//------------------------------// // Yellowstone: Part 1 // Story: The Conversion Bureau: Yellowstone // by Anonsi //------------------------------// Conversion Bureau Off-Shoot Based on Blaze’s original idea Might not follow his world’s rules, but Meh, it’s just a fan-fic of a fan-fic. By: Anonsi (like Anansi the Spider. Get it? I thought it was clever) Yellowstone Part 1: Out with the Old Two years have passed since the camps opened up, and in that time more than half the human population in the United States have shed their old skins for a new pony body and the promise of paradise on Earth. Though many have been transformed, the Equestrian ponies and human converts have remained primarily on the East Coast, leaving the mid-west and onwards abandoned, ripe for resettlement. The six remaining Native American tribes have moved into the many of the major cites of the abandoned territories and have formed a new nation in hopes of preserving their culture. With no one to maintain them, many settlements have become ghost towns ravaged by the elements. Now they lay dormant and empty, save for some that serve as lairs to wild beasts and escaped Equestrian monsters. Nature herself seems to have begun reclaiming some of the land taken from her. As the dwindling human authorities left more and more territories to fend for themselves, wild outlaws seeking riches and power make this new frontier as dangerous as ever. The only semblance of law are the Agents of the dying human governments, who have denied ponification for one reason or another. Whether it be for honor, duty, or glory, these men and women are the only defense for the now expanding pony populace. The Western Frontier has been reborn. *** Twilight Sparkle was reading over some figures in her private office at the New York Conversion Bureau, which was the largest and most efficient one on the planet. A fact that gave her some small feeling of personal pride. She looked at the digital clock that came with the office and saw it read 4:37 AM. She released a sigh that seemed to not only express her weariness, but also her frustration. The figures she was researching were a mix of new lists of human ponification candidates and news reports of violence against ponified individuals by a radical group known as the Human Liberation Front. The numbers we staggering, and were counted in the hundreds. No pony had died yet (thank Celestia), but this was still getting out of hand. “So many,” she said. “How can a race of creatures as violent as them live and thrive? It just doesn’t make any sense.” She decided now was as good a time as any to go to her room at the bureau, at least there she could think from the comfort of a bed. She promptly stood up and walked towards the door making sure the lights were off, a habit she had needed to get used to, as human light switches tended to not have ponies in mind. As she left, her thoughts returned to the actions of the human species of late. “I mean, really! They burn and pillage the planet for…Celestia knows what, and then act surprised when they find themselves on the brink of extinction!” She passed the dormitories which were mostly unoccupied. It could easily be refilled, daily even, if not for the mandate to wait for everyone on the hall to be ponified first. This existed to build camaraderie amongst the occupants, and discourage any doubts about the process being completely safe. As she continued, she found a door that read: “AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY.” “Well, this is me.” She gave a tired sigh and pushed the door open, revealing yet another hallway. She came to a fork and took a left into the staff dorms wherein was her temporary home. “It’s like they just hate the world...” a slight pause when she came to her room. “…but that’s just absurd. I mean, it’s not like the planet has been trying to kill them or anything.” She pushed open the door and entered her room, and with as much grace as a falling cinder-block, collapsed onto her bed. *** “TWIIIII-LIIIIIGHT!” rang a voice from outside her room, “Wakey-wakey! Time to rise-y and shiny!” Twilight rolled over in her bed, looking at the clock on her wall, which showed the time at 9 AM precisely. She could only grimace and groan as she rolled onto her stomach, and prepared to leave the warm comfort of her bed. “C’mon Twilight! You’re gonna be late for ornamentation, and you are never late so I was worried that you were sick and then I thought that maybe one of the cupcakes I gave you was bad so I...” It was at this point that Twilight, with little more than an exasperated sigh, magically opened her door to the bouncing pink earth pony that was eagerly waiting to help Twilight welcome the new