1. I Am An Earth Pony Farmer. I Guess That Sucks.
I do not understand who decided New York would be the meet up place. I arrived, all ready to kick some form of evil villain ass, but then I cannot find anypony! The place is so damn big that you get lost if you take one step in the wrong direction. One minute, I'm following Ginger Star, a.k.a. Gertrude Starling, and suddenly I have no idea where I am or where the rest of the ponies are.
They told us here. I came here. I followed some obscure OC’s to get here, but yet I don't think I'll get to see anypony else before it's all over and we're back to normal. I am Carrot Top, and this is how I missed the mane event.
***
I woke up in the garden outside of my parent’s house. It was not a nice garden; weeds covered every square inch of the area and not a single plant other than that grew. However, as my eyes peered out at the area, it was now populated by green stalks sticking out of the ground and into the air, swaying in a slight breeze. They were carrots.
"Why the hell are there carrots in my yard?!" I yelled.
Thank God I had no neighbors. At least, not at the time, for they had all gone to their jobs or were off shopping, buying their needed living supplies. Which then reminded me: I needed to get ready for work.
I got up to run to the door inside but stopped. Was I on... four legs? Was I a quadruped? I looked down at my body and found that to be the case. My fur was a light yellow, which confused me; I did not think there was a single kind of pony on Earth that had yellow fur.
"Okay..." I began, my emotions a very hearty mix of shock, surprise, and slight trauma. "I am a pony... What kind of pony?"
I then looked at my legs, trying to figure out how they worked. I was able to move quite like my arms as a human, finding them to be incredibly flexible. I was actually able to see the bottom of my hoof, something I knew no horse or pony could do.
The next thing I did was try to get a sense of my height. I could tell that I was definitely shorter than when I was a human, seeing as how my house now looked two times taller. I eventually got a rough estimate of maybe two-and-a-half feet tall, or short, I guess I could say.
When I finished this, a strand of orange hair fell across my face. I ignored it at first, clumsily brushing it away. Then my mind did a double take and I reached up with a hoof to try and get it to fall back down. When I managed to, I placed it with my coat color and came to a conclusion.
"No way in hell is this possible," I said in disbelief. "I am a... My Little Pony. What the frig."
I knew exactly who I was, but I wanted to know otherwise, so I decided to go inside to find a mirror. I took my first step forward, forgetting that I was a pony for a moment, and fell face first into the dirt.
“Okay… gotta get used to four legs and hooves.”
I moved my right front leg. Back right. Front left. Back left. I slowly inched to the door of my home, wishing now more than ever that I had two legs to just stand on and walk normally.
I eventually reached the door and found myself facing the task of turning the handle to open it. I jumped up and grabbed the knob with my front two hooves. I pushed with the right left and tried my hardest to pull with the left, and with enough effort I got the handle to turn all the way. I put pressure against the door and it opened up into the hallway.
I went straight to the bathroom, which luckily had a handle and not a knob. I praised Celestia, cursing myself internally as I did. I pulled a cool little stunt where I hopped up on the toilet seat and then straight to the counter of the bathroom-thing. I flipped on the lights from there, being unable to reach them from the ground.
When the lights came on, I turned to the mirror and confirmed my suspicion on what pony I was.
"Oh crap! I am Carrot Top! Or would it be Golden Harvest? Whatever. I am a frigging earth pony farmer who plants carrots! I... dammit this sucks so much. I am a pony! Not only that, but a female! How the hell am I gonna go to the bathroom?!"
Yeah, silly first question, but that was what occurred to me on top of the others. I mean, it is a fair point, seeing as how I have been male my whole life and not a pony. I then asked myself: "How am I going to reach the toilet?"
Yeah, that was just me asking the most prevalent questions. That second one was pointless, I realized, because I did just hop on top of the toilet. I guess they appeared first because I was in a bathroom. I actually thought about the answers and became very... concerned and puzzled because of what I thought about.
“Alright, I am so confused!”
Then I remembered something on the news. It was something that I passed off as just a joke being pulled by the press, I hadn’t even tried to look for it after-wards. Lauren Faust had become Princess Celestia, and that people were turning into ponies all across the country.
I ran to the computer in my room, which was open, luckily, and moved the mouse, which caused the screen to flicker to life. It was easy to use a hoof to click a mouse and scroll, but it was typing that caused problems. I decided that using some kind of stylus from something would be a smart choice.
It took me awhile to find my dad’s Ipad stylus from the Ipad he used to own before he figured electronics were not for him and gave it to me. Holding it in my mouth, I typed in the search terms: ponies in real life.
The first result was Fox News, which I clicked on and began to read:
As of Saturday, people all over America have been turning into
ponies. Not just any kind of pony, but the ponies from the animated kid’s show
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. The first development of the case was when the original creator of this show turned into the show’s princess: Celestia. She has urged the public not to panic and remain calm. She say that anyone who may change to come to New York to help her.
Another confirmed transformation is of Tara Strong, one of the voice actors from the show. She has been turned into yet another of the show’s princesses: Luna.
This event began what is now a worldwide phenomenon known as the “Pony Plague.”
Ponies have been appearing across the land, slowly making their way to New
York.
Read More
New York. I had never been, but I had heard how big it was and how easy it was to get lost in such a place. What is in New York that is so important? I wondered. Why are we going to there? I had no idea what to do. I didn’t know if I should go, if things would resolve themselves or what, or if everyone’s, or everypony’s, cooperation was necessary.
