Written by: Shahrazad
Edited by: Conantheimp
Sweet N’ Spicy Redux: epilogue
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“Are you sure this is where we’re supposed to meet her? It’s awfully noisy.” Fancypants adjusted his monocle and looked up at the neon lights of the club. It was a new nightclub in Canterlot called “Moonshine.” Judging from the pounding bass and the youthful clientele it was the sort of place designed to have wordless fun rather than serious business. “How are we even going to talk to one another with all of this music?” He could hear it even muffled by several walls.
“We’re going to meet her in the VIP lounge where it will be a little quieter. I need to be seen by the target audience of the next fashion line. Don’t you want to spend some time dancing with me afterwards?” Fleur gave him a pout that covered her smile.
They were slowly walking past the queue of youth that stood in the cold outside of the club. A mountain of a stallion guarded the door with threatening eyes. A few papers sat on a thin podium beside him. Every few minutes he would check the papers and allow in a few eager youths. Sometimes they would get turned away and after heated words they would leave with sour expressions. Fleur and Fancy strode to the front of the line with confidence. Fleur turned every male eye towards her and Fancy wasn’t going wait in a queue for something so low class.
They stood on the other side of a velvet rope from the bouncer. A trio of young stallions standing in the cold waiting to enter looked at Fancypants with daggers in their eyes. Fleur addressed the bouncer after a dismissive glance. “Were on the VIP guest list. I’m meeting an important contact and I don’t want to be late.” The velvet rope seemed to magically vanish for her as she walked forward. Fancy tried to follow only to be stopped by a mountain of muscle in his way.
“Pardon me good sir.” Fancy tried to step around but found his path blocked. He narrowed his eyes at the face of the bouncer, a broad face hidden mostly in shadow with intense eyes. He wasn’t accustomed to such treatment and anger was slowly rising in his gut. He kept it in check but everything about this place made him feel like a fish out of water.
“You’re not on the list. It’s 200 bits to get into the VIP lounge.” Despite the size of the stallion in front of him his voice came out smooth and low. He was almost whispering. Fancy’s eyes went wide for a split second. 200 bits? That was outrageous. Fancy considered 200 bits pocket change but it was the principle of the matter. He was about to say as much when a hoof appeared on the bouncer’s shoulder.
“Oh I think he is on the guest list. He’s with me after all.” Fleur’s voice was low like the bouncers, Fancy had to strain to hear it.
“Are you sure? I don’t know about that suit, it looks kinda cheap.”
Fancy was in shock. He had never had anypony call his suit cheap. Probably because it wasn’t. It was 15,000 bits for the suit. That was more than some ponies made in a year. Fleur returned fire as if this comment was expected, “Oh that’s a shame.” She took a few steps out from behind the bouncer and into full view of the other hopeful patrons. She put on a particularly flashy pose that she only used when in front of a camera. Fancy wondered why she would act this way. She flipped her mane and released a languid sigh, “I suppose I’ll just have to leave then.”
Fancy felt like the world was being turned upside down. He was about to let the bouncer have a piece of his mind when suddenly the mood changed like somepony flipped a switch. The velvet rope and the bouncer moved aside giving him a clear path into the club. He didn’t get a chance to protest as Fleur pushed him forward none too gently. As he passed the podium he glanced at the papers sitting on it and saw the top page was the menu for a cheap take out restaurant several blocks away.
“What was that all about?” Fancy blurted out as they trotted down a rapidly darkening hallway. The sound of the music grew loud and he could feel as much as hear the bass.
“Oh my dear Fancypants, its just a little game that ponies play at the entrance to places just like this.”
“It doesn’t seem like a very nice game, I don’t know the rules.”
Fleur giggled, “If you want to win just bring a pretty mare with you and let her do the talking.”
“I’m not one to let mares fight for me. If the game is about wits as I suspect it is, then I’m sure I could win if I just knew the rules.”
Fleur began to laugh, a musical sound that died when it hit the thick walls. “Oh Fancy, a pretty mare has a much better chance of winning that game.”