ponyfication subjects at today’s orientation. She hopped, skipped, and practically jumped next to Twilight’s bed. The pure and infectious grin she always wore was shining particularly bright today. “Oh golly Twilight, you look awful! Did you get any sleep? I didn’t sleep well once and I was a nappy-napperson ALL DAY! I fell asleep at one of my own parties! I was so embare…” “Pinkie,” Twilight interrupted. “Yes Twilight?” replied Pinkie expectantly. “Could you please be quiet for like…ten minutes,” the unicorn pleaded slightly, her bloodshot eyes barely able to focus on her pinker than pink friend. “Mmm Hmmm!” agreed the pink pony, making a gesture of zipping her lips together. Twilight shifted out of bed and telekinetically picked up a comb from her bedside table. She walked over to a mirror that hung on a wall and began brushing her purple-with-a-strand-of-pink mane. It was an absolute mess, with wild locks going every which-way. Twilight concluded on getting a net or something to keep her mane in line. “MM MMMM!” hummed Pinkie to Twilight. “What is it Pinkie?” Twilight asked sleepily as she turned to stare at her friend. Pinkie had her lips clamped shut around a pile of letters, one of which bearing the royal seal of Princess Celestia. A sudden feeling of dread washed over Twilight when she saw the scroll. Usually, she only got missives from the Princess via Spike and those were usually just to check up on her. For one to be hand delivered like this, Twilight couldn’t shake the feeling that some emergency had presented itself. Her thinking immediately turned towards thoughts of Spike being hurt, or worse. “Pinkie, could you inform Applejack that I won’t be able to do this morning’s orientation?” “Mmm MMMM MMmmm Mmm!” Pinkie hummed, lips still firmly closed. “Thank you,” replied Twilight, slightly bemused despite her worried feelings about the letter. When Pinkie bounced merrily out of the room, Twilight opened the letter with her magic and read her mentor’s unquestionably beautiful handwriting, “My dearest student, Twilight As you know, we are planning to not only expand into the human world, but begin healing it from the wounds they inflicted upon it. I am most pleased to announce that the first family of settlers is scheduled to leave in two days for Yellowstone, a nature preserve that the family will be at the forefront of maintaining. I am having you accompany them as I am afraid that you have not left the Ponification Center since your arrival, and it’s high time you explored this new world. The Human President has also warned me of the possible danger to both you and the family however, and informed me that he is sending his best guardian to escort you safely to your destination. The President has assured me that, although unorthodox, this guardian is fiercely loyal and will die to protect those under his care. Please be careful my student, and always remember the human world is not the same as Equestria. It may not have beasts that equal those of your homeland in size or strength, but they more than make up for it in ferocity. Your eternally proud mentor, Celestia. P.S. Wish me luck with the debate this week, as the Human Liberation Front will be my opponents. I hope you can see it, if not in body, then perhaps via a television somepony will be kind enough to share with you." “Oh that wasn’t so bad,” Twilight said to herself. “I thought someone had died, but-” Then she re-read it. ‘Oh no’ thought Twilight. ‘Oh no no no no no no…’ *** Her two days of preparation passed by faster than Twilight had anticipated, and she couldn’t help feel as though she was constantly forgetting some crucial piece of equipment. So while in front of the compound waiting for this human ‘Guardian’ character amongst a field of abandoned cars, she decided to run through her mental list: ‘Okay,’ thought Twilight, ‘checklist. Okay, so friends: Applejack is in charge, Pinkie and Dash are doing reception, Rarity is ponifying, and Fluttershy is…Fluttershying. Right! Good! Now gear: food, money (Dollars and Bits), flashlight with 4 sets of extra batteries, a comb, a blanket and pillow for camping, a canteen and-’ “Hey!” ‘-do I need those apples? AJ said they were good for anything but I-’ “HEY.” Twilight nearly jumped out of her skin. She was so deep in thought that she hadn’t noticed the tall figure that stood before her. “Oh my goodness I’m sorry!” Twilight tried to rearrange herself to look a bit more graceful in front of her surprise guest, but only aided in making embarrassing movements and silly faces. “Are you Twilight Sprinkle?” the man asked, his face showing signs of mild amusement. “It’s Twilight Sparkle, and yes I am.” She replied, finally taking in the man who