Gummy Pie

by DigitalChaos


Chapter 4 - Crusadin'

Pinkie and Gummy were all geared up and ready to go. They were in black spy suits that covered their whole bodies, had night vision goggles on even though it was only around 5 PM, and they had belts with cucumbers strapped onto them in case of any Applejack run-ins. Gummy accidentally ate a few to compensate for not having had dinner.

"Alright, you ready?" Pinkie whispered although they were alone in the shop.

"One second, I gotta get this book," Gummy replied. He strapped a Craig the Donut book onto his belt along with the cucumbers. His plan was to throw the book at Applejack, so that she'd have to stop to read it. It was foolproof. "Alright, let's go."

They snuck through town, doing things often such as popping up behind objects they weren't even near, popping up out of food stands, and Gummy's personal favorite, coming out of other ponies' manes. They finally made it to the edge of Sweet Apple Acres. They popped into one tree and out another repeatedly, and surprisingly, they still went unnoticed. Finally, they made it to the Cutie Mark Crusaders' clubhouse.

Gummy did a flip through the open window and Pinkie rolled through the door while yelling "Nobody move!"

Gummy gave Pinkie a funny look. "We're only supposed to yell if Applejack comes, remember? She's not here," he whispered.

He was right. There was no one there but the false cousins and three terrified fillies,

"You suuuuuuure?" Pinkie leaned over and examined Apple Bloom really closely. "This one looks suspicious!"

"They're sisters." Gummy gave Pinkie Pie a deadpan look. Pinkie backed away from Apple Bloom.

"Hmmm... I guess you're right... I just really wanted to throw cucumbers at AJ. I guess Apple Bloom is close enough." She proceeded to throw one cucumber at Apple Bloom, then flip out of the window. As she left, she yelled back "Be home by eight!"

After a few seconds of awkward silence and Apple Bloom rubbing her head, Scootaloo spoke up. "...What just happened?"

"Nothing," Gummy replied quickly, setting his spy suit and book down in the corner. "So, what did you guys want to do today?"

"Before we can do anything, you need to become an official Cutie Mark Crusader," Scootaloo said.

Sweetie Belle got on a podium and the other two stood off to the side. Sweetie Belle started to read. "We, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, elect Lime Pie to join us as a sister, friend--"

"Wait! Lime can't be our sister! He's a colt!" pointed out Apple Bloom. "The whole list is kinda gender based. Scootaloo would have to rewrite it."

"Yeah, I guess he's a guy, and can't get the usual ceremony. Let's just have a vote. All in favor of making him a Crusader, raise your hoof!" Sweetie raised her hoof up really quickly and to the point where she was nearly jumping in the air. Scootaloo raised her hoof and so did Apple Bloom. "Alright, you're an official member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders now!"

"Yay!" they all yelled, then Scootaloo high-hoofed Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle high hoofed Gummy.

"What should we do first?" Gummy asked. They all sat down to think in a circle. They sat there quietly thinking for a few minutes. Suddenly, Gummy jumped up and threw a random cucumber from his mane at the wall. He scared everyone there.

"I know!" yelled Scootaloo as she jumped into the air. "We could get our cutie marks in pranking! Rainbow Dash loves pranking!"

"So does Pinkie!" exclaimed Gummy.

"Applejack likes a good laugh too," Apple Bloom agreed.

"Rarity hates pranks, but I support this notion anyway!" Sweetie Belle said.

"So, what are we waiting for?" Gummy gave a mischievous smile.
-----
The Cutie Mark Crusaders all giggled and all shushed one another, which in retrospect made no sense. They sat behind a bush, watching Big Macintosh take a nap. They had styled his hair in the way a Canterlot mare might, and put him in one of Rarity's dresses. They also put a fake horn and wings on him. Lastly, they gave him makeup for good measure.

Gummy threw a cucumber at him to get him to wake up. He mourned its loss, but it would be worth it.

"Huh? Wha?" Big Mac slowly got up, and stretched his legs. As he was stretching his front legs, he noticed the costume. He looked in the mirror they had set there for him. He sat uncomprehending for a second, then squealed in delight.

