In the patient treatment area of Twilights lesser castle, catastrophe had officially hit, and it had hit hard. Not only had the petty bickering of the Royal Pony Sisters turned into a lunar eclipse, but that very eclipse had deprived them of their magical income, ensuring the act could not be undone. They couldn’t even remember doing it, or even the last three thousand years, so they could not be faulted for it. As far as they were concerned, they really were just innocent children.
And now Twilight had to deal with them. “Ugh, Celestia, stop chewing on your tail, its gross.” Twilight had never known that Celestia had been such a spastic child, or that she apparently liked to put things in her mouth, but she now seemed to be determined to lick everything in the castle- twice. Twilights Tiara was the first victim, and now it sat next to her covered in spit. “I said spit it out!” she chided, and the filly finally released her own posterior, only to stick her tongue out at Twilight. Twilight and her friends had decided to brainstorm on what to do about the lunar eclipse that had caused this mess, and Pinkie Pie, with her experience as a foalsitter for the cakes, even offered to look after the two. However, a number of factors conspired to make Twilight the focus of their inseparable affections, not the least of which being that she was an alicorn princess.
Once it became clear that despite Luna at least being somewhat obedient in comparison to her sister, neither had any intention of being quiet to let them think, they were asked to leave Dr. Stable's office, the room handed over willingly to the effort at Twilights request. But that meant Twilight had to go with them. Now she sat in her throne room, trying to come up with her own solution, alone with the two because she didn’t want the guards inside with them. While she said it was because she didn’t want panic to spread amongst the guards, their rigid training and loyalty made that a moot point; she just didn’t want Celestia to put one of their spears in her mouth.
“Tia, stop it! You’re gonna make Auntie Twilight mad, and I don’t want to get in trouble.” Luna whined from the corner. Luna had taken to calling her Auntie because she was firmly convinced that Twilight being an alicorn meant they were related somehow. “What if we get grounded?! We might not get desert at dinner!”
“Don’t care!” said Celestia in a sing song voice, swinging from one of the large curtains “She’s not my mom, so she can’t tell me what to do!” She finished by sticking her tongue out again, this time aimed at Luna.
“Yes, she can! Yes she can tell you what to do, cuz she’s a princess, and that means she’s in charge of everypony!” Luna was on her hooves now, obviously upset at the idea of being grounded “So that means you gotta listen to her! What if we get sent to the dungeon?” she gasped “What if she grounds us in the dungeon we get sent to!! We could be there forever!”
Celestia flew over to her sister, hovering a foot over the ground, that curious buzzing following her across. “I aint scared of no dungeon!” she proclaimed, proudly puffing out her chest “I can take any crusty old prisoner! You watch, I’m so tough, I’ll have them bowing to me and calling me princess!” she grinned wide, and gave Twilight a mischievous look “Then I’ll lead a riot and take all the dinner I want!”
Luna was aghast “You shouldn’t say that! Auntie Twilight and her friends are really nice, and they’ve been taking care of us!” she thought a moment “Even if miss Pinkie is weird and miss Rainbow scares me.” She suddenly ran over to Twilight. “Please, Please don’t send my sister and me to the dungeons for being rude. She didn’t mean it!”
“Oh yes I did!” Celestia butted in “I meant every word! I ain’t scared of nopony!” Twilight had to resist the urge to correct her grammar again. That was another thing Twilight never knew about the princess, she had terrible grammar. Now that she thought of it, it was like the two had kind of switched personalities, since Luna had always been slightly more confrontational than her elder sibling, and would always use the royal “we” when referring to herself. Perhaps it was the Nightmare Moon incident that had changed them both so much, that had curbed Celestia’s pride and hardened Luna’s tender temperament. “And besides, I'd be way more popular than her, cuz I’m prettier ‘n stuff. Miss magenta says i'm pretty.”
“Oh yeah? Then how come everypony calls you Hummlestia in school?” Luna responded smugly. “Everypony says you’re like a big white and pink bee.” Celestia deflated in an instant, and immediately ceased the flapping of her wings which had been the cause of the sound. She looked more upset than Luna had apparently intended to make her, because Luna also seemed to lose a bit of steam.
