//------------------------------// // a derpy's got to do what a derpy's got to do // Story: Derpy impossible: Muffin Protocol // by linkman447 //------------------------------// while Derpy was out the strange pink mare was arguing with the author trying to narrate his own story with out using any type of transitioning with it to that i said "buck you" bad mistake BACK TO THE REAL STORY in the mind of this little Pegasus was a complete mess as she tried to brave the forest that everypony in ponyville knew better than to enter, which is complete shit as most of the show takes place in the forest, the light howls and other noises radiated from the spooky forest and began to frighten derpy. "this is really creepy i wanna go home and snuggle with my honey, but no a derpy's gotta do what a derpy's gotta do" and as that was said the young mare slowly made her way in to the forest and was never seen again "just kidding ha you guys must be so pissed but back to AHHHHHHH MY ARM PINKIE WHY" the author said though incredible pain "you still need to pay for what you said" the now strait maned pinkie said once again back to the f-ing story the only thing that kept the mare going was 2 thoughts one the fact that all muffins may be at risk and 2 the song giggle at the ghosties by pinkie pie, the young mare was doing great at first but then a roar that almost stopped her heart she bolted ahead trying to put as much distance between her and what ever made that horrid noise then with the loud sound of giant paws hitting the ground and another roar a large manticore bounded out from behind her and blocked her path, the manticore stood a good 6' tall and had the face of a man the body of a lion the wings of a dragon and the tail of a scorpion, with a nasty temper and a love for blood this looked pretty bad for derpy but then suddenly a consecutive barrage of bangs came from the left of derpy and then a bunch of blood stared to trickle down the beast then out of the brush came a weird creature on 2 legs with thick black padded clothes all over his body well derpy assumed it was a boy because it well seemed masculine. the creature had black hair and stood a good 5' 7'' and had a big black thing in its arms "damn that this was big" he said "thank you for saving my" shuttered derpy "WHO SAID THAT" he yelled looking around when his eyes met derpy's eyes well eye because the other one was looking at the manticore " i did mister" she giggled back "HOLE FUCK IT'S A TALKING MIDGET HORSE WITH WINGS" the man yelled again "sir im a pony and more specifically a Pegasus and all ponies can talk silly by the way my names ditzy doo but you can call me derpy if you like" she told the creature "the names Ethan hunt I'm a human and where the hell am I. "Let me explain" suddenly a younger looking human appeared "I'm Alex I may not look it but I'm a well bender of reality with the greatest source imagination" they looked at the young man with utter confusion "OK let me explain" After a good hour of explaining both derpy and Ethan knew what was up "so you brought him here to help me" alex nodded then added "I'm here to help to but-." he was cut off by a screaming celestia "Alex my love i found you" alex muttered "shit she found me every universes celestia well ill help when i can" the crazed alicorn grabbed the young man. "now we will go back to our love nest." as she flew off with him she started to kiss him and well lets just say some 18+ stuff "well that was odd" Ethan muttered "well this will be the most F'ed up mission ever"