Proving Rainbow Wrong – Prompt 1 (Rainbow Dash, humour)
The Psychobrony
“Hay Mrs Cake.” Rainbow Dash smiled at the blue mare that answered the door, “Is Pinkie in?”
“Of course dear, I’ll just get her.” Rainbow flew in circles as she waited, unable to contain her excitement and impatience. Fortunately, the pink party pony soon appeared in front of her.
“Hay there Dashie.” Pinkie’s usual grin was there, but her voice lacked her usual enthusiasm and it was she was stifling a yawn. Rainbow Dash, as usual, remained oblivious.
“Hay Pinkie! Are you excited? ‘Cos I’m excited. I’ve been waiting for tonight for like, ever! I can’t wait to go pull some awesome pranks.”
“I don’t know if I can make it tonight, can we do it tomorrow instead?”
“Whhhhhhaaaat? But why?” Rainbow halted mid loop-de-loop and stared at Pinkie Pie.
“I’m sorry Dashie, I’m just so super-duper-luper sleepy.”
“You? But you’re never tired!”
“Not usually, but last night Mr and Mrs Cake went out, and I was looking after Pumpkin and Pound Cake, but then they wouldn’t go to sleep and I was trying to keep them busy alllllll night and tire them out, but it ended up with only me getting tired, and then today there was no coffee so I couldn’t have my special morning coffee with fourteen sugars, and I’ve been working in the bakery all morning making cookies and cakes and muffins and more cake and even more cookies, and then it was Pipsqueak’s super-duper-awesome pirates-and-princesses-pinkie-pie-spectacular birthday party, and then I offered to look after the twins agaaaaaiiin, and did lots and lots and lots of running round after them and then I did even more baking and I’ve been working soooooo hard I’m pooped!”
There was a moment of complete silence, before Rainbow Dash fell to the floor, rolling around with laughter. “Oh Pinkie, that’s a good one!”
“Did I tell a joke? I didn’t mean to tell a joke.” Pinkie brought a hoof to her chin, replaying what she’d just said in her mind in an attempt to identify the joke she’d unwittingly made.
“Oh Pinkie Pie, that’s not work.”
“What?”
“You’ve baked, thrown a party, and played with foals. I mean sure, you missed a little sleep, but that’s not work, it’s fun.” Rainbow was so busy trying to breathe, she didn’t notice the hurt look on Pinkie’s face.
“Of course it’s work!”
“Oh come on…hahaha… it’s… haha… not that hard!” The all too familiar mischievous glint that suddenly appeared in Pinkie’s eyes immediately ceased Rainbow’s laughing fit.
“Why don’t you give it a go Dash?”
********
A little voice in the back of Rainbow’s mind told her this was a bad idea. A very bad idea. She ignored it, as she usually did when her pride was at stake, and knocked on the door of Sugar Cube Corner. The door was immediately flung open and Rainbow barely had time to catch a glimpse of pink before she was ushered inside.
“MRS CAAAAKE!” Rainbow winced. She always forgot how loud Pinkie Pie could be, especially when she was stood right next to her. “Rainbow’s here!” Mrs Cake popped her head around the partitioning door leading to the bakery’s kitchen.
“Hello dear. What can I get you today?”
“Rainbow’s here to be me for the day! She thinks my job is easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy, so I told her I bet you couldn’t do it, and she took me up on it so now she’s gonna do my work while I go to the spa with Fluttershy.”
“Pinkie, I’m not entirely sure…”
“No need to worry Mrs Cake, I’m sure everything will go just fine.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow gave an attempt at a reassuring grin, ignoring her suspicions that Pinkie was poking fun at her. “You can count on me.”
********
Waving Mr and Mrs Cake goodbye, Rainbow shut the door and headed to the kitchen. It had taken her a while to convince them not to cancel their morning at the swimming baths, but she’d eventually persuaded them she’d be alright by herself. She was only baking, there wasn’t that much that could go wrong. Right?
First thing’s first. A recipe. Rainbow glanced around the room, her eyes resting on a shelf full off books high up in one corner. Bingo. Ignoring the small stepladder, presumably for Mrs Cakes benefit since Mr Cake was tall enough to reach the shelf and Pinkie was probably able to jump up and grab whatever she needed, Rainbow flew up and hovered at shelf height, scanning the book titles before settling on Cupcakes for Beginners. She took hold of the spine, and pulled.
A second or so later, Rainbow was lying on her back, buried under a pile of cook books. She groaned and, coughing slightly, waved around the book she’d managed to keep hold of to disperse the cloud of dust that had sprung up. Pushing the pile off her, she flapped backwards. It turned out there were a lot more books on that shelf that she’d have guessed, and they were rather precariously balanced. Placing Cupcakes for Beginners on the table behind her, she began the repetitive task of replacing all the books.
********
Half an hour later, and the cupcakes were finally in the oven. She’d managed to make them without any more mishaps. Well, apart from the bag of flour falling on her head. And putting the chocolate in the bin instead of the wrapper. And cutting herself reaching into the cutlery drawer. Twice. And not being able to find any baking soda so having to use normal soda. They weren’t that different right? And having to fashion some cake cases out of paper because they didn’t seem to be in any of the drawers. Okay, so hardly any mishaps. Okay okay, a few mishaps, but nothing she couldn’t handle. But now the cakes were cooking, and Rainbow had just enough time to clean up before the Cakes got home. But first, well, she was actually feeling a little sleepy, not that she’d admit it to Pinkie. Maybe just a quick nap. Yawning, Rainbow rested her head on the table and shut her eyes.
********
“Rainbow? We’re back.” Rainbow opened her eyes with a start. Oh horseapples. She’d only meant to nap for a couple of minutes, but now the Cakes were back and the kitchen…
“So how did it go? Is everything… Oh dear.”
