavor." Red said without making eye contact. "Says you. Presentation is everything. If the food looks good then the brain tricks you into thinking it must taste good too. If you stayed in school then you would have learned that in the social psychology class." Marigold cracked a grin. "When I win I want you to clean all the pots and pans first, Princess Luna has a habit of ordering grilled radish sandwiches for her midnight lunch and they have a nasty habit of dirtying up my frying pans." "And if you lose...well, lets just say cooking for most of the palace creates quite the mess." The doors slowly opened and Princess Luna stood there in full regalia, ushering the ponies in quietly. As they passed Luna said in a low whisper to all of them. "Things have not been going too well. Walarah does not have a very good sweet tooth nor does she fancy much of the other meals the royal cooks have prepared. I suggest you be on your best behavior." Red, Dinky and Marigold nodded and slowly wheeled their meals up to the table. Marigold gave a wink to one of the servant mares on the other side of the table. She was wearing a black maids outfit, had a mint green coat and deep purple eyes. Oddly enough her horn was slightly crooked, something unicorns typically got fixed immediately. "That mare over there is nick named 'Cold Read'. She will be our distant impartial judge for the night" Marigold whispered. "Right, impartial my behind, knowing you ya paid her... I am not paid off. There was a sudden soft voice in the back of Red's mind. I am partially psychic. I am usually brought along as Celestia's aide, however I cannot read the minds of the griffons as they seem to be wearing earrings that ward such things. I can however read expressions of any species without fail. Red grinned nervously at Cold Read. Celestia stood up and tapped a glass with her fork. "Esteemed guests from the griffon empire, I present you with the main entree of the night. A dish specially catered to your particular tastes, I do hope you enjoy them." Red and marigold pushed their dishes up to the table and began sitting them out for Walarah's two senior advisers and the griffon Queen herself. "Ah, Celestia. Always going out of your way to impress and with what looks like my favorite dish as well;salmon." Walarah Began to stack her plate with a little of everything except the cheese souffle which was untouched by any of the griffons. As the group began to eat Red watched nervously as cold read's eyes rapidly moved from griffon to griffon. Score update Red is behind Marigold by two points. One of Walarah's advisers had a nasty sneer on his face when he tasted Marigold's partially butchered over-salted salmon. he quickly pushed it to the end of his plate and tried Red's spicy salmon instead; his face lighting up with glee as he did. Red behind one point. Red heard in the back of her mind. Apparently Dinky was hearing it as well, she was staring at Red with worried eyes. "Don worry Dinky, the meals not even remotely over." Red said as she comforted the filly with a hug. "I can almost taste victory. I can't wait to watch you squirm Red." Marigold stared at Dinky and mouthed something that oddly looked like. "And watch you fail" to the filly. The meal went on for a good thirty or so minutes before the Griffons finally stopped eating, although Walarah was eying the souffle with interest. "Tell me, which one of you chefs came up with such an...odd concoction?" Queen Walarah turned her attention to Red and Marigold. "I-I did, Queen Walarah..err ma'am." Dinky stepped forward, catching the Queen and her advisers by surprise. "A little filly like you? Cooking food for royalty?" Walarah cocked her head and stared directly at Celestia. "You let children cook for such important meals? Getting a bit desperately financially are we Celestia?" Walarah's advisers gave off a hearty laugh. "Maybe you shouldn't judge a book by its cover old friend. Sometimes even the youngest ponies can impress." Celestia stared at Dinky for a moment. "As they say, everypony has their day in the sun." "You know what Celestia? I agree. It would be rude to dismiss this fillies hard work. I will at the very least taste this odd mixture." The score is currently tied. Red head cold's voice in the back of her mind. Approval by the Queen and at least one adviser is required for Red to win while just Walarah alone is required to keep the tie. Rejection by Walarah and one adviser will result in a victory for Blossoms Marigold. Marigold smiled and whispered under her breath. "Oh, by the way. I forgot to mention I read somewhere that the Queen dislikes most cheese dishes. Shall I start running the water for you Red? Or after you cry yourself all the way down to my kitchen?" Marigold kept a sly grin on her face, utterly confident in her victory. "Ignore her Dinky. Win, lose or draw always be proud that ya did your best." Red said as she watched Walarah take the first bite of souffle. "Hmmm, intriguing and there is a casserole in the center." Walarah scooped out some of the casserole and put it on top of the bread like souffle crust. After a few bites, Walarah