//------------------------------// // Being Emo Isn't Cool // Story: Dusk Dawns // by AlphatheGriffin17 //------------------------------// As vigil as the sun she raised, Celestia stood at her balcony on the highest tower of Canterlot, her gaze over the small gathering of buildings and homes just a stone's throw away from the royal city. Her radiant mane flowed behind her, billowing slightly in the breeze that crept across her white fur, her golden crown glinting dully in the rays of her now setting sun. A growing darkness in time for her sister to take her place for the night. She stood wondering, almost immobile. She had gotten the message from Spike a few days ago, reporting what had happened in the aftermath of Doom's attack. Particularly on the condition of Dusk and the state that her student was in as a result. That only added to the emotions that were plaguing her at this time. She closed her eyes, feeling the lingering warmth of her sun. Beyond raising it during the day, she knew her duties extended far beyond just bringing day to her kingdom. She had the responsibility to protect her subjects, to see that no harm came to them, a responsibility she had carried for over one thousand years, with each passing generation. She liked to think that she did a good job at this, acting when it was necessary and for the good of everypony. Yet there were times when she doubted that. This was one of them. "A breath-taking sight." She only glanced to see that her sister had joined her, watching while she lowered the sun. "For a time that may be viewed as saddening for most, you truly do know how to make it as beautiful as you do, Tia." "Thank you, Lu-Lu," she replied. "Although, you always manage to create a work of art every night." "That does not make your sun any less spectacular." She smiled up at her. "A sunset and sunrise are quite romantic times for most ponies, for which I am sure they're thankful for." "Not as much as a starlit sky bathed in moonlight might be," she returned. "And I've never known ponies to wish upon a sun." "Nor have I heard of ponies partaking in moonbathing," countered Luna. "A fair point," said Celestia with a small laugh. "I envied you a little, you know, how remarkable you always managed to make your nights when we were younger." "In that respect, that is something we are similar in," remarked her younger sibling, with a slight hint of former bitterness. "I always wondered what it would be like to create your nights myself." She looked at her with admiration. "You made it look so easy." "As you made being adored seem so desirable." A look of regret shadowed her face. "I suppose we both learned the mistakes of those desires then…" "Mistakes that will never be repeated," vowed Celestia, not for the first time. "I know…" A smile returned to her lips. "Thank you for your kind words, my sister." "And yours too." This was something Celestia was grateful for ever since her sister had returned. Once they'd gotten over what had happened, they took a sort of unspoken agreement that they should always balance out the praise they gave the other, as a way of showing that there were no hard feelings between them and neither had any desire to repeat what had happened. Celestia usually went out of her way more for obvious reasons, but Luna would now and again come out with something too. It gave the elder some comfort, because she knew she only ever did it when she knew that she was troubled about something, like now. Even she could be surprised still by how well her sister could read her. Sure enough, the next question Luna asked was one she expected. "What troubles you, Tia?" "Just the weight of our duties, dear sister," she answered with a sigh. "You will have to be a little more specific," she noted with a slight smirk. She appreciated the attempt at humour. "I just wonder sometimes which has the greater impact on us, our successes… or our failures." "Tia, what happened was not your fault," said Luna immediately, knowing what she meant. "If anypony should be feeling guilty, it is I for failing to prevent this." "But we still did nothing," she went on. "We could have done something to help them, but instead we remained here, while they risked their lives. We should have been the ones acting, I know it." "You know that there was nothing you or I could do, not without endangering the citizens of Ponyville," reminded Luna. "You know what he would have done if we had tried." "And so we gave up, which is even worse." She lowered her head, closing her eyes again. "This isn't even the first time we have failed our subjects when they needed us." "That is not important now…" "Isn't it?" she asked doubtfully, no anger in her voice, just despair. "We failed to do anything to stop Doom, we were imprisoned when we rose against Discord and even I failed to save you when you-" "That certainly has no bearing now," snapped Luna sternly. "But it does," she insisted. "It truly does because if I did have sufficient power to save my little sister, what hope, if any, do our subjects have that I would be able to offer them any protection?" Luna wasn't having any of that though. "You know you did all that you could and in the end, you did what you had to do." "But it wasn't just you, was it?" Dark memories returned to her now, of a burning castle, dead, soulless eyes. "You know what happened, on the night I banished you and I had to do the same again." "That was different, you truly had no choice there," insisted Luna. "What you had to do with him was something even I would have done." "I don't even know if I did, with you or with Brave…" She could feel the beginnings of tears in her eyes. "I sometimes wonder if I am truly fit to rule or-" "Enough of this!" commanded Luna. "We all have our regrets, Tia, you know for certain that I do. But you told me yourself that there is no point in dwelling on them, for it only makes them worse." "It doesn't make them any better either…" "I know what you did to Brave was necessary and I have already forgiven you concerning me." Her voice softened a little now. "You will always do what you can to ensure our realm's protection, as will I." "Yet we know, don't we? That no matter what our efforts are to safeguard those we rule, death will one day take them. You and I will carry on but they… they will drift away, only as memories in our minds." The curse of immortality, a fate that the two sisters shared and that Luna understood just as much as anypony else. "A sobering thought indeed…" she nodded solemnly. "Why does it have to be so unfair?" she asked, knowing how childish that sounded. If Luna noticed this, she didn't mention it. "Because we know how to make it better, by remembering those before… and protecting those who exist now. Just as I intend to do," she added in a firm voice. Ceasing her own brooding, Celestia looked to see the determined expression set in stone on Luna. "You stand by what you said then, that Dusk's corruption