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// 47. "Hell no!" (Author SI) 
// Story: Short Shorts 
// by Coranth 
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As I continued to feed the blind Manticore his food - various meats, which I'd made for him via the replicator in the Kitchenette - I heaved a world-weary sigh. "So... let me get this straight, Princess," I stated, my voice laced with sarcasm. "You expect me to give up the Dragon Weyr - which, I'll remind you, is my home - and because I'm an alicorn, you expect me to become a Prince of Equestria. To give up my home; my technology; my animals. My life. All for Equestria, of course." Celestia nodded sternly, a frown upon her muzzle. "Yes. You shall become a Prince akin to Shining Armor, and live within the Palace of..."

"Yes, yes, yes..." I snapped, cutting her off. "The oh-so-well protected Palace of Canterlot, where you'll keep an eye on me so I don't supposedly become a threat to your kingdom, your power, blah, blah, blah..." Celestia frowned deeply at my dismissal of her, grinding her teeth in anger as she watched me feed the Manticore. "Tell me... have you had any insect problems, lately? Maybe a Chrysalis in your basement?"

At my words, Celestia growled, but she knew she could do nothing against me here; Protoss Observers recorded her every word, whilst powerful Photon Cannon emplacements tracked every move she made and Reavers patrolled the grounds. If the Dragon Weyr detected even a hint of magic, she would be fired upon no matter what, if anything, she attempted. Even worse, nothing would save her if she attempted to breach the Weyr... With her fuming behind me, I finished feeding the Manticore, and then made my way to the Wolvery wherein I proceeded to feed the Orphaned Timberwolves their Tree Sap. "I came here, Princess, in search of a new life. But I can't even have that, can I?" I stated as I continued with my morning chores.

Before she could answer, I continued, "Adun's Burning Blade! If it's not your bloody sister "visiting" the Weyr of an evening then it's you hassling me of a morning and your bloody student in the afternoon! God damn it... 'Alicorn' does not automatically mean royalty! I don't want to come and live in your primitive palace, I don't want a pathetic title that means absolutely nothing. I don't give a flying fuck about your damn magic of friendship, or your little ponies! Nor do I want you and your damn sister spying on me all the time, because I'm not a threat to anyone except your fucking imagination. Now, for the last time, my answer to your 'offer' is 'Hell no!' I want to be left alone! Now... piss off!"

With a strangled cry of frustration, Princess Celestia did just that. I ignored her utterly and merely went about my day until afternoon became evening, thankfully without yet another interruption by a lavender-furred menace. After putting away my supplies, I headed back into the Weyrhome - hoping to settle down with a Hot Milo and a good book - but no sooner had I retrieved my drink from the Kitchenette then I knew my hopes for a relaxing evening were shot. As I reentered the main living area of the Weyrhome - my chocolate-flavoured drink suspended within  an aura of psionic energy - I sighed wearily. Therein, upon the old leather sofa facing the Great Fleece Pile where Ieesha had once slept, lay Princess Luna. "I... I just can't catch a break, can I?" I groaned. 

Angrily, I snapped to the Weyr, "What the fuck is she doing here? No Equestrian Pony is to breach the sanctity of the Weyr; you're the only scrap of privacy I have left! Why the hell did you let her in?" At my words, a white-hot flash of anger/negation tore through my thoughts, along with an audio sample, "She wants to weep. She wants to be comforted. She is so tired of being strong. She wants to be foolish and frightened for once. Just for a small while, that's all....a day.....an hour.” The 'words' of the Weyr were true, though Luna was already weeping, silvery tears falling from her eyes to stain the pthalo-blue fur of her muzzle as anguished sobs wracked her form. She looked horrible, the rest of her fur unwashed and her mane in total disarray. She also wasn't wearing her usual regalia, and it wasn't here in the Weyr; of it I could see no sign. I tried to harden my heart - I really, really did - but between the insistent pushing of the Weyr that I tend her and my own hate of seeing a lady cry... "Ah, shit..." I mumbled.

