//------------------------------// // Introspection // Story: How my Little Brother Became an Alicorn // by WiseFireCracker //------------------------------// The shadows were all-encompassing. Beneath me, above me, surrounding me from all sizes, they were in the air I breathed, the space I stared into, the sound I heard… Darkness that comes from within. I knew this place. I had the feeling I did, but I could not see it. Beyond the veil of shadows, there were… furniture… people… laughter? But it was beyond my reach. It was on the other side of the darkness, I could not pierce through it. My horn did nothing, my wings refused to lift me, my hooves were too unsteady for them to allow any charge. I was as powerless as a foal, then suddenly I was a foal, small and too weak to get out of this trap. The creatures sliding in the shadows made me want to scream, but my hooves were steadily keeping my lips sealed, for fear they would decide I was tasty. My heart was beating faster than ever, much too fast. My head was already spinning and threatening to crack under the pressure. But it didn’t. Instead, my ears picked up the strangest of noises. A chime of diamond rang echoes in the distance, producing a sound with a strangely ethereal quality, almost… otherworldly. It was gentle though. Its lightness made the note sound much purer than those of another instrument, perhaps, and it certainly was a great amelioration over the creepy shadow creatures. I found myself drawn to the chime. It was kinda pretty. Lot less scary than the monsters. A lot more familiar than the darkness. I picked up the pace. The sound got louder and the closer I got, the more clearly I could hear it. It was a longing plea for help! I couldn’t let them die! Not because they were born different! Cold wind slapped my cheeks, harshly, and I stumbled, disorientated. The pain I expected from falling on my face never came, leaving me with naught but a dull sensation of numbness. Confused, I tried shaking my head a few times, but all I accomplished was getting the world to spin even more. “Still your steps!” There was a being, taller than the others, darker than the others and with an aura of power that sent them all to their knees. She, for the creature was without a doubt a mare, glared at our surroundings, her mouth slowly twisting into a scowl. She spoke with disgust. But I didn’t hear her words. My body arched violently, catapulting me out of the world of dreams and back into that of harsh reality. Or cartoons. Whichever, I thought, muscles relaxing back into a lying position. To my surprise, I woke up to a cold, unwelcoming void in my bed where Calx should have been. It did not surprise me much, after the disastrous ending of yesterday’s dinner at The Royal Crown. He had been acting sullen for the remainder of the evening, right up to the time to go to sleep. He had pressed himself against me harder than ever, whispering some words about our parents. It left my cheeks burning with shame that I hadn’t been able to summon the right images at the words “Mom” and “Dad”. My mind had become wearier, even as I had clasped my hooves on Tom’s shoulders and held him closer. Nonetheless, regardless of the events of last night, this morning, I was alone in the room. The stone walls were sanctuary to nopony but myself. At least, as far as I could tell... Wings shrugging off the covers with a mint of regret, I rolled off the mattress. My landing was less than graceful, leftover fog of sleep oblige. “Tom?” I called, voice breaking from the emotional rollercoasting and a newly born worry. My chest contracted to produce a sigh of pure relief when the air carried the sound of little hooves hitting the floor of our bathroom. “Yeah?” His head peeked out of the door, looking blissfully normal and not traumatized. Then again, his mood had gone rotten mostly because he had been really annoyed by the two fillies intervention. Guilt was a lot more long lasting than disappointment over a dinner. “You didn’t wake me up,” I stated, trying to sound mildly annoyed, but unable to summon those emotions. “Have you tried waking yourself up?!” He threw his front hooves in the air, half pouting, half glaring. “T’was like talking to a brick. And you were half squishing me like a big bag of potatoes!” My eyes twitched. Well, there you go. Plenty of annoyance to start the day! -- Lime Line caught herself sneezing a few times, gathering the attention of her mother, who beckoned her to wear some clothes, just this once. The adolescent filly frowned, shivering under her layer of clothing. Why was it so cold all of a sudden? S-sure, the wind blowing down from the mountains was generally freezing, but it didn’t happen at this time of the year. It was supposed to be summer from Celestia’s sake. She shivered