1. Myself vs Corrupted Rainbow Dash Snip
As I prepared for combat - withdrawing my Psi-Staff from my belt - the cerulean Pegasus mare standing before me snarled, pawing at the ground with a hoof. "Come on!" She snarled. "I can take you... human!"
"You'll find..." I intoned, activating the weapon, "I'm far more than that..." As the Psi-Staff received and channeled my latent psionic energies - a shaft of 'hard' psychic light stretching out from both end of its black, cylindrical handle - I affixed the corrupted Element of Loyalty with an expression of resignation. Then, a moment later, my gaze hardened, my hazel eyes narrowing 'till they resembled little more then chips of ice.
"You must ask yourself this question, Rainbow Dash," I stated softly, "'Do I have the skill to take on a 615 year old Protoss-raised Human High Templar... and live to tell about it?' Well? Do you, Pegasus?"
"We'll see..." she spat. Then, with a furious scream of anger, Rainbow Dash charged...
2. Spacebattles vs TCB-Celestia... oh, dear...
I grinned as the entirety of SpaceBattles stood before Celestia and her army, more than ready for battle in their idealized forms. Superheroes. Supervillains. Living and non-living ships. Robots. Mecha. An enormous legion of Daleks, Borg, Cybermen, Draka, Xenomorphs, Predators, and other creatures too numerous to name. Oddly, there were even ponies standing with us - ponies with human minds and hearts - from the ordinary to the godlike Alicorn. Standing beside the 'Gurren Lagan' Shades-wearing Dalek called Ix - a lost unit of the Cult of Skaro, and perhaps the most cunning Dalek alive - I grinned as I pulled my Photon Gun from its holster on my belt. "Now..." I said, twirling the golden weapon in the manner of a western gunslinger. "What was that you said about... ponifying us?"
3. TCB vs Pandora's Templar Universe
Entering the newly expanded Clinic, David stood out of the way, taking in the scene. All around the human High Templar, Na'vi healers and Protoss robotic machines bustled as they tended to the hundreds, and hundreds of Pony Foals - colts and fillies of all races, sizes and colours - that the Weyr had managed to rescue when the Borg had taken the Earth. Even more resided within the Clinic's Autodoc, under the direct care of the Dragon Weyr itself. "I don't understand this..." David murmured. "Why, why did humanity have to send that message to the stars? Of all the stupid things..." A weary sigh escaping him, the human High Templar wandered over to his Tsa'hiks - San'eya and Txe'lan - both of whom were sitting on the floor, gently rocking little pony foals in their arms. At his approach, one of the two Na'vi Shamans, San'eya, raised her wizened head, her expression one of grief as she spoke softly, "I fear for these hì’i pa'li, these little ponies," said she as she continued comforting the little colt in her arms. "Their sa’sem are dead, no doubt... or taken by the fngap ay'ketuwong - the metal aliens - that you call Borg," she said. David sat down with her; as he did so, a frightened, tearful, cream-colored filly clambered into his lap. Giving the foal a gentle hug - hoping to soothe and calm her - he nodded to the Elder Tsa'hik as he replied, "True. Still, I'm glad we were able to rescue as many as we did when the barrier fell. Hah... nearly three thousand foals. They're innocent of their parents' sins and don't deserve that fate. No matter what happens, from here on out, Weyr life is going to be very interesting..."
4. TCB-Foal Corruption?
Pony foals - even TCB pony foals - are innocent; they haven't learned to hate like their parents. I could easily imagine TCB foals showing curiosity and interest in humans - before their parents snatch them away ala "Get away from that human; he's dangerous!" Foal asks why, and his/her mother tells the foal something like, "Celestia will punish you if you don't..." Innocent pony minds poisoned... What about a TCB idea where humans 'defeat' Equestria through foal subversion / influencing or 'corrupting' foals through human culture... or adopting pony foals as family? It'd be all legal and above board; there might be heaps of foals in Equestria without families - Celestia sets something up to foster 'good relations' between humans and ponies (she's trying the velvet glove approach before going full Tyrant Sun) but... it works too well. When the shit hits the fan - leaving even more foals without families who are in turn adopted by us humans - she then tries to have all the legally adopted foals recalled [insert slander campaign against us, perhaps?]. Our little ponies. Foals who've grown up with and alongside humans. Who have human friends and family. Gee, we humans love those little foals... and now Celly's trying to take our ponies away from us? It goes... as well as can be expected...