The sound of my hooves muffled by the soft carpeted floor upon which I walked, I made my way over to the old sofa - the first of two in the room - then sat before it and gently, oh-so-gently, nudged Luna with a hoof. "What's the matter, sweetie," I murmured softly. "Why are you crying?" At the sound of my voice, poor Luna raised her head and looked upon me listlessly, her expression one of dejection. "Now thou art kind to us?" spoke she. "We did not know a pony crying was thine weakness. Mayhap we have finally broken through thine shell..." At this, I cracked a wry grin, shaking my head as I replied, "Hey, just the bit you see, mare..." Then my expression became serious as I repeated, "What's the matter?" At first, the Lunar Diarch did not answer; instead, she sniffled - fought back yet another sob trying to rise from her throat - before she finally answered, "Thou art a follower of the Protoss thou callest 'Khas,' yes? Thou followeth the 'Khala' and take upon thyself the mantle of the Dae'Uhl, or 'Great Stewardship.' Thou must watch over the lesser races living within thy shadow?"

At this, my anger flared - I hissed under my breath, eyes glowing softly for a moment with my latent power - and Luna flinched visibly, frightened. A moment later however, aided by feelings of deep calm from the Dragon Weyr, I regained control of myself. "I am, I do, and I must," I intoned solemnly, with a nod of my head. 'Damn you, you bastard...' I thought privately to the Weyr, 'you've been sharing our secrets with her, haven't you? Why?' I shook my head. 'Ah, fuck it; it doesn't matter now...'  Aloud, I softly stated, "I may not like you ponies... but as a High Templar, and follower of the Khala, I shall do all within my power to aid you. What is it you wish of me, Princess? Speak your request and it will be done." Upon hearing my words, Princess Luna's expression visibly brightened, a relieved sigh escaping her as she set about making herself more comfortable upon the old sofa.

Once she was settled, however, the next words she spoke to me blew my mind, leaving me utterly floored! "W-We..." She paused, inhaled a breath, and then started again, "We would seek Asylum with thou, here in thine home, the Dragon Weyr. As one whom is charged with the Burden of the Great Stewardship, wilt thou grant mine request?"  At that moment, dear readers, the thoughts running through my head consisted of Language Most Foul. 'Fu-u-u-uck! Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck! Shit, she called me out. God damn it; now I'll have to grant her request, I...' I'd expected the Weyr to sympathize with me. I'd expected from it shock and surprise at the Lunar Diarch's request. I hadn't expected patience and acceptance from it, and - as I felt the emotions through the psychic bond I shared with the construct - my eyes narrowed. 'You...' I realized, 'you knew she was going to ask this, didn't you?' The construct's affirmation was my only answer.

With a shake of my head, I returned my attention to Luna. "Your request," I spoke carefully, "is granted." Upon hearing my accord, Luna smiled and the happiness/elation of the Weyr roared through my thoughts--finally more life would again fill its walls. "But," I stated, "you will only have Guest Access to the Weyr for now; that means you've got full access to everything in the Weyrhome - the part of the Weyr we're in now - as well as the Clinic in case of an emergency. The lab, my office, the Weyrmind and the Weyrheart are off limits. Got that?" When Princess Luna nodded, I heaved another sigh. "Right," I said. "Here's what's going to happen. First, I'm going to take you into the Clinic for a standard medical check; during the check, I'll be doing a detailed scan of your brain. This is so the Weyr can construct and fit you with a Neural Transceiver; a device that will let you communicate with the Weyr as I do, mentally. A few months down the line - if you want to stay that long - you'll get another bit of kit called a Warp Beacon; I'll explain that when you get it. Also, did you bring anything with you when the Weyr let you in?" 

