//------------------------------// // Ch. 3: He Who Writes Must Also Play... Wait, What?! // Story: Assist me!! Princess Luna! // by Hallowedsoul //------------------------------// I COULD USE ASSISTANCE!! PRINCESS LUNA! The lights dim as the curtain rises, revealing a room regally decorated in dark blue with a large bed covered in fine silk sheets, and an elegant wooden desk set up across from it. It appears to belong to some kind of royalty. A spotlight shines down from above on an equine-like creature with a dark blue coat, a mane and tail that flow as if being blown by a calm breeze, both of which also appear to have been taken straight out of the night sky, along with a pair of large wings on her side and a long horn on her head. The hair on her flank is black with a white crescent moon and a single white star on it and she is wearing an onyx tiara and neckpiece along with silver slippers on her hooves. She looks straight ahead when the spotlight shines on her and smiles sweetly. “Greetings, wayward foals.” She begins soothingly “I am known as Princess Luna; Raiser of the Moon and Ruler of Equestria alongside my sister, Princess Celestia.” Luna glances around for a moment before returning her attention to the front. “Though we are not physically present in Equestria at this time; we are merely projecting our room in the Royal Canterlot Castle into the dreamscape.” As if seeing this was met with confusion, she began to pace slowly in the room in a manner one would if giving a lecture, her head turned slightly to the front. “To assist you in understanding, ‘tis a mysterious room; a room where you can do as you please.” She stops and faces forward. “In all honesty, ‘tis a sanctuary for the sad, wayward foals are unable to attain their true purpose in life; ‘tis an ‘Avalon’, so to speak.” She begins to pace back slowly toward the center with a grimace on her face. “If you are one of those fools who believes they do not require assistance, or who only wishes to discover hidden secrets, THEN BEGONE FROM THIS PLACE!” She stated, ending with a small exclamation in the Royal Canterlot Voice and jabbing a hoof offstage. She sighs and faces forward again. “Wayward foal of the night, I grant you entry.” And with that, she trots over to the left side of the room and sits upon a cushion, facing the other side. As she does, an odd pony trots in. He had a pale white coat and a silvery, flowing mane and tail with glowing, pale blue eyes. Where his wings would be were instead flowing ribbons of light that extended well past his body. "What in the...?" He asked, looking around curiously "This is... Luna, you dirty friggin' cheater!" "'Tis good to see you as well, Hallowedsoul." She replied with a nod of her head. "No. No! Absolutely not, I don't have time for this shit!" Hallowed replied irritably, turning around to trot out. There was the sound of a door rattling for a moment while Luna laid down on her cushion and levitated a magazine from nowhere and read it patiently. Once the door was done rattling there came the sounds of furious pounding, followed by silence. Hallowed trotted back in, an extremely irritated expression on his face, and sat on his haunches. Luna put the magazine away and sat up, giving him an amused look. "Did you get it out of your system, Hallowed?" She asked him, and he shot her a scathing glare. "Why did you bring me here, Luna?" He asked her coldly "Do you even realize how many rules you're breaking by doing this?" "Well, you are here because you are obviously in need of aid." Luna replied amiably, ignoring his attitude "As for rules... I am afraid I am not an expert on such things here, let us retrieve the one who is." Hallowed stared at her in disbelief. "You wouldn't..." "Please wait a moment." She replied, and then turned her head to call out behind her "Professor, could you come out for a moment, I need you to clarify something for us." At that, a familiar pink-haired, cat-eared humanoid walked onstage and stood next to Luna, also with an irritated expression on her face. "What do ya need, Luna? I'm in the middle of my own broadcast, so make it quick." She said curtly. "Oh, if you are busy, I can call you back later." Luna replied, but Kokonoe waved her hand dismissively. "Nah, I actually have a few minutes; I'm letting Ragna play with Jin for a little bit to get his bloodlust under control." She said casually and turned her attention to Hallowed, who was staring dumb-founded at the Professor "Who's your glowing friend over there?" "He's the medium I am using to convey my show into his world; it is a little slow-going, but we have only just started." Luna replied, but then gave Kokonoe a curious look "Regardless, the reason I have called you here is because he has asked me a question I was not prepared for." "Oh, yeah? And what's his question?" "You do realize I'm sitting right here and am