The Great Leader and I had a friend of his arrange for us all a reservation to a ritzy restaurant in the Lap of Luxury hotel across the street, aptly named the Stillwaters diner. Dressed in our finest, we entered the restaurant while our hostess was kind enough to lead us to the table that was cordoned off especially for us, and without being asked to. I could tell that she was a professional.
Right away, several of the chefs recognised my boyfriend and started to cheer 'We praise you!' in their native tongue (Cosararan) in support of his leadership, mainly praising his hard work for the people of the country he leads.
Once seated at our table, I divulged everything.
"Before we begin, I have a confession to make."
Twilight was the first to respond.
"We're all listening."
"I wish to inform you all that the Great Leader is officially my boyfriend."
Rainbow Dash spoke, eyes gaping open in disbelief.
"Oh, Celestia... why?!!"
I continued.
"Yesterday evening, I decided to tell him about my feelings for him. He was so overwhelmed with his emotions and all that every ounce of grief that built up inside his soul over the death of his first wife was melted away by my thoughtful words."
"Aww!"
"I love him with all my heart, therefore I want you all to establish personal limits when engaging in conversation with him, especially when you're talking about our deep relationship."
"Okay..."
"From this day forth, nopony is to lay claim of love to him, nopony is to enter any form of dating relationship with him, and most importantly, nopony is to converse with him in a way that provokes undesirable thoughts, such as cheating and the like.
"I also will not condone any form of polyamory involving the Great Leader, as that can damage our relationship. So me and Luna will be checking in on you all on a regular basis as a precaution against polyamory."
Everypony was looking on me, confused. I cleared my throat.
"To put it in simple terms I do not want anypony to be in any relations with my boyfriend that go against our own terms when it comes to our own deep, loving relationship."
I paused for a moment, leaning in to give the Great Leader an assuring kiss.
I continued. "And Sister?"
"Yes, Celestia?" my sister replied, making sure to pay extra-close attention.
"I want our own officials to be notified about this relationship."
"Okay..."
"I also want it to be proclaimed to all Equestria that I am in love with the Supreme Leader of Cosarara, and that any form of polyamory that goes against our own relations will be met with most severe consequences."
"I realise that you're in love, but why do you have to be this controlling - "
"Quiet! Continuing from what I was saying, allow me to please deal personally with penalising anypony who is found to be in an illegitimate relationship with boyfriend, the Supreme Leader of Cosarara.
"My final request this evening is that you kindly recognise me and the Great Leader's relations as the only legitimate relationship allowable when it comes down to him and I, with every other pony..."
I shifted my attention to a random young woman who happened to be looking at him.
"...or person...
Going back to my requests, "... legally barred from proposing a relationship with him, with exception to business and friendly relations only.
"Do you wish for me to repeat anything?"
I noticed a look of unease on Luna's face by my requests, as she thought doing so would mean that she, as well as every other being on Earth, would be legally obligated to stay away from him. And from her perspective, he would become a social hermit. I told her to not push it.
Meanwhile everypony else was trying to wrap their heads around what exactly just unfolded.
Twilight voiced her concerns first.
"Your Highness, why would you be so carried away with this relationship stuff that you would be willing to just about suck him into his shell? He's just now allowed foreigners to see all the hard work he's done!"
"I'm mainly concerned about her cheating, and that is why I'm doing this."
"But Celestia - "
Rainbow Dash then got the idea to interrupt.
"You finally got it into your royal head that communists are cheaters! Let this be a lesson to ya: Communists. Always. Cheat."
She even had the nerve to tell him a half-baked joke, based completely from her own hateful beliefs!
"Hey! Hey communist, hey!"
He jumped up at that remark and assumed a disgruntled mood.
"WHAT?!"
"Okay, okay, okay, let's say you're visiting the jail up at Arlington - "
"Shut your mouth!"
" - and you're walking to a detainee, and you start a conversation."
"Not listening. Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala ..."
