Look, All I Want

by Mistershield


Ch.9 Look, All I Want is an Ending

All I Want is an Ending



Chuck Norris hummed a low tune to himself, his head looking out the window of the train cabin. The martial artist rested both hands over his knees, in a seemingly good mood. He had no idea why, but the idea of a train being pulled by horses pleased him. According to Princess Celestia, Appleloosa would be the perfect place for him. The images of brown earth and the blue sky as he moved past in a rapid pace seemed to send his thoughts to a flashback.

________________________________


“Princess Celestia,” Chuck released a sigh. He moved both arms to cross on his chest.

“You know her?” Twilight raised his eyebrows. The other mares stopped arguing and turned to look as the human moved to sit down on a waiting bench on the main hallway. He nodded as a response. “How is it that you know of her, but not of Equestria?”

“Someone had to teach her a few things. She came to me learn an ancient art,” Chuck turned to look at the purple unicorn. “But you guys wouldn’t get it.”

“Get what?” Rainbow asked, moving to join her friends to sit at Norris’ feet.

“How do you call it...” Chuck looked down at the large eyes of all the ponies. Did they have the internet? Or computers? “Pranking, but without the use of physical means. Kinda like using words and images.”

“Like puns?” Pinkie Pie grinned. Chuck narrowed his eyes, staring down Pinkie. The earth pony slowly felt herself lowering her head, her body joining her as she felt so small in front of him. Chuck relented on his gaze before he made them all orgasm. The shame though, would probably make Lustshy pass out.

“Why do you think Princess Celestia is coming though?” Mayor Mare picked up her head, turning to look at her city residents. “Just because Chuck is a human unlike any other seems a bit odd...”

“You know, she didn’t say,” Twilight said as she raised her eyebrows.

“Well, I think my kids are-”

“In the name of Equestria! Spare us!”

“What the?” The voice shouting outside made them all pick up their heads. “Was that the Princess?” Twilight quickly picked herself to stand up and run to the doors. Chuck released a sigh and stood up, following behind the ponies. So much for building a reputation...

“Twilight Sparkle!” Princess Celestia released a sigh and lowered her head in relief. She stepped out of her chariot, the pegasi laying flat on the ground. “Please tell me none-” The Princess stopped talking, turning to look over at Chuck as he follwed outside. “Spare us, great Norris. I know my ponies can be-”

“Stop groveling,” Chuck narrowed his eyes and raised his left hand up to wave side to side. “If I wanted to do something, I would’ve by now.”

“Forgive me Chuck,” Princess Celestia bowed her head in greetings. “All of you, bow your heads in respect.”

The ponies turned to look at each other, eyebrows raised. There was a few mumbles, but they all bowed in respect to the Princess, and then to Chuck.

“Uh... Why are we doing this?” Rainbow dared to pick up her head and look back at Chuck.

“Don't ask me,” Chuck said with a shrug.

“Please, do not irk his wrath. The day I feared has come. Chuck Norris has arrived in Equestria.” The celestial mane alicorn picked up her head once more. “Has he not told you of his power? His legs are Law and Order. There is only another fist under his beard. His tears can cure any disease, but he does not cry. A snake once bit him, and after 3 days of agonizing pain and feverish dreams, the snake finally died...” She moved to stand in front of Chuck.

As their princess spoke, the mares started to rise and look at each other. Eyebrows were raised, mouths were open, and the sound of “huhs?” started to pass through them.

“Is that how he can throw a party?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“You know, now that I noticed... Chuck has no shadow,” Fluttershy lowered her head to look at his feet. Is that why she wasn’t so scared of him?

“If any if my ponies caused offense, I beg you to forgive them,” Celestia pleaded, her eyes filled with worry.

“Stop that...” Chuck grimaced.

“But Chucky... You said you didn’t have powers,” Rainbow flew up, moving her face to look at Chuck’s eyes.

“Would you call the power to move clouds of fly a special power? No, it is natural. The powers of Chuck are the same. To him, all he does-”

“I’m gonna stop you there Princess,” Chuck relaxed his grimace and rolled his eyes. “Just came here for a job.”

“What?” The alicorn raised her eyebrow.

“It’s true Princess. Chuck just came to obtained employment,” Mayor Mare raised herself to stand next to her ruler.

“Look, if this is how things are going to be, I can go find work in another-”

“NO!”

Chuck narrowed his eyes, as almost all of the ponies responded at once. With no reason to hold back anymore, Chuck turned to look at the Reader. He nodded.



“Press any button.”












"Don't make wait."














Chuck performed a standing roundhouse kick, even if you hadn’t pressed a button. Standing on his left leg, his right leg shot out to swing. He didn’t bother to connect, the sheer force wind sent them all to the Crystal Kingdom. Our hero then moved inside City Hall. He took the mahogany desk and picked it up to leave Ponyville and head back to his camping grounds.

A few hours later, a letter arrived via Derpy. The mail pony smiled, for once not crashing into anything. The letter gave Chuck a train ticket, and assured that all the ponies had been mostly alright. The hard crystal broke their fall. A letter was sent to on his behalf to Sheriff Silverstar, and he would assured a job would be found for him once he arrived.