At this, Luna nodded. "We did," she replied, "we brought with us our regalia and a small saddle bag; basic toiletries and the like. We... we didst not know if thou wouldst allow us to stay..." I nodded, gesturing for her to follow me with a wing as I headed from the Weyrhome to the clinic. "That's okay; there's a replicator in the Sleeping Alcove..." At this, Luna raised a hoof in question, but before she could ask, I continued, "A Replicator is a device that converts energy into matter; with one you can make almost anything - food, clothing, tools, and equipment - but there are some limits as to what it can do. In your case, you'll be able to use it to make clothing and other items for yourself; I'll teach you how to use it. As for what you brought with you..." - I queried the Weyr for the location of her possessions - "... your things are already aboard." Luna started at this. "They... they are?" asked she, wide eyed. As we walked down the short corridor leading to the Dragon Weyr's Clinic, I nodded. "Mmm-hmm," I replied, "your regalia and basics have been stored by the bed the Weyr has assigned you in the Sleeping Alcove, in a little chest of drawers there; you'll know which one it is because your Tiara's resting on top of it." The Lunar Diarch nodded. "Oh," I continued, "and don't worry about anything being stolen. Nothing happens here in the Weyr without me hearing about it. Understand?"

Luna blinked and nodded. Pausing momentarily, I turned to face her, hazel eyes meeting teal as I asked, "I don't mean to offend you, Princess, but... why have you chosen to seek asylum here with me?" At my question, a shuddering sigh wracked the Lunar Diarch's body. Then, a moment later, she answered, "Whilst I understand thy desire of thee to be left alone to thine own devices, Our Beloved Sister doth not, Templar David. She wonders why thou dost so utterly spurn her offer of becoming royalty, and reject the Magic of Friendship. We understand why... but for her 'tis a mystery that hath driven her to madness; she is angry and more than a little paranoid. She believes thou art a threat to Her and Our Little Ponies. We... attempted to reason with her, but could not; instead she fought with us briefly and..." I slashed a hoof through the air for silence, as I concluded, "... and so you decided to come and hang here with me, until she calms down. Which could take a while..."

Luna nodded, and then, she and I entered the Clinic. Therein I had her undergo a basic medical checkup - she was fine and healthy, though somewhat stressed due to current events. Then I examined the physical composition and layout of her brain, and took a scan of her neurosynaptic patterns; once this all was complete I had the Dragon Weyr design and replicate her new Neural Transceiver. Upon being presented with the device, which was roughly the same size as - but slightly thicker than - an Equestrian Bit - Luna frowned and I bade her take it in her magic such that she could examine it. "We... we must admit, Templar David: We expected something far grander than yon device," stated she as she gently turned the Transceiver this way and that way, examining the device with a critical eye. "Pray tell... art thou sure this device wilt perform the function 'tis crafted for? It seems... somewhat small for all it does..." 

A smile creasing my teal muzzle, I gently took the device from her, attached it to its proper place at the base of her skull, activated it, and then... A gasp escaped Luna, her eyes visibly widening as for the first time she felt the Transceiver form a neural bridge between her mind and the eternal robotic mind of the Dragon Weyr. Upon feeling the Weyrmind connect and bond with her own, a sob caught in her throat, tears clouding her vision as the mighty construct's curiosity/warmth/welcome/comfort/love filled her thoughts--and then, a moment later the Weyr 'spoke' to her in its quirky way. "Hello! ma baby / Hello! ma honey / Hello! ma ragtime gal / Send me a kiss by wire / Baby, ma heart's on fire! / If you refuse me / Honey, you'll lose me / Then you'll be left alone / Oh, baby, telephone / And tell me I'm your own!" That, dear readers, was when Luna just lost it; it was all she could do to hold herself upright, leaning against a Biobed for support, as she laughed so hard she nearly choked!

And so it was that Princess Luna became a part of my everyday life. Although I wasn't a truly qualified teacher, I 'took her under my wing' as a kind of apprentice, and began to teach her what I could. One of the first things I attempted to teach her was, of course, the language of the Protoss, Khalani. In exchange, she attempted to teach me Ancient Equestrian. As with many things, however, nothing went as planned – and, eventually, she and I developed our own unique language consisting of a combination of English, Ancient Equestrian, and Khalani. In addition to teaching Luna the language of my former people, aided by the construct itself I taught the Princess how to use the replicators throughout the Weyr in order to replicate for herself food, clothing, and sundries. Since she was unused to such advanced technology, the replicators fascinated the Lunar Diarch. "'Tis like a unicorn's spell to conjure items, but one that can be used infinitely and without consequences!" she said in awe, after replicating for herself a fresh salad and an iced coffee one morning. "To think... with one of these marvelous devices - or many placed throughout Our Principality - Our Little Ponies would never fear going hungry again!"