Rainbow Dash tries to raise her voice to tell the rest of her pathetic insult, but her train of thought was interrupted by a certain pink party-pony.
"Ooooh... it's time to sing! Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala ..." She continued until she was in tune with the Great Leader's palaver.
The light-blue coloured pegasus let out a deafening shriek. Going back to her insult, she put her thinking cap back on.
She then assumed a mediocre Russian accent. "You'd say, 'Why are you here, comrade?' and - "
"SHUT IT!"
"And then the detainee says, 'Because you gorillas don't wanna let us out! That's why!', and then he starts shaking the bars..." she says, beginning to break down in laughter.
I intervened. "Rainbow Dash, that was definitely not nice at all! Apologize right now!"
The Great Leader makes his own insult. "Yeah! That's right! Apologize, ya fat ass!"
"Sorry, my flank," she spurts out.
My sister, Luna, puts on her serious face. "APOLOGIZE!"
Rainbow Dash apologizes, taken aback.
Rarity asked a question similar to my student's.
"Excuse my curiosity, but do you truly want to follow through with this? Have you even given any of this any thought?"
"Like I said before, I am concerned about him cheating."
"So why in Equestria do you want to cement everything with a stack of legal documents?"
"As for that question, it's so that the whole relationship has something to lean on in the case that is doesn't work out."
Fluttershy asked the next question.
"When are you two going to have your first date? That's what I want to know!"
Pinkie Pie interrupted.
"Ooooh, I just know it's going to be at Sugarcube Corner! There'll be lots of heart-shaped decorations, romantic music, chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate, all for Celestia and her boyfriend!"
I had to resist the urge to chuckle after Pinkie's little outburst. She's always so energetic...
My sister was the next to speak.
"How are you two lovebirds going to communicate when you're away from each other?"
Right off the top of my head, "That's easy - we can chat through Skype. Does that not sound good?"
The Great Leader nodded an assuring yes. I reached down to his height to kiss him on the lips one more time.
"Anyways..."
Applejack, in my boy's eyes as an honest, hard-working farmer, rose from her seat to ask her question.
"First of all, ah wanna give ya both a good ol' 'YEEHAW!' fer bein' such good friends!
"But ah reckon that this is where it'll start gettin' serious? Fergive me, Princess, ah read a lot of romance novels and what have ya."
Everyone had to chuckle a bit at that remark. I, too, romantic novels and stories, some on the naughty side, in my spare time, but I think my boy already knows...
Aplpejack continued. "While ah reckon you'd be gettin' along with him purty fast, you'll need ta start with puttin' some boundaries between the two of ya, 'cuz ah know that boys have them... how do ah put this here gently?..."
"Go on?"
"... feelin's toward ya."
It was a bit difficult to answer in simple terms.
"While I have grown to know him personally, and you're right about the 'feelings', I know in the bottom of my heart that he's mature enough to handle them." Noticing him coming to rest his tired head on my chest, my voice began to soften. "And would you look at that? He's already tired." A kiss on his forehead drifted him to sleep completely.
"AWWWW!!!"
Continuing in a quiet voice, almost at a whisper, I continued with my reply.
"I assume you've all seen his rage fit this morning?"
"Yep."
"This is one of the reasons that, I believe, you might have suggested some limits. I'm sure that Twilight has figured out that when he doesn't get whatever he wants he goes into a rage fit.
"This is also a reason why I want to make our relationship the sole legitimate one between him and I - for his own protection. To add on to that, alcohol, tobacco, drugs, caffeine, sugar, and the like might only be helpful in exacerbating the problem. So I would use my own good judgement when bringing that kind of stuff into his environment, you know? His surroundings.
"To put it all together, let's just say that there will be limits."
"Wow, ah've never seen anypony put 'er all together like that," Applejack replied.
"Now if you'll excuse me, I want to take things a small bit further between the Great Leader and I."
I gave Twilight his credit card. "Twilight, take his card and use it to pay for our dinner."
And with that, I left for Mango Beach with my boy on my back.