(Oh look, it’s another heart pounding episode of Sgt. Frog! No, not really, just Giroro cleaning his guns. Isn’t this riveting?)
It was a bright and sunny day on the planet Earth. The cranky Corporal Giroro sat in his tent, repairing one of his many guns. It had been another week of failed plans, bad blunders, and Keroro being his lazy self. The corporal was hungry for some action. He heard someone unzipping his tent door.
“Who’s there?” He asked, eyeing the door suspiciously; his favorite weapon drawn and ready to fire.
“It’s Tamama! Sarge has some awesome news!” The veteran warrior groaned.
“Somehow I doubt that, but okay. It would be a crime to miss a platoon meeting.” He got up and followed Tamama to the platoon’s not-so-secret base. He opened the door and saw his platoon mates. However, something was off. There was a tall creature in the room that looked like one of Kululu’s experiments gone wrong.
Hmm, we’ve got the idiot, the creepy inventor and the adorable kid. The gang’s all here…but who’s the tall guy? Better question, what is he? He was interrupted by the sound of his commander’s voice.
“I will now call this Armpit Platoon meeting to order! But before I do that, let’s go around and say our names, rankings, and what we like to do!” Keroro said. “I’ll start. I’m Keroro. I run this elite operation, and I like to build Gundam models in my spare time.”
“I’m Sgt. Major Kululu. I build the weapons and I like torturing small animals. Ku-kukuku!”
“I’m Private Tamama, and I like to eat sweets and watch cartoons!” Giroro stood up.
“I’m Corporal Giroro, and I enjoy making stuff dead.” The tall one stood up.
“It’s my turn? Okay. My name is Discord, and I am the Lord of Chaos! I like turning things upside down and inside out!” He emitted a maniacal laugh, accompanied by a couple of lightning strikes.
(Gah! What is that thing? Did the animators throw their concept sketches into a blender?)
Giroro was instantly impressed.
“Whoa! Keroro, where did we get this guy?”
“I’m glad you asked, Giroro! It’s a long, hilarious story that I’m still in the process of writing! It all started yesterday. Tamama was watching My Little Pony. I happened to walk by during the episode. I was about to dismiss Private T as a hopeless tadpole, when suddenly I looked and saw this guy on the screen. Within the episode, he had seized complete control of Equestria, which is basically their Pekopon. It was masterful!” Keroro had stars in his eyes.
“Yes it was, wasn’t it? Then those rotten little ponies ruined it all for me.” Discord said.
“Anyway, I borrowed Kululu’s Fourth Wall Wrecker and Tamama and I went to Equestria. We traded Dororo and a chocolate milkshake to this really happy pink pony, and well, here we are. Now we are stronger than ever! Kero kero kero kero kero!”
Meanwhile, in Equestria, Dororo was talking with Twilight Sparkle. Fluttershy was comforting him after his initial abandonment trauma.
“So, your friend gave you and a milkshake to our friend Pinkie Pie, and in return she gave them Discord?” Twilight asked.
“Yes, that’s pretty much how it happened. I can’t believe they would ditch me like that!” Dororo’s trauma switch turned back on. Fluttershy continued to comfort him.
“There, there. It’s okay. You shouldn’t dwell on it so much. I’m sure they’ll come right back and get you when they realize they made a mistake.”
(Fluttershy, I think you’re giving them too much credit.)
“They’d better come back! I can’t imagine who would be stupid enough to think that Discord would make a good teammate.” Twilight said, visibly upset.
“Well, then you’ve clearly never met Sgt. Keroro.” Dororo said. Twilight and Fluttershy gulped.
(See? That’s why I like Dororo. He’s the platoon member with common sense.)
“Princess Celestia’s going to kill us!” The purple unicorn exclaimed. “And I’m going to kill Pinkie Pie!”
(Ooh! This show just got interesting!)
Back on Earth, the Armpit Platoon, complete with its newest member, continued discussing this plan.
