I swam in darkness… I don’t know for how long. I couldn’t even see myself, or feel myself, yet still somehow felt like I existed.
Light suddenly appeared, and I found myself in a paradise filled with large crystalline buildings, and a magnificent palace at its center. Ponies were everywhere, and they seemed oddly afraid. Why, though…
Suddenly, clouds began to swirl about in the sky, twisting into what looked like a giant, grinning face with a mocking expression of some sort for a moment. Then a building suddenly became a house of cards, and another turned into a giant flower pot. Ponies suddenly began running in terror as another crystal building exploded, shards flying all around knocking fleeing ponies to the ground while other homes became chunks of multi-colored rock candy. That cruel laugh that had been haunting me for days could be heard as those not pummeled by debris continued to run. To add to it all, I couldn’t control any of my actions; it was like watching a documentary movie in 3D.
“What’s happening here?!” ‘I’ cried out, my voice matching Cadance’s as weird geyserlike explosions suddenly erupted from the ground that I swear smelled like soda, blasting random ponies up thousands of feet into the sky. “No! Stop!” ‘I’ pleaded, and suddenly in a flash of light ‘I’ was inside the castle.
Discord stood before me, sneering. Outside a cartoon he looked far more monstrous, less goofy more uncannily menacing. ‘I’ charged up magic, the Crystal Heart near me, and the draconequus cocked his head.
“Oh my, what do you intend to do with that, Princess?” The God of Chaos asked.
“Why don’t I show you! Shining Armor may be away at Canterlot but I can still stop you!” ‘I’ stated, my horn glowing and resonating with the Crystal Heart. “The heart is positively charged, it can end your rampage once and for all, Discord!” I replied, trying not to hide my fear.
“Yipes! Perhaps it WAS a mistake to come here, can you EVER forgive me, Princess?” He asked, cowering then leaning forward in the air in a begging pose with what I could only describe as ‘puppy dog eyes’… only to bust out into hysterical laughter seconds after.
“Laugh while you can, Discord! You may have overpowered my aunt, but I won’t underestimate you like she did!” ‘I’ shouted back, the Crystal Heart glowing brighter and brighter. Discord paused and raised an eyebrow, curious… then his curious expression became one of sheer terror as he was blasted by a bright beam of light that tore a hole clean through his chest. The God of Chaos let out one last horrible death scream as cracks began to appear all over him, light erupting from them before exploding violently, his remains evaporating away like smoke. ‘I’ let out a sigh of relief and looked around. The other ponies who were still there were surprised, but smiled in relief as well. It would seem the power of the Crystal Heart had managed to destroy him.
“His tyranny is over. Now let’s send word to Canterot right away and—” Before ‘I’ could finish talking, Discord’s laughter could be heard again, and I felt 'my' body grow cold with fear. The laughter seemed to be everywhere, the crystal ponies looked about, terrified beyond belief and suddenly, a stick of some sort appeared under the Crystal heart, an eagle claw grasping it, then a long, feathered torso grew from the birdlike appendage, then a lion’s paw, a goat leg, a dragon leg, and a long, scaly red tail with a furry tuft at the end, and finally, a long gray neck started to magically form from between the shoulders, and like an inflating balloon, a head resembling a cross between that of a horse and a goat’s with an antler and horn, with a large right fang and smug grin on its face formed, and a bird and bat wing popped out of the back for good measure.
“Alright, on a scale of one to ten, how would you rate THAT little show? Discord asked, looking around and raising up the Crystal Heart-on-a-stick and giving it a lick as though it were a lollypop.
“N-no… i-i-it’s… n-not possible!” ‘I’ stammered, backing away as Discord’s smug grin didn’t falter.
The draconequus pat his chest proudly with his lion paw. “You really thought you had me there? That was no more then a shadow; put there to dupe you into that false sense of victory so I could savor the looks on you and your subjects’ faces when you realized it wasn’t over!” He declared with a laugh. “Awww, come now, Princess, did you think anything OTHER then the Elements of Harmony had even the FAINTEST chance of stopping me? Especially when, just between us, I’ll have you know I have a truly spectacular amount of love in my heart! An all-consuming love for absolute chaos!” He said with another laugh, then proceeded to lick the Crystal Heart again and smirked. “Mmm, tastes like raspberry! By the way, Shining Armor says hi.” Soon as those last words left that smug sneering mouth of his I could feel all the rage of Tartartus building up inside ‘me’
“Attack! Use everything you have!” ‘I’ cried out, clearly panicked now. Unicorn guards and ‘I’ fired blasts of magic at Discord, who, without even looking, simply snapped his paw’s fingers and the guards vanished in a flash of light. He then looked straight at me.
