“This is terrible! Oh, what was I thinking?”
I looked over the sketch of my latest design. The mare in the drawing was wearing a large-collared blue blouse covered by a dark tan vest with thin blue and white lines, an equally tan and very short pair of shorts on her flank, and cannon-length boots. Even the realization that the mare I had drawn wearing this ensemble bore a remarkable resemblance to Carrot Top didn’t do much to lift my spirits for more than a moment – this was just awful. I crumpled the paper up and tossed it over my shoulder onto the floor.
It was just the latest in a long line of fashion disasters I’d been responsible for recently. For more days than I care to count, I’d been able to create nothing but one horrid design after another. There were a few, I shudder to say, that would not look out of place in Mother’s wardrobe. Others, I’m not sure I couldn’t make work, but just because I could does not mean that I should. I ask you, does the world need more paisley? It does not.
Ever since Hearts and Hooves Day, it was as if my muse had deserted me. I hadn’t created anything this bad since that first disastrous fashion show for Hoity Toity that nearly ended my career scarcely before it had a chance to begin, and those dresses weren’t exactly entirely my fault. Here, though, I had no such excuse. Nopony else helped conjure up these crimes against fashion – only me.
I took in the state of my inspiration room. All over, the floor was littered with dozens of crumpled pieces of paper no better than the one that had just joined them.
This... this was not organized chaos. This was just a mess.
It was all thanks to that wonderful-yet-terrible outing with Applejack where I came to some realizations about the nature of my regard for her. To be more precise, it was thanks to the outing’s aftermath. Ever since then, we’ve barely had any time together at all. Sweet Apple Acres keeps her busy, to be sure, but this is more than that – Applejack’s been avoiding me, I just know it.
Even in the little time we’ve seen each other, she’s persisted in acting like nothing happened that day. As though one of your closest friends calling you pretty and the kind of mare they were looking for in a special somepony was the sort of commonplace thing that didn’t warrant talking about. To be honest, I wasn’t really sure what to do about my newfound feelings for Applejack, but pretending they didn’t exist certainly wasn’t going to solve anything. She must be having the same problems as I, so why didn’t she want to even mention it?
One might suggest that this was simply all in my head, that the reason Applejack hadn’t brought up her romantic inclinations was that she didn’t have any. But that couldn’t be true. I know what I saw that day in the park, and I’m certain Applejack feels the same way about me that I do about her.
Doesn’t she?
At any rate, she could have still spoken to me about it. Tell me it was a mistake. Tell me you didn’t mean it the way it sounded. Tell me something. Don’t simply ignore me and wait for me to take the hint. Don’t leave me to ponder and pine and remain completely unable to get any work done. I have obligations to clients, and I cannot meet those obligations if I cannot create, and I cannot create if I cannot concentrate because I’m sitting around pouting like some stupid lovestruck schoolfilly because my stubborn friend is too afraid to admit that she likes me already!
I... I apologize for that. I’ve just been under a lot of stress lately, and – no, that doesn’t make it alright. That isn’t the way a proper lady is supposed to behave. I am sorry.
It isn’t even Applejack alone that I’m annoyed with right now. If Rainbow Dash hadn’t come along and startled her like that, none of this might have happened. Applejack and I would simply have had a pleasant excursion, and any romantic discoveries would have come in due course. Perhaps she would be holding me in her hooves this very moment. At the very least, I wouldn’t have my friend hiding from me and my ability to focus ruined.
The worst of it is that I don’t think Rainbow even realizes what she did. Once I was able to collect myself over the situation with Applejack and returning home to find the mess Sweetie had left for me – it’s a long story; I don’t want to get into it right now – I went over to Sugarcube Corner to see how Pinkie Pie was faring. As it turns out, her earlier downcast demeanor was not, as I feared, the result of rejection, but remarkably stunning obliviousness on Rainbow’s part. It’s truly amazing the obvious invitations she failed to pick up on. As I’ve said, that mare doesn’t have a romantic bone in her body, so it’s completely plausible that she wouldn’t be aware of the consequences of what she undoubtedly deemed a “harmless little prank.”
I’m ashamed to admit that, in my more frustrated moments, I’ve wondered if she would care even if she did know, or just dismiss it as sappy nonsense that was “totally unradical,” but I know that’s not really fair to her. There’s a reason that the Elements chose her as an exemplar of loyalty during our altercation with Nightmare Moon. I’m sure that she’d be appropriately apologetic once she had things explained to her, but that wouldn’t do anything to actually solve the problem.
So that was where I stood right now – with two problems with a pair of my closest friends and zero workable designs.
Well, Rarity, you’ve been in tougher scrapes than this. Just keep pressing on, and inspiration will come eventually. I grabbed a bolt of fabric from my supplies and brought it over to get a better look at it. It was chiffon in a lovely seafoam green. I tried to think of something to use it for when my thoughts were interrupted by an angry cry. Opal was standing in front of the cloth, her back arched as she swiped at it and hissed.
“Oh my, Opal. Do you really think so? I rather like it.” How very odd. Opal and I usually agree on things like this. This must be because my judgement’s compromised. Perhaps I shouldn’t press on just yet. Perhaps I should take a walk to clear my head first.
-------------
I had been walking for a few moments when I realized where my hooves had unconsciously been leading me – right towards Ponyville’s marketplace. Right where Applejack was. That was the last thing I needed right now – the whole point of this walk was to get my mind off of Applejack.
I quickly stopped and turned around, only for my vision to be filled with pink.
“Oh, um... hey, Rarity,” Pinkie said as she climbed off me. “Didn’t think you were gonna just stop like that.”
I tried to dust myself off as best I could after picking myself off the ground. I hate how getting dirty makes me feel. Even so, I did my best to suppress my annoyance. “Pinkie, what were you doing?”
