Sneezing Luna Doting Tia

by Wasabi-beans


Gaffe-aw

A few days later after the Twilight Court fiasco...

It was early evening, but Princess Luna's assistant, the well-built Spoken Softly, could not sleep. He got out of his quarters and put on a extra-thick bathrobe, for the blizzard was raging ferociously outside and darkening the skies.

His typically neat pink mane was frazzled and he was yawning as he made his way to the staff pantry for a midday snack. Turns out, Princess Celestia's new personal assistant, Page Turner, was there as well in her own thick coat.

"Good evening, Spoken," said Page, as she sipped her tea. She looked rather tired as well in spite it being day.

"Good evening, Page. How are you?" gently boomed Spoken that rattled Page's teacup.

"By Celestia's mane! Your voice...!" exclaimed Page in shock, "I didn't know you could pull off the Royal Canterlot Voice! Is that legal?"

"Hmm? Oh! Right, sorry..." Spoken coughed a bit, and his voice boomed less but still remained deep and attractive, "M-m-my voice gets that way when I'm feeling groggy and just woken up. As you can tell, I couldn't sleep well these past few days..."

"You're still worried about Princess Luna, aren't you?" asked Page concernedly.

"Yes, poor thing has stopped crying, thank goodness," said Spoken sadly as he made himself a hot cup of tea, "But she's thrown herself into her work more than ever, even without my assistance! And, well, just look outside,"

Page did. They were rather high up in the castle, and they could see everything was covered in thick snow, and the winds spread the frost and cold all over the lands.

"Luna's affecting the weather again, that's normal, err, as normal as it can be around here," commented Page, "Still, Her Majesty is only aggravating it, not causing it. Have you heard anything new from the Weather Department as to why it's snowing so badly?"

"From my understanding," said Spoken, "It's definitely something coming from beyond the borders of Equestria, but that's all they know so far. Say, how's Princess Celestia?"

"Oh, she's still upset," Page said concernedly, "She feels all guilty smothering Luna like that, to the point where she let me off from work early today! Speaking of which, did you know Princess Luna's still awake?"

Spoken's eyes were wide in shock, "What!? Since when!?"

"Well, it was in the afternoon, and she was walking back to her room with piles of files, so I'm guessing she's must've stayed up since last night,"

"Oh that stubborn princess!" stomped Spoken's hood down with rare frustration, then realized what he just did, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Page! I didn't mean to look mean and angry!"

But Page giggled, "It's okay, Spoken! It's nice to see you more confident!"

"It's just that, as a good assistant should, I've been telling her to get a good day's sleep and not to worry so much, but now she's just being more stubborn than usual!

"You know what, Page!?"

"Err, what?"

"I'm going to tell her off! I am going to tuck her into bed whether she likes it or not!"

"Wow, that's bold, especially for you. But if she starts zapping you?"

"I'll take it then! It's my job as a Royal P.A to take care of her assigned Princess!"

"... you weren't assigned to Princess Luna," smirked Page, and leaned in closer, "You chose to be Princess Luna's assistant,"

Spoken blushed and hid behind his mane, "D-d-don't judge me..."


Spoken was before the doors of Princess Luna's bedchambers. Luna's bedchambers was notorious for being the most fortified room in all of Equestria.

Some say that if the Castle would crumble, the cruelly dubbed 'Mare Cave' will still stand.

Some say that it is so strong that that was where Luna and Celestia bunked when Discord first returned.

Some say that the 'Mare Cave' is so heavy padded, the walls so thick and strong, and the doors nigh impenetrable, that it was not to protect the Princess, but to protect Equestria from the Princess.

Only a hoof-full of ponies know that Princess Luna simply snores louder than a dragon, and that the room was designed to muffle the noise.

Spoken knocked on the heavy doors.

"ENTER," proclaimed the Princess from the inside.

Spoken struggled to push one of the doors opened for a good thirty seconds, before it could open enough for her to pass through.

And true enough, Princess Luna was by her table, working. The floors were littered with hankies and tissues.

The waning daylight shone in that showed that she was working on some astronomical charts again. Her face ragged and her nose was working as another source of light,therefore omitting the use of candles.