had some sort of cause?" she asked. "I know it does. I couldn't enter his dreams on the day it happened, barely having access the night before. It might have been inevitable that it would happen, but I am without doubt that something made it happen," she growled. "I don't know what, but I intend to find out." "And when you do?" Righteous anger had taken hold now. "Then they shall see what happens when they dare to believe that they can cross one of my subjects, one of my friends, and emerge unscathed." This was one of those times when Luna surprised her. Even though Celestia was older, more experienced and for the most part more emotionally controlled than her, her younger sister could show that she still had the same resolve and strength she had when she was still a little filly, trying to raise the moon and stars all at once, no matter how much it tired her. As much as she liked to think that she was her guide, Luna could be a true pillar of strength for Celestia sometimes, bringing her back from her occasional moments of doubt. This was one of those times. "Well, I would hate to be them when you find them," she remarked. "As would I," she replied with a devious smile. "I will start as soon as my student awakens. They won't be able to hide for long." "You think he will then?" "I know he will," she answered without a moment's hesitation. Celestia didn't say anything else, but she draped a wing around her sister and smiled gratefully. Others may come and go, times would fade and ponies would end, but she would always have her little sister through it all, giving her strength where it sometimes failed. Not for the first time, she was glad to have her back. "Come on, Twilight, you need a break," Spike repeated next to her. "No, Spike, I don't," she replied sharply, not taking her eyes off Dusk, nor removing her hoof from his. "I can rest all I want when he wakes up." "So you're just gonna stay here, every day until that happens, no matter how long that takes?" he asked to confirm. "If I have to, that's what I'll do," she answered firmly. "He would do the same if it were me." "I'm not gonna argue that, but I'd be saying the same to him if it were you lying there," he said, pointing at the prone Dusk for emphasis. "Then I'm sure you'd also get the same response from him too. I promised that I wouldn't leave him and I'm going to stand by that promise," she said with finality. Spike groaned noticeably and Twilight's only response was to look at him for half a second before returning her attention to Dusk again. She gazed intently at him, privately hoping for a wild moment that she would be able to pierce through his barrier of unconsciousness to get through to the pony she knew and loved underneath. She wanted to chastise herself for thinking up such a ridiculous notion, but part of her didn't see it as very ridiculous at all. She knew Spike was concerned for her, but she also knew that concern was completely unwarranted. It was true that she'd been here for almost three days straight, barely wavering from her coltfriend's side for even a moment and that perhaps she might be suffering from the effects of sleep deprivation to some degree, but she knew she could handle it. She'd spent longer nights reading up late as a filly, this wasn't so different. It was also much more fulfilling in a way. Just as reading those books increased her knowledge and thirst for it, so it was the same for watching Dusk and holding on to the hope that he would wake up soon. Occasionally, a doubt would enter her mind as to whether or not he would wake up any time soon, if it all, but she quickly dispelled it. She'd disappointed him too many times before and she wasn't about to do it again. Some might call this being stubborn. She called it being persistent, like tracing every volume for the fact she needed until she found it. Spike, however, seemed to be proving to be just as stubborn. "Twilight, it's not just me. The others are getting worried about you too," he put forward. "You've hardly gotten any sleep, you barely eat and you hardly ever leave the room, let alone the hospital." "I thought we already made it clear why that is, Spike," she snapped. "You haven't followed your daily schedule in all that time either," he added, waving it in front of her face. "You've always done that!" "I always thought that dating and romance would be a waste of time too, just like friendship," she countered. "Things change, Spike." "Yeah and you need it now." He went to stand by the window, opening it to reveal the setting sun. "Look, it's almost dark. Just come home for tonight." "What part of 'I'm not going to leave Dusk' was unclear?" she responded impatiently. "Just for tonight, Twilight, come on!" he pleaded. "You can get some food, a proper night's rest and… ugh, a shower," he added, wrinkling his nose. Now she looked at him, incredulous. "Are you saying that my need for a wash supersedes my coltfriend's state of health?!" "No, but the state of your health matters too!" he retorted. "If he were awake right now and you were like this, what do you think he'd say?" "He'd agree with me, he'd want me here with him," she answered straight away. "Come on, you know how he is! He'd tell you the same thing, that you need some sleep and some food, because he'd be worried about you and because he's not worth that much worry and fuss over anyway." "Are you saying-?!" "That's not what I'm saying, that's what he'd say and you know it," he cut off. "Like I said, you know how he is." Twilight opened her mouth to argue back, but closed it once Spike's words started to sink in properly. That would sound like the sort of thing Dusk would say, admittedly a little more light heartedly, but it would be because he was concerned about her. He'd never really spent much time worrying about himself, more on others around him, because of how he saw himself. Of course that would be what he would say… Now she was actually looking up from his bed, she looked over at the mirror that was in the room and was almost shocked by who she saw looking back. Bags under her eyes were forming from lack of sleep, her usually white pupils now almost bloodshot. While it still retained some of its usual neatness, her mane was mostly in disarray, as were parts of her fur. Her face was gaunt and haunted and she just noticed now how dry her lips were, how empty her stomach felt, how heavy her eyelids felt. Three days… she'd been here for three days. The rational part of her mind had been screaming at her about the dangers of sleep and nutrition deprivation, but she had stopped listening to it a while back. Now though, she could see why… "See what I mean?" Spike had joined her at the mirror. "You can't go on like this, Twilight. He wouldn't want you too, not without a break." "I… I never… realised…"she gasped. "I thought… I didn't…" "I know, you look terrible. No offense," he added quickly. "No, no you're right… I look awful…" Her eyes saw him