”You know how they say love conquers all? Well I say THEY’VE never been faced with real chaos!” He declared.
“Where's Shining Armor you monster?!” ‘I’ shouted furiously.
“Oh he’s FINE!” The chimeric monster said with a handwave, chuckling. “For now anyway. Maybe I'll just put him up to his neck inside a giant cupcake and leave him on a roof for your subjects to see! But don’t worry, I’ll get to him later… after I remodel the decor of this place a little. Honestly, does everything in here come in blues? SO dull, you’re a royal couple live a little! Even King Sombra with his red and black and cliché all over had better style!” Discord said with a disapproving eyeroll that involved his pupils literally rolling to the back of his head and popping back out the front.
He was lying... I could see it in his eyes. He mentioned Shining Armor… he had to have already done away with him. Giving ‘me’ some ridiculous glimmer of hope he was alive was purely for cruelty so he could taunt ‘me’ all the more. With that, Discord tossed his makeshift lollipop aside, the Crystal Heart sliding away to the corner, devoid of any power now. ‘I’ charged up my magic once more, but again he snapped his fingers and I could feel all of my power fading away rapidly.
“Now now, my little princess of love! I’ve got special plans for you and everypony else…” Discord said, literally drinking a martini glass he summoned and letting whatever had filled it splash to the floor as he hovered in the air in a reclining position. “Honestly, the others put up a better fight. Guess you’re just out of your element when it doesn’t involve the power of twoo wove!” He said in a babying voice with a wide grin as he flew right up in 'my' face, and I felt him pinch 'my' cheek in mock affection. “But oh I may have been too easy on a lot of the others… If I’m going to keep YOU down, I’ll simply have to see to it a happy ending NEVER crosses your mind again!”
‘I’ back away, knowing I was beaten…
Five score divided by four...
Your memories removed, your bodies confused…
With my deeds true love is lost,
And it shall be you who'll face the cost!
Before it's done, what you've stood for, in the end shall be no more!
Your mind shall be weak, your outlook bleak!
Shattered hopes and a broken heart you shall endure,
And with these words, my victory is secure!
A brilliant flash of light, and I saw reality slowly fade around me, then looked down in horror as ‘my’ body began to dissolve and rip apart like sand and confetti, numbness setting in where nothing remained, it was a horrible feeling, as though I were literally and slowly being unmade!
~
My eyes snapped open and I screamed in terror, thrashing about and realizing I could barely move, I was surrounded in something. I managed to pause long enough to realize I was inside a blanket that had become wrapped around me, almost like a cocoon now thanks to how much movement I must have been doing while having that nightmare. I felt weird all over, swimming in a sea of blanketing and as I tried to push my hand up, I could faintly make out its silhouette in the dim light, discovering my hand no longer existed, instead a stump… no, a hoof had replaced it! Trying to roll over, I felt large lumps on my back, no doubt the wings I’d grown last night, and my legs and what were once my arms felt extremely weird, bending in ways they weren’t the night before. Taking a few breaths, I pulled myself towards an opening and crawled out, taking a deep breath of fresh air when I surfaced, climbing out of the blanket. I tried to stand, and immediately toppled right over, coughing from all the stagnant air that had build up inside the blanket. Rolling on my back, I leaned myself against the couch, looking around. The pizza box was still there where I left it, and the TV was now playing that awful finale episode’s last moments, and the credits rolled, causing me to shudder.
I tried to reach for the remote, then remembered my hands were gone, and I brought my new hoof to my face, discovering a full pony snout had formed. My mane felt longer somehow… or maybe just proportionate to my body… everything in the room did look bigger now. I looked down at myself and another shudder of horror escaped me.
“Oh no, no, no, no, noooo…” I moaned. Nothing human remained, my body was entirely pony now. I could only assume everything from the neck up was, now, too. I tried to turn my head to see my back, and found it surprisingly easy thanks to my longer neck. The wings were fully grown now, folded neatly against my back. My long, feminine tail and mane were somewhat mussed thanks to my time in blanketland, both a perfect combination of purple, pink, and a whitish-gold color. I instinctively moved my hoof to my head, feeling the prominent horn on top. It too, felt larger, but probably because of body proportion. I needed to find a mirror, badly.