and went on with her business for the day. -- The whispers were significantly louder when we entered the dining hall this morning. Eyes trailed off after us, that much was a given, if one considered the insane amount of gossiping hens amongst the nobility. It was both sad and rather funny when I think about it. Nonetheless, this morning, I certainly did not crave the extra attention. Every shushed whisper in my presence made images of last night flash before my eyes. More precisely, the brief glint of panic in their gazes when they saw I noticed them talk about me was telling, as were the sighs of relief when I went past them without a moment of hesitation. Great, I’ve got a reputation now. I sighed. Well, there’s nothing I can do about it right now. We should just eat something and think about it after that. Carefully dodging the gaze of everypony assembled, I lead my little brother to our usual seats, bottling up my unease and my annoyance. “Hi old guy!” Tom cheerfully greeted the aging stallion still sitting next to him. “Hello, Prince Calx,” he replied with his usual tolerance, though I detected a hint of disappointment beneath the smile. Their exchange barely got the chance to expand that a few servants came up to our levels with plates of food. It smelled exquisite. While Tom dug right in, there was something I needed to see first. “Excuse me, madam?” I called the closest maid, ignoring the painfully obvious flinch of her body when she heard me. “Yes, Prince Ventus?” She turned around and lowered her head slightly. “Would you be so kind as to bring me this morning’s newspapers?” As expected of her, she did so with quick efficiency. I sorta wished I had bits to give her as a tip or something… When my eyes fell on the paper though, my newly born good mood evaporated. On the front page of the morning news, there were pictures – two pictures, to be precise –, one of me feeding Pinkie while she had that playful glee to her eyes and one of Tom screaming at Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, whose faces were brimming with tears already. The title truly said it all. ‘World exclusive! The Unprincely Princes’ “Yesterday evening was not a good night for The Royal Crown’s staff, as unforeseen events centered around Princess Celestia’s young male relatives brought the evening to an early stop. After some shameless flirting toward one of the Elements of Harmony-” I wanted to crawl under a rock and forget everything. Why had everything gone so wrong? In retrospect, I could see that it really was just the end of the night that had been bad and we had thoroughly enjoyed the rest, but that carried too little weight to stop us from being down. There was this tight knot of guilt in my throat that made it hard to breath and this tingling horror that clawed its way into my brain just as soon as I knew why. My feeling of guilt, or responsibility, was sorely centered about the fact that my actions could have made the night a lot more satisfying for Tom. The rest… I didn’t actually care. A shiver went down my spine at my own train of thoughts. This… uncaring… blatant emptiness where there used to be something. How can I… what’s…? I remembered a pair of eyes, mine, but different from how they were today, smaller, of a different color, blue instead of this soft shade of green. Those differences, though, they were trivial. No, all I could remember were the things behind the physical appearance, mainly because I knew what was there. It was only a memory of a small bathroom and a dozen scenes of highly sadistic torture, approved by a number of fans. Hatred. Revenge. Apathy. I looked down, somehow managing to feel ashamed of myself, heat spreading all the way up to my head from the depth of my chest. The flicker of enthusiasm at experiencing this emotion was quickly squashed however as my gaze fell into my reflection. In a silver plate, I could see those eyes, staring back. They were colder, uncaring as always. What I could have realistically passed off as being a carefully guarded and measured approach just screamed of a darker truth now. Those weren’t the eyes of a simple pony, nor those of a human. I could see it. Monster. The realization had bubbles of panic suddenly crash into my mind. No, it’s wrong! I’m not like that! It was just anger! I found him! I found Tom! I was praying I was not sorely mistaken, that it was not just denial. So why does my chest feel so heavy? Suddenly, the idea of eating anything else repulsed me. Any hunger I might have had was long gone, my head spinning with dark, murderous thoughts, each scarier than the next. It was just a spiral of red and red, screams and screams, tears of pain and of terror. A movement to my side caught my attention, as the pony in question had to shuffle into his