The blizzard raged on.

"P-p-princess Luna, why are you awake?" whispered Spoken in fear.

"Why are you awake, Spoken Softly," asked Luna back, "It is not time for you to begin your duties yet, you should be getting a good day's rest,"

"I-I-I know, it's just that-" Spoken struggled to keep his voice above a baritone whisper, "Page Turner told me that you were awake, but you're not supposed to be awake-"

"You did not answer my question, Spoken Softly," insisted Luna, not angrily, but there was a hint of frustration.

Spoken squeaked in fear. "W-w-well, it's because- wait! No! No, I will not be put down today!" declared Spoken with rare charisma.

Luna's tired eyes glared at him with slight surprise, but also curiosity.

"I asked the question first, Princess!" bellowed Spoken deeply, "And as your Royal Personal Assistant, I am soundly advising you to have some courtesy to answer my question first as to why you are awake!?"

Luna's eyebrow rose, "This is the first time you are giving me the stink-eye, Spoken Softly,"

Spoken's stink-eye waned as she said that, realizing what he had done, "Oh! I'm so sorry, Princess! I don't-"

Luna's hoof came up and he remained silent.

"You are right, of course, I apologize," stated Luna, "And to answer your question: I have a lot of work that has been backlogged and slowed down due to my accursed nose... *SNIFF*"

"But that is alright, Princess!" pleaded Spoken, "You need you rest! I can help you-"

"It is currently your rest time, Spoken Softly!" Luna snapped, "You are well aware that I forbid anyone directly under my rule to forsake their rest time!"

"But what about you, Princess!?"

For the first time, Luna looked uncertain, and turned away, back to her work, "I can handle this myself, Spoken Softly. As the Princess of the Night, I have my duties to uphold. Come snot nor shine, I cannot let some foolish cold stop me... or a foolish fellow Princess from distracting me either- HAAAAA-"

And Luna bolted out of the window like a lightning bolt again, and sneezed in the outdoors, "CHOOO!!!!"

Luna teleported back beside Spoken, and Spoken instinctively wiped her dribbling muzzle,"*SNIFF* blerrrrghhh... thank you, Spoken Softly,"

Now that he was closer to her, he definitely noticed that she looked a little weaker than a few days before: poorer posture, week knees, droopy eyes, and that incredibly glowing snout.

"P-p-princess Luna...!" sputtered Spoken,"Don't you think-"

"Enough casual conversation, Spoken Softly," ordered Luna quietly, and levitated him to the door.

"No, Princess! Please, just-"

"FOR THINE LOYALTY AND TIRELESS SERVICE TO THINE PRINCESS AND THE NIGHT," decreed the Night Princess abruptly, "THOU SHALT BE GIVEN A PAY-RAISE AND A PROMOTIONAL VOUCHER FROM DONUT JOE'S DONUT SHOP!!"

And she levitated a voucher to Spoken, who was still adjusting his ear. The voucher had Donut Joe's goofy face on it.

"Here is your voucher, and I shall arrange for your raise in the coming month," she stated.

And before he could say anything else, Luna placed it in his mane, plonked him down outside her room, and using her bare hoof, closed the door.

It was a gentle closing, but it rumbled and shook the palace.

Spoken was left with the voucher, and only the chilling cold that slowly crept all over the palace accompanied him to his next visit.

Princess Celestia.


Spoken knocked on Celestia's doors.

"Enter," said a beautiful voice that was tinged with sadness and nostalgia.

He pushed opened the door (which was much lighter), and he saw that Princess Celestia was lying in the center of the room, in front of her were tissues around her and a large golden book. Spoken recognized it as one of her most cherished belongings: a photo album of her personal life.

"Spoken?" said a surprised Celestia, "What are you doing up in this time?"

"I couldn't sleep, Your Majesty," answered Spoken, "And while I don't mean to worry you more, but the last few days have been troubling..."

Celestia's ears laid flat. "Yes, it has been for me as well, obviously," she muttered, "In any case, what can I help you with, my little pony?"

"I..." began Spoken nervously, "I wanted to see how you were doing, Your Majesty,"

"Me?"

