//------------------------------// // Chapter 3: D&D! (part 1) // Story: Doctor Whoof presents:Discord in Time! // by Muleicous //------------------------------// D&D! (part 1) “I will never get used to that...” Lyra said as she looked down at her lunch. The Time Vortex always seemed to make her sick to her stomach, and the minty green unicorn somehow knew this wouldn’t be the last time she would toss her cookies. As she struggled to her feet, Lyra noticed Discord walking towards her... with his head completely upside down. “You think you have it bad?” The Chaos God laughed as he twisted his head back to normal, his chuckles filling the air as he knelt next to his pony companion. “So,” Lyra said, her knees wobbling as she fought to keep balance, “Are we lost again or do you actually know where we are?” “Well let’s see...” the draconequus snapped his fingers and summoned his DPS once more, his eyes skimming over the details of the small map. “According to this we’re at the edge of Canterlot... Just a few months after we left.” “Wait what? How?!” The unicorn raced past Discord and shook her head as she saw Canterlot Castle clinging to the side of Mount Mare. “Well, time has a weird way of moving, especially in the Time Vortex. It could seem like only a few days to us, but here it could be years... even centuries!” Discord smiled at the chaotic nature of the Time Vortex. “With out the right ship to go through it, we’re basically at the mercy of time’s whims. I thought you understood that when we wound up in ancient Equestria.” “I just... well...” Lyra looked up, catching her traveling companion snickering, “Shut up! At least I don’t look like the back of an Ursa Minor’s ass.” “True, that would be Bon-bon.” Discord started to laugh, but was then pulled down and forced to look Lyra in the eyes. “Say...that... again. I dare you.” “Alright alright, sorry.” The draconequus stood up and dusted himself off, “I keep forgetting how touchy you ponies are when it comes to love. Anyway, let’s get going. I want to see how my old castle is doing without me standing in the gardens.” Lyra cocked her head to the side, “Don’t ya think that if anypony sees you they’ll... you know, freak out?” Discord looked down at himself, the mix of various creature parts would make for a very odd reaction. Not to mention what Celly or Luna would to if they saw him out and about, after all the last time they saw him he was kind of hypnotizing them. “You have a good point...” the draconequus scratched his chin with his lion’s paw, then snapped the talons of his eagle claw. Slowly, Discord’s arms and legs morphed into hooves and legs, his wings disappeared and his fur changed completely to grey. The Chaos God’s mismatched horns then shrank, just as he cracked his neck. If Lyra hadn’t known any better, the tall grew pony in front of her could’ve been just somepony normal. Well, except for one detail. “No cutie mark Discord?” the green unicorn asked. “Oh... right...” Discord tapped his front hooves together and a large, green balloon with a twisted purple string appeared on his flank. “Call me... Silly-String.” The two then started for the huge city ahead of them, Lyra trying had not to laugh at how normal Discord looked as a pony. *** Princess Celestia stood in the Hall of Harmony, the part of the palace where stain glass windows of various events in Equestrian history where, looking at the face of her old enemy. Discord, immortalized in paint and glass, stood between the images of the two alicorn sisters as they defeated him. However, that was before Twilight Sparkle and her friends wielded the six gems, before Celestia had learned that she and Luna where no longer able to use the magic stored within them. As much as the princess of the sun loved her star pupil, it still pained her to see Twilight use the Element of Magic. Not because she realized that the little purple unicorn would one day grow up and leave her teacher, but because Celestia knew that meant Nightmare Moon was still somewhere inside poor Luna. That was the only explanation of why the Elements rejected them that made sense to the ruler of Equestria. “Luna...” Celestia sighed, her eyes closed. “Yes, Big Sister?” the moon princess called from the other end of the hall. Celestia jumped at the sound of her little sister’s voice, nearly sending a blast of magic at the medium sized alicorn. “Lulu don’t do that!” she shouted, instantly regretting it as a hurt look formed in Luna’s eye, “I’m sorry dear sister, but please be careful... You sacred me half to death.” “I’m sorry Celestia...” the dark blue alicorn looked down at her front hooves, “I was looking for you because... I felt something...” “What do you mean?” Celestia asked, leaning her head down to nuzzle her sister’s. The princess knew that Luna’s odd feelings where not to be taken likely, much like those of Twilight’s friend Pinkie Pie. However, while Miss Pie’s ‘Pinkie Sense’ could be set off by both good and bad future events, Luna’s feelings always meant something bad was soon to come. “I felt... Cold.” Luna began, “As if I was back on the moon, but with out the weightlessness. It was the same feeling I had when... When the Chaotic One attacked.” Celestia felt her spine tingle at the mention of