seat, uncharacteristically late. Oh joy, the prince has arrived. Though beneath the sarcasm, there was a deeply rooted fear of what might happen if we clashed again. Was I really any better than him? The answer was not one I had the time to ponder however, as one look at his newspaper had the white stallion snort with derision. “And you consider yourself above me,” Blueblood sneered, sounding oddly triumphant and sad. “I see you still like putting other ponies down,” I replied, staring blankly at my breakfast. “Does that make you feel better about yourself?” From the corner of my eyes, I could notice a slight trembling in his legs and his hooves, which contrasted with the air of superiority he was adopting. “You mean the way it does for you?” …Is he… on to something? Is that why I get so angry? Puzzled, I tried to look inward, to see if those cutting words could actually be turned against their holder. They could. I mouthed at him, acutely aware of the little colt not even a meter away from me, a simple “Yes.” His expression froze into one of shock, his mouth hanging open rather ridiculously. Silence fell. “Huh?” Calx looked up from his meal, noticing the sudden lack of conversations all around the table. His gaze went from one pony to another. Clearly though, nopony had the guts to say anything, so he turned to me. “What’s wrong, Sam?” My expression morphed instantly, into one with a bashful grin and the least care in the word. If only for a split second, I felt rather good. “Nothing. The others just wanted to spend some time in silence to think.” It took so much not to burst out laughing when Tom’s scowled, obviously disgusted. “Boring,” he said. I shrugged. “It’s an adult thing.” “You’re not an adult!” The shout had Blueblood snickering. “I’m old enough to be one.” I rolled my eyes, thinking back on the few centuries already behind me. “I literally saw Blueblood’s ancestor trip on a garbage can and fall on his future wife. They met that way.” I shared a knowing smirk with Tom, while the prince behind me had to fight an aneurysm. By the look on my brother’s neighbor's face, it was pretty bad. “Anyway, the silence is just a time for ponies to relax. Don’t worry about it and use it to plan your day, ‘kay, lil’ bro?” A few nobles gasped at the slip-up in language. “Sure! Sounds good to me.” He agreed, grinning before going back to his food. Feeling one disaster had been averted, I returned to Blueblood. “You were saying?” “Well, that’s two-faced if I ever saw it.” His eyes shifted from me to his meal, his body unusually still. “Nevermind.” He sounded… bitter. Somehow… Could he be…? “If you need to search adamantly for a better role model… and think it is so difficult… then clearly you haven’t given it much thought.” I looked beyond him, toward a certain pony. Confused, the white unicorn turned around, following my gaze and looked straight at Princess Celestia. A strange light flashed in Blueblood’s eyes. His superior smug smirk had all but vanished. I wouldn’t know what I expected of him, but clearly, my imagination was lacking. Or overachieving. The perfectly groomed stallion’s mask of royalty was cracking. The twitch of his brows, the imperceptible shift in his stature, the way his eyes focused on anything BUT Celestia… What was going through his mind? I, unfortunately, did not get further chance to speculate, as Princess Celestia had other plans. “Ventus,” she called, instantly getting my full attention. Ears perked up all around the dining hall, with it growing dreadfully silent again. Well, not completely silent… Calx did mutter something about boring adults and what’s not… I would have loved to laugh at his behavior, but parts of me were too preoccupied with keeping my stomach in check. To be perfectly honest, I had been dreading the possibility of Celestia demanding an explanation all breakfast long. There was no way she could let the events of yesterday night slide without even an explanation. “Yes, Princess?” I asked, lowering my head ever so slightly. “I would like to speak to you alone.” She rose from her seat, causing a series of shocked looks from the nobility all around her. “Please, follow me.” “Of course,” I whispered, scrambling to get to my hooves and go wherever she wanted me to. I’d do a lot not to have those vultures’ eyes scrutinizing my every move. This was stretching it a little though… I did my best to stop my tail from twitching and showing my nervousness, even as I followed Celestia’s painfully slow pace. She wasn’t in a hurry – why would she be? –, but I would rather not break character here and there… I eyed the wooden door she lead me to with caution, not quite sure on what it might open. No torture chamber, please… I thought, passing below the doorframe, which closed itself behind me. We were