“You must be very good at this game then, you are very pretty after all.” He smiled hoping that his comment would put a smile on her face. He always like to see her smile.
She did hold a self satisfied smile, “It’s a game I’ve never lost.” They trotted around another corner and the music hit Fancy like a wall. It blasted into his ears and set his organs vibrating. The music was repetitive and while he would never admit it he found he liked the beat. It made him want to dance. But the volume of sound was just too much. He grit his teeth and stumbled into a large room that could barely contain the ponies inside of it.
It was dark except for flashing lights on the far side of the room. In the strobe he could make out the shadows of dozens, maybe hundreds of ponies. There were all on the dance floor cheering and moving in a way that suggested much but in the dark revealed little. He was about to push his way onto the rim of the dance floor when Fleur pulled him in another direction. He found himself trotting up a set of black stairs. They were so dark and well hidden he didn’t even see them until he tripped onto the first step. When they reached the top they rounded a corner and ducked into another room overlooking the dance floor.
The ringing in his ears didn’t allow Fancy to hear much for the moment. Another massive stallion moved past him without a sound on the shag carpet and closed the door with a click. Wait, did we just play another of those little games? I didn’t even see... Fancy wasn’t given the chance to ponder his situation as Fleur almost dragged him to a seat across from her contact.
They sat on a comfortable loveseat with a short glass table between them and another identical couch. The glass table was lit from below with a diffuse red light casting every face around the table in an eerie ruby hue from below. Fancy recognized Photofinish and her assistant seated across from him instantly. The other ponies seated a short distance away in another booth he didn’t recognize or couldn’t see from the front.. To his left was a large glass pane that served as a wall. Fancy felt like he was in a fishbowl. It granted him a fantastic view of the dance floor below and was perfectly designed to muffle the music but not block it entirely. He could still make out the beats and the voice of the DJ but everything else was indistinct.
“Right on time. Zis is good. You wish for a drink ya?” Fancy and Fleur nodded, something sweet and heady was placed in front of him. He sipped it gingerly and listened.
“Thank you for meeting me here. I know how important it is to be seen by those beautiful young mares down there.” Fleur leaned over and waved to the crowd below. Several of the youths below responded with a wild cheer that sounded more like the crashing of distant waves on an unseen beach instead of dozens of voices. She blew them a kiss like she was Miss Equestria.
The assistant looked coolly at her clipboard and continued to scrawl notes. Photofinish pushed a portfolio across the table. “Take a look at ze new line. Tell me which von you like and ve can get started next week.” Fleur used her magic to lift the binder and flip through the first few pages. Fancy could see the smile begin to grow on her face. It was the wide happy smile he liked to see. That’s when the delivery arrived.
A mare with a bland sort of beauty and a crisp apron had set down a mug with a frothy beverage sloshing inside. The assistant’s quill stopped scratching away and Fleur set the portfolio down. Fancy gathered that something was off since the three mares looked at the mug and then at the server with question marks on their faces. “This is a gift from the DJ. I believe there is a note attached.” The mare said crisply, as if she regularly delivered free drinks. Maybe she does deliver free drinks all the time in a place like this Fancy thought to himself.
Photofinish smiled, “Ah another fan ya? Vut does it say?” Fleur slid the mug closer and the smile vanished from her face. Fancy could see the mug had the words “Two Bits Pub” etched into the glass. It didn’t mean anything to him but it seemed like it meant something to Fleur. There was a note stuck to the bottom of the glass. Fleur peeled it off and unfolded it. Fancy was reminded of fillies passing notes in a classroom.
Fleur began to read aloud, “Please enjoy this mug of Golden Barley’s finest cider while I dedicate this song to you.” Fancy could see there was more to the note but the DJ’s voice cut through the glass at just the right time. Fancy looked out across the dance floor. From his vantage point he could see the DJ was a white unicorn with electric blue hair. She wore a pair of rose tinted shades.
“This one is dedicated to a special mare friend of mine.” The DJ’s voice pierced the glass to make itself heard inside of the VIP booth. Fleur looked at the DJ and from her expression Fancy knew the night was about to take an unhappy turn. Sweat began to form on Fleur’s temple as the song started.