The first thing I did was go to bed. I felt tired beyond belief after all that had happened. I managed to jump onto my bed after a few tries, but I got it. I wrapped myself up in my blankets and closed my eyes. My last thoughts were:
I probably should’ve called in sick.
2. There’s A Voice in My Head. Oh, and My Parents Come Home
There was a scream. My parents were home. No doubt. Yep. I was definitely screwed in some insane fashion in which I was violently kicked from the house without any chance to explain myself.
“Honey, there’s a thing!”
Crap. It was my mom. She was always calm and collected around things she deemed normal, and a pony sleeping in her son’s bed probably classified as a ‘This is as far from normal as it’s going to get until I die.’ There was a loud thumping as my dad ran to my room in his, not to be rude or anything, hefty bulk.
“What the hell?!” he yelled, looking at me in complete confusion.
Man, how I wanted to say something just to see how much of a laugh I could get from their reaction. Speaking, however, would for sure get me removed from the household faster than any bullet train or fighter jet. Hell, maybe faster than light.
So, anyways, my dad apparently somehow acquired a beating stick in the split second I blinked or looked away or something, or maybe I had just suddenly gotten ADD as a pony and got distracted without realizing it. Then he charged, and I jumped away in fear. I was used to my dad being angry, except that was usually when he was drunk, but now he was angry sober, and I was terrified. I chose that as my moment to speak.
“Dad!” I yelled, surprised at the feminine qualities that I had failed to notice when I first spoke due to initial shock.
He stopped his strikes and looked at me.
“What in the name of,”
“Yep. Surprise. I got turned into a pony while I slept.”
Damn, I was trying so hard to be casual about it. Not working.
“There are also now carrots in the garden, so you won’t have to buy any for a while, and…”
I had no idea how to continue. Why was I not just breaking down and crying? I mean, sure, I had a big problem with pride and all that, but I still… would… buck it. Never mind. I am too damn prideful to cry in front of others.
“How are you my son?” my dad asked, looking terribly unsure about whether to whack me to Wagnesday (because this is following all 100% correct guidelines. Don’t worry! Nothing against the rules here… hehehe) or let me live. “You are a… a pony. Not my son. Not my son!”
“Well, you’re right on one part. I am not your son; I am your daughter-slash-son! I am- oh, who the hell am I kidding, I can’t take this levity!”
That was when I left go of my pride for a moment and began to cry, letting all of the (incredibly manly) tears flow from my (not manly) eyes.
“I just woke up as a frigging pony! I don’t know why or what I have to do, but I am just a pony! I fell asleep and woke up in the garden as a pony! I am Carrot Top! I am a farmer earth pony!”
It was then that it spoke, a kind voice in my head that sounded so familiar.
Do not despair. I understand your pain. Do not worry. Soon you will acclimate to it. Now, I will let you get to the task at hoof.
There was no noise but my sobs for a while, and my liquid pride fell down my pony cheeks in streams. The scene became violently uncomfortable when my father began to console me. Man, would I rather die than have that awkwardness again.
“It’s okay…” he said, trying to help out any way that he could.
“No, it’s not! Even though I know that there are others who have become like me, I know that I will never meet them or get to see them! What are the chances of meeting someone who has met the same fate as I on the road?”
“On the road?” my mother, who I had actually forgotten was even there due to her silence, asked.
“I’m going to New York, where a rallying cry has been sent by the first to become ponies like me. They are calling us to them so we can fix the curse upon us.”
This reminds me. Due to the sudden ADD I have gained from Carrot Top, I forgot to talk about my brony side. I was a closet brony (surprise, surprise) and no one knew that I was a brony except for my brony friends on the internet. I was a fanfiction writer, not really that good and all, but still had a few fans across various fanfiction sites. What I was good at was music. I wrote original tracks and compositions for many different characters and different plot points from the show. I still only had a few fans there, but they praised me more than over on fanfictions. I guess telling my parents I was a brony was an appropriate decision right then, and I did as I thought.
“Uh… guys?” I asked. They responded with a “Yes?”, so I continued. “I haven’t told you this, but…”
“You’re a brony,” my dad said. “Believe me, the t-shirts in the drawers are enough proof.”
Aw! He killed the surprise! I was so looking forward to the look on his face!
The voice in my head’s interjection caused me to mentally jump.
What the hell was that for?!
No reason! Just really wanted to see what his reaction would be!
Who are you? You sound like someone I know.
I’m you! Well, not yet, but that’s a close enough explanation!
You’re Carrot Top?
Yep. It’s just my luck to get my mind bonded to a stallion’s though. Couldn’t get a mare like Fluttershy, just a stallion.
Whatever. I wish I wasn’t turned into a mare! This is a whole new physical body all over!
I returned my attention to reality, where my parents were standing over me.
“So…” I said.
“You’re going to New York?” my mother asked.
“Yeah. I don’t know what else to do. I either go to where I can meet others like me or stay here and wait God knows how long for it to end.”
“We respect that, honey,” mother said, looking me in the eye. “We’ll let you go. We’ll pay for the bus fare till the Midwest.”
I nodded, feeling more crying come on. They weren’t rejecting me like I was some monster, and they were treating me with kindness.
That’s so sweet!
Shut the buck up Carrot Top. I don’t give a damn as long as I get to New York.
Language, mister!
Would it kill you to learn my name?
What is it then?
Jackson Rain.
(Like it’s important, put it as the last line. Don’t worry, it doesn’t matter.)