//------------------------------// // Everypony but You // Story: Dusk Shine, Total Ladies' Colt // by Barrobroadcaster //------------------------------// And thus, the montage began. Elusive would pick out random pieces of clothing and assorted accessories, Dusk would try them on and Blitz would make the final decision. Outfits and articles were put into two piles: 'maybe' and 'should not see light of day'. Before long, the three ponies were exhausted trying to find something to suit the purple stallion. Dusk walked out of the dressing room again. Blitz wasn't sure which time this was, he had lost count and was beginning to lose interest. But after dragging his best friend's sorry flank out of his own house, down the street and across town, he felt he now had an obligation to get this colt some tail. And it went without saying, himself too. "An orange jumpsuit? What, are you a convict now?" Dusk looked down. "It's a track suit," he argued. What was wrong with it? Orange perfectly complemented purple and it felt... relatively comfortable. "And this is not the track. Take it off," Blitz ordered. "Awwghff," Dusk uttered an exasperated moan, removing the orange suit. "Well, what are you going to wear?" Rainbow grinned. "Lusi, show him." Elusive brought out a lavish and familiar looking tuxedo. "I have to admit, I am pleased with this one," he said, levitating it up by the shoulders to see. Dusk recognized it immediately. "The tux you wore to my sister's wedding? Seriously?" "Why not? Got me a couple brides' maids at Glimmering Shield's wedding," Blitz remarked honestly. The purple colt's jaw hit the floor. "You had sex at my sister's wedding?!!" The rainbow pony shrugged. "Your sis has some fine-looking friends. Dat royal guard flank, bro. Got me standing at attention," he gave a mock salute. Dusk didn't know if he was enraged or just plain shocked. "Those are Lord Solaris's Royal Guards! And you slept with them! Are you insane?!" "I like a mare in uniform. Besides, it happened a long time ago." "Rainbow's right, dear boy," Elusive agreed. "It's been quite a while since the ceremony. And besides that, why else would we come to that wedding?" "Uh, maybe because Lord Solaris invited ALL of us?" Dusk pointed out. "Ohh, but of course!" Elusive awkwardly replied. "But what I mean is, who's to say we can't all enjoy ourselves and do a little... indulging on such a special occasion?" Dusk felt like smashing his face on the floor. "And who were you with on my sister's wedding? One of the bride's maids or-" Elusive interrupted. "A gentlecolt does not divulge such matters." "It was the mane stylist," Rainbow Blitz casually revealed. Elusive's eyes went wide. "How on Equestria did you-" "What? I saw you chatting her up. Doesn't take a genius to figure out you two were talking about more than just mane styles." Elusive bashfully lowered his head a tad. "I can't believe this," Dusk Shine said. "Am I the ONLY pony that didn't get laid at my sister's wedding?!" his ear twitched. "I'm pretty sure Lord Solaris is single," Rainbow Blitz thought out loud. "But that was one crazy wedding." "So, now I know the REAL reason you guys didn't believe me when I first said my sister's fiancé was evil. You all were too busy thinking with your-" "Calm down, Dusk this story's still rated Everyone," Blitz commented as Dusk was speaking. "-testosterone" "Oooh, nice save." "-to listen to me! And because of that, my sister nearly married King Cocoon instead of Prince Amir Amore and Gallopolis was almost conquered by changlings!" The purple pony snorted angrily as he stood. Rainbow flew over to Dusk to try to calm his friend down. "Dusk, it was a wedding. You were the only pony that seemed to be overlooking that. That's another reason why I-" he tried to put a hoof around Dusk's shoulders but the purple colt dodged. "Don't touch me, not until you've been... tested," Dusk's ears twitched again. Paranoid pony mode activated. Pressure rising! Rainbow backed away, insulted. "Hey, wha'ts that supposed to mean?" "Gentlecolts," Elusive intervened before an unnecessary fight broke out, "Let's take it down a notch, shall we? Perhaps we're going about this all wrong." "I think there's a lot wrong