Celestia's Sick Day

by Smithawits


The Lunar Assassin

Luna stood over the Red’s lifeless body, levitating her knife next to her. “Now for those two jokers upstairs,” she thought to herself. Luna went upstairs to see the two firing away at the battlefield. She decided to go for the one on the right since he was the closest. Luna tackled him, which knocked out his shields, and quickly stabbed him in the back of the head. She then turned to face the other one. The score was 140 to 150. Thanks to Luna, Blue Team was finally able to take the lead.

The other pegasus saw Luna just before she tackled him; he quickly ducked, just barely avoiding being assassinated. Luna landed on her side, and tumbled over before hopping to her hooves and sliding to a stop. Meanwhile, the pegasus got up, ran to the other side of the roof, aimed his Sniper Rifle at Luna and fired.

Luna quickly sidestepped to her right, dodging the bullet by mere inches, then charged at the Red who fired another shot. Luna dodged it again and slid into the Red, causing him to fall to the ground and to drop his gun. Luna picked it up and smacked him with the butt of the gun; the dazed Red stumbled over to the ledge of the roof. Luna quickly buck-kicked him in his helmet; the Red tumbled over the ledge and slammed into the ground. The score was 140 to 170 with Blue Team slowly pulling away.

Luna looked down at the unmoving Red, ready to fnish him off if he dared move an inch. After several seconds, she popped her neck and turned around. As she headed back to the ramp, the ordnance meter on her HUD lit up and a voice announced in her helmet: "Ordnance Ready!" Her HUD then displayed three choices: a damage boost, two plasma grenades, or an energy sword. Luna decided to not summon anything yet. "Better save the ordnance for later," she thought to herself. She then heard a noise downstairs. She walked to the top of the ramp just in time to see a drop pod materialize at the bottom of the ramp and then burst open, revealing a long, slender gun with orange lights decorating the side. The Binary Rifle had finally spawned.

Luna's eyes grew wide with excitement as she approached the gun. She had a "Daring-Do" moment as she slowly reached for her long-awaited prize, afraid that taking it might set off an ancient boobytrap. Just before she grabbed the gun, however, Luna felt an incredible pain in her chest that made her cringe and pull away from the Rifle. The score was now 150 to 180 with Blue Team staying ahead.

Luna looked down to see two blades made of concentrated plasma sticking out of her chest. Most of her body went limp as she was lifted in the air, then tossed to the ground near the doorway; her entire body tumbled like a ragdoll. She was able to turn her head slightly to see a Red pony wearing the unicorn armor, levitating an energy sword next to him. The spartan's armor however, looked more advanced than any other armor she's seen. Unlike her armor that was standard MJOLNIR armor, his looked like actual assassin armor; it looked sleeker, stronger, and more menacing looking, especially his helmet. The last thing Luna saw before respawning was the unicorn deactivating his sword, attaching it to his side, and then grabbing the Binary Rifle; Luna then spawned back at Blue Base. The score was 170 to 220 with Blue Team dominating.

There was another knock at the door; this time, a bit more firm, "Princess Luna."

Luna stood where she spawned, staring at the wall with her mouth hung open. "What the hay just happened!?" Luna thought to herself. "That Red, who does he think he is!? First, he has the nerve to kill me when I was about to get my rifle, then he has the audacity to steal it!” Luna walked on the roof of Blue Base and looked over the battlefield.

She saw a once beautiful landscape now stained with wrecked Warthogs, wrecked Ghosts, fires, and bodies of both the Red and Blue Team. She saw Red Spartans in the distance scurrying around like lost ants and Blue Spartans walking blindly into the front lines. As she was looking around, a small orange beam of light came from the building on the hill.