Mirror… mirror… my bedroom closet’s doors!
I immediately tried to get up again, only to fall right on my face once more. This was not like how a human crawled on all fours, in which case you had your hands and knees, or working a quadruped suit, where you had stilts and handles to work with. No, these were real appendages, very different from what humans would be used to. When I concentrated, trying to stand carefully and balance on my new hooves, it took a few tries to keep straight. When I did, I let out a sigh of relief and looked over to the hall that lead to my bedroom. “Alright, let’s do this…” I said, moving my left foreleg, then my left hind leg… and promptly fell over. Growling a very feminine growl, I reared back and pushed my hooves against the wall and tried to stand on my hind legs, but even that didn’t last as my body shape did not accommodate that pose for long and I slid back down. Looking at my wings again, I tried to see if I could move them.
Honestly, how did they manage an extra set of appendages? I often wondered. I tried tensing my back muscles, and they moved slightly. Guess I’d need practice… not that it’d do a lot of good in an apartment with a narrow hallway. That left one option; I had to learn to walk in this body, like it was meant to. Looking down at my hooves, I tried to think of a way to do this right as I didn’t want to have to go through the trouble of standing up again. Forelegs… left one and right two. Back legs, left three and right four. Odd and even then even and odd? Worth a try. “One. Four.” I moved my left foreleg, then my right hind leg, and my balance remained decent. “Two. Three.” I said, moving my right foreleg and back hindleg. After a few more tries, I tried moving faster and went in a circle until I was certain I’d gotten the hang of it, and somehow, it slowly seemed to feel instinctive. Satisfied, I headed off to my room, nudging the door open with a hoof and entering. My lights were still out and the room was dark given the shades were down. Looking over at my light switch, I tried to concentrate and I felt my horn charging. The switch glowed and the room was lit. The mirrored door was just a couple steps ahead and to the left, parallel to my bed. Taking a deep breath, I moved forward and turned to look at myself.
Oh. My. GOD. Yesterday’s discoveries were nothing compared to this.
Looking back at me, with the same look of shock and horror on her face was a beautiful, pink alicorn mare with a long, flowing mane and tail of three colors; purple, magenta pink, and yellow-white; both fine as silk. Her curved, slender body had a graceful build with her cutie mark showing prominently on her firm flanks. Her large, purple eyes were wide with surprise, her horn poked through her slightly disheveled mane, and her wings were neatly folded on either side of her back. That long tail swished back and forth for a second as I stared at the pony who looked back.
“H…Hello, Cadance…” I said, my voice just as hers sounded in the show as the pony in the mirror mouthed my words in perfect synchronization.
No… that couldn’t be me now… it couldn’t… I was a male human not a female alicorn! I cowered back a little, collapsing to my haunches and squeezing my large eyes shut. “This isn’t right! This isn’t right!” I cried out. “Please go away! You’re not me!” I opened them again and saw the reflection had not changed. I brought my hoof up, running it through my long mane. She looked so frightened, like I was… instinctively I got up and approached the reflection, now standing only a foot away from the mirrored doors. Slowly, I raised up my hoof again, placing it on the door as my reflection did the same and I lowered my head, looking down at myself, then back at the reflection and noticed tears had begun to form in her large eyes when denial had faded and reluctant defeat began to sink in. There was really no way around it… the mare in the mirror was me.
As I’d feared, my life, Cale Amos’ life, was truly and utterly over. What the hell… HOW in the hell was Cadance going to survive in this world? I could feel the tears that had already formed begin to flow. I never cried like this before… was it my new gender’s emotions or did I finally begin to crack? Falling to the floor, I covered my muzzle and sobbed for I don't know how long. “I don’t want to be this…” I cried, gritting my teeth. “Please… just give me back my life… I was so close to fixing it all!”
That’s the beauty of it all… a voice suddenly said in my mind, causing me to jump and topple backward. Did I just think that? The voice was male but didn’t sound like my old voice… yet why did it sound familiar?! I looked around but there was no one there but me. I looked back at my reflection, Cadance’s frightened expression looking back at me till it softened as mine did. I closed my eyes and took a few breaths, then reopened them, looking at the alicorn reflecting back.