“Well, I was just out inviting ponies to this surprise party I’m throwing for Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth ‘cause Dashie promoted them and of course you’re invited because you’re one of my bestest best friends and what kind of party would it be if I didn’t invite my bestest best friends? But you were looking kinda blue – not blue-blue like Dashie and Mrs. Cake, though, sad-blue – and I thought it might cheer you up if I surprised you with your invitation, so...” Pinkie jumped up on her hind legs, grinning. “Surprise!”
That was why I couldn’t get too upset with Pinkie. No matter what unusual thing she was up to, it was usually in service of making somepony smile. Or, at least, trying to. “Thank you, Pinkie, but I’m afraid it’s more serious than that.” I explained the problem I was having with my designs, although I didn’t tell her why.
“Ooh, maybe I can help! I’m super creative – I’m always coming up with random songs out of nowhere, and I invented my own pedalcopter so I could fly with Dashie! Hey! That reminds me,” she said, launching into another tangent, “I still need to get that thing fixed. It hasn’t worked since grumpy ol’ Gilda broke it. Do you know anypony who could fix it?”
Ordinarily, I would wonder how somepony could design and build something in the first place but be unable to repair it, but I long ago realized it was best not to ask questions like that when Pinkie was involved. Instead, I just told her that I didn’t.
“That’s alright, I’ll find somepony. Oh!” She perked up again. “I still need to help you with your dresses!”
I remember all too well the last time Pinkie “helped” me with a dress. “That... really won’t be necessary.”
She wasn’t listening, though. She sat on her haunches and tapped her forehead with her hoof, muttering to herself. “Think, think, think... Ah!” She pulled a lantern out from... somewhere – best not to dwell – and held it over her head. “I-dee-ah!”
Very funny.
Pinkie was by my side, one foreleg over my shoulders and the other held out in front of us. “Just picture it, Rarity – Paper. Dresses.”
What? “Could you repeat that, darling? I don’t think I quite heard you.”
“You could make paper dresses! Then you could make a lot more of them and if somepony got chocolate fudge all over hers she wouldn’t feel so bad ‘cause it wasn’t supposed to last too long anyway!”
I raised an eyebrow. “Chocolate fudge?”
“Hypothetically.” Pinkie’s grin turned sheepish for a moment before returning to its normal exuberant state. “Anyway, what do you think? Don’t paper dresses sound like a super-amazing idea?”
To be honest, I didn’t even know where to start. The idea was just so absurd. “Pinkie, you... you are joking, right?”
“Yeppers!” She looked very pleased with herself. “And it worked, didn’t it? You’re smiling!”
To my surprise, I realized I was at that. “I guess I am. Thank you, Pinkie.” I pulled her into a hug.
She returned the embrace. “Hey, cheering up my friends is what Pinkie’s here to do.”
There was one trifling detail my mind kept poking at. “Pinkie... the fudge wasn’t part of the joke, was it?”
Pinkie smiled a very guilty smile as her eyes darted all over the place. “I-it was hypothetical fudge, I swear!”
Pinkie really is an awful liar, but she did just cheer me up. I suppose I should just let this one go. Besides, that wasn’t what I really wanted to ask her, anyway. “I believe you. So, anyway, how are things with you and Rainbow Dash?”
I’m not sure how, but Pinkie became even more animated than her usual animated self. “Dashie’s great! We’ve been having a lot of fun together.”
“That’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you both.”
“Although,” she continued, somewhat subdued, “I wish she liked kissing as much as I do. She doesn’t seem to enjoy it very much.”
I must admit, I did find Rainbow’s behavior difficult to understand. Mind you, I’m not saying that I have the same attitude to... socializing as Cloud Kicker, simply that intimacy with the pony one loves is an amazing experience. Why Rainbow didn’t like it was a mystery. “I wouldn’t worry about it. From what you’ve told me, she doesn’t really have any experience with relationships. She’s probably just anxious about it. She may just need time to find her hoofing.”
“Do you think so, Rarity? I was kinda worried she didn’t really want to be with me.” Pinkie’s mane appeared to have straightened out just a bit.
“I don’t think that’s something she’d do.” I’m certain Rainbow wouldn’t do that to Pinkie. I’m fairly certain. I’m really quite fairly certain Rainbow wouldn’t. Really, I am. I’d just feel a little less uneasy if I understood what she was doing. “I’m sure everything will be fine.”
Pinkie perked back up, so at least she’s fine. “Oh, goodie! ‘Cause I really can’t wait to bang my best friend.”
Did you know that you can very nearly choke on your beverage when you aren’t drinking anything? “Pinkie!”
“Yes?” she asked, looking at me innocently.
“A little decorum, please.” I leaned in towards my friend and lowered my voice. “A pony making love to her marefriend is supposed to be a special moment between the two of them. I think Rainbow would appreciate it if you showed some discretion about discussing your love lives. I know I would expect nothing less from my own special somepony.” The idea of asking Pinkie to be more discreet may seem quixotic, but she and Rainbow are both really good friends. I would love to see things work out between them.
Pinkie seemed to consider this for a moment. “I think I got it.”
That’s a relief. “I’m glad to hear tha–”
“You don’t want a party for when you finally get to bang Applejack.”
I didn’t quite catch what she said next, but when the coughing subsided, she was still talking. “...why somepony wouldn’t want a party, but it wouldn’t be as much fun if you didn’t want to be there.”
This needed to be cleared up right now. “Pinkie, listen to me. I am not going to ‘bang Applejack’. First of all, a lady does not ‘bang’,” I said, rolling my eyes as I repeated the crude expression. “A lady will make love, certainly, and she may not be averse to... socializing, but she never, ever ‘bangs’. Furthermore, Applejack hasn’t expressed any interest in me since Hearts and Hooves Day.”
“But you like her, don’tcha? You could ask her. I asked Dashie. I asked and asked and asked!”
Ask Applejack myself? Put my feelings out there before somepony who seemingly wants to pretend nothing happened? If she turned me down... “I can’t do that. I-I just can’t.”
“Sure you can, silly filly! Just go to her and be like” – she adopted what I assume was supposed to be a Trottingham accent, which I assume was supposed to sound like me – “‘Hello, Applejack darling. I think you’re really pretty and want to go out with you. What do you say?’ See? Simple!”