___________________________________


It was his second day of travel now, and any moment he would arrive at Appleloosa. A waiter pony told him what Appleloosa was like. In a way, Chuck was both upset and relieved. Relieved, because he would be far away from Ponyville, but also- It would be like taking Gilligan off the island and offering him a banana and a coconut. Still, the ride was uneventful enough. He spent his time admiring his desk and also practicing his martial arts. His gear was set to the side, almost forgotten.

“Last stop! Now Arriving, Appleloosa!”

Chuck picked up his head, turning to look at the door to his cabin. He had been graciously given the caboose, a private cabin and had lots of room for his new desk. Our hero stood up and walked over to his desk and waited for the train to come to a stop. He wasn’t sure why there was a need for a steam whistle to indicate a stop, since ponies were drawing the train. Camping gear back on his shoulders, his left hand moved to hold up his precious.

When the train came to a full stop, Chuck walked over to the hole of the side entrance and blew. The doorway fell down, exposing the whole inside of the cabin to the ponies standing on the loading platform. After looking around for a second, he moved to hop off the cabin and land. A pony with a blue vest and wearing a hat quickly stepped up to him.

“Howdy Mr. Norris, and welcome to Appleloosa,” Sheriff smiled and moved a hoof to tip his hat.

“Hello Sheriff,” Chuck nodded in response. “Nice to see some proper folk.”

“Proper folk?” Sheriff raised his eyebrows.

“Well, hardly any of the ponies said hello to me the first day in Ponyville,” Chuck reponded.

“That don’t sound right...” Sheriff closed his eyes a bit and then shrugged. “Don’t you worry Mr. Norris. Here In Appleloosa, we ponies are friendly. We hardly get humans around here, so I reckon you will be the talk of the town.”

“That won’t cause any problems?” Chuck asked. They both started to walk around the train station and towards the front entrance of Appleloosa.

“Course not! Princess Celestia said ya was friendly, and I know you and the rest of the ponies will fit right in!” Sheriff responded.

“Wait... other ponies?” Chuck stopped walking.

“Oh yeah! A new school is opening up! Appleloosa U!” Sheriff stop at the front wooden gate. “It’s being built right now. Soon, we can have all sorts of new ponies coming by to our new town.”

“Oh...” Chuck released a sigh. For a moment there-

“Hey! He’s here!”

That voice made Chuck Norris pick up his head. Rainbow Dash flew over head, waving her left hoof up.

“He’s here?” Twilight picked up her head from the construction site where the new school was being made.

“What the?” Chuck blinked once, turning to look. Apparently, most of the Mane 6 were helping building the school. “Why are-”

“Chucky!” Pinkie Pie darted out, flying to grab Chuck’s left leg in a hug. Rarity moved to claim his other leg, while Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash claimed his shoulders as they flew.

“We missed you!” Rarity squeezed as she rubbed her mane and horn against his frame.

“What’s going-”

“Oh! Princess Celestia didn't tell you?” Twilight trotted over to look up at him. “I gave a serious thought to what you told us. As the Elements of Harmony, we had to spread harmony properly to all of Equestria!” Twilight shut her eyes, tilting her head to the side. “It’s a goodwill tour! We going to live in each down in Equestria, doing our best to be proper role models to everypony!”

“What?” Chuck asked, his eyebrows raised. How did he do this exactly?

“Oh yes. While we travel, some of us will also be taking classes to further our education,” Fluttershy added.

“And yer going to help!” Applejack added, coming from the Appleloosa orchards.

“You’re here too?” Chuck asked, lifting his left hand to point. Her name escaped him at the moment...

“Course Ah am!”Applejack frowned. “How could I leave my husband-”

“Hold on now!” Chuck opened his eyes now and looked down at them all. “How are you even all alive after that kick?”

“Oh, that was the princess and me,” Twilight responded. “We created a field to catch us all.”

“Magic,” Chuck turned his head to the side and spit. “Thanks Obama.”

“We realized that we couldn’t argue about who would court you. What kind of examples could we be if we fought like schoolyard fillies?” Rarity asked. “So we did the logical thing.”

“Anyone else I’m married to?” Chuck asked.

“Oh, Princess Celestia and Luna. Lyra Heartstrings....” Rainbow mumbled. “There's a list...”

“A what now?” Chuck raised both eyebrows.

“Here,” Twilight reached to her side and gave Chuck a letter. He rolled open the scoll to stand reading out loud.

Dear Chuck Norris. It has come to my attention that you wish a job. Given your past experiences as an actor and in sports, we thought the perfect job for you. You will be the bodyguard and spokesperson along with the Elements of Harmony. To ensure their safety and grant you citizenship, we all agreed to marry you. Best wishes, Princess Celestia.” Chuck lowered the scroll, for once in his life stunned.

“How does it feel to be King of Equestria?” Pinkie Pie elbowed him.

“...” Chuck stayed quiet, letting the realization sink in. If he was married to them all, he couldn’t very well roundhouse kick them all into oblivion. And it did grant him citizenship. And he would be able to travel... Snap out of it Chuck! Princess Celestia is trolling you!

“Chuck Norris?”

Chuck turned to look at the new voice. He blinked twice, spotting Princess Luna walking up to him. Her steps were slowly, and she sported a light blush on her cheeks. Oh sweet mother of-

“Hello, husband.”

Chuck smiled, lifting his gaze to look at heaven as a cloud took a form of Obama. Stephen Colbert, Nicolas Cage, and Charlie Sheen joined him. "Thanks."


The End