(Come on now, sing it with me! Indeterminate-aged Element Bearers, heroines without clothes…Now I feel really dirty for imagining it. But wait, aren’t ponies always naked? Okay, I’ve really talked myself into a corner. See you at the first mildly amusing joke! Which, knowing this writer, won’t come until at least chapter 5.)
Keroro sat in the secret base, reading the latest issue of Captain Frog and building Gundam models. He looked up and saw all the different things happening on his monitors.
“Our little plan is coming together better than a broken family heirloom drenched in superglue!” The commanding frog chuckled as he watched Discord and Kululu’s shenanigans.
“Those two are worse for the Pekoponians than that Jersey Shore show! We’ve got this planet in the bag!”
Back in Ponyville, Fuyuki was finishing his life’s story.
“…and today I went down into my haunted basement and found Discord waiting for me! I asked him if he could take me to Equestria, and the next thing I knew, I was here. I know I shouldn’t be phased by any of this because I’m used to meeting new aliens every single episode of my own show, but wow, I can’t believe I’m actually in Ponyville!” As he finished, he found the ponies surrounding him.
“Fuyuki, darling, you seem like a very bright boy. Do you know a way for us to get to your world?” Rarity asked. Fuyuki shook his head.
“I wish I did. I don’t even know how Sarge came here in the first place.”
“Sarge? Was that the little green frog? He came here demanding Discord! I traveled to Canterlot in record time and brought Discord to him, and he gave me a milkshake! That incredible, amazing milkshake! I want another milkshake!”
(The first step is admitting you have a problem, Pinkie.) Pinkie turned her head to the sky and her mane straightened out.
“I’m not crazy! You’re crazy!” Fuyuki stared at her.
Is it just me, or is Pinkie Pie the Momoka of this show?
Back on Earth, Giroro was busy taking target practice. He was the crack shot of the platoon, but it never hurt to have a little practice run in order to stay sharp. As usual, his accuracy was 100%.
(Ooh! Explosions! Now this is what I’m talking about! I’m sorry I badmouthed you, Michael Bay!)
The corporal walked away from the practice area, satisfied with his work.
“Well, I’ve done my part. With Discord on our side, this is our greatest chance of all to take over Pekopon. I just need to make sure no one hurts Natsumi.”
(D’aaaaaaw, once again you’ve proven you’re a big softy on the inside, Corporal!)
“Shut up.” The corporal continued walking. As he approached the hideout, he slipped and fell. Groaning, he spotted the cause of his pratfall; an empty Dilly Bar box from Dairy Queen.
“What? That lumbering fool! Figures he’d just sit around and eat the delicacies of this queen of dairy. The least he could do is properly dispose of this trash.”
Giroro grabbed the box and chucked it in a nearby trash receptacle. The cranky corporal then made his way into the main room of the base, where Keroro was. Upon turning around to look, the lazy frog quickly tossed the comic book aside and stared intently at one of the monitors.
“Boy, just look at that grass grow! Giroro, have you ever just sat back and enjoyed the little things in life, like watching grass grow?” The corporal’s expression did not change.
“Hey, as the leader of this platoon, I think you should set an example by not leaving your trash in an area where an impressionable young tadpole like Tamama might trip over it and nearly damage important sectors of his posterior.” Keroro began to sweat and laugh nervously.
“Oh…sorry, I would have thrown that away sooner, but this growing grass program is just so compelling, I can’t look away! Seriously, this gives the ‘Watching Paint Dry’ channel a run for its money!” Giroro scowled again.
“Who is this ‘Dairy Queen,’ anyway? You’ve spoken warmly about her for months now. You even conned that pink pony with one of the queen’s milkshakes to bring Discord here! Are you having an affair with this lovely maiden of ice cream royalty?” Keroro got nervous and hung his head for a moment.
“I just can’t resist her delicate ice cold creamy goodness…”
(Good night, everybody!)