listening to you speak, right?" Hallowed spoke up. The two promptly ignored him. "He asked me if I knew how many rules I was breaking to bring him here and I wasn't sure what the rules were exactly and was hoping you could clarify for us." "I've already told you that the normal rules don't really apply here, so my answer is there are no rules to actually follow except for the ones I told you about. Speakin' of which..." She said, holding a finger up to point accusingly at Luna "You've already broken the first rule when you yelled at Applejack in the last episode. Do I need to come up with a way of lessening your powers or can you regulate yourself?" "Hello, ladies?" Hallowed called out, waving his hoof "I'm still right here; I'd like some advice so I can go home now." "I apologize, Professor, and yes I am able to control myself better than that, I merely lost my temper." Luna replied irritably. "Well, I'm still going to implement a three strikes rule; you're already at strike two which means if you break my rules again, I'm putting a dampener on you." Kokonoe said, putting one hand on her hips while putting a Silvervine pop in her mouth. Luna stared at her indignantly. "Hey, yeah, I am totally not here or anything, so please continue to ignore me." Hallowed said, laying down on his stomach. "Will do, Bright-Light." Kokonoe responded earning an irritated glare from the glowing pony as Luna remembered how to speak. "Strike two?!" She exclaimed "I only broke one rule, how can I be at strike two?!" "Because you technically broke both rules simultaneously when you used the RCV." She said, and held up her hand with her index finger extended "Let me refresh your memory of the rules. Rule #1: No RCV in the Dreamscape. Rule #2: Only use RCV if you meet Hazama. So like I said, you've already broken both rules; break 'em again and I'm taking drastic measures." "That is complete and total bunk, Professor!" Luna protested, both individuals completely unaware of the low growling sound coming from the glowing pony behind them. "Hey, you knew what you were signing up for when we first started!" Kokonoe retorted angrily, getting in Luna's face. "There was nothing in the contract about this!" Was the heated response. "It was in the fine print!" "Was not!" "Was too!" "Was not!" "Was too!" "ENOUGH!" Hallowed roared, and both of the hosts turned shocked expressions toward him while he stood at the other end of the room, his body glowing brightly and his mane and tail flickering like an inferno "SIT DOWN, BOTH OF YOU!" Luna sat down on the cushion and Kokonoe glued her butt to the floor, both too stunned to argue anymore. "Good." He said, his body returning to it's normal state, though he was still aggravated "Now I really am not in the mood to be putting up with this childish shit from a pair of grown females who ought to know better. Kokonoe, give Luna a freebie this one time. Luna, avoid breaking the rules again now that you know what the punishment is going to be." Both hosts nodded slowly. "Now apologize to each other, like the good little girls you are." There was a mumbled "sorry" from both parties and they looked away sheepishly. Once that was done, Hallowed gave them both a smile. "Well done." He said approvingly "Now; give me my advice so I can get the hell outta here." "You're mind is all over the place, Hallowedsoul. Try focusing on one thing at a time or start getting your other works out into the world." Luna replied with a level gaze at Hallowed "From what I understand, one of them is nearly ready to be seen." "With all due respect, Princess, that's not for you to decide." He replied flatly, though he blushed slightly "I don't think it's ready yet, there are parts in it that are so dry and-" "What's the harm, Glowstick?" Kokonoe asked casually, earning an irritated glare from the glowing pony "If they don't like it, oh well you tried and that's what matters; besides, you can always go back and rework the damned thing so just put it out there for the whole friggin' world to see and be proud of what you accomplished." Hallowed was quiet as he thought about what Kokonoe had just told him. "Hmm, I'll... consider it, Professor." He replied, then cocked an eyebrow at the two hosts "If I leave, you two aren't going to kill each other, are you?" "Nah, we got that out of our system." Kokonoe said with a shrug. "Yes, we are on good terms once more." Luna also said, but with a small smile. "A pity; you two are becoming a royal pain in my other-worldly ass." He replied morosely and turned to leave "I'm outta here; do not bring me back, Luna, or I swear to Celestia you'll regret it." And with that, the glowing pony departed. Luna and Kokonoe stared at the place where he was, then turned aggressive glares toward each other as the lights dimmed and the curtains closed, signifying the end of the broadcast.. "Was not!" "Was too!"