reflected in the mirror too and she turned back to him. "But so does he…" "I'm sorry, but there's not a whole lot that can be done there," Spike said solemnly. "You certainly won't be able to do much if you keep this up." "I… I suppose but…" She placed her hoof back on his. "I just… I don't feel right… leaving him…" "He's in a hospital, with all this hooked up to him," he reminded her. "He'll be fine and he'll still be here in the morning when you come back. Just one night, then you'll be back." "Just one night… I guess… that doesn't sound so bad…" she murmured. "But, what if-?" "Nothing will happen, Twilight," said Spike firmly. "He'll be fine. He's not exactly going anywhere. Come on, I don't wanna sleep alone at home again…" That made a twinge of guilt rise up in her chest. While she had been here watching Dusk, she had been shutting out her friends and those she cared about just as much as him. She hadn't thought of it as really mattering that much, but seeing Spike now, looking up at her pleadingly with genuine concern, reminded her of how much she had been doing it. She reached out and hugged him, holding him close against her, as a way of apology. The way he returned it told her he accepted it. "Alright, Spike… let's go…" With as much effort as casting her most difficult spell, she wrenched herself away from Dusk's bed, though not before having one lingering glance back. She looked to his hat, his glasses and his half of their necklace, which she had left on his bedside table. Just in case he woke up. She intended to leave it all there, on the hope that it might happen and the assurance that the staff would make sure nothing happened to them. But she didn't feel like leaving without taking something of him with her. Just one thing… "I hope you don't mind this…" She took his hat with a spell and smiled apologetically. "Don't worry… I'll look after it, until tomorrow…" She didn't expect any response from him but… was it her imagination or did his hoof twitch ever so slightly? There was a wild moment of hope… until it didn't happen again. She was just seeing things now, probably an effect of having so little sleep… still… She hesitated for a moment, left a kiss on his cheek and one last squeeze of his hoof, then followed Spike out, allowing him to partially pull her away. She had to mentally force herself not to go back and even then it was a challenge. "I know this is tough, Twilight, but we're all feeling it," he said sympathetically. "But we gotta stick together on this if we're gonna help him get through it, us too for that matter." "I know," she murmured. "I'm sorry for leaving you on your own for so long." He waved a claw dismissively. "It's fine, I knew you of all ponies would be the one there for him the most. But we gotta look out for each other. Legendary librarians, remember?" "How could I forget?" That doubt returned to her mind again. "Spike… do you think he'll ever wake up?" "Sure he will." Spike just smiled warmly at her. "Have faith, right? Besides, I've gotten used to the reduced workload with having him around. Even if it does mean having to watch you two making more eyes than an eyeball factory." Twilight didn't know if Spike really believed that or if he was just saying that in a bid to make her feel better, but she felt reassured by his words nonetheless. It felt good to laugh about something for a change. "Hey and did you hear? Rainbow Dash got out today," he reported. "Her wings are fully mended now." "That's good to hear," she said, knowing again he was trying to make her feel better. "How is she?" "I dunno. I saw when I was coming in here to find you. She was acting kinda jittery, looked like she was actually trying to get back in." He shrugged, scratching his head. "How crazy is that?" "Hm… the world is very strange," mused Twilight. Spike kept up the encouraging talk and light-hearted remarks all the way back to their home. As annoying as he could be at times, she had to admit he always seemed to know how to make her feel better when she was down and this was no exception. Although this was a little different than just comforting her after a test or helping her find a lost book. She was actually a little comforted when she stepped back into the confines of the library, before she was assaulted with memories… Dusk's cheery greetings every morning, the looks they shared with each other across the room, running away with his hat, calming her down when she started panicking about some research and study… She didn't let the trilby out of her sight for the rest of the day and didn't eat much of the meal he made for her. When they finally left for bed, she gripped it tightly, warming it up against her skin and settling into an uneasy sleep… She was back beside Dusk's bed again, watching over his prone form, hooked up to various, cold machines that were beeping away, keeping him alive. She'd never felt more helpless in her entire life and just wished she could do something, anything to help him. "Dusk… please, please wake up…" she begged. "I just want you back… please…" There was no response. Not even a flicker of his eyelids, a twitch of his hoof under hers. Nothing. She pressed her head against his body, sinking into despair. "Still here then?" came the voice of the doctor, a little deeper than usual. "It's all I can really do." She reached out to touch his face. "Oh doctor, what's wrong with him? Why won't he wake up?" "I thought you already knew what was wrong with him. It is rather obvious," he replied, a heavy note of suggestion in his voice. "Isn't there anything I can do?" she asked desperately, looking to see the doctor hidden in the shadow, looking over the instruments. "You had your chance to help before, Twilight, yet you did nothing, that's what I hear," he responded harshly. "There's really not a whole lot any of us can do now." She squinted, trying to see him in the dark. "What… what are you saying?" "I'm saying that there's not much hope we can hold out for." He pressed a hoof on the heart rate monitor. "We might have to disconnect him completely." "What?!" She snapped her head up, leaning protectively over him. "You can't do that!" "I think you'll find I can," he replied. "We're just wasting time and power keeping him alive. Best to just pull the plug now." "How can you say that?! You don't know he won't wake up!" she protested. He started to step towards her, realisation dawning as his features became clearer. "Please, trust me Miss Sparkle… I know what I'm doing, believe me I do!" "No…" She winced under his feral gaze, cringed at his grating laughter. "You!" "Don't worry," Doom growled, his horn glowing as the instruments started to, "I'll take good care of him." She jumped back as the wires and tubes holding Dusk sprung to life, wrapping around him like tentacles and carrying him over to Doom, who gripped him by the throat. She tried to run forward, but stumbled back when the floor crumbled away, leaving a huge gulf