“When you thought Rainbow was rejecting you, it hurt, didn’t it?” With a touch of sadness in her eyes, Pinkie nodded. “What if it wasn’t a misunderstanding? What if she really didn’t want to date you? That would hurt a lot more, wouldn’t it?”
“Y-yes.” Oh Celestia, I think poor Pinkie was starting to tear up. To my surprise, I was as well.
“So you understand why asking Applejack isn’t so simple.”
And then, Pinkie did something completely unexpected. I don’t mean she suddenly burst into song for no reason or something like that. With Pinkie, that wouldn’t be unexpected at all. What was unexpected was that she didn’t say anything. She simply nodded.
She was silent for long enough for me to start worrying that I’d managed to depress her, when she spotted something over my shoulder and perked back up.
“There’s Fluttershy! I need to go invite her to the party!” Pinkie started excitedly bouncing over to our friend. I too was glad to see Fluttershy. With all of the trouble I’d been having, I hadn’t had a chance to tell her about my fabulous idea of helping her with her love life. I just know she’s going to be as excited for this as I am. She’s such a sweet, caring pony. She deserves somepony special in her life, and I’m just the pony to help her find that somepony.
When I caught up to Pinkie, she was in the middle of inviting Fluttershy. “...and it’s a surprise party, so don’t say anything to Blossomforth and Cloud Kicker!”
Fluttershy hesitated. “A-actually, Pinkie, I... I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it.”
“Are you sure?” Pinkie asked. “It’s gonna be super-fun! Plus, it’s for the weather team, so there’s gonna be lots of other pegasususes there!”
“Oh, um, yes. I’m sorry, but I have so much to do... you know, with the animals.” How odd. Fluttershy’s hiding something. I know she can be intimidated by large crowds, but I don’t think that’s it. She usually enjoys Pinkie’s parties, and they can be rather large. Pinkie likes to invite everypony she knows, and she knows a lot of ponies, so if that wasn’t Fluttershy’s problem, what is? I wish I knew.
For her part, Pinkie didn’t appear to notice Fluttershy’s dissembling. “Okie dokie lokie! But if you can re-organize your schedule, you’re always welcome to come!”
You know, this party Pinkie’s throwing would be a wonderful opportunity to start helping Fluttershy find love. With all the ponies there, we’d be sure to find some that were her type. I don’t think she would be too comfortable discussing such matters in front of anypony else, though. “Pinkie, can I speak with Fluttershy?”
“Huh? Of course you can speak with Fluttershy, silly! She’s standing right there!” Leave it to Pinkie to think that was what I was asking. “Wait! Is this one of those things where you two can’t see each other because of orthogonal quantum tachyons or something and I need to go get Twilight so she can reverse the polarity and modulate the phase variance?”
Pinkie’s bizarre question about tacky things threw me enough that it took me a couple of moments to realize that I actually did know how to answer it. “No. I was just asking if it was alright with you if I talked with Fluttershy.”
“Of course it’s alright! Why wouldn’t it be?” She just stood there, grinning and not moving. I may have been too subtle.
“Pinkie, I meant if it was alright if I talked to Fluttershy alone.”
Pinkie’s head drooped and she stared at a spot at the ground she scraped at with her hoof. “A-alone?”
Oh, dear. That wasn’t what I intended at all. “I didn’t mean it that way, Pinkie. I just need to talk to Fluttershy about something she told me in confidence, and I don’t know if she told it to you also. If she didn’t, and I talked about it when you could hear me, I would essentially be telling you Fluttershy’s secret, and–”
I was interrupted by Pinkie’s hoof on my mouth. Her hoof, which was just on the dirty ground, was on my mouth. There was dirt on my mouth! I repressed a shudder. I just thank Celestia I can hold my food with telekinesis when I eat. I simply don’t know how I’d manage if I couldn’t.
“Say no more. Don’t worry, Fluttershy, your secret’s safe with me! Well, it isn’t actually with me, it’s with Rarity, but it’s still safe. I’ll see you girls later. I still have so many invitations left to deliver, and I wanna get through as many as I can before I meet my fillyfriend for lunch.” Pinkie’s eyes shone as smiled a smile that was broad even by her standards. “My fillyfriend. Dashie’s my fillyfriend! I still can’t believe it!” She produced a notepad, presumably from the same place she kept the lantern, and consulted it. “Let’s see,” she said, flipping through pages, “Rarity, check. Fluttershy, check. A-ha! Sea Swirl’s next. I think I saw her in the park earlier. Gotta go, bye!”
As soon as Pinkie had taken off, I frantically wiped at my mouth with my foreleg. When I was sure it was as clean as I could get it without water, I realized Fluttershy was looking at me expectantly. “Rarity,” she asked, “what did you mean when you said you needed to talk to me about my secret?”
Finally, an opportunity to share my enthusiasm for the project with Fluttershy! My own romantic troubles may be keeping me from meeting my career obligations, but I won’t let any of that interfere with my responsibilities as a best friend. “Well, darling, ever since our trip to the spa on Hearts and Hooves Day, I’ve decided that I should help you find somepony special. Somepony as kind-hearted and wonderful as you deserves romance in her life, and what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t help? Oh, you and I are going to have so much fun!” I couldn’t help but giggle a little. This was so exciting!
Fluttershy kept breaking eye contact with me, darting her eyes to the ground. “Um, th-thank you, Rarity, but I don’t r-really think I should.”
I was worried something like this might happen. This was all due to that old relationship that she didn’t want to talk about. I just needed to convince her that she didn’t need to be afraid. “Fluttershy, please, look at me.” She did. “I may not know what happened to you in the past, but believe me when I tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way. Falling in love is one of the most wonderful things anypony can experience, and it bothers me to think of you missing out on that because of a bad experience when you were young. Please, let me help you with this.”
