"So, Anon, how did you end up in the Everfree Forest? Where is your tribe?"
Here it came, Twilight's interrogation, you knew it was coming from the amount of Human in Equestria fanfics you've read but there was just one problem. Out of all the fanfics you read you had never once read one about a Brony teleported to Equestria. The whole premise of that kind of story turned you off, " Hi, My Names X. Don't bother explaining who you are though, I know each and every one of you. You're a T.V. show in my world." That sort of logic really killed it for you, so you usually stopped reading right after the main character said the phrase, "You're a T.V. show."
"I don't really reme-- wait. Tribe?"
Furrowing her brow slightly Twilight gave a worried expression as if she had just gotten something wrong on a test, recovering herself she continued. "Well tribe, I believe that's what they're called, we only briefly covered minotaur's in magic school but I was sure that was what they were called. Were you traveling somewhere with your family and got lost? I've also never seen a baby minotaur quite like you-- what is wrong with your legs?"
"Minotaur? No.. you see I'm a--" Wait minotaur? Don't you people have monkeys for humans to evolve from around here? "You think I'm a baby minotaur?"
Twilight's obvious mistake in logic was hitting her hard, biting her lip she nervously replied, "Well you do look like a minotaur, and I heard that most baby minotaurs lack horns until they mature-- although that still doesn't explain why you're so hairless, and your legs seem to be.. Missing joints."
Completely awe struck you kind of just stopped walking and let your jaw hang open. You probably would have been like that for the rest of the day too, mid step on your way to a tour of Ponyville trying to make sense of what she just said. Luckily Rainbow Dash helped you with this one by bursting into a fit of laughter before dismissing Twilight's knowledge, "I don't know what this guy is but if he really is a baby minotaur then he's mega weak. Even a baby minotaur can lift a pony, not get crushed by one."
Pinkie's mane drooped a little in sadness for a brief second while your cheeks reddened causing you to blurt out without thinking, "No, I'm not a minotaur, I'm a human. And I'll have you know with a little training we're pretty damn strong." To reinforce your point you flex your measly arm, Dash doesn't bother hiding her laughter.
Twilight however becomes even more distraught, "Human? I don't think I've ever heard of one of those before? Where do you come from? Do you live in the Griffon lands?" You reply with a dumb look on your face.
"Look-- uh, I really can't remember much of anything, one second I'm on my way to my friend Josh's house and the next second… Well actually I can't remember anything after that."
Hearing this Fluttershy raised her ears and knitted her brows in worry "You poor thing, I knew those wounds on your head were serious but they must have shaken you up more than I thought." Twilight while sharing the same worry of Fluttershy seemed to have a hint of disappointment in her face.
"Yeah.. Sorry, I really can't remember much." though you could see the gears working in Twilights head as she mulled over the situation. What you said hadn't actually been a lie, you really had been on your way to Josh's house… but then what? You seriously had no memory from that point onward perhaps that concussion did jar your memory a bit.
Luckily you were saved by Applejack next, "Well we may not know what ya are but as Rainbow Dash kindly put it," she gave Dash whom was still chuckling a sour look. "Ya don't see capable of harmin' anypony and seein' as how yer still on the mend we'll just have to save the questions for until yer memory comes back."
Good ol' honest Applejack, I owe you and that sweet southern accent my thanks… but still, how did I get here? Discord decide to pluck my sorry ass from Earth and thrust me into this place for his own chaotic amusement? As if, had Discord really wanted something chaotic he'd have grabbed the most perverted pony freak out there and set him loose in Ponyville…
…
…..
"Thanks Applejack, as soon as I'm able to remember what happened I'll be sure to let you guys know. So where are we headed to again?" you question as Ponyville comes into view and your heart leaps in joy. Soon you would be INSIDE Ponyville, you kind of wondered if all those Minecraft maps you played on had any accuracy to them.
"Well we really didn't have anywhere in particular set in mind but just a general walk around town and meeting a few respectable ponies should do it." Applejack replied much to your dismay. You weren't going on a tour to every nook and cranny of Ponyville? What about seeing each of their houses? Their bedrooms...
Sighing you realistically think about it, to them you were just a weird lost creature that has had a bit of a memory lapse and needs a hand till he's back on his feet. Not some V.I.P. hero that just saved the town from something. As you all finally cross the bridge into Ponyville your smile returns as you behold ponies bustling around their daily business. A nearby Stallion crosses your path and briefly looks up at you with a puzzled face before continuing on his way.
"Well here we are, Welcome to Ponyville Anon, how do you like it? Does it jog any memories?" Twilight added though her words failed to reach you, all you could do was stare in complete utter horror. "Anon, are you alright?"
"W..what?" Alright? No.. wait, I'm seeing things-- if I just turn my head and take another look. As you turn your head slowly to the right your eyes lock onto the stallion that crossed your path not two seconds earlier, his backside facing you as he walks toward an unknown destination.
When you were in the sixth grade you remembered that you had to do a project on gravity and had built a pendulum, the pendulum was gaudy at best and when you lifted one of the balls to start the motion it would slap haphazardly against the other one and required constant outside force to continue its ticking back and forth.
"Anon?" Fluttershy questioned as she walked over toward you and stood on her hind legs placing a hoof on your forehead. "Are you ok, you don't look so well."
Your eyes deadlock on Fluttershys' abdomen. In the back of your mind the question arose of how you failed notice earlier before you break your gaze and look up at her face. Standing there with a worried look on her face was innocent Fluttershy.
"Never been better."