had what looked like an angry expression on her face. Marigold is the wi- Cold read stopped and looked at Walarah again. Walarah turned to Dinky and smiled. "This...if the tastiest dish I have had in a very long time and I don't even LIKE Swiss cheese." Both of Walarah's advisers nodded in agreement, each one getting some of the souffle for themselves. Winner declared. Red Typhoon and Dinky are the winners. Red shot Marigold a smile completely ignoring the fact that it was not her own doing but Dinkies recipe that saved her hide. "Name your price little filly. I will do my very best to grant whatever request you want." Walarah said as she took another bite of souffle. Dinky looked up at Red apprehensively and then over to Celestia whom nodded at her to go ahead. "Ummm your majesty, If it's not too much to ask I would like a ummm..." Dinky hesitated for a moment. Would that be asking too much? maybe if I asked for only a little. "I would like a partial scholarship to Canterlot University...when I'm older I mean." Walarah stared at Dinky for a moment and then turned her head to Celestia. "Of all things you could have possibly asked for you ask for something not out of greed, not for power nor for fame but something that you would have to work with to better yourself." Dinky backed away behind Red's back leg. "I'm sorry, I'll take nothing if that makes you happy." Walarah couldn't control herself and burst out laughing. "Little filly, you didn't even need to ask me for that. I'm sure Celestia has already given your name to the dean by now." Dinky looked over to where Celestia was sitting. She was indeed writing out a letter with the Canterlot University seal on the back. "Th-thank you, your umm, highness's." Dinky bowed courteously Celestia rolled up the letter and handed it off to one off to Luna who nodded and exited the room in a puff of smoke. She centered her attention on both cooks and smiled. "Thank you so much for your hard work but I need some time alone with Walarah. Luna should be with you momentarily for your bonuses." Red, Dinky and Marigold bowed respectfully and headed out the room, the ornate oak doors closing behind them. Just when as the door closed Marigold stomped her hoof and growled at Dinky. "You little runt! You embarrassed me in front of Celestia herself!" Marigold raised a hoof to strike Dinky only to receive a pair of red back legs straight to the jaw, sending her tumbling to the floor in a heap. "Is she?" Dinky said as she watched the unmoving heap that was Marigold's body. "Nah, she still breathing." Red replied. "Indeed she is." Red and Dinky turned around to find Princess Luna standing in the hall behind them. "I heard everything she said. I am proud that you actually held back, if it was me when she raised a hoof at a child like that...I'm not sure she would be getting up for a long time, to say the least." Luna said as she walked over to the unconscious Marigold. "You do not deserve this." Luna bent over and ripped off Marigolds decorative sash. "When she wakes up she will have note in her inbox. Maybe a few years of cleaning latrines will teach her to be graceful when outwitted." Luna walked up to Dinky and Red. "As for you two...I won't tell Celestia that you turned such an important meeting into some kind of cooking contest-" "How did you know it was a cooking contest?" Dinky asked, surprised. Luna gave a smile. "I didn't, you just confirmed it for me. I had my suspicions about why the royal cooks were trying to best a mere cafeteria cook. The combination of Marigold's easy to read expression and the reason she was there made me suspicious and...let's just say Cold Read' isn't the only pony able to read expressions well." "So...what be my punishment princess Luna?" Red said stepping forward. "Hey I helped get us in trouble too!" Dinky stepped forward also. Luna giggled. "No, there will be no punishments. Well...maybe one, Red do you have any more of your fried potato balls left downstairs?" Red grinned. "Nah but I reckon I have the time to cook ya one. I'll fry one up for ya...right after me and Dinky here eat dinner." "I look forward to it." *** Queen Walarah set down her fork and picked up a napkin, cleaning her beak off with care. "Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, shall we get down to business Celestia?" "Most certainly. Your adviser mentioned earlier we could do a virtual war using say, interconnected game-things they have in the big cities." Celestia said. "He did, but we don't have the technology within our borders and my subjects would cry foul if you won that engagement. No offense Celestia but you know how stubborn and hot headed my people can get, imagine if they even remotely figured it was rigged." Walarah got out of her chair and walked up to a window, pulling the curtain aside to look out of it. "There is something I needed to ask. After so many generations of peace between our kingdoms, why try and start a war now?" Walarah sighed, lowering her head. "Things have not been going well recently. I had to deal with a plague of parasprites that wiped out a large quantity of our food