"I bumped into Page Turner and she told me you were upset and I wanted to see how you were doing,"

"I suppose I am alright, my former assistant," she said with a smile, but it faltered, "I don't know, I just feel so upset with myself. All I wanted to do was to care for... for Luna,"

Spoken sat down, "I understand, Princess. But we'll need to give her some space now. I just met her-"

"Met her?" said a surprised Celestia, "What's she doing awake at this time?"

"W-w-well, she's continued on with her work-"

"That- that is unacceptable!" exclaimed Celestia, "That is too much with her condition!"

"I know, Princess, I know!" assured Spoken, " But the second reason I came was to tell you that, and to humbly request that you do not take any action,"

"... explain yourself then," slowly said Celestia.

"Luna is, well, she's an adult. And she needs her space," he explained, "And well, umm, she especially needs her space from you,"

"Hmm..."

"Erm, don't tell her I said this, but, the little sister needs to learn how to fall, in order to learn how to get up, at least for the moment,"

"The problem is, Spoken, is that when she falls, something shatters,"

"Oh, well, if you put it like that-"

"No, Spoken, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that," corrected Celestia, "It's obvious that I am very protective of my little sister. I know she can take care of herself, and I know that she's fiercely independent, but, well, let me show you something, but don't tell sister, or she'll be even angrier with me,"

And she flipped the book open to a particular chapter. Spoken peeked, then gasped, then blushed very, very hard.

"Are these, Princess Luna's baby photos?" Spoken couldn't believe his eyes. The multiple photos of a filly Luna were irrefutably, indescribably, astronomically, adorable.

"Yes, Luna was a cute little filly back in those days gone by," Celestia chuckled in near-reverence to those memories, "Though back then, I used to call her by her pet name, 'Woona',"

"Oh! That is adorable!" gushed Spoken, "But I think she won't like it if I called her that,"

Celestia rolled her eyes, "You have no idea,"

"Oh, why is the Princess in this one covered in ice-cream and sulking like that?" gushed Spoken.

"Ah, this was when she snuck into an ice-cream mare's cart to greedily eat all the ice-cream!" laughed Celestia, "She got so excited, the cart lost balance and fell down a hill. I had to pay that mare the entire cost of the cart and her supplies because of that silly little Woona!

"And as punishment, I pinned this photo up in the Royal Bulletin Board for all to see! Gave the castle staff back then a good laugh!"

Spoken attempted to hold back his laughter, "PFFFT...! Hee-hee! Oh, I feel so naughty looking at all these!"

"Now let me show you a particular section," she said cryptically.

She flipped the book a few pages forward, and she pointed to a title and the few photos it referred to: WOONA with the WOOZIES.

"Woozies, Princess?" asked a confused Spoken.

"I liked to baby my sister back then," she replied sheepishly, "Actually, well, I still would like to now,"

They both looked at the photos.

There was the one where a red-nosed filly 'Woona' looked at the camera angrily, cheeks puffed and mouth scrunched in an adorable toddler anger.

There was the one next to it where a cooing teenager Celestia was feeding Luna some soup.

The third one had Celestia wrapping Luna in the familiar sun-adorned blanket. What surprised Spoken was that Luna seemed happy to be in it.

The fourth photo was simply Celestia sleeping and hugging Luna in her Lunar-rito. They looked peaceful.

"My parents took these," sighed Celestia, "Mother always used joke that I was practically Luna's second mom, feeling responsible to little Luna all the time. As you can see, I sometimes just feel a need to care for her,"

She noticed that he wasn't really listening to her, as Spoken was enraptured by the adorableness of Woona, blush still bright, and she could hear a sliver of Spoken cooing.

She also noticed a voucher of Donut Joe's deliberately stuck in his mane, "Spoken? Did my sister give you a raise?"

He snapped out of his cooing phase, "Huh? How did you know that?"

She chuckled and pointed at the voucher that Spoken had in his mane, "Only my sister would have the ingenious idea of giving raises with vouchers to sweeten the deal!"

"B-b-but, this is the third time she's given me a raise with a voucher in the past four months!" he replied, "I feel so guilty receiving all these raises, but we know what happens if I tell her no!"