was to escort her and a Pony family halfway across a continent three times the size of Equestria. He stood at six feet seven inches (Human measurements were so odd), and wore nothing that resembled a uniform. Instead he sported a wide brim leather hat, no doubt made from the skin of some poor cow, a red plaid over shirt with the sleeves rolled up and chest unbuttoned with a plain white t-shirt underneath, dark blue jeans covering his legs with sturdy looking boots on his feet, fingerless gloves over his hands, and a revolver and knife at either side of his hips. Twilight felt intimidated to say the least, if by nothing else than his height. “I thought human agents wore fancy suits,” Twilight said with a tinge of curiosity in her voice. “Yeah,” he replied looking to one side, like some far off thing had caught his interest, “well when the whole world is going to hell in a hand basket, dress codes aren’t as enforced as they used to be.” He paused and looked up thoughtfully for a moment, “I think they said dressing casual would frighten you wee horses less.” Twilight frowned a bit before letting a forgiving grin cross her face, “We’re ponies, not horses, though you’re not the first one to say that, or call me Twilight Sprinkle for that matter!” She chuckled weakly hoping to ease the tension she felt from conversing with this human that, she assumed, had probably killed more of his own kind than she had years in her life. He gave only a weak smile back, but soon simply stared at her patiently, like he was determining in what way he should respond or silently judging her. It gave the small unicorn an uncomfortable feeling. After an awkward minute of silence he finally spoke, “Anyway, we have to get going. The settlers are meeting us at the train station in about two or so hours.” He walked over to one of the parked cars in the lot, reached inside and pulled out a large black duffel bag, its contents clunking and clanking together. Twilight was glad to see that the human at least came prepared for travel, but wondered why he would remove his luggage from his car. She remembered being told by one of her ponified friends that humans normally only owned one vehicle, but she didn’t dwell on it, as he walked to another car and opened it, throwing his luggage in. “C’mon, this one has a near full tank. Pretty good considering it’s a Ford,” he said to Twilight with a light chuckle, who moved awkwardly towards the passenger’s seat. “Is there a reason you own two cars?” asked Twilight after she deposited her luggage in the back seat and assumed her position within the vehicle. “I don’t. This car belongs to a…” he rifled through the glove compartment and found a wallet, opened it up and read, “…Jericho Lukowittz. Some name huh? I always liked the name Jericho.” He smiled to himself more than to Twilight, who was less enthused about the news. “WHAT!?” Twilight shouted. Her shock was almost palpable, “You’re STEALING this thing!?” “No,” he replied with a stern look, “you can’t steal something someone has abandoned. This car and hundreds of others in this lot are up for grabs as far as the law is concerned.” “But…” even though he had a point, the idea that she might be stealing did not sit right with Twilight, “well…If you’re sure this is alright. But if a policepony stops us I’m telling the truth! I mean the law is the law after all!” “I am the law,” he countered, a dumb grin spreading across his face like he was expecting her to pick up on some joke, but Twilight just stared back with a slightly worried expression. With a sigh he continued, “Whatever. You may call me Agent Hawk.” He extended a hand to the young mare. She reached out with a hoof and he gripped it firmly. “I am…honored Mr. Hawk,” Twilight half lied. Though he seemed like everything Twilight imagined when she thought of wild and lawless humans, she was somewhat flattered that he was there to protect her. They shook on it. After releasing the mare’s hoof, he then began adjusting the driver’s position to his liking, and from a pocket on his over shirt he extracted sunglasses that covered his vision completely. Twilight couldn’t make out his eyes beneath them, but she decided that was probably for the best, as she would feel rather nervous if she knew he was constantly watching her. This way she could at least pretend he wasn’t. She magically drew forth a book she was reading during the days before this particular experience. It was entitled, ‘An Egghead’s guide to Road Trips.’ “Groovy,” said Hawk as he started the engine and began driving. To be continued? Probably. I wouldn’t leave a story just hanging there. Unless no one reads it. Then I would abandon it and eat ice cream. Sweet…non-judgmental Ice Cream.