alone in some sort of… antechamber… and the look she was giving me was not quite as joyful as yesterday’s. “We must speak of your behavior.” Oh Elders, it’s like Mom’s in front of me… “P-Princess!” “Believe me, Ventus, when I say that my student’s love life is her own business and hers alone. Just as is yours. On this topic, I do not have the right to judge you, especially with the experience I have of some journalists.” I stayed silent. Her words implied too much unspoken things for me to feel even remotely at ease…. But a cowardly part of my mind let out a sigh of relief anyway. “However, this morning, I received a troubling letter from none other than a certain Mr. Silver Ware. This convocation is for us to discuss its troubling content, which seems to coincide precisely with the points described in that gossip column.” My mouth twisted with displeasure. In a corner of my mind, flames of a darker kind seemed to be burning with hatred toward those paparazzi that wouldn’t very well leave us alone and stop giving so much bashing fuel to others. It must have shown eloquently on my face, because the white alicorn’s frowned as well. “I won’t insult your intelligence by pretending neither of us know the content of this letter. While I do believe Mr. Ware has exaggerated some aspects of this tale, I also know he was not quite wrong with his assessment of you.” Said letter slipped out from a desk in the corner and levitated to the level of her eyes. They skipped over what seemed to be half of its content before falling on the appropriate line. With the tone of a storyteller, she read. “My daughter would not stop crying all night and, understand that it is with a heavy heart that I write this to you, but I believe your cousins are awful ponies if they could do that to an innocent filly that wanted to share some time with them.” The words made my insides go cold. W-why… “What I have trouble understanding is your reasons for letting it happen…” She did not look at me, she seemed pensive. “Mr. Rich and Mr. Ware are both rich ponies, but they have yet to leave an impact on the Canterlot scene, preferring more… earthly cities to develop their companies. Their daughters were nothing but fillies that wished to approach Calx Iugum, if I read this letter correctly.” At least, I know that one is a lie. “Calx said everything you need to know. They are bullies in Ponyville and he doesn’t like bullies.” “And how did he know that?” “He…” I looked away, hoping not to reveal a hint of my sudden panic. Crap, how do I get out of that one?! “He… well, the ancient practices of the alicorns have not changed much, Princess.” Her interest in me seemed greater than before, but she still did not speak, instead urging me to go ahead. “Divination spells are incredibly common, to evaluate the numerous dangers that could befall any realm, of course, but many alicorns, including Calx and I, used them as a way of entertainment. It so happened that those two crossed path with the siblings of the Elements of Harmony many times before.” “Is that also the reason you did not stop him?” She asked calmly. …It was not. I just couldn’t be bothered. Even to me, that sounded cold. The sad part was that it was true. My lack of answer seemed to be enough for her to make a judgment, as Celestia took a few steps around the room, eyes toward the ceiling. “I am torn, Ventus. You have shown yourself to be usually reasonable, with perhaps one exception I was willing to overlook in regards to the intent I felt behind it. However, I can also see something very…” She turned to me. “…strange about you.” “S-strange, Princess?” My wings fluttered a bit. Her gaze was soul piercing. “Your actions… they do not strike me as the normal course of action from a stallion as polite and soft-spoken as you.” My stomach churned, as a cold fear started to creep out on me. “I-I am not perfectly stoic, Celestia… Is it so hard to believe that I do have a temper under that… benevolence?” “No, it is not so hard…” Her voice trailed off, momentarily at least. Her focus turned back on me with such intent though I doubt she had truly bought it for more than a few seconds. “However, Ventus, there is too much cruelty in your words when you express that anger. And it seems to focus with too much clarity to be spontaneous. You had thought of those same things a while ago, long before you met them in person, didn’t you? Your words and your personality seem to clash too badly and too often for it to be an anomaly. It is much closer to the real ‘you’ than what you would like them to believe. What you show to this world is not just a ‘mask of royalty’, Ventus, it is also a ‘mask of kindness’.” So that’s what it’s like to get a taste of your own medicine? Damn… No room for me to hide, no lie for me to use in my