Maybe it was that instinctive need for amusement, some sort of escapism from all the misery in order to prevent a psychotic breakdown… I believe they call it ‘gallows humor’, but that fear and confusion from the voice that had spoken to me faded, and curiosity of my new body took over. Standing up and approaching, I turned my head left and right, and turned myself sideways so I could get a better look at this body. Cadance was in excellent shape, though more like a model then an athlete. Even with her mane and tail a bit messy from the way I’d slept inside a rolled-up blanket last night, and her lack of jewelry she usually had on in the show; she still had a magnificent, elegant beauty to her that made it no surprise Shining Armor would have fallen for her so hard. As I attempted, despite the drama of the last few days and today, to smile, I couldn’t help but grin a little, her smile was as heartwarming as it was in the show… which I suppose is fitting given her theme and talent centers around love.
Looking back at my wings, I tried to focus the muscle there, feeling the extension there and tried to concentrate enough to tense them and figure out these extra limbs. Slowly but surely, my wings unfolded and spread wide. I stared in awe; they were... beautiful... the countless feathers were different shades of pink, with a few traces of purple, looking nothing less then majestic when spread like this. I tensed again, this time putting more focus on them and they gave a crisp flap that made me stumble a little. “Whoa, okay. Note to self… practice outside when I get the chance.” I said, making a few tries at just folding and unfolding the wings and resumed studying my reflection. There had to be something else I could do in this body to get my mind off things for a little bit.
~
Needless to say, an idea came to mind, one I’m not entirely proud to admit now but I was getting desperate for ways to fight this grief and a halfhour later, I was laying on my back, wings stiffly spread out while I was staring at the now slightly dented, hoofprint-laden back frame of my bed. “So that’s why they call it that…” I muttered, letting myself fall backward again as I stared blankly up at the ceiling in disbelief at what I’d gone and done. When I finally got the strength back in my body and my wings finally felt like folding back up again, I turned myself over and faced the mirrored doors again, my forehoof hanging over the side of the bed as the rest of me just lay flat atop the bedcovers, an exhausted look on my face. My large eyes turned towards my radio clock and it read a solid 3:47 and sure enough, I felt hungry. Climbing off the bed and walking to the kitchen, I pushed the refrigerator door open with my hoof, and levitated some mini-carrots out; probably one of the few things in there I could still eat. Heading back to the living room, I levitated the pizza box and had it follow me, humming to myself as I returned to the kitchen and set its contents into the oven and magically switched it on, earning a smile of satisfaction in getting the hang of this telekinesis. A small victory in a sea of defeats, though.
Returning to the living room and trying some of the carrots, I noticed they tasted way better then before and went through several before I even realized it. Trying to turn the TV on, I looked at the remote and managed to make it switch with magic thanks to some effort. Settling on SyFy, I decided to see what corny stuff they’d air now.
Before I could think much on it, my phone suddenly rang, startling me and causing my mini-carrot bag to fall to the floor. Alice had attempted to reach me again. By this point I wouldn’t blame her for being worried sick about me. I guess I gotta talk to her at some point… I thought to myself.
Trying to open it with hooves proved fruitless. “Stupid hooves!” I grumbled, trying to work it but to no avail. Finally I tried magic; the phone opened and I pressed the on button. “Yeah?” I asked.
“Uh… who is this?” Alice asked.
“Who do you think it is?” I asked, a little annoyed.
“Angela?” Alice inquired.
“No. She’s still never come by. Who else would it be?”
“Whoa, Cale moved on… I guess it’s about time, but he could have told me that was wh—“ She began.
“This IS Cale, Alice! Remember what was happening to me when I was over there? Well guess what, it got worse. WAY worse!” I protested, it was a little odd to hear a character who normally was so mild-mannered have such an angry voice.
“W-wait, so that wasn’t just me seeing things… oh god…” Alice said.
“God has nothing to do with it, or if he does, I’d like a word with him about this because believe me I'm NOT amused!” I replied. “It didn’t stop with the hair and ears. Next came the hooves, the fur, and finally just the whole damn pony package… new gender included!”
“Okay, okay, just hold your horses—“ She began, earning an angry snort from me. “…Sorry, bad analogy. I mean hang on, I’ll be right there.” She said.