reserves. After that I had to put down a revolt being driven by hunger. My claw is somewhat forced on this issue old friend, if I hadn't moved for a more...peaceful conflict then my people would have charged your lands in desperation." "I see" Celestia walked up beside Walarah and looked out the window with her. "Couldn't you just ask for help? We could have just sent aid." Walarah sighed and shook her head. "That was on the table, I knew you would help us but after my advisers took a toll it turned out that my people are far to proud to take handouts. It seemed the younger generation has been restless, they are hot headed and ready for combat." Walarah turned to Celestia "All griffons are like that when they are younger, thankfully I have grown out of that stage of my life but still; there are parts of me that yearn for combat, albeit of the less lethal variety." Celestia smiled. "You can take the griffon out of the battle but you can't take the battle out of the griffon." "A wise saying, one my mother said to me when I was young." Walarah said, smiling. "May I ask which adviser came to this conclusion?" Celestia asked. "That would be adviser Vukov of the Wrath clan." Celestia cocked her head to the side. "Vukov? Why is a military adviser suddenly working on civil matters? Isn't he always competition bound?" "Yes, I have a feeling he may have over exaggerated the numbers a bit but the fact of the matter is he is very respected and almost holds as much political clout with my subjects as I do. If I call off this whole war-competition thing then I will undoubtedly have to deal with major fallout from it." "And you couldn't just ask for help from us? I can always send soldi-" "No!" Walarah cleared her throat. "Sorry, I didn't mean to shout. That would be bad, Vukov could spin it as if where you were taking over power. Refusing the idea of war may only cause riots at most but that action would most definitely lead to civil war." "Then we need to find a way to exhaust the passion for combat but in a way that limits injuries but still gets their blood pumping." Celestia put her hoof to her chin, deep in thought. "I assure you rubber tipped jousting will not do it. The discovery of the T word by our scientist didn't ...exactly..." Walarah was looking over Celestia at the stack of after dinner mints one of the maids was carrying out to the table. "What? what's wrong? Is there food in my mane?" Celestia said as she pulled her mane in front of her to inspect it. "No. I just had a wonderful Idea. You remember that one dinner we had, the one where Luna triggered a food fight?" Celestia giggled. "How can I forget? You and me couldn't get the marshmallow off of our bodies for hours. You called Luna the son of a owls drunk uncle." "And then she hit me in the face with a pumpkin pie. Yes that one." Walarah said as she rolled her eyes. "Do you remember what Luna looked like after that food fight?" "Now that I think about it, she didn't have so much as a single bit of anything sweet sticking to her. I think she used a spell that bounces sugar- based objects off her body." Walarah smiled. "How about this, we build wooden mockup titans for a contest of skill, glaze them and have teams cover them in whatever sugar based armor they want. That spell keeps them safe from injury but everyone gets the thrill of the hunt out of their systems?" "That's...that's just so...silly but at the same time, brilliant." Celestia's mind raced with the possibilities, everypony could have fun, there would be sweets for everypony and griffon when the fighting was over and best of all no-pony or griffon would be hurt in the process. "I agree." "I thought you would old friend. How about we step into your office and hammer out the specific rules of engagement over some coffee?" Walarah pointed to a small room in the distance with what looked like it deserved Equestria's messiest desk award." "Yes, lets get this out of the way. Walnut coffee or french vanilla?" Walarah laughed. "French vanilla of course, what do I look like? A diamond dog?" Both Celestia, her maids and one of the advisers followed them into the hall, laughing as they moved toward the office. In the corner of the room one of the advisers stood, holding open his collar. "You get all of that Vukov? She plans to turn a real war into a child's game!" A faint crackling sound came from the griffons collar. " We can still use this to our advantage. I was hoping the queen wouldn't find an alternative but we can use this to our advantage. We will play by her rules but the second the opportunity shows itself we seize what we came for. Understood?" "I understand." "Gryphic? Are you coming or not?" The other griffon adviser waved at the him, forcing him to fake like his collar was stuck. "Yes, yes. I had a wardrobe malfunction. I'll be with you in a minute." Gryphic whispered a command and the crackling noise stopped, he adjusted his collar and followed the other adviser to Celestia's office, a smug grin on his face the entire while. If Vukov plays this right, soon we will hold all the power and the sisters of Equestria will be nothing but a memory.