//------------------------------//
// The (un)Mysteriously Dull Day. 
// Story: Being Trapped in Stone is DULL! 
// by Jioplip 
//------------------------------//

And he'll twist you round, you know you'll turn your head, can't fight this urge to turn towards him, oh no, no-

Oh! I was transmitting that.

Sorry, I've just been sifting through interdimensional signals, listening to music, you know.

So, now that I'm back on the horn, let's see what correspondence you have for me.

First is from Starcatcher101:


Hi Discord. First YOU ARE THE BEST THING ABOUT MLP FiM! Secondly I was wondering if you know any ways to get rid of annoying people. Oh, And any way I can come visit? SEE YA MOST AWESOME THING ABOUT MLP FIM!



Well, to begin, THANK YOU STARCATCHER101!

And moving on, the way I see it, you have a lot of options for getting rid of... annoyances, the previous musical number has a few permanent solutions, but if the thought of blood and/or screams of the blood-curdling variety make you nauseous, then you may need to outsource your issues.

Or tell them to fuck off. 

Preferably in the middle of an otherwise cordial lunch, then stalk off and leave them with the bill, but make sure you promise to pay beforehand, or it won't have the same effect.

As for a visit, trust me, I wouldn't mind the company, but wha%^$[WELLTALK]#%^$e logistics would be hell.

Our next piece of correspondence comes from our good friend the_Changeling_Prince_2:


I'm in some sort of cavern full of crystals 3 miles southeast of Ponyville. the crystals have weird properties and are sending my thoughts and words across the multiverse.



Hmm, fascinating, considering the similarities between our worlds, I'll have to check that area for an analogous cave...

Also, the_Changeling_Prince_2, I've been wondering, are you second born of your generation, or is the '2' just a decoration like the underscores?

Today's final correspondence comes from Deflem1:


Hello discord, here have some triangles ◢◣◢.
Question do you think dash is gay? I d k why I asked I'm just being random.
☠ here have a skull.



What in the what? Since when can you make shapes just appear? And what skull are you talking about? I don't see any skull, and besides which, why would I want one?

And to answer your question: Thanks for the triangles.

Which brings us back to my day.

Well, it seems Rainbow Dash got all bigheaded and egotistical.

Yes. Got.

If you thought she was bad before, you'll likely be tearing your hair out lookin at her today, even her friends got fed up with all her bragging.

But oh my mother, is that pony dim!

I mean, come on Dashie! Some super-strong, extra-magical, ultra-nimble, perfect in every way alicorn comes strolling into town and you can't put the pieces together?

I could tell what was going on practically from the beginning, and I wasn't even trying.

Oh well, I suppose the worst thing to come to pass is simply that I'M NO CLOSER TO GETTING OUT THAN BEFORE AND I'M ABOUT READY TO JUST GRAB THOSE DAMN MARES AND TEAR THEM LIMB FROM LIMB!

Okay, deeeeep breaths, deep breaths.

Deep metaphorical breaths.

How in the dankest level of Tartarus is a stone supposed to calm down anyway?

Anyway, I'm in no mood to talk right now, so I guess I'll leave you all with a question of my own:











Ah, fuck it, I've got nothing.