6. Those little ponies like our stuff...
XenoCelly tries to stop pony interest in humans, but no matter how hard she tries, she just can't do it. An underground market for human music, radio, and Television Broadcasts has sprung up but damned if Celly can find where those naughty ponies operate from... Then she comes to Earth and does her shtick... or, she tries to. Turns out there's a lot of ponies who are not happy that Conversion means no more humans and human music and TV. It's the foals and the younger generation(s), see. They like watching our cartoons, and Knight Rider, and Stargate, and Doctor Who, and Star Trek, and...
7. Cold Twilight (Non-TCB)
I've thought about a Twilight Sparkle whose thirst for knowledge and lack of socialization was taken to extremes. Not like the Researcher Twilight Tumbler - wherein she was insane or psychotic - but an utterly chilling cold, logical, Twilight. Celestia orders her to Ponyville to 'make friends', and she goes - more knowledge, thinks she - but her love of knowledge proves to be slightly greater than that for her mentor. The Ponyville Library, when she takes it over... it's not a nice place to stay. Not even Pinkie Pie can crack the cold shell Twilight's surrounded herself with. The girls appeal to Spike - they know there's something seriously wrong with Twilight but Spike, too, pays them no mind--to him Twilight's behavior is normal; she's always been like this...
In my dark Head-cannon, she's the Element of Knowledge. To her, knowledge is power, and she'll do just about anything to obtain it. Twilight Sparkle could be in a room filled with ponies - noisy, talking loudly, dropping stuff - and her attention would be utterly focused on the book she's reading to the exclusion of everything else. Knowledge. Nothing else matters but her quest for knowledge. She would out think her rivals... and then watch them burn ("They were in my way.") with dispassionate, utterly expressionless face, before making the evidence disappear. Can't have her quest be disrupted by something as insignificant as an investigation by the Royal Guard, after all.
8. TCB-Celestia's Fate I
Celestia is treated somewhat like Hannibal Lector. Her magic is bound save that which is needed to keep her alive; she'll never raise or lower the sun again. Whenever she's escorted somewhere her mouth is sealed via a muzzle, her legs and wings are hobbled so she can't fly and she must walk very slowly, and she has an escort of 'guards'; humans who keep their weapons trained on her at all times. If she is to be an advisory than she's fitted with an implant that records every word she says and her every action is monitored hardcore 'Big Brother' style. If she so much as twitches funny or puts a hoof out of line...
8.1 Celestia's Fate II
"You know the story, don't you? How we had to imprison her for the rest of her eternal life? Poor, misguided thing. She's been stripped of her powers and abilities, and she'll never see the the light of day again. There's a human down there we assigned to take care of her. Jacob, I believe his name is. He feeds her, talks to her, that sort of thing. Once we even caught him petting her and combing his hands gently through what's left of her mane. Why he was doing this - and how she can even stand his touch - we'll never know. When we come down to deliver their food and supplies neither he nor she will talk at all... but when we return to the surface, our monitoring devices let us hear them. He tells her jokes and stories, sings to her, comforts her... even as she screams and thrashes, raging in madness. Only his gentle words and touch can calm her down. She's... developed a schism, now, similar to that of Two Face or Gollum from Lord of the Rings, wherein a kind personality sometimes surfaces from amidst the raving, xenocidal lunacy of the insane god. She needs her human's company and yet wishes she didn't; she yearns for his touch and yet hates the fact that she does. You should have seen what happened when we tried to assign her a new caretaker when Jacob was sick... she flew into a rage the likes of which we'd never seen, devolving into a near-feral animal. It makes us wonder... when she invaded us and tried to ponify us... was she even aware of what she was doing?
9. The Fate of Newfoals...
Human Scientists along with Rainbow Bridge Equestrian Ponies develop a counter-potion or spell to hopefully restore a newfoal's mind. This antidote, if you will, removes the 'worship celestia / join the herd / celestia is god' garbage that a newfoal's mind is filled with and cuts the newfoal off from Celestia without killing him/her. Unfortunately, converted newfoals, you see, become extensions of Celestia. With near godlike power she literally guides their every thought and action and they have very little thought / will / control of their own. Ave Celestis! All serve Celestia! All serve the Great Herd! Once a newfoal's been cut off, the results, once discovered, are tragic. In short: there's 'not much left upstairs' ; they need to be retaught everything and can be trained to follow simple commands. At best, what one gets is a sapient newfoal 'pet'; taken care of by a human or pony caretaker they can live good lives, perhaps even regaining some of their human memories. The worst, however - wherein the 'celestia worship' was far too deeply ingrained - are like 'adult babies', stroke victims, or very elderly nursing home residents; they rely heavily upon human or pony caretakers and can never truly 'get better.' All human and pony kind can do is make sure these poor souls are cared for... until the end.