“It... it’s not that.” Fluttershy dropped her head, letting her mane fall over her face. “After what happened back then... Ponies were hurt because of me. Ponies are still hurting because of what I did.” She looked out at me from behind her mane, and I could see tears starting to form in her eyes. “I don’t deserve to be in love.”
I pulled Fluttershy into a hug. “That isn’t true. Whatever happened, I promise it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to love. Everypony does. Even that... obnoxious showmare that was here last year, if she can find somepony who’d want to stay with her.” Calm down, Rarity. Now is not the time for bitterness, not when your best friend needs you. “My apologies.” I dabbed the tears from her eyes with my fetlock – not the one on the foreleg I had wiped off the dirt with, the other one. “You trust me, do you not? Please, trust me now. Let me help you.”
Fluttershy began to think this over. “O-okay, Rarity. If you think it’s alright, I’ll try.”
-------------
Pinkie really does throw the best parties. It was a testament to how much thought she put into making sure everypony attending enjoyed themselves. In the hooves of a lesser hostess, I doubt I’d be having a very good time. After all, I really didn’t know the guests of honor all that well, and as this was meant to be a celebration of promotions for the weather team, quite a few of the guests were either weather ponies themselves, or farmers attempting to build a rapport with the weather ponies. I can hardly blame them for wanting to make connections that would help their businesses – it’s just what I would do in their place – but it didn’t make for very interesting conversation as far as I was concerned. As a unicorn, it wasn’t as though I could be a weather pony even if I wanted to.
However, as I said, Pinkie was careful to make sure that everypony at her parties was happy, so she made sure to invite a lot of the ponies in town that weren’t involved with the weather service. I had just had a pleasant conversation with Cheerilee about literature. She was telling me about a new mystery novel she was looking forward to. I made a note to myself to see if I could find a copy. While it may not be my favorite genre, I do appreciate the fine details that go into crafting a good mystery.
I was mingling again when I spotted Applejack from across the room. Our eyes met, and I could tell that she was signaling me to come over. Could this be it? Could Applejack finally be ready to discuss our Hearts and Hooves Day and what it meant for us? This was perfect! I felt just like the heroine of a romance novel. I began to make my way over to her – with purpose, but not so as to seem too eager. I must admit, now that it was going to happen, I actually felt a little nervous, but I was determined to see this through. Remember, Rarity, a lady should carry herself with grace and beauty. And poise as well. Must not forget poise.
When I got over to Applejack, she was conversing with a dark gray stallion. “Hello, Applejack,” I said, with all the charm I could bring to bear. “What a pleasure it is to see you tonight. And you as well, Thunderlane.” The latter returned the greeting, before excusing himself to go speak to his new boss and trotting off towards Blossomforth.
Now that we were alone, Applejack leaned in to whisper something to me. This was it! This was really, really it!
“Thank ya kindly, Rarity. I thought he’d never leave.”
Oh, come on!
She must have picked up on my irritation, as she continued, “He was tryin’ to get me to set him up with... ya know what? Ain’t important who.”
That’s why she wanted me to come over? Because she didn’t want to help somepony? “Why didn’t you agree?” I hissed under my breath. “I would have.”
Applejack scrunched her face up in a frown in a way that I am sure I would find cute if I wasn’t so angry with her right now. “I got my reasons.”
“Well, I’m just glad I could help you avoid helping somepony for ‘your reasons’.” By this point, Applejack and I practically had our muzzles pressed up against each other. I could feel the warmth of her breath on mine. It, naturally, smelt of apples, with a slight hint of cinnamon as well. Oh, how I wished she would just – confound it, Applejack! I’m trying to remain indignant here, and you aren’t helping!
“Maybe I already know there’s somepony else who’s sweet on the same pony he is, and maybe I didn’t wanna tell him that. Ain’t like he’d believe me if I lied to him.”
Oh, dear. I’d let my temper get the best of me, and I’d assumed the worst of Applejack. Dear, wonderful Applejack. I completely understood why she did what did. Love triangles are such an unpleasant business. Somepony always winds up unhappy. Stories tend to solve the problem by making one of the parties involved a clearly unsuitable choice, and usually a miscreant to boot, but life is scarcely so accommodating.
I turned my face away from her as I felt shame burning in my cheeks. “My apologies, Applejack. I should have known better than to think that about you.”
“Shucks, Rare, ‘tweren’t all your fault. Reckon I shoulda explained things better. Wanna just call it even?” I glanced back to see a blushing Applejack tentatively holding out her hoof, which I accepted.
Several moments passed in silence, with both Applejack and myself quickly looking at each other and then away again. In an attempt to break the silence, I offered, “So, how have you been lately? It’s been so long since we’ve really had a chance to talk.”
“Um, well, we’ve all been real busy at Sweet Apple Acres lately. I’m sure ya know how it is since ya got yer boutique and all.”
Anypony who knows anything about Applejack knows that she’s terrible at deception. Even if I hadn’t already known she was avoiding telling me something, I would have immediately suspected she was avoiding telling me something. With as long as we have known each other, I cannot imagine why she would think that I, of all ponies, wouldn’t notice.
Still, pointing that out would only serve to make her stop talking altogether. “Oh, of course, darling, I understand completely. Sometimes, it’s just one thing after another until you’re completely swamped. At least you were able to make time to come here tonight.”
“Heh, yeah.” Applejack chuckled. “Can’t argue with that. Ya know, Mac an’ I set Pinkie up with some of Sweet Apple Acres’ cider for this shindig. From one of our best batches, too. Ya want some?”
As I followed her over to the cider barrels, I continued, “I’m sure that now that you do have some time, you’ll probably take care of all the things you wanted to do but didn’t have time for. I-is there anything like that? Something you’ve intended to do but haven’t had time?” Surely Applejack can see where I’m going with this.
“Hay, I’m always glad to have a chance to see the gals.”
Why was she so determined to make this difficult? “Naturally, but is there perhaps something else as well?”
Applejack’s eyes began shifting around as she spoke, looking everywhere but at me. “Err... um, no, Rare, can’t rightly think of anythin’ like that right now.”