between her and him, his bed and the floor tumbling into the abyss below. "It really is for his own good, you know," purred Doom, carrying him away to another long drop. "I feel that any other attempts to help him will only make his condition worse." "No! Let him go! Let him go, you monster!" she screamed. "Give him back!" "Don't make this harder than it needs to be, Twilight," sneered Doom, holding him above the drop. "It'll all be over soon." She could see his eyes opening, feel them boring into her. They were already pleading the words he choked out to her. "Twilight… help me…" She started forward, but the ground beneath her gave way and she jumped back as it fell. "I… I can't!" She looked desperately over at him. "You're too far away!" "Please… help me…" he implored, weakly raising a hoof towards her. "I… I don't know… I don't know if I can!" she wailed. "I want to, I really do!" "What a shame." Doom shrugged while he leered. "You win some, you lose some." As quickly and as easily as when he'd broken Rainbow's wings, he let go, Twilight's cries mingling with the one she loved, plummeting to the darkness below. "NO! NO! NO!" She reached out uselessly across. "Dusk, please, NO!" "Don't worry," Blackhole growled behind her, "you'll be joining him!" She turned, saw his hoof crashing down and she was falling too, screaming and flailing helplessly into the darkness… She shot up in her bed, screaming for a few seconds before she remembered where she was. She was back home, in her bed. Not at the hospital, not falling off some cliff. Dusk was safe, Doom was gone and her mind was just playing games with her fears while she slept. There was nothing to worry about. Even Spike hadn't been awoken by her outburst, sleeping soundly on. Still, she knew she couldn't go back to sleep. Silently, she sat in the darkness, broken only by the small amount of starlight shining through the cracks in the curtains. She wiped away the cold sweat from her forehead, thinking over what she had just seen. Of course it was just a dream, she told herself. That was all past now. But she still had her fears, her doubts… would Dusk ever wake up? Could this have all been avoided if she'd just talked to him in the first place? Was Doom really gone? Had her spell just made things worse? Wasn't there anything else she could do? All of these questions cemented themselves in her mind and led only to the answer that she'd made a horrible mistake, leaving her coltfriend with nopony to watch him while he slept? What had she been thinking, coming back here and leaving him all alone in that hospital? She had to get back, right now and help him, be with him. She was just reaching for the light when she heard some kind of commotion outside. Knowing she'd have an excuse now to be awake, she turned on the lights in the library and went outside to investigate. "Thanks again for lending me Sapphire Statue, Twilight and the next one," Rainbow Dash was saying as they made their way back to the hospital the next morning. "It's no trouble. I'll be glad to have somepony else to talk to about the series." She smiled back at her. "Thanks coming along to the hospital with me today." "Eh, don't sweat it. Think of it as returning a favour," she assured. "Besides, I feel like I owe this visit to Dusk." "Why do you say that?" she asked. "You already went to see him three days ago." She hadn't been in the room when she had visited, so whatever she'd said was unknown to her. She'd learned her lesson about listening at the door. She looked around uneasily. "Yeah but… now I'm back to my old self, I get the feeling this time it's gonna be a little more legit, you know?" "I suppose that's true." She decided to disregard her apparent discomfort. "I'm glad you're not feeling so bitter about what happened anymore." "Yeah, it's cool," she shrugged. "I mean, you know, mostly…" "I understand why, but it's not entirely his fault," Twilight noted. "Yeah, I know, I get that," she said quickly. "I'm still coming to terms with it, but it's not as bad as it was. I still don't leave my friends in the lurch, even after… you know…" "I know and I'm relieved you're being mature about this." She smiled gratefully at her. "Dusk is a fan of the series too, you know." "Why shouldn't he be?" she asked with a grin. "These stories are awesome! Who in their right mind wouldn't wanna read them?" "Probably ponies who think reading is for eggheads?" she joked. "I'm just kidding, don't worry." "I knew that," she muttered, her cheeks a little red. "Come on uh, let's hurry up and get there already." "I intend to get there as quickly as I can." Twilight felt her worry set in. "I would have been there earlier today, if I hadn't slept in. How could I have slept in? I never sleep in. I've woken up at the same time every day, how could I sleep in?" "Considering you've been mostly awake three days straight, I'm not all that surprised." "But what if something happened at the hospital? Did they take good care of him? Has he gotten worse? What if-?" "Twilight! Cool it!" commanded the Pegasus, silencing her. "You keep that up, you'll both be in hospital. He'll be fine, nothing will have happened." "Yes… you're right…" She took a few deep breaths. "Sorry, I'm… I'm just worried." "Never would have guessed that," remarked Rainbow. "Relax, it'll all be fine. I got better in no time and I'll bet he's not far behind." "He might be…" She managed to quell some of her worries from that. "Thanks for that, Rainbow." "Don't mention it, as long as he's awake for that movie for Daring Do that's gonna be out soon," she chuckled. "He'd hate to miss that." "I can definitely agree with you there," giggled Twilight. "We were actually going gonna go see it when it does come out. It looks like it'll be great." "I thought you'd say that." Her head snapped up. "Hey, maybe we could all go see it!" Twilight mock-frowned at her. "Considering what happened the last time you were with me and Dusk to see a movie, you can forget it." "Hey, I'll behave myself this time. Mostly," she added, with a mischievous smile. Twilight felt another elation of laughter. She had been rather unsure having Rainbow along with her to visit Dusk today, considering all that had happened. Now though, she was reminded of how important the rest of her friends were and how much she needed them at this time. Just laughing now made her feel so much better, more than she could have expected. Almost like he was awake already… She didn't know if it was Rainbow's presence, the fact she'd gotten some proper sleep or that she would be back by Dusk's side that she was glad to be walking back through the hospital doors and she didn't really care either. She was going to be as determined and dedicated as ever in her promise, prepared for anything. Except for what the pony at the desk told them when they said who they were visiting. "I'm sorry, you didn't know? Dusk Noir was checked out of the hospital earlier this morning," she