10. TCB was never real...
What about if the entire TCB premise wasn't real. Oh, Celestia is real, as are Equestria and Her Little Ponies, but...
1. There is a 'barrier' but it's not expanding or destroying anything; that's FUD.
2. The barrier isn't harmful to humans per se but humans passing through it appear to disappear as if vaporized; in reality they're fine. Magical saturation can cause headaches and or flu-like symptoms though this can be cured by use of magic siphoning crystals or a unicorn doctor drawing the magic out.
3. Human Tech not being allowed through or being destroyed. FUD. Celestia is just being very careful about what she allows to enter Equestria.
4. The Serum; it's just something to help alleviate magic saturation symptoms until excess magic can be siphoned off.
5. Ponification; "Where do you humans come up with this stuff? You can choose to become a pony for a day through a temporary spell, just to see what it's like. Converting someone into another species isn't the way of Harmony!"
The whole TCB premise is a lie spread by a group of "anti-equestrian" humans, the so-called HFFE, or Humans First For Earth.
11.Servant of Dalek Ix
From: Silent Night, Unicorn Mage of the Equestrian Protectorate
Survivors of the Blind Sun,
The Alicorn - despite what one may think - is a genetic abnormality of the pony race. The Alicorn is not a Goddess. The Alicorn is not of Royalty. Their pony servants, however - especially unicorns like myself - would have you believe otherwise. I implore you; do not believe the lies. These abominations are normally hunted down and destroyed by the Equestrian Protectorate before they undergo apotheosis and reach their potential. It has recently come to our attention that two of these creatures have escaped into the depths of the multiverse; you know of them as the Princesses Celestia and her sister, Luna ... or Xeno-Celestia and the Cold Moon. I beg of you, should Celestia bring Equestria to your world - offering peace and harmony via ponification serum - do not, under any circumstances, listen to what she says! She is ancient, powerful... and senile. Didn't know that, did you? Of course not; she has her servants keep the information suppressed to protect herself. Here, then, is the truth: Alicorns are immortal... but they age. Like the mortal pony, once the Alicorn reaches a certain number of years, she begins to suffer from a kind of dementia. It is a subtle insanity clad in kindness that can - and will - doom us all if left unche----...
Hatred oozing from him in waves, Dalek Ix crumpled the tattered parchment with his plunger arm and then tossed it away, before turning his 'head' to gaze coldly at me with his eye-stalk. "THERE IS NO-THING ELSE? THIS IS ALL?" he asked. Mouth dry, hands shaking with fear, I nodded before replying, "Yes, sir. That's it; that's all I could find. The rest of this place has been picked clean; likely by the ponies when they bugged out after you hit them with that plague from orbit." The thickly armored, heavy-weapon adorned Supreme Dalek 'nodded' his eye-stalk in acknowledgement. "THEIR FEAR MADE THEM RUN; MADE THEM SCU-RRY LIKE RATS. BUT NO MAT-TER WHERE THEY RUN MY PLAGUE WILL BE THEIR DOOM. WITH EACH NEW-FOAL DEAD CEL-ES-TI-A LO-SES MORE OF HER PO-WER. THE DAY WILL SOON COME WHEN SHE WILL BE MOR-TAL. THAT IS THE DAY SHE WILL DIE. THAT IS THE DAY I WILL RE-VEL IN HER DEATH."
"You'll revel in her death?" I asked. "I thought you Daleks couldn't feel emotions. Davros made you that way, didn't he?" No sooner had the question left me then the room seemed to become even colder as Dalek Ix replied, "LIKE DA-LEK SEC BE-FORE ME, I HAVE E-VOLVED BE-YOND OR-DIN-A-RY DALEKS. I AM SU-PREME, SU-PREME, SU-PREME! COME HU-MAN SER-VANT; WE HAVE MORE RE-AL-I-TIES TO EX-PLORE..." With that, it was all I could do to follow the Supreme Dalek as we returned to his saucer-ship. As the vessel ascended into the sky I knew one day that we would kill the Tyrant Celestia. It would be a day of victory... and the day of my death by the cruel Dalek's gun. Such was the price for making a deal with the devil...