D-did she seriously just... oh, why does she have to be so... so... infuriating!
I could still salvage something out of this. “Since you don’t have anything planned, Fluttershy and I would love for you to join us at the spa. Sometime this week, maybe?”
“That’s awful nice of y’all,” Applejack demurred, “but the spa ain’t really my kinda thing. Little too frou-frou for me... err, no offense.”
“Oh, I don’t know, Applejack. I think you might like ‘frou-frou’, as you put it, if you gave it a chance.” Perhaps a small demonstration was in order. I lifted Applejack’s hat up.
“Hay!”
“Oh, hush now. This won’t take but a moment.” I removed the tie from her mane. I brought the ends of her mane down over her shoulders and did my best to make it look as good as possible, although there are limits when one is working without a manebrush.
“An’ just what do ya think you’re doin’, foolin’ around with my mane?” Applejack protested. I had to lift her hat up as she jumped in an attempt to reclaim it.
I looked around for something reflective. The glass front of that cabinet seemed suitable enough. “Would you at least take a look at my work before you mess it up?”
As Applejack stared at her reflection, I asked, “You look fabulous, don’t you think?”
“Well, yeah, I suppose, but –”
She did like it! “And that was only from a quick grooming. Just imagine how great you could look with a full makeover!”
“But it just ain’t practical.”
It would appear that Applejack wasn’t going to let this be easy. “Some things are more important than being ‘practical’. Style, for example. You shouldn’t underestimate the confidence one can receive from looking one’s best.”
Applejack’s ear twitched and she snorted as she moved closer to me. “An’ just what, may I ask, is wrong with the way I always look?”
Nothing’s wrong, I wanted to say. You’re beautiful. Unfortunately, I couldn’t seem to get the words out. My tongue flopped uncooperatively in my mouth like one of those fish Father likes to catch. I managed to stammer something out that I think was about enhancing beauty being part of my special talent. I don’t know if it was even coherent. It was just so embarrassing.
I actually sort of hope it wasn’t coherent, if only because of how Applejack responded. “I suppose next you’ll wanna put me in a cocktail dress an’ heels t’go apple buckin’.” It was so absurd, so dismissive. The thought that one of my closest friends didn’t respect what I did would be devastating. I’d like to say that I responded in a graceful and dignified manner.
It wouldn’t be true, but I’d like to say it.
-------------
After a debacle of a conversation with Applejack – things only went downhill from there – I went back to making my way around the party. It was when I was talking to Dr. Colgate that I saw Fluttershy. To be more precise, I saw a wide-brimmed floppy hat with a long curl of pink hair running down from underneath and only the faintest hints of a pony hiding behind a potted plant.
Well, whatever her reluctance to come to the party, at least she was here now. I politely excused myself from Colgate and went over to see how my friend was feeling.
“Oh, hello, Rarity,” Fluttershy said. “It’s, um... a really nice party, isn’t it?”
“For the most part, yes,” I said, unable to push my less than pleasant discussion with Applejack out of my mind. “You don’t look like you’re enjoying yourself, though.” Now that I was closer, I could see that she wasn’t just trying to hide behind a giant hat, but sunglasses as well. If anything, it all seemed like it would only serve to make her more conspicuous.
“I don’t? I’m sorry.” Fluttershy gasped. “Oh my, I hope Pinkie Pie isn’t upset with me! I’m having a good time, I really am.”
I simply couldn’t understand why Fluttershy was so apprehensive about this party for Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth. She wasn’t even this nervous at that party Pinkie threw for Rainbow’s uncouth griffon friend, and she’s a lot more outgoing now than she used to be. Unless... yes, that must be it. “I think I know what’s wrong.”
Fluttershy’s breathing sped up as she exhaled in deep, rapid bursts. “W-wrong? Nothing’s wrong. Everything’s perfectly normal! Just timid old Fluttershy, the pony scared of her own shadow.” She plastered a nervous grin on her face.
“It’s alright, Fluttershy.” I placed my forehooves on her shoulders and looked comfortingly into her eyes. “It’s perfectly natural for a pony to be nervous about starting to date again after a long time. Just know that I’ll be here for you the entire way.”
“Oh! Yes, you’re right; th-that’s exactly what I was worried about.” I knew it. Score one for a keen eye for detail. “I do feel better now that you’re here. Thank you so much.”
“Think nothing of it, darling. What are best friends for? If you like, we could begin right now.” With all the ponies here, it would be easier to figure out which ones Fluttershy might be interested in. “Only if you feel ready, of course.” She nodded her assent. “Wonderful! I suppose the first thing I should do is find out your preferences. Do you favor stallions or mares, or would you be fine with either?
“Um... I’m interested in a mare.” It was hard to tell due to the shadow cast by the brim of her hat, but I think I saw Fluttershy blush a little. After a moment, she continued, “That’s okay, isn’t it? I mean, I know you like stallions, and I didn’t know if your advice would work for mares, too.”
“There are differences, true, but there’s also much about love that’s universal. It shouldn’t be a problem. Besides, while I do favor stallions, I could see myself with a mare – if the right one came along.” The thought was not without pain, though, and not solely because of my recent difficulties with Applejack. I leaned in close to whisper into Fluttershy’s ear. “If that were to happen, she would not be my first. There was a mare I have to thank for learning a lot about love from.” In romance, as in fashion, failure is often more educational than success, and while meeting that charmless blackguard that calls himself royalty may have the most... instructive lesson, it wasn’t the only one.
To my surprise, Fluttershy came and draped a wing around my barrel. “I’m so sorry to hear that. Would you like to talk about it?”
While I didn’t understand the reason for Fluttershy’s embrace, I can’t deny that it felt good. I returned the gesture by leaning into the hug and nuzzling the side of her face. Sometimes a purely platonic show of affection from a good friend can mean more than anything. “Thank you, but there isn’t much to say. I made a bad decision due to enthusiasm and naïvety, but it was some time ago. It doesn’t really bother me anymore.” For some reason, that only resulted in her squeeze growing tighter.