told them brightly. Her mind froze, her body seized up. Twilight was completely speechless. She had to have misheard her, because it sounded like she said Dusk had woken up and had left. Rainbow, however, wasn't. "Hold on, when you say 'checked out'…?" "I mean he awoke from his coma in the early hours of the morning and, after we ran a few physical and mental tests on him, was cleared to leave the hospital," she elaborated. "Then why weren't we told?" demanded Rainbow. "How we've been kept in the dark?" "Well, he requested that you not be told," she said with a puzzled look. "It was strange we thought, but he seemed adamant that you not be informed. Perhaps he wanted it to be a surprise." Twilight hadn't really registered those last words. Her mind was thoroughly convinced that it was still dreaming, that this was some kind of wonderful dream in which he had woken up and was waiting for her… or a prelude to some horrible nightmare. Either way, she had to know, had to see for herself. Ignoring the nurse's and Rainbow's calls, she sprinted off towards his room, teleporting some of distance in a bid to get there. She saw that it was true. His bed was empty and made. The machines were no longer connected to his prone form. His glasses, his necklace half, were gone. She looked down at his hat, her heart soaring, a smile coming to her face, tears of joy beginning to pool in her eyes. If this was a dream, she didn't want to wake up. "He's awake… he's awake!" She turned to Rainbow and the nurse, who had just arrived. "He's really awake! My Dusk is awake! This is… this is… it's wonderful!" "I know, it's great but still, why didn't he want us to know?" asked Rainbow, with a hint of suspicion. "You said it might be a surprise?" The nurse nodded, with a nervous look to Rainbow. "Well, that has to be it. He wanted it to be a surprise and he's at home right now, waiting for us. Waiting for me!" "I dunno- Twilight, wait!" Once again, she ignored her calls and galloped full pelt through the halls, teleporting or jumping if somepony or something got in her way. Pure happiness and relief fuelled her sprint through town, recalling perfectly the route to his house. The hardest days that she had ever lived in her life were finally over. It had only been five days, two for his time as Doom, three for his time in the coma, but they had felt like years, waiting for it all to be over, for the time he would come back to her and they would be happy again. She could say sorry for everything she'd done, everything she hadn't done, just hear him speak again… She galloped on, not letting anything impede her progress, until she reached the modest form of his home. She felt like her heart would burst out of her chest, sprinting up the drive and almost crashing into the door. "Dusk! Dusk, it's me, Twilight!" she called joyously. "I'm here! You don't know how much I've missed you!" She noticed the door had started to open and pushed it all the way. "Dusk, it's… me." She stopped when she her eyes beheld the interior. It was really somepony who knew Dusk and had been here would notice, especially her. Dusk's personal effects, of what little he had, were gone. His scarf and saddlebag were absent from the hook, the bookshelf had been cleared out in the living room and there was no sign of the pony who occupied it. Her mind started to comprehend the reason for this, though she really wanted to deny it, because she didn't want to think of what that meant. She was about to check upstairs, to look around town for anypony who might have seen him until she saw a piece of parchment resting on the table in the kitchen. One with his writing on it. Part of her wanting an answer, part of her not wanting to know, she levitated the letter to her and felt that all-too familiar aching feeling settle in her heart again, threatening to shatter it once more. My friends, Twilight If you are reading this, then you've arrived at my home to find that I and every trace of me I could bring of me, are gone. I tried not to leave anything, but I was in a hurry to go. Just a good thing I never had much to begin with, I suppose. Perhaps this wasn't what you were expecting from my awakening from what I've been told has been quite a long sleep. I don't remember a whole lot of that, but I recall enough and of what happened that I have caused all of you much pain, grief and suffering, the kind that I strived so hard to avoid, yet still failed. I'm not asking for your forgiveness in this aspect, for I know I don't deserve it. I'm telling you this to let you know I tried. I really did. You've most likely learned of the connection between me and my darker self. I'm sorry I never told any of you earlier, but I simply didn't have the courage. It looks like the result is the same anyway, because you should understand why I've done this, why I had to leave. I don't deserve friendship or love, after what I've done. I don't even deserve to live in this place, this town. I can't tell you where I've gone. This is hard enough without seeing any of you. I will never forget the times I've spent with you all, the happiness and joy we've all shared in, but I also can't forget what I've done to you because of my unwillingness to face what I have done. This is best for me, for all of us, that I go without any fuss, no goodbyes or tears, not that I'd imagine I'd get any at my departure. I'm sorry, I truly am. And Twilight, if you're reading this, know that I will always love you and most likely never stop. It's hard for me to leave you the most, but I have to. Thank you for freeing me of him, a kindness I can never repay you for. I don't feel his presence anymore, but I feel what he has done, old and new and that's something no spell can purge. Please, don't blame yourself. You did all you could and more and for that, I thank you. A thousand times, thank you. I don't deserve to be with you or any of you. Goodbye, my friends. I hope one day you'll forgive me, but it may be when I can never see you or anypony again. Not in this life, anyway. Sincerely and forever yours Dusk Noir. She had trouble reading the last few lines because those tears that had started to pool before were now falling, blotching the ink and obscuring the words. He was gone. He'd left Ponyville, left them, left her… after all that had happened… Now, she wanted this to be a dream, because anything would be better than this. In her despair, everything blurred together for a time. She didn't know when exactly Rainbow had arrived, found her, read the letter and left to get the others. All she knew was that after a few minutes of what might have been hours, she was sitting on the couch in his living room, Spike patting her leg comfortingly and Rarity with her leg around her. "There, there, Twilight," soothed the debutante gently. "It'll be okay…" "I… but he… he…" She gave up trying to talk through her tears and just descended into more sobs. "Can you believe that guy though?!" shouted