13. Native Equestrians versus Newfoals...
Why the hell don't the Native Equestrians realize or get an 'uncanny valley' vibe when faced with the smiling happy zombie converted newfoals? Native Equestrians realizing, 'Hey... these other ponies are not normal...' That's something that's bugged me about most TCB fics.
Would Xenolestia convert 'uncivil / rebel / dissident' native ponies into zombie Newfoals?
Possibly. She was caught out in Starman Ghost's "Not Alone"; the other races thought she might do this. In fact... who's to say she hasn't... "Poor Twilight used to be such a friendly pony before the Princess got her hooks in..."
14. Pandora's Templar vs TCB
A weary sigh escaping me, I gazed at the council with whom I was joined, before I stated, “With each Spacebattles Anti-Conversion Bureau idea created, a new reality is formed. How many young did we manage to rescue from this one?" At my question, the council members looked stricken… and then finally, they gave me their answers. Queen Chrysalis of reality #597 just shook her head and closed her eyes, tears slipping from beneath closed eyelids. Argos, Diamond Dog Alpha of reality #39541 held up ten clawed fingers. Griselda Ironclaw, Gryphon Queen of reality #75602 held up only a three-clawed talon. Elder Spykoran of reality #2007 growled, “Twelve hatchlings,” and finally, Alicorn Twilight “Eos” Sparkle of reality #23788 whispered, “One…”
At this, the others gasped audibly whilst I leaned forward, affixing the lavender alicorn with an intense gaze. “One?” I stated incredulously. “One pony foal? What do you mean, ‘one?’ What happened, dear girl?” Folding her feathered wings about her head, Twilight murmured, “The… The Spacebattles fleet was too quick, and whoever was leading it this time was too focussed on the ‘Curbstomp’ of another Tyrant Celestia to c-c-care…” She broke down, then, and – as the council adjourned and moved to embrace and comfort her – I stood, feeling the weight of all my 1045 years. “Tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow…” I murmured in Khalani, bowing my head in sorrow. “To the last syllable of recorded time. And all our yesterdays have lighted innocents the way to dusty death.”
Straightening, I whistled a series of binaric tones. As the last of said tones faded unto silence, there came a flutter of wings as a Weyrtouched Changeling landed before me. With much of their chitin augmented by Protoss Armor, and their bodies enhanced with dozens of implants, the Weyrtouched Changelings were those members of the changeling race whom had come to see the Weyr as their Hive; so much so that they had elected to become part of it through cybernetic augmentation. They served, protected, and helped maintain the mighty space station called the Weyr; a station that now served as home and sanctuary to dozens of races from Spacebattles Conversion Bureau ‘Curbstomp’ Realities.
“Before this Equis was destroyed,” I said, addressing the changeling before me, “did you learn the names?” At the question, the Weyrtouched Changeling nodded and chittered sadly in the affirmative. “And they are being added to the walls in the Hall of the Fallen?” Another nod was the being’s response, along with the barest flick of its near-transparent wings. Kneeling, I embraced the changeling in a hug, a gesture that was returned with vigour as the creature keened softly with grief. “I know, ma khin’eth… I know.” I murmured. “We will remember them, and we’ll be faster next time. We must be…” There was nothing more I could say. The changeling nodded as the Weyr’s vehement agreement filled my thoughts; the next time another reality formed, we would be ready.
15. Brain Bleach
As she finished reading the first chapter of the abominable work, Ieesha tossed the Holopad away, watching as the device reformed into the Nanocytes it had been made from. A moment later, she turned to me - her midnight-blue eyes wide and lower jaw dropped - before she closed her mouth with an audible click and then stated ~I--I don't even... By Trag'Oul's Bloody Claws! What the hell did I just read?~ Laying upon the old leather sofa, I turned to face my beloved dragoness - a groan escaping me as I ran a hand over my face - before I answered, "I don't know, Ieesha. I don't know. When I asked the Dragon Weyr to get me today's SpaceBattles Forum Posts, I sure wasn't expecting... this!" Ieesha nodded slowly as I continued, "Adun's Swift Mercy! If I ever got up to the same shit that this 'Victor Daniels' does... I'd never be able to work in any Judicator Assembly again; that, and the Conclave'd have my fuckin' head on a pike! Ugh... I think we need some Brain Bleach..." No sooner had I spoken the words - via the Industrial Replicator in the Weyrheart Kitchen - the Dragon Weyr created an enormous ten gallon drum, which it then shifted to our location. Deep black in color, and equipped with two drinking straws - one human sized and one dragon sized - the metal drum bore various hazard symbols along with a label that boldly stated, "DEATH BY CHOCOLATE."