“This is the best trade ever!” Keroro said.
“You’ve said that about 15 times in the last 5 minutes! We get it!” Giroro said, always good for a snarky remark.
“We suckered those ponies good! Discord here is going to turn Pekopon on its head! Then we’ll be able to take over for sure!” Tamama gleefully shouted.
“Yes, it’s like we’re the LA Lakers and those ponies are the Orlando Magic! Ku-kuku ku!” Kululu performed his signature laugh.
Discord was having a good time in the Hinatas’ basement. He sat and listened to the high energy chatter of his new space frog friends.
“Keroro, to show my appreciation for being set free, I’m going to make it rain!” Keroro and Tamama knew exactly what he meant. The green leader quickly sprinted for the exit.
“Wait! I’ll bring down some glasses!” Discord stopped in his tracks. He used some magic to bring Keroro back into the room. This puzzled the frog.
“Allow me.” The beast snapped his fingers and vanished. The platoon was in awe of this ability. Giroro slapped his commander on the back.
“I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but you did it, Sarge! Discord is everything we could have wanted!” Keroro basked in the light of his newfound glory.
Meanwhile, Discord walked into the kitchen to get some glasses. He used his magic to bring the cups to him. It was a quick process. As soon as he had enough, he snapped his fingers again and instantaneously found himself back in the secret base. He passed out glasses to each frog, and then the spirit of chaos conjured up a chocolate rain cloud. What Discord had failed to realize is that Natsumi Hinata had caught a glimpse of him in the kitchen.
“What…did I just see? You’re gonna get it, Frogtard!”
Discord had his clouds set up as if they were a chocolate milk fountain. If there was a way to get drunk off of the stuff, Keroro and the others were well on the way to finding it. Suddenly, they heard a door slam. It was Natsumi. After catching her breath, she spoke.
“What are…who is…answers, toad! I want answers!” Natsumi was dumbfounded by the presence of the giant creature that looked like a science experiment gone, well, chaotic. Keroro started from the beginning.
“…and that’s how we swindled those ponies like Pony With a Pen getting swindled out of a Peyton Manning rookie card!” The platoon leader finished. This did nothing to soothe the expression of pure shock on the young girl’s face.
“First, who’s Pony With a Pen? Second, you expect me to believe that you traveled into a fictional television show, traded one of your own platoon members for this…thing, and that My Little Pony is actually good now? I’m a girl and even I think it’s typical girly trash!” Discord turned to face her.
“My dear, you seem a bit stressed out. Here, have a glass of chocolate milk. It’ll take the edge off.” Natsumi hesitantly accepted the glass. Sure, it looked like chocolate milk, the girl thought. Discord watched her reactions.
“Oh, don’t worry. It’s pasteurized and well-shaken. I’m not going to poison someone I’ve never even met.” Natsumi gulped and drank it down. However, she wound up drinking the glass itself, leaving the chocolate milk in cup-form.
“What the heck?” she blurted out.
“I’d get rid of that if I were you.” Discord warned her. The girl obeyed, and the milk exploded in mid-air. Naturally, this freaked her out.
“Are you trying to kill me?” Discord shook his head.
“I gave you fair warning.” Luckily, Giroro hadn’t been watching, or he would have severed the Discord/Keroro invasion plan relationship right then and there.
(For all you bronies reading this who should be watching this show too, Giroro has the hots for Natsumi and can’t stand when other male creatures try to seduce her or harm her. Thankfully Discord hasn’t done the former because that would be creepy.)
Keroro was watching, however, and he was mesmerized.
What the frog? Discord can weaponize chocolate milk? This is the best invasion plan I’ve ever come up with! When we take over the world, we’ll make bronies everywhere cry when we replace their favorite show with our show instead! The Sgt. Frog fanbase will be bigger than the bronies ever were!
(Seriously? That’s your big, secret plan? To replace My Little Pony with Sgt. Frog? Eh, if it makes my paycheck bigger, I’m all for it.)