"Oh my Celestia! My dream came true! Ah'm a princess! Now Ah can have that tea party with Smarty Pants we been plannin' so long! Eeyup!" Big Mac squealed in delight a second time, then skipped toward the barn.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders sat there in silence for a full minute, all four of them staring off where Big Mac had run to.

"Let's pretend we never saw that," Gummy suggested.

"Agreed," the other three concurred. All four of them then looked at their flanks, and unsurprisingly, saw them blank.

"It's around 7 or so, and I gotta get home by 8," Gummy told them. "We should probably get heading back the the clubhouse."

"Okay!" the others said at once. They all headed back to the clubhouse.

Today had been a fun day for Gummy. He had gotten to meet new friends, go to school for the first time, and go crusading for his cutie mark. He also hadn't seen Applejack even once.

He was scared of being found by her; he wouldn't be able to explain to her why he was here or who he was like he could with Fluttershy. Fluttershy wasn't a particularly outspoken pony, and wouldn't bother doing anything. They couldn't be sure how a pony like Applejack or Rainbow Dash might react.

"Wait, Lime! Before you leave, there's something we need to give you!" Sweetie Belle held out a cape to him. "The official Cutie Mark Crusaders cape! Except since you're a boy, you get an all black one!"

"...That's from all of us? I don't remember asking Sweetie to make him a cape," Scootaloo whispered to Apple Bloom.

"Neither do Ah. Ah think she did it with her own time," Apple Bloom replied.

He put on the all black cape. With that and his glasses, he looked pretty awesome right in that moment. Suddenly, they heard a yell from outside.

"Apple Bloom, what're y'all still doin' in there? I told you to get home by 7:30, and Rainbow Dash told Scootaloo the same! I bet Rarity's worried sick too!" Applejack yelled.

"Oooh buck," Gummy swore under his breath. He heard heavy hooffalls coming from the direction of the door. The door was just opening to reveal an angry Applejack when Gummy came up with a plan. He did the logical thing, and jumped out of the window. He could get his spy gear tomorrow, and besides, Pinkie had more.

"What in tarnation?" Applejack looked over as he jumped out the window. "Who was that?"

"Oh, he's our newest Cutie Mark Crusader, Lime Pie! He's Pinkie's cousin!" Sweetie Belle informed Applejack.

"Is that so? Did you guys notice anythin'... funny 'bout him?" Applejack asked suspiciously.

"Nope!" All three Crusaders said.

"Right... Ah guess Ah'll be leavin' then. But Ah still have one question. What's all this spy gear for? And the book and the... cucumbers?" Applejack nudged Gummy's things with her hoof.

"That's Lime's. He's related to Pinkie, ya know. He can't be all normal," Apple Bloom said without a hint of humor in her voice.

"Ah guess. Well, party's over for now. Time for everyone to go home," Applejack announced. Her suspicions weren't gone. She just didn't want to ruin having a new Crusader and friend for the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

Everyone headed home, tired even after just a short duration of Crusading. Gummy, apparently, tired everyone out.
-----
"Where is it?! Where is it?!" Twilight yelled, throwing books left and right.

"Um, Twilight? You've been trying to come up with a spell for Gummy from the moment Pinkie left without stopping. Maybe you should take a break? You're starting to look like that time you didn't get a letter in to Celestia on time." Spike looked genuinely frightened.

"I am not! I'm absolutely fine! Aha! Here it is!" Twilight gave the most terrifying grin possible and held a book in front of her. "My precious..." She clutched the book to her chest and rocked back and forth.

"...That says it's a cookbook, Twilight."

"Yes! And it's also red. Anyway, if we bake him into a pie, nopony will know he existed!"

"Except for that he said nearly every living thing in town saw him, he's gone to school, Pinkie will miss him, Fluttershy knows, the other animals know him, cannibalism is illegal..." Spike listed.

"Oh. Right. I'm going to go to bed." Twilight blushed, having come to her senses and realized she was sleep deprived.

"So am I."

"...Yeah, so I won't be needing this cookbook, since I'm not cooking anypony or considering it ever again," Twilight levitated her book back to the shelf.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."
------
Gummy ran home as fast as he could, hoping not to run into Applejack or any of Pinkie's friends. He ran out of Sweet Apple Acres, and through the streets of Ponyville. It was a good thing that Pinkie had taken him out often as an alligator, or else he would be lost. In that case, he'd probably just roll on the ground in the middle of town until he was noticed.