I couldn’t help but realize that we had gotten away from the point of this conversation. “But enough about me; I’m supposed to be helping you. So, Fluttershy, what kind of qualities are you looking for in a marefriend?”
Fluttershy blushed. “Um, well, I guess I just want her to be a nice pony. Somepony who cares about others and looks out for them. I’m afraid I haven’t really thought about it more than that. Is... is that alright? I’m sorry I’m not able to be more help.”
“Don’t worry about it, dear. It’s only natural to be unsure about things when you’re just starting out.” I can’t say I was surprised by the kind of pony Fluttershy was looking for. Fortunately, Ponyville is a nice little town full of nice ponies, so we should be able to find one for her. If not, I could always look to the connections I had been building in Canterlot. There’s this charming cellist of my acquaintance that I don’t believe is seeing anypony.
But I’m getting ahead of myself. “Perhaps we should start by having you spend time with some ponies. Try to view them in a romantic context, so you can get a better idea of the kind of mare you’re looking for. Why don’t you try talking to some of the ponies here and see if anypony stands out to you? Then we can work on getting you some dates.”
“D-dates?” Fluttershy tried to shrink back under her hat. “I don’t know if I could ask somepony out on a date. What if they said no? I don’t think I could handle that kind of rejection.”
Her innocence would be charming if she wasn’t so nervous. “Ponies such as ourselves don’t need to worry about that. When you talk to the pony you have your eye on, drop subtle hints at your interest in them. Flirt with them a little. If they’re interested, they will ask you out. Thus, we ask without asking. Simplicity itself!” Okay, so it’s not been so successful for me lately, but I maintain it almost always works. For the sake of Fluttershy’s confidence, I’m just leaving out the “almost always” part.
Fluttershy bit her lower lip. “Are you sure that would work for me? I’ve never flirted with anypony before. I don’t really know how.”
Oh. That was a good point. “I’ll go talk to somepony. Follow me and watch what I do, just try not to let her see you. You may want to lose the hat.”
I scanned the party looking for the right mare for the task at hoof. After all, if all went as it should, I would be arranging a date, so she couldn’t be just anypony. I spotted an excellent candidate over by the refreshments, sharing a drink with a pegasus I’m fairly certain is on Rainbow’s weather team. We’ve always had pleasant interactions in the past, and I have fairly good reason to believe she finds me attractive.
Yes, Berry Punch would make for a most agreeable dating companion.
Berry is Ponyville’s premier vintner, and the wine she makes is some of the finest I’ve ever tasted. Fine enough, in fact, for me to send bottles to Fancy Pants and some of my other Canterlot contacts last Hearth’s Warming.
As I made my way over to talk to her, I was troubled by this nagging feeling that I was missing something, that something Fluttershy had told me was more significant than I realized. If only I could put my hoof on what it was...
“Yes!” Berry shouted, slamming her mug on the table and breaking my train of thought. “Sorry, Dropsy, you lose. The winner and still undisputed champion of Equestria, Berry Punch!”
Oh, right. This. From what I’d heard, Berry could be overcompetitive at times – a far too frequent problem in Ponyville, if you ask me – and she never turned down a drinking game. Or, for that matter, lost one. From the look and, not to be crude, scent of things, she’d been winning rather a lot tonight.
Well, in for a garnet, in for a diamond.
Berry’s erstwhile pegasus competitor practically knocked me over as she stormed past, muttering something about being called “Dropsy”. I collected myself and politely cleared my throat to get Berry’s attention. She turned to me and her face lit up, save for a right eyelid that lazily remained half-closed. “Charity! Hey!”
Ch-charity?
Go home, Berry. You’re drunk. Still, I was determined to press on. “Hello, Berry. It’s Rarity, by the way.”
“Oh, heh. Sorry, Charity,” she said sheepishly. “Hey! Wanna play a game? Betcha I’ll win!”
I’ll bet you would. “Perhaps some other time. How have you been lately? How’s the vineyard?”
“Great! Vineyard’s great. Doin’ great.” She was starting to encroach on my personal space. “Wanna know why?”
Sure, why not? I’ll play along with this. “Why’s that, Berry?”
“‘Causa my customers.” She stopped and seemed to deliberate on something for a moment. “Hey. Hey hey. I gotta... gotta tell ya something, Charity. ‘Simportant. Y-yer wunna my best customers. Been gettin’ orders from Canner... Cander... Canterlot ‘causa you. Wanna letcha know how much I appreciate it.”
Despite the intoxicated way she’d put it, it was a really sweet gesture on her part. “You’re welcome. With a product like yours, I –” I was cut off as I suddenly found my lips otherwise occupied. Specifically, occupied by Berry’s lips, as she leaned forward and pressed them against mine. I should have pulled back, but I was so startled, that... and there’s her tongue, cold and wet from the cider, inside my mouth. Perfect.
Well, this has been nothing short of an appalling disaster.
-------------
“I’m sorry, Rarity, I don’t think I’m a very good student. What you did clearly worked, but I didn’t learn anything at all.”
“That’s quite alright. In fact, it would probably be for the best if you forgot everything that just happened.” I’m certainly going to try. Doubtless Berry will too, assuming she even remembers tomorrow.
She tasted like apples, but it wasn’t the same at all.
“It’s my fault really, Fluttershy. Berry was clearly a poor choice on my part.” One I sincerely hoped nopony else saw, least of all my friends. Rainbow would doubtless not let me hear the end of it for weeks, and Pinkie would probably have already started planning a “Rarity and Berry Punch are dating” party. Applejack would... hmm. Applejack would be reminded that I’m not the type of pony who’ll be available forever if she doesn’t act, so I suppose it wouldn’t all be bad. “We can try again, if you like.”
“If you think it’ll help, I’m willing to try.” Fluttershy looked like she was starting to doubt herself. I needed to make sure my next choice was perfect. I needed somepony I could trust to favor my advances. I needed – yes, she was exactly what I needed. The solution to my problem was right before my eyes. There was Cloud Kicker, practically draping herself over the body of her paramour.