"Well, I think it's partly due to her innate loyalty to her subjects, and partly because she's never had a personal assistant before,"

Spoken stared at Celestia, not even daring to ask if she was jesting.

"...never...?"

"Never,"

"As in never-never?"

"Never-never,"

"As in never-never-in-her-whole-entire-life-never?"

"Never-never-in-her-whole-entire-life-never,'

"Never-never-in-her-" and Celestia placed a hoof on his lips, and merely nodded, and she pulled back.

"But... why? She's a Princess, she should've had a P.A before!!" exclaimed Spoken disapprovingly.

"She should, but it's partly because she was very headstrong back then, and partly because... frankly, ponies in those days were either terrified of her, or despised her,"

Spoken was visibly upset learning that. Celestia explained further.

"You must understand my little pony. Ponies knew very little of the Night back then, associating it with Nightmares and unspeakable horrors. And my dear sister, sadly, was a part of that, and was in a way, an uncomfortable link to those horrors.

"In fact, the only reason she accepted you, Spoken, as her personal assistant, was because you requested to be so," smiled Celestia, looking for the first time in their conversation rather happy.

Spoken felt the weight of the world upon him. And in a rather convoluted way, felt Luna's weight as well, and how lonely it must have been for her in all those years of suffering...

"Spoken, I want you to be honest with me," stated Celestia with a sudden firmness, "You have been my P.A for quite some time, then you requested to be Luna's P.A, and I believe the reason was that you wished to work in a brand new environment, and that, as you said before, Princess Luna seemed... 'interesting',"

Spoken blushed, "Erm, yes?"

"Now that you have been working with Luna for sometime now, how has it been working with her?"

"Oh! Well, Princess Luna is very strict and very disciplined, kind of the opposite of working with you actually,"

"Do tell, Spoken Softly,"

"Well, usually you're relaxed with most matters, but Luna is immaculate and expects nothing but the best from her staff, me including, so she will punish us if we do anything wrong, but she's very generous with rewards if we do something right, or when she thinks we're doing something right...?" he points to his voucher as an example.

"Anything else of interest?"

"Well, this may surprise you, Princess, but I think she cares for her subjects in a much more personal manner than you do, Princess. What I mean is...! Well, you know she enters and manages the Dream World, and she meets all sorts of ponies, and she really takes a more personal and nurturing approach, especially to children. She really loves children..."

That made Celestia giggle, "You seem to appreciate that about her!"

"Oh yes, I know a lot of people think she's all scary and unapproachable, but actually, well, no, she can be scary and unapproachable!"

Celestia nodded in agreement.

"But I do think she's also misunderstood, and that she's trying her best to provide for everyone, even at her own expense, sometimes. She's loyal to a fault, honestly,"

"Indeed. And to inform you, Spoken, yes, I know she takes a more personal approach, that has always been her style. And personally, I think that's a healthy counterbalance to how I govern. Now, Spoken, are you happy that you transferred to her?"

"Oh my! Umm... well... yes,"

'In spite of the recent events?"

"Well, when you put it that way... no, I still don't have any regrets being Princess Luna's P.A,"

"May I ask why?"

"Erm... she's, well, made my life more exciting actually. I'm typically in the thick of things with her, be it inspections on the troops, keeping track of her patrol routes at night, catching her sneezes, or speaking with the emissaries of Tartarus...!"

He shivered at the frightening experience; so many sharp horns...

"So your duties in comparison with mine are practically night and day?"

"That... is exactly what it is, Princess. Both night and day, but both equally rewarding," beamed Spoken.

Celestia nodded in agreement again, "Thank you, Spoken, I'm glad you're happy with her,"

"And Princess?"

"Yes?"

"I know I said to not approach her for the moment, but..." and Spoken stood tall, "I shall take care of your sister, Princess Celestia. That, I promise you!"

Spoken was quite confused when Celestia winked at him mischievously, "Oh, I know, Spoken! I know!"

Suddenly, they heard Page Turner's panicked shoutings.

"PRINCESS CELESTIA! PRINCESS CELESTIA!!" shouted Page as she barged in through the doors, "And Spoken...!? Anyways, PRINCESS!"