with this whole situation," Dusk remarked. "What I'm saying is, perhaps you should consider... something less restricting for the evening's activities." "I think I'd rather just go out without clothes." Elusive nodded. "I was going to recommend just that." Rainbow Blitz shook his head. "You are hopless sometimes Dusk." Dusk took offense to that. "Hopeless? What the buck do you mean by that?" "Language, Dusk Shine!" Elusive cautioned. Blitz scoffed. "I mean you're hopeless Dusk Shine. Here I am trying to do a good deed for a friend and how am I being repaid? You're fighting me every step of the way!" "Why shouldn't I be fighting you? You're talking about going out and picking up a girl for a one-night stand! That's like, the most superficial thing I can think of! And normally, I wouldn't even be thinking it if it wasn't for you!" "Hey, at least I have a life outside my bucking house!" Elusive tried once again to break it up. "Gentlecolts, please this isn't helping any-" "A life outside? How's that working out for you Mr. Wonderbeam? Cuz it sounds like you haven't gotten any since MY SISTER'S WEDDING!!" Dusk shouted. Blitz's eyes narrowed. "Watch yourself, buddy or you'll be writing another letter to Lord Solaris." "Oh yeah," Dusk said sarcastically. "I know just how it'll go. 'Dear Lord Solaris, today I learned that my friend Rainbow Blitz slept with some of your Royal Guards and you might want to get them checked out. Signed, your fervent apprentice Dusk Shine'." "Okay, that's it. I'm done," Rainbow Blitz said. "Thanks for trying Elusive. Sorry if Dusk Shine's acting like a plothole." The Rainbow Pegasus took his leave, exiting the room. "Blitz, now I-" Dusk Shine wasn't done. "So what, you're leaving now? After all that?" he demanded, running out of the closet after him. "Why not? You clearly just want to sit on your flank all day and read. I don't need you to have a good time." "Well, I don't need you either! Barbs made a better Rainbow Blitz anyway!" "Oh yeah?" Blitz yelled back as he departed. "Well, I bet Kate would've made a better Dusk Shine!" "Oh... please don't bring up Kate." Elusive had done his best to forget about 'Kate', the enormous boulder he was convinced was a chunk of diamond while under the influence of Disarray. "I'll show you! I don't need your help to have a good time!" Dusk yelled at Rainbow, now carrying the argument into the foyer. Rainbow Blitz opened the door. "Have fun at home ladies' colt!" he said, rushing out and leaving the door hanging open. "Hrrrrrgggggh!" Dusk shine growled. He slammed the door behind him and walked back inside. "Dusk Shine..." Elusive said, trying to be comforting. "I'm sorry, Elusive. Someponies just only want one thing, I guess." "It sounded to me like he just wanted to help you," the white stallion commented. "Yeah, well he sure had a weird way of trying to help." Elusive put a hoof on Dusk Shine's back. "Well, you do sort of have trouble getting out of your comfort zone my friend." Dusk looked to the ground and thought for a moment. They were right, they were both right. Dusk only ever went out when the five of his closest friends were involved. Apart from that, he occasionally went to the library, Sugar Cube Square but that was about it. In fact... he barely knew anypony else in Ponyburg. Well, tonight was a night to change that. "You're right Elusive. I think I could use some activity this evening." "Well, if you're going to stop by the library would you mind returning something for me?" "No..." Dusk had that one coming. "I mean, can I borrow that dark blue suit with the yellow trim?" Elusive looked confused. "You're going to get dressed up to go to the library?" Dusk facehooved. "I'm not going to the library!" "I wasn't aware it closed early." The purple pony grabbed the white colt by the face. "I'm going out to get... social interaction. With mares. At a bar... or nightclub or something. This evening. Understand?" "You're actually going through with it?" Elusive asked. "Well, I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors my friend. Now if you happen to stop by the library-" Dusk growled again. "I'll just put it in the coat pocket," Elusive said, walking back to the dressing room.