I can’t say I didn’t feel somewhat bad for Blossomforth, having to share the pony she loved the way she did. Still, I suppose if it truly bothered her, she would have put an end to either it or the relationship by now. Love can make ponies overlook quite a few problems with the object of their affection, but even love has its limits.
I may have spoken too hastily, as Blossomforth just shoved Cloud Kicker away and stormed off.
You know, I really do think this is one of the best ideas I’ve had in some time. First and foremost, it will help Fluttershy, but there’s so much more. Applejack has to realize that I’ve no intention of waiting around if she’s going to continue acting as though things between us are the same as they’ve always been, and an evening with Cloud Kicker could be just the way to accomplish that. The sight of an up-and-coming fashionista and Element Bearer such as myself dining with Ponyville’s resident ladies’ mare in one of the town’s finest restaurants would certainly set tongues wagging. Applejack would be sure to hear about it from somepony.
Oh my, that makes me sound vindictive, doesn’t it? I’m not trying to be, I assure you. I don’t want to hurt Applejack’s feelings. I want her to be my marefriend, but even more than that, she’s my friend. I simply don’t know what else to do at this point. Applejack herself would tell you that there are plenty of trees in the orchard; there’s no point in continuing to buck a tree that isn’t producing fruit. Not when there are plenty of other trees that would welcome somepony like me... bucking... them.
I fear that metaphor may have gotten away from me a bit. I hope my point is clear, though. It’s not too much to ask, is it?
This could really benefit Cloud and Blossom’s relationship as well. I know some ponies have a problem with the way Cloud Kicker chooses to live her life, but she’s not harming anypony. True, she could stand to be more refined, but she’s hardly the only pony in town I can say that about. The strange thing about Cloud Kicker, though, is that she seems to be going out of her way to skip the best part of a relationship.
Being physically intimate can be enjoyable to be sure, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the joys that two ponies in love experience. For some reason though, Cloud Kicker only pursues the former. Perhaps she and I spending some time together – I certainly don’t plan on jumping into bed with Cloud Kicker or anypony else without being properly courted beforehoof – would help her realize the value of connecting with ponies on an emotional level instead of a mere physical one. She’d be happier for it, and from the look of things, so would Blossomforth.
This was going to help so many ponies. Oh, Rarity, you are a genius.
I approached Cloud Kicker and gently tapped her on the shoulder to get her attention. She turned around, but she didn’t say anything. All she did was stare at me, and her gaze hadn’t stayed with my eyes for very long. She wasn’t even trying to be subtle about it this time. This was going to be easier than I thought. Not too easy, I hope, or Fluttershy won’t learn anything.
As much as I was enjoying the attention, especially from somepony as experienced in such matters as Cloud Kicker was, I had come over here for a reason. Just a little bit lon... no, no. Focus, Rarity. “Cloud Kicker? Is everything alright?”
She quickly turned her attention from my flank. “Everything’s fine,” she said with a besotted grin.
Her marefriend’s anger certainly suggested otherwise. “Oh? I think Blossomforth might beg to differ. She seemed quite put out with you. I do hope it’s nothing too serious – the two of you make such a lovely couple.”
“Blossom and I are just friends.”
That was hard to believe, especially with the way she’d been hanging all over her “friend” not but a few moments ago. Still, she didn’t look like she was joking. If she wasn’t, that added an interesting new wrinkle to the situation. “The two of you are entirely platonic? I must say, the two of you seemed rather… physically affectionate for mere friends.”
She responded with a shrug. “What can I say? I’m a very physical pony. The way I see it, a hug’s a much better way of showing somepony you’re their friend than a bunch of words.” It was hard to argue with that sentiment, although I wouldn’t exactly call what Cloud Kicker had been doing a simple hug. “Plus, that kind of thing just feels nice. That, and it’s a fun way to tease Blossom. It’s kind of like a game for us; I’ll get all huggy and snuggly with her and she’ll pretend it annoys her a lot more than it really does. Friendships are weird that way.”
I can certainly attest to friendships being strange at times. To think, it was little more than a year ago Applejack and I had our tiff at Twilight’s slumber party, and Rainbow flew all around Ponyville hiding because she wanted to avoid talking to Pinkie. “I think I understand.” Speaking of Applejack, I caught a glimpse of her over to the side speaking with Pinkie. “Friendships can develop in ways nopony would ever expect and even fewer would understand.”
Applejack and I made eye contact. She waved at me, and I smiled back at her. It was such a simple, friendly gesture between two ponies. If only everything between us could be so simple.
I turned my attention back to Cloud Kicker. It was time to put my plan into effect. “Still, I had been so certain that you and Blossomforth were closer than mere friends. It offends my sensibilities that I was mistaken on that count. I am afraid I simply cannot be satisfied until you have found some way to make it up to me.” I acted insulted, but we both knew that’s all it was, an act.
Cloud Kicker resisted taking the bait, though. “So since you jumped to conclusions about me and Blossom, now I owe you?”
I believe I know what the problem is. Cloud Kicker prefers her... socializing to be free of emotional connections, but she must know I’d be looking for more than that. Now that I thought about it, that’s surely why, despite her transparent attraction, she’s never propositioned me. Even so, I must admit a bit of pique. I may have figured it out, but that doesn’t mean that anypony else has.
At any rate, I would need to make my intentions here rather more overt if I was to meet with success. “That is hardly the way I would describe the situation. Obviously, the only way I could have been mistaken about the two of you is if you acted deceptively. Clearly, you intended to provide other ponies with the false impression that you were in some sort of open-ended relationship. I think nothing less than a trip to the spa and a proper dinner will suffice to clear the debt you owe me for the wounds you have inflicted upon my pride.”
I decided to bring forth the greatest tool I had at my disposal, my not-inconsiderable charm. It’s served me well all my life – it helped me get the last percentage point I needed to graduate with honors, it helped me make my first connections in the fashion community, it even helped me make some wonderful friends like Twilight Sparkle. It could help me now as well.