"What is it, Page?" Celestia asked concernedly.

"Ermm, well, you know the Flim-Flam Brothers?" she began, "They've escaped from their prison!"

"I see," the Princess said calmly, who stood up, "Just awhile ago?"

"Actually, this morning..."

"What? Then why did you not tell me sooner?" asked the Princess urgently.

"Well, you didn't look in the best shape today, and the Royal Guards were handling it," she explained, "But that's unfortunately not why I'm here. Umm... Princess Luna was at the Royal Guard's stations to get more assignments to do... and she overheard that the Brothers have escaped, and now... she's... in pursuit of them..."

Spoken and Page witnessed something very rare: Celestia slapping her hoof on her face, and dragging it down in frustration, whilst muttering, "Urrrghhhh... that filly will give me nightmares..."

And she turned to Spoken, "My little pony, I do not like to go back on your words, but I think you can agree I'll need to retrieve Luna back on this one,"

Spoken nodded nervously, and she flew up and out of the balcony, and the incredible snow tumbled in.

Page and Spoken ran atop the pile and to the balcony's edge, and they saw Celestia in the whirling cold, sticking her ears out and turning them around like radar. The two assistants recognized that gesture as listening in and pinpointing the location of the Royal Canterlot Sneeze.

"HAAAAA...CHOOOOOOOO!!!"

Her body stopped moving, and pointed. "There!" she exclaimed. But where she pointed greatly worried her. It was in the far North, where the mountain ranges bordered onto Equestria and the Crystal Empire.

What's more, she could feel the icy winds seemingly originating from there.

What's worse,Celestia could just make out through the raging blizzard, that there was a lot of lightning being struck near one of the bordering mountains.

Very deliberately placed lightning.

"Something's not right," said Celestia grimly, and turned to Luna's assistant, "Spoken! You will have to accompany me to get Luna! You won't listen to just me alone!"

"W-w-what...?" he whimpered fearfully, "Up-up-up in the North?"

But before he could say anymore, Celestia conjured up his thick bathrobe on him and levitated him on her back, "Oof! Is this my bathrobe?"

"Page Turner, send a platoon of Day and Night guards to where all that lightning is up in the North!" ordered Celestia. Page saluted and galloped back into the warmth of the palace.

And now in the chilly cold, "Hang on Spoken! I will be rocketing us to Luna's location!"

"Rocketing!?" exclaimed Spoken in horror, "Couldn't you just teleport us there!?"

"The snow makes it too risky! Hold on!" And Celestia began to flex her muscles.

'Wait! Lemme' just take some breathing exer-" but Celestia (with Spoken) turned into a living comet, blazing through the thick falling snow.

Her mane and tail were a flaming, blazing red, though not burning Spoken up.

He didn't know that however, and that fueled his very baritone scream, "AHHHHHHHHH!!!"


In mere seconds, Celestia was near her destination, and she began to cool her flames down and slowed her velocity.

She was at the borders of the vast mountain ranges, and the snow was pouring incredibly hard to the point where she could barely make out what's in front of her.

Spoken stopped screaming about halfway in the trip and just froze, gripping Celestia's neck for dear life, his mane slightly singed.

"Spoken! Spoken!" yelled Celestia through the volume of snow and thunder, "Are you alright?"

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I'M GOOD! I'm good!" replied Spoken as he shivered.

He had never felt such cold before, "Now where's P-p-princess Luna!!? She's can't stay out here! It's so freezing!"

Celestia began to scan the mountain ranges, especially where the lightning was. And then she saw something at the middle of a large mountain, where the dreadful winds and storms were at its worst.

She also saw a certain dark blue shape in its distance, roaring and flying quick as lightning, zipping in and out of that particular area.

"No... it can't be..." uttered Celestia so scared and fearful, that it chilled Spoken's frazzled composure even more than the blizzard.

"What is- WOAH!!" he yelled as Celestia flew even closer to where the lightning and snow was at its most aggressive.

And she saw them.

The reason for the early blizzard.

The reason for her little sister's cold.

The Windigos have returned.