Almost as immediately as it appeared, a brighter orange light flashed and sped towards a Blue Spartan. The beam of light struck the Blue on his chest; the Blue then started disintegrating into burnt, orange ash until nothing of his body remained. Another orange light flashed and struck another Blue in the hoof; the Blue soon disintegrated like his ally. The rest of Blue Team took cover, trying to avoid the Binary Rifle. Luna watched helplessly from the roof. "And now he decides to use the rifle against my OWN TEAM!?" -Luna gritted her teeth- "If I could, I would send him to the moon faster than a parasprite eats a bushel of apples!" She then remembered about her ordnance.

Luna brought up her ordnance menu; it still gave her the original three choices from earlier. "Fine then," Luna thought, "if that's the way he wants it-" she called for a drop pod that materialized next to her and then burst open, revealing a fresh energy sword "-that's the way it's going to be." She levitated the energy sword next to her and set out to find her killer. The score was 260 to 240. Red Team was now leading thanks to them possessing the Binary Rifle.

Luna remained in the shadows; she passed by many Red, but she didn't attack them. She wasn't concerned about them; she didn't even care if her team won the match. All she cared about was finding her killer and kicking his flank...hard. After a while, however, Luna started having second thoughts; it had been a long time since her and that Red's confrontation and, at this point in the game, it's more than likely that that Red died and lost both weapons. "Maybe I should just give up and help my team win," she thought to herself. After a few more minutes, she was about to yield to her thoughts, but then, she finally saw him. The unicorn was casually trotting down a road, still carrying the energy sword. The score was now 500 to 490 with Red Team just barely maintaining the lead.

Luna was on a rocky ledge, the unicorn was on a frozen, dirt road just below her. "Death from above," Luna thought to herself, "let’s see how he likes a taste of his own medicine." Luna waited until her target was right below her, and then leaped towards him. As she started to tackle him though, something strange happened; the unicorn fizzled and blinked on and off as Luna passed through his body. Luna slammed into the ground and slid for a few feet. Dazed, she sat up and tired to figure out what happened.

With a look of horror, it dawned on her that she had fallen for a hologram trick; Luna then noticed a red dot on her radar rapidly approaching her from behind. She watched as the red dot got closer and closer; she drew her sword, which was deactivated, and levitated it close to her chest so the Red couldn't see it.. She closed her eyes listening for his hoofsteps; trying to figure out when to strike.

The unicorn was right behind her, ready to give her another painful lesson about letting your guard down. Like a car wreck, everything went into slow motion as the unicorn started to thrust his energy sword towards Luna's head. Without another second to spare, Luna sidestepped and spun to her left, dodging her enemy’s attack and punching the unicorn dead in the face; or at least it would've been his face had his visor not been in the way. Everything went back to normal speed as the unicorn flew back several feet. Quickly, the unicorn got up and regained his bearings; he stood in an attack position, sword drawn out to his side. Luna shook her sword's handle which deployed her energy sword; the light from the sword on her side casted the perfect shadow against her armor; making her look stronger, and more menacing. Luna took a defensive stance.

Without warning, the unicorn lunged at Luna and swung his sword at her. Luna quickly lifted her sword and blocked the swing. The force from the two swords colliding sent sparks flying and created a small explosion. This explosion knocked out both of their energy shields and forced the swords away from each other. However this did not discourage the unicorn in the slightest; he kept swinging, trying from many different angles and positions to break through Luna's defensive stance. However, Luna didn't break. She matched and blocked every move the unicorn had up his sleeve.

After a while though, Luna was starting to get disoriented. The flash from the swords colliding was starting to blind Luna and make her forget where she was. "I need just a few seconds to gather myself," she thought. Finally, she saw an opening; the unicorn backed up a little to deliver a devastating blow, this allowed Luna to quickly grab a plasma grenade; she activated it and threw it on the ground in between them. They both quickly scrambled away from the grenade, which went off a few seconds later; sending dirt, dust, and snow into the air. It was the perfect, temporary smoke grenade.

With energy shields back at 100 percent, Luna quickly jumped through the dust cloud and out the other side; tackling the unicorn and hoping to let her knife say a few words to his skull. However, the unicorn was able to kick her off. The two got back up, still levitating their energy swords, and charged each other.