“No, you won’t! I can’t see you now. Or anyone ever again! Not like this! I’m serious!” I answered, hanging up before she could answer and then collapsing to the floor, sobbing as everything I’d tried to get my mind off of quickly came back to haunt me.
“One creature’s torment is another creature’s delight!” An all too familiar voice said, I turned and saw that SyFy was airing Star Trek, and sure enough John De Lancie was playing the signature role he’d had before Discord. Somehow, though, his lines seemed all too relevant to my situation.
“Wouldn’t you agree, Cale… or should I say, Cadance?” the screen went wavy and then there stood Discord, surrounded by frozen Star Trek footage. “Such intriguing forms of entertainment this world’s inhabitants conceive, though I must admit the newer things seem to have far less thought put in them… doesn’t make them any less amusing, though...” He said, waving his paw over the frozen characters’ eyes before looking back at me for an answer, but I was too frozen in fear to respond.
“Okay, it’s rude to stare, Princess. Perhaps if you won’t have your friend over, you won’t mind me popping by for a little bit!” he said, snapping his fingers and he vanished from the show, and appeared right before me, causing me to scoot myself backward.
“How’s life been treating you? Oh, nevermind, I already know. I have to admit normally I take a less active role in the life and times of you ponies, but with you I thought I’d try a different approach!” He said, circling around me. “Go ahead, ask me why.” He said, flopping down on the sofa and snapping his claw, the carrots in the bag I dropped turn into cartoon fish that swam around the room in random directions.
“…Why?” I asked, shaking. I didn’t know how to use Cadance’s full power, how could I expect to do anything to the God of Chaos when he was sitting in my living room?
“BECAUSE IT’S FUN!” He said loudly, letting out a laugh. “What, you expected some long, cheesy exposition like our devoted fans no doubt did?” He asked.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. I swear none of that made sense, but then again, recalling Discord such thought patterns were probably normal for him.
“Seeing your misery, your pain, and of course finding yourself now stuck like, well, that… what’s not to find enjoyable to follow and see what direction things take you next?” He asked. “By the way, you’re quite the naughty little Princess if I may say so…” the draconequus said with a chuckle, causing me to turn red as I got what he was talking about.
“You’ve been watching me this whole time…” I said at last.
“I see a lot, but this is far from over. On the contrary, my dear, your misery’s only just begun and it’s done wonders to keep you from being little more then entertainment!” He said, letting out a long, cruel laugh as he was suddenly inches from my face. “If only Shining Armor could see you now…” He said in a sing-song voice. For some reason, I felt really angry when he said those words but I didn’t know why. I lunged at him, only to go right through him as though he were a ghost, and for my efforts my horn was now embedded into the couch cushions. Strugging, I pulled it out and Discord was now hovering in the air, reclining.
“I suppose that was to be expected. Even worse then when last we met. Enjoy your life, Cadance, you’re going to be living it for a very long time!” He said, laughing…
…and I woke up screaming. After a few short breaths, I finally calmed down enough to smell my pizza slices ready. On TV was some cheesy movie that one would think in this day and age would have had better writing and better CG for a network that prided itself on science fiction, the carrot bag was where I left it and the sofa didn't have any damage. It was all a dream… all a dream… or so it seemed.
Getting my remaining slices out, I let them cool down and ate them, at least I could still enjoy this, ponies were a little more flexible with foods then actual horses, thankfully. I couldn’t stop thinking about that dream, though… and how I was told I’d be living like this for a very long time…
Was I gonna be like this forever? I wondered, looking down at myself, my tail flicked to the side as if confirming that thought. I was right, my life was over. I needed to talk to someone… anyone… soon as it got dark I’d see if I could give these wings a good test.
~
That night, I’d managed to practice enough to stay airborne. Somehow, once again when I got the hang of something ponies did, it seemed almost instinctive afterwards. Clouds were gathering, and I remembered a thunderstorm would be on its way soon. If I wanted to get where I wanted to go, I’d have to move fast. A satchel Angela had left behind carrying my wallet and a few personal effects secure around my neck, I took to the air and headed off to my destination.
The rain had started falling just as I landed on the porch of the apartment I’d sought to find. Taking a deep breath, I tapped on the door with my hoof, fluttering in front of the peephole so the occupant would know what to expect. The door opened and I was greeted by Alice, who took one look at me and complete shock and disbelief came on her face.
“Hey, Alice… I guess I got a lot to explain about the last few days.” I said.