Discord, especially from her little sister. Luna, thought brave as the next pony, often shied away from mentioning the draconequus. It was a bad day for her, and Celestia had always thought that the day the first defeated the Spirit of Chaos was the day Nightmare Moon first appeared in the moon princess’ mind. “Should I have the guard set up a double watch tonight?” the sun princess asked her sister. Luna nodded, “It would make me feel at ease dear sister... Especially with the reports from General Stormbreaker.” As if on cue, a white unicorn in black armor stepped into the hall. His hoof beats sounded loud and powerful, like a herd of buffalo followed him. A scar from the Pony/Griffon wars covered his eye, a scratch he had gotten that caused his right eye to go blind. As he approached the two matriarchs, the general bowed his head in respect. “Your highnesses,” Stormbreaker began, “the reports from Appleloosa where true. We found the strange creatures, but we had a slight problem with the brown colt you mentioned.” “Problem?” Celestia asked, cocking her head to the side. “Yes, the pony known as The Doctor tried to interfear in Torchwhoof’s investigation...” “General, my sister and I allowed you to make Torchwhoof to protect Equestria from threats that the royal guard couldn’t handle, “Celestia’s eyes leveled with General Stormbreaker’s, “and The Doctor is not one of them. The next time he enters an investigation as well, he shall take over. Understood?” Stormbreaker’s gaze never wavered, his eyes, however, did narrow a bit as he spat out a quick, “Yes ma’am.” The unicorn then turned and left the Hall of Harmony to catch the next train back to Appleloosa, his thoughts full of ways to keep The Doctor out of his way... The brown colt was trouble all his own and Stormbreaker knew it. However, before the general could leave, the doors to the hall literally shattered apart. The large wood and metal doors turned to nothing but dust and tooth picks, and in the center of it all was the familiar shape of a tall, thin, draconequus. “Celly,” Discord said, his grin almost wider then his face, “I’m home!” *** Lyra smiled as she looked up at the familiar buildings of Canterlot, the blue skies of Equestria where a much better alternative for the swirling Time Vortex. Even Discord seemed a bit more calm, waiting more then five seconds before he turned the road under one pony’s hooves into oatmeal. The earth pony sunk slowly, yet at the same time enjoyed at taste of this particular trap. It reminded the mint green unicorn of a pony back home, that was strangely obsessed with pots of jelly. “So,” Lyra began, “any ideas on what to do here? I mean, Canterlot’s always been a really stuffy place.” The grey pony next to her yawned, he already felt tired of his old home. Maybe it was the fact that he was stuck in the body of a pony, or maybe it was that he was forced to actually walk instead of enjoying his usual levitation. Either way, it was effecting his creative side, “I’m not sure Lyra... I’ve pulled almost every prank in the book here, before I was turned to stone. Itching powder in the walls, exploding tea bags, hay! even the old ice cream on the horn trick!” “Wow, you’re a bit boring when you’re a pony...” the unicorn observed, then turned her eyes to the white unicorn with a long, flowing, blonde mane. “Isn’t that Prince Blueblood, Disc... um... Silly-String?” Discord’s ears perked up as he also saw the royal brat. He licked his lips and rubbed his front hooves in anticipation, “Oh this is going to be delicious...” the Spirit of Chaos chuckled, but just as he was about to tap his hooves on the ground a flash of light blinded him. Once he could see straight, the Chaos God turned pony and his companion fell to the ground laughing. Prince Blueblood, who obviously took care of his mane for at least three hours a day, now looked more like Pinkie Pie. The royal unicorn’s mane was bushy and nearly poofed up into a spike, and once he found this out the laughs kept coming. “WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MANE!” the prince called out, but his voice was extremely high and squeaky, like he was a small rat. “My voice! My beautiful voice!!!” Quickly, Prince Blueblood ran from the main street of Canterlot, with even the most stuffy pony laughing their top hat off. Slowly, after he recovered from his fit of laughing, Discord ruffled his brow in thought. Lyra, on the other hand, could still barely contain herself. “String! That was amazing!” the mint unicorn paused to laugh again, “That was probably your best prank yet, even that colt laughed!” Lyra pointed to a dark grey pony with a white mane, not recognizing the chuckling Hoity Toity. “That’s the thing, it wasn’t me.” Discord replied, his gaze turning to Canterlot Castle, “I mean, I was going to do it, or something better... But that looked more like... Like Celestia’s magic.” “What?” Lyra finally stopped laughing at the mention of Princess Celestia’s name, “Why would the princess pull a prank?” “That’s what I’m going to find out...” the Chaos God answered, and with that he and Lyra where off. Their hooves moving almost as fast as Rainbow Dash, slowing only when they got close to the palace. ----- Author's Note: Happy Valentine's Day!