"Mm, true," I replied, as I ate my own breakfast, "but think of the consequences, Luna; ponies whose skills lie in the production of food - like the Element of Honesty, Applejack, for example - would find themselves out of work. There's also the power requirements; to put energy/matter replicators throughout Equestria would require the installation of a Pylon Network connected to and sustained by the Weyr. We could do it, but... truthfully, I doubt Equestria is ready for such massive technological change. Your Principality is fine as is; why make unnecessary change." At this, Luna thought for a moment, then nodded slowly. "Perhaps," said she, "thou art right." Time marched ever-onward as it always does, dear readers, until at last the day came when Princess Luna officially became a full crew member of the Dragon Weyr through a very significant event: the receipt of a Warp Beacon.

As I carefully placed the device - which resembled a tiny old fashioned lantern attached to a golden chain - around her neck, the Moon Princess stared at it curiously, taking note of the blue-glowing light shining from within it. "Pray tell, what doth it do, David?" she asked. 

"First" I answered, "it surrounds you with a psionic energy shield, which traps some air inside. You'll need that, as the Warp is an airless place. After that... The Warp Beacon holds but a small portion of the Dragon Weyr's eternal power, enough to shatter reality and draw you into the Warp. From there, well, like calls to like; thus no matter where you are in the physical world, you'll immediately be recalled to the safety of the Dragon Weyr. Would you like to perform a test of the Beacon here? During the test, you'll enter the Warp, and stay there for a short time, until the Dragon Weyr pulls you out."

"Wait," Luna stated, "thou... thou stated that this 'Warp' was a place without air! What shalt occur shouldst the energy shield fail?" At her question reassurance from the Weyr filled her thoughts; the great Nexus would monitor her vital signs and the level of atmosphere trapped by her shield. If said atmosphere began to run out - or she began to show signs of panic or distress - the Weyr would immediately pull her out. "Th-thou art sure?" asked she, nervously, now talking to the Weyr. Reassurance/trust was the reply the lunar alicorn received... and so, swallowing nervously, she directed her thoughts towards the device. Within seconds, the Warp Beacon activated, the 'golden lantern' shining with bright cerulean light as the devices' internal Induced Psi-Field Generator came online, creating a protective psychic energy shield around her body, which inadvertently ‘trapped’ some atmosphere, enough for her to breathe, '...for short while, at least...’ I thought. 

Just then, the jump initiated and a shriek escaped Luna as in a blaze of cerulean light, she vanished into the Warp. The Princess of the Moon found herself submerged within an ocean of cerulean light, which stretched out infinitely, in all directions. ‘Well... we art still alive, and,’ she tentatively inhaled a breath of air, ‘... We can still breathe.' Overwhelmed, she looked about. Never had she seen a place of such indescribable beauty! A domain that existed beneath physical reality, the Warp was a place where there was no sense of time, size, or scale; all seemed relative. It wasn't a peaceful place, however; on the contrary, David had explained to her some time ago that it was hazard-filled and extremely dangerous. The Warp held no atmosphere and, additionally, great gushes of energy called Warp Storms—that could wreak havoc upon all forms of matter—frequently tore through the place. Even worse, cosmic debris—material dumped from warp-traveling craft—littered the Warp.

Finally, scholars believed that indigenous creatures called Warp Wraiths made their home here. 'We hope We dost not encounter those...' thought Luna, a shiver running down her spine. David's explanation of the Warp - along with her own studies of it via the Weyr's Ihan Archives - had revealed little about these powerful entities, except that they apparently fed directly upon the Warp itself! Fortunately, however, none of the Warp's dangers existed within this small section of it, for the Weyr was a Protoss Nexus--and a sapient one at that; within range of its influence dangers were repelled and furious Warp Storms rendered calm. Thus, so long as she had air to breathe, she could roam wherever she wished, and if she strayed too far from its influence or her air supply began to run low, the Dragon Weyr would shift her back into the physical world. ''Tis amazing...' she thought, in awe.