"Almost... there!" he puffed out. He was running faster than he'd ever seen anything ever go, which meant next to nothing since he didn't really pay attention to that kind of thing.

He finally made it into the bakery. He slammed and locked the door behind him. Gummy was sitting down to take a break when he heard Pinkie's voice.

"Lime? Is that you?" she asked.

"No, it's Tom the Rock," he replied sarcastically.

"Right, I'll get the bunny suit and the cheese!" Pinkie yelled back.

You know, I don't know, and I really don't want to, Gummy thought to himself. "No, it's me, Lime!" he yelled back, unsure if there was anyone else here.

"Oh, okay!" Pinkie replied.

Gummy trotted up the stairs toward Pinkie's room. As he entered, he remembered that he had left all the spy gear Pinkie lent him at the clubhouse. He was also now wearing a new cape in addition to his glasses.

"Whoa! Where'd you get the cape from? And what happened to the spy-y stuff?" Pinkie asked, observing him closely.

"I got the cape from the other Cutie Mark Crusaders, and I had to leave the stuff there," he replied vaguely, wanting her to ask him more.

"Huh?" Pinkie seemed really confused, which made sense.

He told her the story of his whole day, from start to finish. He didn't bother omitting the parts she was there for, just in case she needed a recap.

"...And that's how Equestria was made?" Pinkie asked. Gummy replied with a curt nod. "Okie dokie lokie! Sounds like it was fun! Especially the part where you escaped through the window!

"But I noticed something, Gummy. You're technically new to Ponyville, since it's the first time you have lived here as a normal resident. You know what that means?" Pinkie said quietly.

"Pinkie, I've lived here for a little over a year and have come to all of your parties! Of course I know--"

"IT MEANS YOU GET A PARTY!" she yelled, not wanting to ruin the moment. "I can probably do it this weekend or something!"

"Alright!" Gummy jumped up. Having been around Pinkie his whole life, there was no way he couldn't get excited about a party.

"I'll probably just invite the other Cutie Mark Crusaders, Fluttershy, Twilight, Rarity, and Dashie," Pinkie listed off. "Applejack is being scary right now."

"Wait, but you have to invite her. Somepony will notice you didn't. Plus, you should just invite her to be nice. Even if she thinks I'm some sort of mysterious colt spy who wants take over Ponyville with cucumbers," Gummy pointed out.

"You're right! What was I thinking, thinking about not inviting Applejack?"

"...I think you were thinking about not inviting Applejack when you were thinking about not inviting Applejack?" Gummy suggested.

"Wow, Gummy, and I thought I had a crazy imagination! That's the silliest thing I've ever heard!" Pinkie exclaimed. "But right now, it's time to go to bed, Mr.Green-Colt-With-Blue-Awesome-Glasses!"

The two headed upstairs. Gummy took off his glasses and cape and set them next to his small bed. He took out another installment in the Craig the Donut series.

"You want me to read it to you?" Pinkie offered, unsure of his reading skills.

"No, I need the practice. Right, let's read this!" He started reading.
-----
"Mr.GumNum-NumNums! There's a portal in my toilet again!" Wiggles McGiggles yelled. He knew Mr.Gumnum-Numnums wasn't actually real, but he thought he might be lonely and need talking to anyway.

"A distress call! Craig the Donut.... AWAY!" Craig rolled over to the scene of the crime of the portal toilet. He got there after about 10 minutes of nonstop rolling. A new record for him. "You! Peasant! What's the trouble?"

"There's a portal in my toilet again!" Wiggles replied.

"This is a job for none less awesome than me!" Craig said. Wiggles helped shove him into the toilet.

Apparently, this was an interdimensional portal. He was sent to a world where he saw lots of monkeys jumping around in circles and giggling. Then, suddenly, a giant smiley face appeared.

"Bow down to the Singing Smiley Face!" it sang. Suddenly, Craig knew what he had to do. He ran up, and started to sing his favorite song.