Back in Ponyville, it was quickly becoming night. After doing some research, Twilight decided that it would take several more hours of study to find a spell capable of sending Fuyuki back to his own world, the world where he had confirmed Discord had been taken, and was now likely raising havoc. For convenience’s sake, it was decided that the boy would sleep at the treebrary, in case of any sudden developments. Earlier in the day, Fuyuki had taken a walk, Applejack accompanied him to make sure none of the other ponies freaked out. You see, they had never before seen a human in Equestria. Anyway, Apple Bloom approached him. In her usual insanely cute way, she asked him to be her subject for show and tell at school the next day.
(Bronies, if you’ve ever seen Apple Bloom at any point in your lives, you’d know that saying “no” to that face is 99.99999999998765% impossible.)
That night, Fuyuki sat outside on the 2nd deck of the treebrary. He stared up at the stars, admiring Princess Luna’s beautiful night.
(Oh thank goodness…some normalcy in this story. I don’t think I can take anymore Dairy Queen innuendo!)
Twilight walked out onto the deck to join him.
“Oh, hi! I didn’t see you there.” Fuyuki said in all his awkward glory.
“Hi there, Fuyuki! Princess Luna would be very proud to know that a stranger from another world appreciates her night as much as anypony else.” Fuyuki kept staring at the moon.
“Oh yes, I do. I always have.” Twilight smiled.
“It’s nice to have someone else who likes it. Spike does, but he’s usually asleep by this time.” Twilight chuckled, thinking fondly of her #1 assistant.
“I just hope everyone’s okay. I’m worried. I’ve seen what Discord can do.” Fuyuki had turned his gaze to his pony companion.
“Don’t worry, Fuyuki. I will study long and hard until I find a spell to send you home. In the meantime, you’re more than welcome to stay here at the library!” Twilight said, giving him a reassuring smile. Fuyuki smiled back.
“Thank you, Twilight. There’s a reason you’ve always been my favorite pony.”
(And as the brony and the pony gazed on, a great bond was formed. Wait…don’t tell me this is gonna be one of those creepy man and horse kinda stories! I didn’t sign up for this!)
(Back on Earth, Momoka had found out about Fuyuki’s disappearance. To say she wasn’t happy is like saying that Vancouver Canucks fans weren’t happy after they lost the Stanley Cup Finals against the Boston Bruins. In short, it was totally obvious.)
Momoka threw open the door to the secret base, catching Giroro and Keroro off guard. She grabbed the green leader by the neck and hoisted him in the air as she interrogated him.
“Unless you want to end up as the Friday night special at the Space Aliens bar and grill, you’ll tell me what happened to my beloved!”
“Oh, Fuyuki? I didn’t do anything to him, I promise! If…you…let me go…I can…tell you…what…happened!” Momoka set him down and allowed him to catch his breath.
“You see, it’s kind of a long story…”
(We don’t need to hear it again, Sarge, trust me. Let’s go see how the rest of the platoon is doing!)
Tamama had caught up to Kululu and Discord. The three of them were busy causing chaos and headaches for the residents of the city. Each platoon mate had different jobs. Discord was in charge of general chaos, like turning someone’s hair a different shade of purple. Kululu’s main job was coming up with horrific suggestions for more animal combinations, like the CatDog reference from chapter 2. And as for Tamama…well…Discord distracted him with a constantly flowing chocolate rain cloud.
“I haven’t had this much fun since I toyed with the emotions of those rotten little ponies! And you know what the best part is? They can’t do anything to stop me this time! Finally, Discord gets to win!”
“What do you have in mind, boss?” Kululu asked.
“It’s simple, Kululu. We can rule this planet without your other platoon mates! I’ve got all the company I need! As long as I can keep Tamama drunk on chocolate rain, there’s not a force in the universe that can stop…the Chaos Crew!” Discord and Kululu laughed manically. Tamama just stood there in a drunken stupor.
Keroro’s eyes went wide and he began to sweat again.
“Guys…I think I made a mistake.”
(Oh, really? Discord, the spirit of chaos and disharmony, had ulterior motives? Whatever gave you that idea, Sarge?)
“This is just like when Walt Disney got screwed by some corporate jerks before he did everything that made him awesome!”
(Actually no, it's nothing like that. This is quite cliche, and I hope it leads nowhere!)