defense. Cold hard logic that could not be reasonably argued against. The truth was a magnifying lens suspended over my head. And just like me, Celestia did not relent so easily either. Her eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly, as if concerned about my well-being despite figuring out the darker side of my inner self. “You will need to forgive me for this, but I cannot allow such events to be doomed to repetition out of negligence. For it to be overlooked… no, it is not a possibility, I must know.” “Know what?” She knew what she wanted. “Nopony was allowed to see it yet… the answer to that question.” My voice came out uncertain. “What question?” “Who are you?” The words cut straight through any façade I could have built. I could only repeat them in my mind. …Who am I? It shook me to the core. I… I didn’t know. I had lost the knowledge a while ago now. All I could do was look at myself and decide… Who am I? Forced to look at the state of things, it seemed ridiculously unfair that I had been stripped of the answer and forced to carry on anyway, lest my life be forfeit to some alien power that was only looking for entertainment. I couldn’t summon the strength to lie right away. For a moment, the thought of admitting everything was sweet, dancing at the edge of my consciousness and tempting me to grab the opportunity. Yet, to admit my culpability was much too dangerous. There was a whole fandom behind an impenetrable veil, sometimes watching and sometimes not, for the sake of their amusement. I could not simply prove her right. Their reaction was unfathomable to me. I could not tell how they’d react. “You are wrong, Celestia.” I shook my head, carrying myself with an air of disappointment and a bit of sadness. “This mask you see exists only in your mind. I’m sorry I gave you that impression, but what you saw is nothing more than a poorly worded confrontation between two stallions defending their respective family. Would you not do your worst for the sake of your own, Celestia?” Let’s hope that does the trick. If the white alicorn had bought it, she gave no indication of such a thing. She was too good at keeping her true thoughts in check. Her silence stretched, with nothing to keep me on my guard other than the weight of her gaze against mine. We stared honestly at the other’s eyes, each showing a very obvious façade, both hiding the rest in our minds. Finally, her voice came out, resigned and colder than I could remember her using. “I see…” Her eyes narrowed. “I fear contact between you and the external world might have been premature. You might not be ready to face Equestria as it is.” I blinked. “What are you saying…?” “I will ask that you remain in the castle at all times now and instruct your brother to do the same.” She did not seem faze by my sudden disappointment. “This is non-negotiable and effective immediately.” But if I can’t look for a way home… “I… understand.” Strangely, I truly did. I even felt grateful for it on some level. In a way, she was taking back the highly public and attention-grabbing title she had given us so freely and, while the display of caution stung, I would rather be able to lay low until most of the backlash faded. With a little luck, we could simply be integrated into the background without much fuss and the threat of retcon would be but a bad memory. A colder part of me sneered. As if… as if a fandom that could produce the horror of a Cupcake spin-off STARRING TOM WOULD EVER- “Ventus!” Celestia voice snapped me out of my thought. Her image was that of a serious, severe… stern, pony-goddess of the sun. The radiant glow of her being had grown harsher, less warm than boiling. “Yes?” I asked, already allowing my fury to quietly hide itself in a corner of my mind. Celestia’s eyes stared straight into my soul. For an instant, she spoke no word, displayed nothing but overwhelming authority and power. Her sole presence made the room feel heavier, uncomfortable and simply scary. At the moment, the thought crossed my mind that she might simply kill me. If she could read minds, I would already be nothing more than a pile of ash on the ground though. Or, you know, imprisoned in the moon, a statue or the ice of the Crystal Empire. Whichever fits me better. “I still need your attention. I am not quite done with this decree.” To my dismay, I could not stop myself from crouching a little in fear. If she noticed, she made no show of it. Her figure was as regal and stoic as it would ever be. “Perhaps a tutor would be the best way to alleviate your brother’s constant need for newer things to explore. I have already contacted a trusted mare from the Canterlot’s school system and she accepted the charge of teaching him.” I might later blame the nerves or the sudden lack of tension or the