Rainbow. "We all spend days waiting for him to wake up, some of us way more than others and then he thinks he can just up and leave? Just like that? "Ma thoughts exactly," agreed Applejack. "Okay, now first time ah can understand, second time is pushin' but third time, ah'm thinkin' ah'm just gonna have ta get ma rope an' hogtie him just in case he tries it again." "You mean this isn't the first time he's tried to leave because he thought it was what's best?" asked Ray, who was comforting Fluttershy, a little awkwardly, but managing. "Yes indeedy," nodded Pinkie. "If I had a bit for every time he's done that… well, I'd have three bits, but that's still three bits I'd rather not have." Ray pressed a hoof to his chin. "Hm… maybe I should upgrade, get a hammer or maybe a couple of bricks, if that's the case." "Ray, this is hardly the time for jokes!" snapped Rarity. "Dusk has gone and we need to find him!" "You think I don't know that?" retorted Ray. "I wanna find him too, even if I can understand why he left. That doesn't make it right though." "I… I think you're both right," put in Fluttershy, preventing a possible fight breaking out. "But… where do we look?" "Yeah, there's nothing in here that says anything." Rainbow waved the letter for emphasis. "Sounds to me like he doesn't wanna be found." "But we gotta try though, right?" spoke up Spike. "We can't just give up." "Ah agree, but without some kinda startin' point, it'll be like tryin' ta find a morbidly depressed needle in a very big haystack," reasoned Applejack. "Still, yer right Spike, we gotta try." "You can count me in for that," proclaimed Rainbow. "This one's gonna be a toughie, but I still wanna try," piped up Pinkie. "M-m-me too," stammered Fluttershy. "I'm… I'm not abandoning him." "I already said I was gonna do all in my power to help," reiterated Ray. "No way I'm backing down now." "Whether rain or shine, I shall also endeavour to assist. Though preferably not rain, it would ruin my mane, but I will do it for him," added Rarity. "For brothers in library-assistantship!" They all looked at him oddly. "What? It's a thing we have." "Even so, like you said, it'll be hard to find him without knowing where to look for him first," reminded Ray. "At least we knew where to start looking for you when you ran off AJ." Immediately upon hearing them all, Twilight chastised herself for despairing and giving up so easily when they hadn't even tried. Here she was, wallowing in her tears and sadness while he was out there with a possibility of being found, even if it was small. Even though she felt like she wanted to give up, Twilight could feel herself being strengthened by the thought of finding him and bringing him home. She had been through thick and thin with him to get where they were and regardless of what he might think, she wasn't going to rest until she had at least tried to find him and bring him back home. She had made a promise, after all and she wasn't going to see it broken, either by him or her. He'd never given up on her and she wasn't about to do the same. "Isn't… isn't…" She hiccupped and choked out a few more sobs, cutting her off. "Take it easy, Twilight," comforted Spike. "Give yourself a minute." "Yes, wait a little before speaking, I know this is hardest on you most of all." Rarity wiped away her tears and offered her the hankie. "Here, blow." Twilight did so and levitated it back. "Thank you…" "No trouble…" She looked at t with disdain and threw it away. "Now, what are you trying to say?" "I'm trying to say… sorry…" She sniffed and took a deep breath. "I'm saying that it's fairly obvious. Where he would have gone, I mean." "Well, not so much to us, so mind sharing?" asked Rainbow. "Don't you see?" They all looked blankly at her, but it was rather obvious. "Dusk had a dark side, became a completely different pony because of what his emotions and Discord's corruption drove him to become. Now he's… left… he would have gone to the only other pony in Equestria who knows exactly what he's been through." Now, their faces started to comprehend what she was saying. Spike voiced their thoughts first. "Hold on… do you mean that he's…?" "Exactly. He's gone to Canterlot, to see Princess Luna." Luna had been sleeping during the day, though not in a way that others might. When other ponies slept, their minds and bodies shut down almost completely, leaving them to the tender mercies of the dream world, very rarely remembering anything they saw. She was almost the same, but her mind remained alert, sitting in a moonlit meadow in the other world she watched over. For her, sleep was a time for thought as well as regaining her strength and she had a lot to think about. She conjured an image of her student, a memory from when he had been happy, spending a lesson with her. She allowed herself a smile at how attentive yet positive he was before remembering that it was just a memory, not the genuine article. Still, she felt both anger and sadness when she allowed it to turn into the feral, hate-filled vessel of Blackhole Doom. She glared and separated them so as to better think. Even so, she knew it wasn't much use. She had definitely ruled out that Dusk had just lost control. Something had been blocking her access to his dreams on the night it happened, meaning it had definitely been caused. It could be some kind of malevolent force acting on him, but Discord was encased in stone, so he couldn't be involved in this, Dusk had been nowhere near the statue and no other creature in Equestria could trigger this kind of transformation. She had felt part of the thing that had been blocking her, made familiar because she had once felt the same presence in her mind, twisting and growing her spite and hate until she became Nightmare Moon, another little gift from Discord. She'd called it the Corruption Entity, a sliver of chaos magic meant to instil the negative emotions of whoever was infected by it. It seemed possible, but she had been the only one ever to be infected by it and the original had been destroyed when the Elements had been used on her. It could be either Discord had created another before he was imprisoned again or somepony else had made it something similar to it. But the lord of chaos had hardly had the time to cast another spell. The other scenario didn't seem so likely either. Dusk had few enemies, as far as she knew and those he had didn't seem capable of creating such a piece of magic. It could be another adversary of the Elements long past, one she didn't know of, but she couldn't be sure. The princess of the night sighed and touched a hoof to her head. She could ponder all she liked, but this really wasn't giving her many answers, rather it raised more questions. Until Dusk awoke from his coma, she wouldn't be able to get any answers that wouldn't come directly from him. She had already cast her spell, but she didn't know how long it would be until it became effective, how deep in his mind