"I'm a happy little donut
I like to jump around
I'm a part-time superhero
That really sucks at his job!" He sang. He sang the rest of the song, with the monkey crowd joining in when necessary.

"Yaaaay!" the Singing Smiley Face said. Then it exploded.

"Yes! This is the fragment I need to get to the next dimension!" Craig cheered, holding up a fragment of the Singing Smileyface. He disappeared with a pop, and went to the next dimension.
-----
"Craig the Donut books are awesome," Gummy set his book down and yawned. Finally, he went to sleep.

"Waaaaaaake up, Gummy!" Came Pinkie's voice what felt like only minutes later.

Gummy opened his eyes, only to see a pair of giant blue eyes right in front of his face.

"Gah!" He yelled. Pinkie fell on the floor laughing. "It's not funny," Gummy complained. But after a few seconds, he was on the floor laughing, too.

After they pulled themselves together, Gummy went into the bathroom to comb his hair. He came out, put his glasses on, and went downstairs.

"Hi Pinkie!" He tried to hop while walking down the stairs. Considering he wasn't even entirely used to walking down the stairs, that was one of the stupidest things he could've done. He fell down the stairs, landing at the bottom with a thud.

"Gummy, are you okay?" Pinkie ran over to him. He jumped up and nearly hit his head on the ceiling, due to his lack of regard for physics.

"Yup, I'm fine! Awesome as an... awesome thing!" Gummy happily walked over to the kitchen. He got himself some cereal, ate, and got ready to go.

"Bye, have a nice day at school!" Pinkie yelled to him as he trotted away from Sugarcube Corner.

"Yup! Bye!" He yelled without looking back.
-----
The school day went on normally for Gummy. He had some trouble reading, but not enough that it could be he never officially learned due to being another species. He got in trouble for talking to Sweetie Belle once too, but got off easy for being new.

After six and a half long hours of work, recess finally came. He was looking forward to playing with the other Crusaders.

As he hurried out of the schoolhouse and into the playground, he was stopped by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

"Hi guys! What did you want?" he asked them hurriedly, trying to locate the other Crusaders on the playground. He was worried they might be waiting for him.

"You know the Cutie Mark Crusaders? The loser blank flanks you hang out with?" Diamond Tiara asked. He really didn't care about what they had to say, but did care about tag and hide-and-seek. He thought about running past them, but realized they were circling him.

"They're not losers, but I get what you mean, yeah," he replied.

"Silver Spoon and I were thinking, and we thought it would cooler for you to be part of our group!" Diamond Tiara cheered. Gummy was taken aback; he had expected teasing, not their twisted version of an offer of friendship.

"It doesn't matter that you don't have your cutie mark, because what you did yesterday shows that you're cool enough to be friends with us," Silver Spoon chimed in.

"The Cutie Mark Crusaders are losers. I mean, a wannabe Rainbow Dash, a dictionary, and a poor farm pony?" Diamond Tiara laughed.

"Yeah, what she said," Silver Spoon said, really adding to the conversation.

Gummy had had enough of them making fun of his friends.

"No. You guys are just jerks. The way you try to get me to be your friends is by insulting my best friends and telling me to ditch them? I'll have you know that I'm an official Cutie Mark Crusader too! You don't say anything about my friends, or anypony else for that matter! You got it?" Somewhere in the middle of this, Gummy felt an odd feeling on the top of his head, as though all his hair went flat. Then he recalled what happened to Pinkie on her birthday one time. She got so angry her hair lost its life, along with her.

"I'm sorry. But the answer is no," Gummy repeated simply, much calmer this time. The two fillies slowly backed away from him, remembering how he had pulled a flour bag on them last time.

Gummy slowly walked over to where the other Crusaders were, his hair still flattened.

"What took you so long?" Scootaloo questioned him. "And what happened to you?"

"Nothing," he replied slowly, bitterness in his voice.

"So... wanna play freeze tag?" Sweetie Belle suggested.

"Yup!" Gummy jumped up in the air, his hair spiking up again when he heard his favorite game mentioned.
-----
From then on, the week went normally, with no Applejack Attacks, outbursts from Gummy, or words from Diamond and Silver. They mostly ignored him, with the occasional weird look and whispering. He went crusading with his new friends every day.

That was, the week went normally until the party.