Since she was here only for a test of the Warp Beacon she now bore, her time within the wondrous Warp was brief and ended all-too-quickly; a short time later, whilst she was watching a rippling 'wave' of warp energy passing by, she felt a pulling sensation from the Weyr--and then she was back within its walls, a cerulean aura fading from about her form. Eyes glistening with unshed tears, Princess Luna fell to her haunches, gazing up at me, her lower lip trembling. "We... w-we saw..." she started, but I made to hush her gently; I knew what she'd seen for I had once seen it myself.

"I know," I stated softly. "I know."

More months passed, and more animals came, allowing Luna and I to care for them for a time before they moved on as wild things do. One night, as she and I partook of a hearty vegetable stew for our dinner, the Lunar Princess laid it all out; she explained to me what it meant to be an Alicorn--effectively, what I was in for. "Mortal Ponies," stated she softly after swallowing yet another spoonful of stew, "will defer to us. They will ask for our help in matters great and small. They will revere us and look up to us as examples, regard us as paragons whether we are or not. Place us in positions of power and authority. Do things in our name, because they think it is what we want. Whether out of love or out of respect or out of fear, ponies will follow us, simply because we are so powerful."

"Hold on a second..." I replied, raising a hoof for a moment's silence. When Luna acknowledged this, I continued, "none of this applies to me! Luna... I'm not even a real Alicorn."

"Oh?" she replied, her tone one of question. "Well, thou lookest like an Alicorn to me. Explain, then, how 'thou art not real.'"

So I did.

"When I first came to Equestria I had the Dragon Weyr's Probes and Observers scan and take small samples from your people..." At this Luna frowned and I immediately raised a hoof to forestall her reply. "It sounds downright creepy and perverse, I know, but it's not what you're thinking--it isn't!" I stated vehemently. "I never abducted or hurt anyone, alright? The Observers took extremely detailed scans of the Earth Ponies, Pegasi, and Unicorns and the Probes I dispatched took things that nopony would miss: shed pony fur, hoof clippings, that sort of thing." 

"What didst thou do with the samples thou took?" Luna asked.

"Via the samples, and detailed scans from your people, the Dragon Weyr was able to construct a template - literally a three dimensional pattern of a pony - from which my original, human body was turned into" - I gestured to my teal alicorn body - "this. I decided to become a pony to, well, blend in. I was hoping for a  unicorn form such that I could still use my psionic powers - I thought I could 'fake it enough' to pass them off as magic, see - but something went wrong. I got a pair of pegasus wings thrown into the mix..."

"Making thou an Alicorn," Luna finished. "Regardless of how thou came to be one of Us, thou are still an Alicorn. Even now thou hast become Prince of thine own small, humble kingdom..."

"What?" I stated, flatly. Instead of replying, Luna bade me finish my evening meal and she in turn finished hers. Then, after we'd recycled our empty dishes via the replicator in the kitchenette, the Princess of the Night led me out of the Dragon Weyr. As she bade me follow her through the great Gate of Dawn and then led me around the Weyr's exterior to the back, I grumbled, "I still don't know what you're carrying on about. I told you: I'm not a prince of anything."

"Really?" Luna asked, a smirk upon her muzzle. "Try telling them, that..." She gestured forward with a silver-clad hoof... and as I looked to where she was pointing, my jaw dropped. There, nestled comfortably within the shadow of the Dragon Weyr, the light of Celestia's sun allowed me to see... 

A village. 

An entire village.

An entire village of ponies... 

... just... living, and doing whatever it was that ponies did.