Noticing their degrading moods, Twilight started racking her brain for an idea to improve the overall atmosphere. Oh, why didn’t I get a book on foalsitting before I came here? She berated herself. An idea suddenly popped into her head, and while it probably wasn’t her best option, it was the only one she thought they might all enjoy. “Hey girls, how would you like to fly around with me?” she smiled and placed herself between them. “It’s dark outside so we can’t go far, but this room is real big, so we might still be able to have a bit of fun, don’t you think?” The fact that she was still sketchy at best when it came to flying sort of escaped her need to mention. She had to take control any way she could.
“Yeah! That sounds like fun! Can we both go, or do we have to take turns?” Celestia was giddy once again, and even the timid Luna was bouncing a bit at the suggestion. “Ooh, ooh, can I go first?”
“You will get your turn, but I seem to recall somepony deciding she wanted to overthrow me.” Celestia grinned sheepishly. “Not to mention your sister has been much more behaved than you, so I think she’s earned first ride.” Plus she didn’t gnaw the Element of Magic while it was on my head. Twilight lowered herself a bit to let the excited blue filly on her back. Once she felt the girl was secure, she flared her wings to make sure they felt strong enough, and gave a few test flaps to make sure. Alright Rainbow, let’s see if I retained any of what you said. She rose gently, gaining a bit of confidence when Luna didn’t immediately scream or fall off. “Ok, Luna, are you ready? We’ll start out slow, just to be safe.”
Twilight leaned into the direction she intended to go, and started forward. Ok, so far so good. Now, I gotta roll my wings elbow down as I flap to create forward thrust. That shouldn’t be too hard. She did as she had learned, and sure enough, Luna and herself started forward. Gaining speed as she went, Twilight angled up, and started flying up the wall, though she got a bit too close and had to use her hooves to keep from scraping her chest. She didn’t dare look behind her, but she could hear Luna’s happy giggling.
She spent the next couple of minutes flying around with Luna, trying every stunt she dared, which was limited to a barrel roll and loopdy-loop. Still, Luna was obviously having fun, so she let herself relax a bit. “Alright, Luna, it’s your sisters turn. We have to land now.” But before the motion could be made, a loud, high pitched scream came from down the hall. Fearing what she already knew, Twilight looked down, and sure enough Celestia had gotten bored and wandered off. She could only hope that the scream hadn’t been Celestia herself. Oh no, she bit something sharp! Or she fell down the stairs! Or she tripped and fell into a open drawer of silverware! Or-
As Twilight imagined all the terrible things that had befallen the filly, she used her magic to open the door, and with a rough flap of her wings built speed and launched herself through them. In spite of Luna trying her darndest to choke the life out of her, Twilight managed to keep them steady, and in no time she came upon the source of the commotion, and couldn’t decide to whether to breathe a sigh of relief or just laugh out loud.
Prince Blueblood was in town to try and convince Twilight he should be captain of her guard, a disastrous idea by all accounts, since he had no training in combat or military leadership, and he was reportedly a huge filly-colt. This all proved true as he danced about in a fit of hysteria, with the filly Celestia hanging off of his mane. “Get it off, Get it off! Please, sompony get this disgusting child off of me NOW!” he continued to wail and scream, all the while the guards and her chamberlain were doing their best to retrieve the child while not laughing in his face. However, his thrashing made it difficult to do so without hurting either of them. Twilight let it continue for a few more moments, then used her magic to lift them both into the air.
Blueblood continued to whimper and whine, blubbering like a child, as Twilight detached Celestia from his mane with a small pop. She set the prince down and placed the filly on her back next to her sister. “Princess Twilight, I demand that child be turned over for proper punishement!” said Blueblood, pointing a hoof at the filly on her back. “She deliberately attacked me and tried to destroy my public image with her deplorable display!”