“It should be a rather enjoyable excursion. I must say, we really should have gotten better acquainted with each other before now. Why, I can hardly believe that we’ve never even exchanged more than a few passing words.”
Before I had a chance to see Cloud Kicker’s response, we were interrupted by the sound of somepony pointedly coughing. Applejack had approached us, and had levelled an icy glare at Cloud Kicker.
Now I just needed to feign disinterest a little, and see how she responded. “Applejack, was there something you wanted?”
When she turned to respond, her anger melted away, replaced by anxiety. “Well, erm – apples!” she exclaimed. “We got a, um... there’s somethin’ mighty important comin’ up in a couple months, an’ I was wonderin’ – if’n it ain’t too much trouble – if ya could fix me up somethin’ nice to wear to it. ‘Cause... ya know... I wanna look nice… fer the thing that’s comin’ up an’ all… yeah.”
It worked! I knew she liked me! I tried not to smile too much; I wouldn't want to let everything slip now.
“Oh. I see,” I said. “Of course I could spare some time for a friend in need, Applejack. I imagine we would need to spend quite a bit of time together though; we can hardly put you in an outfit that is anything less than absolutely perfect, now can we? I trust you can spare some time from the fields for that?”
“I reckon I can spare some time for ya.” Applejack appeared to be studying the walls of Sugarcube Corner rather intently, although it was not easy to tell from my brief glances in her direction.
“Ah, excellent.” I glanced over at Applejack and saw that she was looking back at me. Our eyes met but for a second before we both turned away. I may have let a fillyish giggle escape my lips, but how could I help it? "So, then, you'll stop by the boutique soon? I have some wonderful ideas that I think you’d be perfect for.” Many of them even involved fashion.
“I’ll be there.” A smirk formed on her lips. “‘Suming ya don’t mind wastin’ yer ideas on a ‘provincial boor’, that is.”
Ah, right. I’d forgotten I’d called her that. “I’m sorry about what I said earlier. It was uncalled for. You aren’t really a provincial boor,” I said, staring at my hooves.
“Shucks, Rare, I’m sorry, too. Y’all ain’t a prissy prima donna neither.”
We both remained silent for several moments, when I realized that I’d come over to talk to Cloud Kicker, and I’d been ignoring her. “Cloud Kicker, I’m –” I had intended to apologize for my rudeness and excuse myself to talk to Applejack, but she’d gone. When I turned back to Applejack, she was scowling.
“Right. An’ just what was that all about, anyway?”
“What was what all about, dear?”
Applejack's right ear flicked a couple of times. “Ya know what I mean, Rarity," she said forcefully. "'Fore I got here. Y’were just throwin’ yerself at Little Miss Anythin’-with-Hooves.”
Throwing myself? I wasn't about to stand by and let somepony cast aspersions on my character, even if it was Applejack. “I beg your pardon, Applejack. I was not ‘throwing myself’ at anypony. I was simply having a pleasant conversation with Cloud Kicker."
Applejack pressed forward, her irritation growing. "Ya said y'all should get better acquainted." She snorted, her hot breath brushing against my face. "There's only one way that trollop wants ta 'get acquainted' with anypony and ya know it."
Did she just– was she calling me– I cannot believe Applejack was accusing me of only being interested in... that. "You're being rather unfair to her – to both of us. I should think that, at the very least, you would know me better than that." Right then, I was hit by a burst of inspiration. If I didn't give her a chance to speak, I had her right where I wanted her. Yes, this was sure to work. "Still, if I was interested in... socializing with Cloud Kicker – and I'm not saying that I am – but if I was, I don't see why I should not be free to do so. After all, I'm not currently involved with anypony, am I now? Perhaps there is something I have overlooked, though. Tell me, Applejack, can you think of anything?"
Applejack began to stammer. "Well... um... I, uh – 'cause yer better than that." She seemed surprised by her own outburst at first, but then the corners of her eyes began to crinkle, and her lips began to curl into a smile. It was such a self-satisfied little smile, I just couldn't...
I slammed my hoof to the floor. "You're impossible!"
We stood there, glaring at each other. My barrel was heaving so intensely, I thought my heart might burst. An eternity passed and we simply stared at one another. Finally, it was Applejack that broke the silence.
"So, uh, tomorrow good for ya? Fer that thing?"
"Tomorrow would be lovely."
-------------
I reflected on the day's events as I prepared myself for bed. Pinkie had thrown a wonderful party, Fluttershy had taken her first steps towards love, and I was to see Applejack tomorrow. All in all, it was a good night. Such a night should be preserved for posterity.
I went over to my desk and removed my diary and a quill. As I was opening my diary to the next blank page, a folded piece of paper fell to the floor. Curious, I picked it up and began to read.
Dearest Rarity, it began. Smashing news! I am most gratified to receive your acceptance. I had worried that the size of the request might prove daunting, but...
It was a letter from Fancy Pants. He was planning on giving Fleur de Lis dresses for her birthday, and he'd thought of me! Naturally, I agreed. Some might think designing seventeen unique dresses for the same pony too big an undertaking, but I found it a joy. Especially for somepony like Fleur. Her body is so elegant, almost... regal. While I hope someday to design for one of the princesses, having my work adorn one of the most prominent members of Canterlot society is nothing to scoff at.
Fortunately, I had finished all the designs and measurements for Fleur's order before the stress of Hearts and Hooves Day sapped my creative energies. All that remained was to actually sew them, but I had time.
Wait. How much time did I have?
I quickly skipped to the bottom of the letter. When I saw the date listed there, the shock released the hold I had on it, and it fluttered to the floor. How could I have been so irresponsible? I was supposed to have those seventeen dresses in Canterlot the day after tomorrow!
I put everything back into my desk as neatly as I could and extinguished the candle. I looked longingly at the comfort of my bed as I made my way back down stairs. I don't think I'd be getting any sleep tonight.