They both met and clashed their swords, but this time, instead of allowing the swords to push away, the two forced the swords to stay together. A fountain of sparks erupted in all directions and an orb of energy started glowing from the swords as the two put more and more pressure on them. Eventually, the two Spartans gave up on using levitation and instead, used their forehooves to hold their swords; their hind hooves started digging into the ground as they pressed their helmets together glaring swords, knives, daggers, and other sharp objects into each other's helmet. However, they were directly in between the crossed swords; one wrong slip and they would both lose their heads. The orb of energy grew bigger and brighter and it was becoming harder and harder keep parrying the swords the longer they stayed together.

Luna started to panic as multiple alarms sounded inside her helmet; her energy shields were depleted, and multiple systems in her armor were failing. Luna collapsed on one knee, yet she was still able to parry her opponent’s sword. The unicorn leaned in and put all of his body weight onto the swords, forcing them to move closer and closer to Luna. The blades were now mere inches away from Luna's visor, ready to slice through her helmet like a hot knife through butter.

Suddenly, the energy behind the swords became too much for the Spartans. The orb burst with incredible force, sending the two Spartans flying in opposite directions of each other. Luna was thrown against a rock wall, and then fell to the ground; she got up a few seconds later, dazed and completely exhausted. She looked up to see the enraged unicorn, once again, charging at her; Luna took another defensive stance and closed her eyes as she braced herself for the worst.

There was a firm knock at the door, "Princess Luna?"

"Huh?" Luna said as she opened her eyes and snapped back to reality. She looked at the door to her game room, then back at her projection screen just in time to watch her character get sliced with the unicorn's energy sword. Her character respawned a few seconds afterwards.

Luna breathed a sigh of frustration and annoyance as she levitated her controller and headset down onto the floor. She then got up and headed for the door, being careful not to trip over any wires on the dark floor. The blacklight that illuminated the room made Luna's eyes, and crescent moon on her necklace and cutie mark glow in the dark.

She cleared her throat and opened the door to find two pegasus guards standing on the other side. "Yes, what is it?" she said trying to not sound too upset.

"Forgive the intrusion your highness" -one of the guards said as they bowed- "but Princess Celestia has asked to see you in her room immediately."

"Of course she does," Luna said with an eye roll, "Tia always needs to see me right when I'm in the middle of doing something-" she looked back at her screen "-important." Then, something dawned on her. "Wait a minute," Luna said with a worried tone. She looked at a clock which read 1:38 a.m. " It's 1:30 in the morning! What is Tia still doing awake!?"

"That's why we're here ma'am," the other guard said. "It's urgent."

'It's urgent,' one of the many phrases a princess never wants to hear. Luna immediately headed for Celestia's room at a brisk pace, leaving the two guards where they were and her game character to the mercy of the Red Team.

"What could be so urgent?" Luna thought to herself as she walked. "Maybe she's having trouble sleeping again? No, can't be that. Tia's had trouble sleeping before and it's never been urgent. Besides, if she was having trouble sleeping, she would've asked for my help hours ago. Did she have a nightmare? Possibly, but she knows how to deal with nightmares. Even if she didn't, that's still not an emergency. Could she need my help with something?" -Luna paused for a second before she continued walking- "Oh please Luna, you've been gone for 1,000 years. What could Tia possibly need your help with?"

Luna glanced out one of a window as she made her way to Celestia's room. A fresh blanket of snow had just finished falling over the landscape; a full moon shone bright in the clear, night sky; making everything seem new and untouched. "A beautiful night if I do say so myself."

She finally made it to Celestia's room where Shining Armor and several other guards were silently talking to each other outside in the hallway. As Luna got closer, they all suddenly noticed her, turned around, and bowed.

"Your highness," Shining Armor said, "please allow me to explain. Celestia-" Shining was cut off by Luna pushing her way through and reaching for Celestia's door.

"Princess Luna, wait!" Shining said.

Luna didn't wait. She opened the door and stepped inside.