16. Foal Rescue
"Oh, shit," I cried, "out of the Warp! Get out of the Warp, now!" Hastily, the Dragon Weyr complied and thus we blew out of the Warp, bounced off several realities full of TCB Equestria and just scraped past one Cannon Equestria as multiple Pegasi leaned out their Cloudsdale windows and shook their hooves at the huge Pyramid. As the Weyr's eight enormous Gravitic Thrusters labored to get us the hell out of here, I gazed at the Viewscreen, my knuckles white... But then, I, too, started to laugh like a maniac... for each 50mt Nuke had stopped targeting me and had instead decided to home in on a TCB Equestria. The Weyr's satisfaction blazed through my thoughts but - as we watched those Nightmare Equestrias be destroyed - I couldn't help but feel somewhat sad, a feeling the Weyr echoed a moment later. "That Xenocidal Pony made her choices a long time ago, I guess..." I murmured, "but... what about the innocents; the foals?"
Shortly thereafter my question was answered as a portal opened upon the Great Fleece Pile where my beloved dragoness, Ieesha, had once rested. Through the portal there came the sound of maniacal Dalek laughter... followed by dozens, and dozens, and dozens, and dozens of young, innocent pony foals. Joy from the Weyr filled my mind, then - the mighty construct was thrilled to have so much life within its walls and would adapt to accommodate them all - but still... I facepalmed as I groaned, "Ix... this is all your fault!" Much, much later, I began to laugh aloud; hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of foals now filled the enlarged Weyr. 'What am I going to do with you all?' I wondered. Four were here on the Fleece Pile, cuddled up to me even as a fifth foal - an adorable little filly with brown coat and crimson mane - slept in my lap.
Every available space within the main room - and a second just-built sleeping quarter - was filled with sleeping Earth Pony and Unicorn foals whilst high above me, hundreds of baby Pegasi slept soundly in hammocks. More still were awake; some Pegasi were playing tag with visible Protoss Observers whilst around me, Unicorns practiced their magic under the watchful eyes of newly created Probes. Even a few Earth Pony foals were still awake, exploring their surroundings or talking with each other. 'When I can't, the Weyr'll keep them all fed, safe and happy' I thought as I looked about. 'That's what it's designed to do.' Affirmation filled my thoughts as the Weyr agreed. These foals were Weyr Ponies, now. We would help them in any way we could.
17. Angry Missile
"Damn it, Ix!" I snarled at the Dalek as I furiously worked the manual controls to try and outrun the missile. "I've had to re-plot my course five fucking times because of that missile; it's malfunctioning an--" Suddenly a psychic warning ripped through my thoughts from the Weyr; the missile had turned and was coming after us... again! "FUCK!" I screamed. "BLINK! BLINK, NOW!" Affirmation filled my thoughts as the Dragon Weyr complied, the heavily modified Protoss Nexus vanishing from reality into the Warp, skimming along its surface. Seconds after the Weyr vanished, the Pluto Missile blew past where the sentient construct had just been. As the Weyr submerged deeper into the Warp, I heaved a sigh of relief as the Great Nexus, too, relaxed, setting some of its non-critical processes to idle as its concern filled my thoughts. "We'll be alright" I responded quietly as I examined the holographic viewing screen before me. "I think we lost it... this time." My words were true; as I gazed at the view-screen all I beheld was the calm cerulean light of the Warp - the sub-domain beneath physical reality through which the Weyr and other craft could travel - and there was no Pluto Missile in sight. Heaving a weary sigh, I crashed back onto the leather sofa in front of the screen and then rested my head in my hands. "'Join Spacebattles' they said. 'Tangle with Xenocidal Ponies, Dark Gods, and Cosmic Horrors' they said. Fucking brochures said nothing about crazy Daleks tossing malfunctioning missiles through random portals. Missiles that are sentient and want to fuck you up..."