“Nuh uh!” responded Celestia “I was looking for the toilet when-“
“I say! Such improper language!” interrupted the chamberlain, who received an irritated glare from Celestia. “Please, miss, a lady must say “lavatory” when she refers to the facilities, if she must refer to them at all!” he corrected
“Fine” she said haughtily “ I was on my way to the lavatory, when that jerk stepped on my tail. He yelled at me for being a clutz, so I, well, y’know…” she blushed lightly, and spoke from the side of her mouth, looking away from the ponies looking at her. “I just kinda bit him. It was barely even a nibble, really; it was just for being a jerk.” Twilight couldn't help but think 'good girl.'
“You assaulted me in plain view!” Blueblood accused “All the guards and even the servants saw it!”
Twilight agreed Celestia’s response to the situation was probably incorrect, but if her existing knowledge of the stallion, if he could be call one, was anything to go by, he wasn’t completely faultless. She decided to try and make him drop it. “Yes, you are probably right, Lord Blueblood, she is completely at fault.” Celestia gave her most horrified expression, and even some of the guards looked surprised, though Blueblood acted as if it was ridiculous that he had been doubted in the first place. “I will have all who were witness to the incident give me a written report, and I will have it brought by your home for verification- wait a moment, you live in Canterlot, correct?” she said feigning realization “then what was it you came here- Oh yes, you were here to be the captain of my guard, correct?” the nearest guards began to snicker, and even Celestia began to catch the con. His name may have been Blueblood, but he was a turning definite shade of green.
“Now, Lady Twilight, surely you would not think this situation would affect our previous discussions of office?”
Twilight smirked at him. “Oh, but I’m afraid it must. If my guard captain is to be laid low by the assault of a little filly, then I must fear for the kingdom.” The hallway was filled with snickers and chuckles, sending Blueblood from dark green to bright red. “And the reports, I’m afraid, will have to reflect that. Especially when it is first filed with Canterlot’s guard captain for record keeping.”
“Come now,” he responded, trying to save what little face he could “There is no harm, nothing a good brushing can’t fix. I see no need for you to go through the trouble of filing a report on so measly an occurrence.” He grinned a bit too wide and batted at the slobbered part of his hair. His false smile wavered a bit “After all, such children are so very… precious.” It was obvious he had to force the last word.
“Oh good, then we’re done here. Good day, Lord Blueblood.” Twilight cantered past him, giving Celestia just enough time to spread her eyelid and stick out her tongue as she passed. With a minor ‘hmph’ Blueblood moved past.
At Celestia’s request, they stopped at her initial goal, the toilet, and Twilight waited patiently for her to finish. She even told Luna to try so she wouldn’t have to worry about it later on, giving Twilight herself a bit of a break. A few moments in, however, her downtime was whisked away by her chamberlain. “Your Majesty? May I make an observation?” she sighed at having been disturbed, but gestured for him to continue. “The white filly may be hungry. I foal sit my grandchildren in my spare time and I have noticed the only times that they incessantly chew things is when their hungry, or when they were teething. When is the last time they ate?”
Twilight thought about it, and realized that even if the transformation hadn’t sapped all the strength they would have gotten from the food at the picnic, it had still been several hours since then. For a filly, that was a bit too long. “I’m afraid I hadn’t put any thought to the subject. Would you mind taking us to the kitchens? And maybe sending a servant to get my friends?”
He gave an approving nod, and called over a lingering maid, putting her to the task of retrieving the others from Dr. Stables office. Once the girls came out of the bathroom, she followed the chamberlain as he led them to the kitchens. Deciding to break the silence of the walk she asked “So, What’s your name? We’ve all been just calling you ‘the chamberlain’ this whole time.”
“Ah yes, your majesty. My name is Proper Intro. I used to be a narrorator for plays, perhaps you’ve heard of me?” she shook her head apologetically. “Pity. I was quite the thespian, but the prospect of working with royalty, I must confess, was too tempting to overlook.” They continued for a small while, until they came to the doors of the dining hall. Before she had completely passed him, though, he once again began to speak “oh and, your majesty?” he said.
“Yes, cham- Proper Intro?”she asked
“Good show, shutting that pompous sissy down like that.” He complemented her. “Can you believe he called me a mere servant? The nerve!”