Fancy tapped Fleur on the withers. “What’s wrong darling? Is there something I can do to help?”
Thats when he caught a few words of the song.
“I kissed a mare and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a mare just to try it...”
Fancy’s brow furrowed as he listened to more and more of the song. “Fleur, what is the meaning of this?”
Fleur stood suddenly with the portfolio held in her magic. “We need to leave now Fancy.” She started towards the door and spoke to Photofinish as she trotted away, “I’ll look at the rest of the portfolio and get back to you.”
Fancypants stood to follow her but the note on the table drew his eye. He read the whole note before her slipped it into his jacket pocket. The words played over and over in Fancy’s head. Please enjoy this mug of Golden Barley’s finest cider while I dedicate this song to you. Just remember, two can play at this game. And if I’m going down, I’m taking you with me!
Fancypants followed Fleur as she quickly exited the club, the pounding bass seemed to chase them out. Fleur, just what games are you playing at?
Once the two white unicorns made their exit Soarin couldn’t help but chuckle. Moonlight and Shining Star, the club’s owners, sat across from him. “Are you sure I can’t get you to make an appearance on the dance floor? I’m sure there are some nice young mares who would be thrilled to meet you.” Moonlight swirled his martini glass and took a sip.
“No thank you, I got everything I wanted tonight.” That should keep her busy and off our backs Soarin thought with a wolfish smile. It was Rainbow Dash’s idea to contact the funky mare with the tinted glasses. She wasn’t too difficult to find. “DJ-Pon3” turned out to be very cunning and more than willing to take revenge on Fleur. Something about being manipulated had angered her. Soarin didn’t know the details but wasn’t surprised to find Fleur manipulating others in the least. Tartarus hath no fury like a mare scorned, he thought to himself.
It was mostly DJ-Pon3’s plan. All Soarin had to do was get her a job as a DJ in this club on this night. The extra business the DJ got didn’t hurt any either, and Soarin didn’t object to giving her some help. She deserved a break after running into the likes of Fluer De Lis. It turned out to be very easy for him to get her the job since the club’s owners were huge Wonderbolts fans. One little promise from Soarin in exchange for giving DJ-Pon3 the job. They agreed without even listening to her music. It’s a shame Dash isn’t here, Soarin thought. I would have liked to hang out with her here and she would have enjoyed seeing this. Sadly a Wonderbolt cadet didn’t interest the club’s owners. Soarin wasn’t entirely sure what DJ-Pon3 was going to do, but after seeing the plan he had to give her credit, it was gutsy.
“Would you like a drink?” Shining Star clapped her hooves together and summoned the serving mare.
Soarin shook his head. “No thank you, I’ve got to, uh, clean up, later tonight.” His smile made Moonlight and Shining Star raise a single eyebrow each. They had never seen anypony refuse a free drink. Soarin stood to leave.
“Ah-hem.” Moonlight coughed and Shining Star looked like a filly who had just dropped her ice cream. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
“Oh, of course.” Soarin whipped out his quill and signed the pair of oversized photographs each pony presented to him. “No offense, but I have somewhere I need to be.”
The two tried pleading, begging, and bribery but Soarin didn’t spend much more time with them. He felt a bit bad, they had been so cooperative. Plus he believed them when they promised to keep quiet about the whole thing.
When he finally stepped out of the club he already had his hat and coat on. The moon was only a sliver tonight and most of the stars were covered by clouds. The darkness hid him from everypony. Well, almost everypony.
“Going my way?” The voice called out to him from the open window of the cab. The stallion pulling it seemed more than ready to earn his bits. Soarin climbed inside and settled into the empty seat in the back. He didn’t need to say anything to the cabbie, they just took off as soon as he got inside. “So how’d it go?”
Soarin smiled like a cat who had eaten a canary. “Have I got a story to tell you...” He leaned in closer to tell his little story. He could smell something spicy inside the carriage. It made him smile. I really am the luckiest stallion in the world, he thought as he began his story.