“Um, yeah, sorry about the mess. I was just about to clear it up, I promise….” Rainbow was interrupted as she was almost knocked over by Mr Cake running towards the oven. He yanked the door open and began frantically opening various drawers, searching for oven gloves. “Um, is it supposed to be doing that?” Black smoke was pouring from the oven door, and as Mr Cake located the gloves and lifted the tray out, Rainbow could see that the mixture had overflowed the cake cases and was bubbling and frothing. Mr Cake dipped one hoof into one of the cakes, and was rewarded with a sticky, goo-like substance. The cake cases seemed to have been reduced to char.
“Rainbow, dear, what exactly did you put in these cakes?”
********
Rainbow had offered to clear up and try again, but the Cakes hadn’t seemed too keen on that idea. Mind you, they hadn’t seemed too keen on her looking after the foals either, but they’d nervously concluded that it was the lesser of two evils. Rainbow didn’t see what the problem was. She’d looked after Scootaloo a few times, and sure the foals were younger, but it couldn’t be that different. She hovered over the cot and looked down at the twins. Pumpkin Cake was asleep, which Rainbow was secretly relieved by due to the plethora of stories she’d heard of her surprisingly powerful yet mischievous magic. Pound Cake was hovering a few inches above the mattress, looking like he was trying to do an airborne backflip, but not quite managing to get himself all the way over.
“So you like doing tricks, huh kid?” Maybe this was a way Rainbow could keep him occupied for the few hours the adult Cakes were going to be out. “You just sit back and watch the awesome Rainbow Dash in action!” Rainbow threw herself into the air, doing a triple backflip followed by a mid-air barrel roll. She peaked down to see Pound Cake was watching her and laughing, clapping his front hooves together. Success. She continued with a double loop-de-loop, narrowly missing the lampshade (which she would have claimed was skill, but was actually mostly luck) and went to do a couple of front flips in the opposite direction. Unfortunately, she misjudged how close she was to the wall, and her second flip was punctuated with a hard knock to the head and Rainbow finding herself on the floor, stars spiralling before her eyes. There was a moment’s silence, and then Pound Cake burst into giggles.
“Glad somepony found it funny.” Rainbow muttered, rubbing her sore head. As the room stopped spinning, she realised Pound Cake’s giggles weren’t the only sound coming from the cot. Pumpkin had been woken by the noise and was starting to cry. Rainbow quickly flew over and picked her up, before realising she didn’t have a clue how to stop the tears.
“Hey kid, you want, um, food? Milk? Toys?” Pumpkin paused her crying and stared at Rainbow. “Toys? I can find some toys.” Rainbow placed Pumpkin on the floor and looked around. A large toy box sat in the corner. Flying over to it, Rainbow began to pull out various different toys. When she’d gathered an armful, she turned back to the twins, hoping these would keep them busy until their parents got home. Pound Cake was still sat in the cot, giggling, but the floor was empty. Rainbow dropped the toys.
“Omigoshomigoshomigosh.” Rainbow looked around frantically. Pumpkin Cake was nowhere to be seen. How had she managed to lose her? The Cakes were going to kill her! She flew around the room in a panic, looking in cupboards and under the rug, behind the curtains and under the blankets, but the filly had disappeared. Pound Cake just sat there, chuckling to himself. Rainbow turned to him.
“What’s so funny kid?” As she watched him laugh to himself, she realised he wasn’t looking at her. She followed his gaze upwards to see Pumpkin floating around by the ceiling, using her magic to levitate herself. “There you are! Get back here!” Rainbow launched herself into the air, hooves outstretched to grab her, but Pumpkin anticipated her and floated out the way. There was a crash as Rainbow collided with the ceiling. Pound Cake seemed to think this was funny, and flapped up to join his sister. Rainbow groaned, and began to chase them both around the room.
********
There was a knock on the door.
“Uh oh.” Rainbow glanced round the room. The floor was littered with toys and the twins were hovering in one corner, laughing at Rainbow’s attempts to catch them. Rainbow herself was covered in bumps and bruises from their last minute dodges that had resulted in her flying into the walls, ceiling or various pieces of furniture. Slowly, dreading Mr and Mrs Cake’s reaction, she flew to open the door.
“Hay Rainbow!”
“Pinkie Pie?”
“Yep! I’d finished my super-duper fun spa day so I came to see how you were doing.”
“Everything’s fine. Great. Super.” Rainbow Dash said quickly, hoping Pinkie wouldn’t notice the mess, injuries and her general lack of control.
“Really? Doesn’t seem like it.” Pinkie replied cheerfully. She motioned to the twins, still hovering in the corner, and they both zoomed down to greet her, knocking her over in the process. Rainbow looked down at Pinkie rolling on the floor while Pound and Pumpkin hugged her, all three of them laughing.
“How did you… urgh, never mind.” Rainbow slumped to the floor, exhausted.
********
Ten minutes later the twins were asleep, Mr and Mrs Cake had returned and Pinkie Pie was wishing rainbow goodbye. Rainbow paused awkwardly at the door. She hated to admit she was wrong, but she also couldn’t lie and pretend the day had been easy.
“Sorry for saying your job wasn’t work Pinkie. I gotta admit, I don’t know how you manage.”
“Aw, it’s not too bad. Hay! Maybe next time I can try your job!”
“Now that would be funny.” Rainbow winked at Pinkie, who laughed and stuck her tongue out. “See you tomorrow for some pranking?”
“Yep! I’ll be there!”
Rainbow waved and took off, heading for her Cloudsdale home and a good night’s sleep. Wait. She suddenly thought. How would Pinkie Pie do my job. She can’t fly…