he'd hid himself. It could be days, weeks, months, years until he might awaken. Even her power was limited in this area. She felt a familiar presence touch her mind with feather-like gentleness. "My sister, you're needed." Sending an affirmative down her mental link, along with some minor annoyance at being disturbed, Luna left her celestial plain and returned to her physical body, focusing to see Celestia withdrawing her horn from her own. "What need to you have of me, dear sister?" she asked, with a tone that suggested 'this had better be important.' "You know that I do not like to be disturbed." "I know perfectly well, thank you," she said, with a mischievous glint in her eye. "I learned that after I ran into your room when we were younger, making you think a hydra was attacking." "Do not remind me," muttered Luna, though she couldn't suppress a small smile. It was good to see that, after last night, her elder was back to her old self. "Now, unless Canterlot truly is under attack, I will return to my sleep if you felt like doing was reminiscing." "I'd have thought you would want to be awake for this. Somepony is here and has asked specifically to see you," she said, with a knowing smile. "Who? One of the Elements?" This confused her a little. "Why could they not speak to you if it was urgent?" That smile grew now. "I'm sure he would have done, but he was very particular in wanting to see you and I for one don't blame him one bit." "But why would… wait, he?" Luna raised her head attentively, feeling her hope building. "You mean… he's awake?" Celestia only stepped aside and gestured to the door. "Why don't you go and see for yourself?" Her drowsiness and annoyance forgotten, Luna practically flung the covers off her body, fast-walking towards the stairs that led to her and her sister's rooms. Upon reaching them, she looked down into the entrance hall, to where the sun streamed in through the high, grand windows and saw who was standing in its shadow. Even though she was partially expecting it, the shock of actually seeing him still hit her. She had hoped her spell would be effective, but she hadn't expected it to have worked this fast. "Dusk… my student, is that really you?" she asked disbelievingly. He shuffled on his hooves, not really looking at her. "I um… I hope I'm not… disturbing you…" "Not at all, I was just… just…" Words failed her completely, a well of emotions the kind she rarely felt consuming her completely. She didn't foresee the effect just hearing his voice had on her, let alone seeing him standing. Forgetting her royal composure completely, she almost flew down the stairs and embraced him, holding him close under her wings wrapped around him. "Dusk… you cannot comprehend how much it gladdens my heart to see you." She looked down to see him with his head near buried in her fur. "I have missed you, my subject." "I'm… I'm pleased to see you too, Luna," he murmured. "More than you know." "I could say the same…" She suddenly remembered herself and detached from him, regaining her former dignity. Now that she was closer, she could look him over in more detail and she could already see a drastic change. His posture was slouched, no pride in the way he carried himself. There hadn't been a whole lot before, but now it looked as if it was gone completely. The only piece of apparel that he typically wore was his glasses. His trilby hat was missing from his head, revealing a mane even more unkempt than usual and the necklace he wore wasn't being worn around his neck. On the rare occasion that his eyes did look into hers from behind his glasses, she saw nothing but guilt and sorrow welled up in them, the kind that actually made her want to comfort him with another embrace. But she knew that would only do so much. She of all ponies should know the most. "I um… I'm sorry again if I disturbed you," he repeated nervously. "I know that during the day is… when you rest, but…" "As I have said, it is no trouble," she assured. "I'm merely relieved to see that you're awake once more, after such a long sleep. As I have said I… I missed you greatly." "I'm glad somepony is then…" he murmured, more to himself than to her. "Thank you, by the way. It was your spell that helped to… guide me back, I suppose. Just like last time." "I strive to make sure that I'm there to make sure that my subjects are safe, which I like to think is doubly true for my friends," she said confidently. He smiled sadly at her, a small glint of hope in his eye. "I would say that's definitely true. It was… strange, being like that, I mean. I don't remember very much and what I do remember is either blurry or… things I'd rather forget." "I'd imagine so." She noted that she could still see some of the holes in his legs, where the tubes from machines had been inserted into his body. "Do you fare much better, other than it that area?" "About as well as you might expect, which isn't really all that well at all." He hung his head, rubbing his head. "I don't hear… him anymore, apart from in my memories. That's one thing I'm thankful for, at least." "As am I," she nodded. "But apart from that, what else do you feel?" "I um… I don't know… a lot," he answered vaguely. "I'm just tired mainly… really tired… I know that sounds strange, after what I just woke up from but… I'm really tired." "No, I do. I can see why you would be. After all…" She trailed off when she noticed that he was wearing his saddlebags and both looked quite full. "What is all of this?" Dusk glanced at them and lapsed into uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. Luna had a good idea of what he might have done, but she would rather hear it out of his mouth than make it sound like she was accusing him of something. He'd been through too much already to have to endure that. After opening and closing his mouth unsurely a few times, he finally answered. "I… I've left my home. In Ponyville. I left…" "I can see that clearly, but for what reason?" she persisted. "I'd rather… not talk about it…" Another thought crossed her mind. "Have the townsfolk evicted your for what happened, because if they have-!" "No, I… I don't even think they know, or remember." He shrugged his bags, like they were weighing down on his shoulders. "This was… my choice…" "Then why did you leave?" "Because I don't think I could bring myself to stay…" She waited for him to say more, but he didn't elaborate further. "What about your friends?" He diverted his gaze even further at the mention of that. "Do they know that you've left?" "I… I didn't see them, no…" He was practically forcing the words out of his mouth, having real difficulty saying them. "I've left them a note but… nothing else…" "But why would you-?" "Luna, with all due respect, I would rather not discuss what's happened," he said quietly. "I might later but… not now… please…" She nodded and refrained from asking. "Of course, I understand. So, if you have moved away from your residence there, what