incredibly unexpected nature of her request, but, after a second of incredulous staring, I started laughing my rump off. The thought of Calx being forced to study again. Earning his two masters had been Tartarus for him. Sometimes, I regret saying those numbers… but this time… “He’ll have an aneurysm!” I shouted, rolling on the floor. “Ventus, this is extremely serious,” Celestia said, though with a strain in her tone that I could not clearly attribute to a dying patience. Something told me there was amusement being held back as well. “A-alright…” I snorted, raising to my hooves, still fighting some snickering. “C-Celly... I’ll… calm down, but he really… he really studied a lot under Magister.” “Understood, but I believe it would be a nice way for him to occupy his time while he develops emotionally. Although he might have knowledge, he lacks any restraints, which might be attributable to you, Ventus.” “I deny anything of the sort, Celly,” I deflected her accusation with ease. Heck, it was not even a lie. Tom really was that hyper all the time. “My little brother has always been more enthusiastic than the statistically average foal, Equestria simply had the chance to see him at his most normal.” She nodded, probably expecting a reply of the sort. A bizarre desire sparked in my heart at the sight of her calm figure. However… “Princess.” My tone was solemn. “I request that you inform him of this yourself.” One of her eyebrow shot up. “Might I inquire as to the reason for this request?” “I am not willing to lose his admiration over this.” I was slightly shocked at how bitter my tone came out. “It is only fair that the one who made the decision faces its consequences, is it not?” I saw her hesitate. In the depth of her gaze, there was something nondescript, an echo of pain, but not actual pain. Strange. “I suppose it is.” Celestia admitted reluctantly, glancing in the direction of the dining hall we had left, then back to me. The touch of steel in her stance left very little doubt of her current opinion of me. My hooves shook slightly against the ground, making me acutely aware of my own fear at this sudden disposition. Twitches ran along my body, from my ears to my tail. They betrayed my mask and Celestia knew it. “This exchange is over,” she said, and the exchange was over. Grateful through my bitterness, I managed a polite bow before turning around, eager to leave this all behind me. Just when my horn lit up with magic, she spoke up one last time. “You did not answer me, Ventus.” I looked down. I know. It came in a whisper, one that I had wished I could have missed. “I still don’t know who you are.” Neither do I. -- The white alicorn stood still for a moment, staring at the door behind which the – relatively – young stallion had disappeared. Her eyes, normally tinkling with benevolence and kindness, seemed to be abnormally empty. “Y-your Highness?” came an uncertain voice from her sides. Celestia looked down, forcing a bit more softness in her gaze as it fell on a dark grey stallion. “You can always speak your mind with me, Steel Rampart. It is part of your job as the new Captain of the Royal Guard.” He gulped down loudly, not very willing to speak up against his ruler’s decision. “I-is that not… a little severe a punishment for an argument between stallions?” “You may believe what you wish, Steel Rampart, but I think it is necessary for the time being.” Seeing the stallion’s horror struck face, she let out a small chuckle. “Do not worry about this, my little pony. My judgments should and must remain questioned to keep me grounded. The consequences of me losing sight of my subjects would be too dire for us to consider…” He couldn’t help it, it was a knee-jerk reaction born from a lifetime of adoration. “Y-your Highness!” The grey stallion stuttered in protest. “Your rule has been perfect in every way anypony could think of! There is no way you could ever cause tragedies like what you speak of!” The princess’ thousand years old gaze slowly turned to him, heavy and ancient, carrying the weight of a rule that seemed never ending. The guard’s leg grew weaker, forcing him to steel his resolve, but still leaving him unable to face the eyes of his beloved princess. It seemed as if her voice had grown faint, but it couldn’t be the truth. He knew that! It had to be the incredibly loud heartbeat hammering down each side of his head. Subconsciously, the stallion leaned forward. “…Are you so sure about that, Steel Rampart?” His chest felt empty, as the intonation skipped a beat, lacking either the benevolent authority or the playful teasing qualities it so usually exhibited. No, Celestia’s words were carried with a heavy air of fatality. “The last time I ignored an alicorn’s troubling behavior, I lost my sister for a thousand years.”