Well-crafted stone and mud-brick huts, some log cabins, a couple of proper houses with thatched roofs, and a general goods store comprised the bulk of the village, all of which was centered about a large communal garden. Above said garden I saw what appeared to be a cloud house of all things, and set away from the bulk of the village - so as not to foul the airspace, there appeared to be a smithy. Though much of the village looked relatively normal for the most part, to my horror I espied quite a few pyramid-houses; homes built the same shape as the Weyr in whose shadow they resided, along with golden-pyramid motifs on signs and...

That was when I stopped looking at the village, performed an abrupt about face and walked back the way I had come. As I swiftly strode past Luna, I flatly stated, "I hate you. I hate you. I really do." That damn alicorn just smirked, even as she held a hoof over her muzzle, struggling to keep from laughing and alerting the village to our presence. When at last she returned to the Weyr she found me banging my head against my desk in my Office in the Weyrhome. As i made to bang my head against the desk yet again, however, the Night Princess swiftly inserted her head beneath mine such that my head ended up over her neck. "David. David," she soothed, "please, calm yourself..."

Raising my head to look at her, I inhaled a deep breath before replying, "Yes, you're right. I'm a High Templar of Khas. I must be calm, I am calm I--HOW THE FUCK DID THEY GET THERE?!" Those last words, issued in a frightful howl, startled Luna so badly that she shrieked, leaped a foot into the air and ended up sprawled out on her back! Mere seconds later, as she rolled to her feet, I began to pace back and forth, lost in my own world as I raged, "How the hell did those ponies come here? How did they even find me? I thought I was far enough away that no pony would bother me! How the flying fuck did they... I don't even..." Suddenly, an epiphany hit me and - furious - I spoke aloud to the air, to the Weyr. "You..." I snarled, "you called them here, didn't you? You miserable--"

"We theorize" Luna stated, cutting off my rant, "that perhaps the Element of Kindness, dear Fluttershy, may have caught wind of your presence from one of her animal friends--perhaps one of the very animals you cared for told her--and then she told others. What We do know is that the first settlers here arrived sometime after We did and... We MAY have told them to build quietly so as not to rouse your ire... Then those ponies told others of a safe refuge in the Everfree, and they told others..."

"... and in no time at all, a whole fucking village springs up on Weyrland. Great. Terrific," I stated in exasperation then briefly snarked at the Weyr, "I still think you had a hand in this, you blasted bolt bucket. You called some of them, didn't you?"

The Weyr merely sent me a vision of a pony tapping a hoof and whistling oh-so-innocently... "... Innocent my pony arse," I grumbled in reply. "I told you no ponies were to come here; that I wanted to be left alone! Why didn't you deal with them when they first--GHHH!" Just then, the Weyr's negation/anger/shame ripped through my mind, coupled with a powerful vision… As I stood there before him within the Templar Archives of Chionesu, my head bowed in shame for the grievous error I had committed, my Mentor, High Templar Zhand'Akull, reprimanded me gently for my failure. "We Firstborn are charged with the task of the Dae'Uhl - the Great Stewardship - to watch over the lesser races within our shadow. Remember this, and remember, too, the Oaths you took upon becoming High Templar." With furious anger, I banished the vision from my mind. "To hell with my Oaths!" I snarled. "God damn it, man, I told you that I stopped being a High Templar the moment we set down here; that I just wanted to be left alone to live out my own life as I saw fit, I--"

But my words were hollow and empty. The Dragon Weyr knew it, and Luna knew it, too, for she stared at me with a deep disappointed frown as I walked past her, out of the office and headed to the Psiodeck. "'Anger Management Program One,'" I stated roughly as I entered. Affirmation/Sorrow was the Weyr's response as said program came to life. When the doors closed, there in the 'deck I made full use of said program. I shouted, ranted, raged and raved. I spat on and cursed the Equestrian Princesses over, and over and over again. I also smashed, broke, and shattered many objects that seemed suspiciously pony-shaped, and pony princess shaped, too. I acted completely against and unbecoming of how a High Templar ought to act. Did I give a shit at the time? No, I did not. When at last my anger was spent - when I was wrung out and utterly exhausted - I tottered from the Psiodeck to the bathroom, performed my evening ablutions, and then headed to the sleeping Alcove wherein I crashed into bed.