brings you here?" "Well… it's just… I don't want to seem presumptuous but…" He stopped, unable to continue. "Please, continue," she prompted gently. "What is it you would ask of me?" "I… I was hoping that… I mean, if you… you'd allow me to stay here for a bit…" he asked nervously. "I mean, if you don't, I could find somewhere in the city, but… I thought that since… well you and I we're… we have…" "I know, yes," she said, saving him the trouble of explaining himself. "If you do need somewhere to rest, then we have a room used for esteemed guests in Canterlot that might be to your liking. You can take as much time as you need, as long as my sister has no objection." Celestia, who was watching nearby, shook her head. "I see no problems. After what's happened to you, Dusk, I feel that you'd benefit some time to yourself." "I… I um… thank you, Your Highnesses," he said, with a bow. "I normally wouldn't ask but…" "It is no trouble, Dusk. You are my friend and student, I would say that grants you certain privileges." She stepped aside, gesturing with her wing. "It's the door at the end of the corridor upstairs. I'll have the guards here see to it that nopony bothers you." "I appreciate that. Thank you, again…" He lingered for a moment, shuffling on his hooves and trudged up the stairs, head still hung, almost no real will guiding him there. She suddenly remembered another reason she had been waiting for him to wake up. "Dusk, a moment. I must ask you something." He looked back forlornly. "Yes, Luna? Though, if it's about… what I've done…" His eyes locked in hers again and she was reminded that her own endeavours could probably be out on hold for now. Her student didn't really seem to be in the mood for answering anymore questions of any kind. "Never mind, it can wait." She did her best to smile. "Rest well, my friend." "Thank you, Luna. Sorry again for disturbing yours…" He attempted to return it, failed and trudged off again. "Poor thing…" Her elder sister waited until he was gone before joining her younger sibling. "I'm getting a strange sense of déjà vu from this, you know." "You think you're the only one?" she said, a little more harshly than intended. "You know as well as I do what he's been through, what he's still going through." "I never said I didn't." Her expression was neutral looking at her. "What are you going to do then?" "What else can I do, other than what I intend?" she replied. "I intend to help him through this, to do what I can to get through this. I am the only one who can." "You're not the only one who thinks so," reminded her elder. "Regardless of whatever he may have written in his note, it's a safe bet that the others will soon figure out where he's gone and come here looking for him. What are you going to do then?" "If he wishes to speak to them, then I will let them. If not…" She paused for a moment to consider her next words. "Then I shall have to turn them away." "You would do that? Even to Twilight?" "He needs some time to himself, to come to terms to what has happened before he might even consider facing them again," she defended. "I intend to do what is necessary, my sister, even though it may not be kind." "I know." She made her way to the doors. "He can't stay hidden away forever though. He will have to face up to what's happened eventually. You understand that?" "I do. That doesn't mean it's any easier though." Celestia didn't say anything else, only leaving in the entrance hall. She went to inform the guards of her instructions, but remained in the entrance hall. She would normally have returned to bed, but these weren't exactly normal circumstances. She was still learning about friendship herself, having to deal with her subjects as her friends. She knew what she should do, but wasn't exactly sure how to go about it. Questions tumbled over each other in her brain while she gazed towards the door. Did Dusk want some company but wasn't sure if he should ask for it or was she right to leave him alone for a while until he was ready? By then, what exactly should she say to him? She understood what had happened to him, but how would she go about comforting him afterward? Should she ask Celestia for help? No, Dusk was her student and her responsibility. Her older sibling seemed to think she could handle this just fine on her own, so she would see fit to do so. Besides, she would have something else to deal with first before Dusk and she expected they would arrive fairly soon once they figured out where he was. They came about ten minutes later, all together and looking equally worried in their own way. "Princess Luna." Twilight Sparkle bowed, though she didn't appear as composed as she normally did. "Princess Celestia said you would be here. We're here to find out if… if Dusk came here…" "He has, yes," she responded levelly. "Do you know where?" asked Rarity. "May we see him?" "We're kinda worried about him," added Applejack. "Some-a us more'n others." She glanced back at the door before answering. "I do, but I feel it would be best that he be left alone for the time being." "What?!" Rainbow Dash looked outrage. "You can't just keep us from seeing him!" "Do not presume to tell me what I can and cannot do, Rainbow Dash," she replied sternly. "I can do this and I will too. He has been through a very traumatic ordeal and he needs time to himself to recover." "But we've been waiting for him to wake up for a really, really, really long time!" Pinkie halted a moment. "Well, maybe not that long, but it feels like a really long time. Can't we at least see for a bit? Did he have his cupcakes?" "No, you cannot… wait, what cupcakes?" she asked. "That's not important, princess," cut off Twilight. "Please, can't we see him? At least ask if he wants to talk?" "If it's not too much trouble, that is," stammered Fluttershy. "Please, princess? We… we only want to see our friend." "No, I have already-!" Luna realised from Fluttershy's reaction that she was speaking too loud and lowered her voice. "I know that this is difficult, but he needs time to adjust to what has happened. Try returning tomorrow, but for today… I think he would prefer to be alone." If anymore were about to protest, they were prevented by the newest addition speaking up. "We understand, Your Highness. We'll come back tomorrow. Can you at least tell him we were here though?" "I will mention it to him, Ray Strike," she promised. "I'm sorry, but I do feel this is best." "Don't worry, I do too." She saw something, a flash of a deeper understanding in his eyes before he gestured with his head to the door, leading the other Elements reluctantly out. Luna watched them go and sighed. Being a princess and being a friend could be difficult at times. Perhaps he would be more receptive tomorrow though. But she didn't hold much hope for that when she looked back and saw the door to the guest room close after being allowed to stand ajar. Just enough to allow the occupant to hear what had happened.