//------------------------------// // Lost Again In Thought, To Find What Was Forgot // Story: Waking Up in Black and White // by _Kenzu_ //------------------------------// CHP 11 Lost Again In Thought, To Find What Was Forgot (Author’s note: nice listening music for the beginning of the chapter) ________________________________________________ In hindsight, everything about today seemed a bit ironic. I reflected on it all as I idly sipped my tea with a small grin. When I had woken it seemed like I was fighting the entire world scared and alone. ‘Now I had come full circle’ I thought to myself as I stared across at the table to the other mares who were enjoying their own meals in complete quiet bliss. They seemed almost unaware of how fortunate I felt upon the chance run in with this group. The ponies in front of me all seemed like a strange mix to anypony’s eye. The nurse, DJ and show mare probably would have never even considered crossing paths with one another, never mind me, had it not been for the circumstances that had brought them to this human world. It seemed almost relaxing being around others who could relate to what was happening to me. After all we shared the same problems together. Waking up in bodies that were not our own, and having to face the problems of being a pony in a strange world only meant for these humans. It was a wonder any of us had not been driven insane yet. It wasn't just the large things I could relate to either. I sneaked a glance at the white unicorn as she playfully stuck two straws on her teeth reenacting some sort of story telling walrus. The small musical in the car on the way to the diner was proof I probably had a something I could call a friendly relationship with the DJ, even if Trixie didn't seem to share our taste in music. Still the most perplexing similarity of all had to have been the fact we each had decided to make our own ways to New York. That question alone should have bothered me more than it actually did. None of these ponies, myself included, were among the ranks of the elements but for one reason or another that did not seem to deter each of us from pressing on towards the big apple. Just what did we plan on doing once we got there? I looked at the rest of the group and even to the boys sitting a table away from us. We didn't seem like fighters, if that was what was to happen. But all I could trust was that time would only tell. For now, I was just content with the friendly company. ‘This could even come out to be, fun’ I thought to myself as I sipped the last of my tea, ‘So long as they don't pry and jump the gun.’ Still, as friendly as the other mares had been, there were still some subjects that I didn't want them to delve into. Family problems enough would probably make these ponies at least a bit wary of me, but was hardly a worry if they found out about the other problems I had started to notice over the course of the day. I glanced at the others as I wondered how they would react if they had found out about my unusual personality changes, or the strange thoughts that I had only just noticed since this morning. Would they still be so willing to help if they knew about them? I didn't even have to take a moment to think it over in more than a single sentence. ‘Hell no’. If worse came to worse they’d probably come to the conclusion I was mentally unstable. They’d think I was a mare too dangerous to trust, never mind safe to travel with. The worst part about it though, was all of that could have been true for all I knew. I shook the dark thought back down from the pit it threatened to crawl out of and rejoined the group’s quiet enjoyment. Eventually, like all good things though, the dinner came to an end as we left the diner and returned to Luis’s Prius. It didn't take long before we were back in our old spots in the car. To my great pleasure Enrique and his brother once again found themselves in the hybrid’s trunk. “I don’t know about you guys, but that was one of the best meals I had in a long while!” Vinyl commented as she cleaned her teeth with a toothpick expertly grasped in her magic’s aura. I was still amazed at the ease unicorns could flaunt their magical ability, admittedly almost to the point of jealousy. “Indeed,” Trixie spoke up in agreement, “we had become quite famished from the day’s exertions. It was quite refreshing, some incidents aside.” “Again, Sorry for spilling my drink all over the table.” Red.... Serah managed to speak up quietly from my side. I suppose the whole accident had been overly embarrassing for the earth pony. “Your apology is suitable,” The blue show mare replied casually. “I’m still sorry for not being very skilled, it would’ve been easy to get your cups refilled.” I sighed and inclined my head to Serah and Trixie. The accident with Trixie’s drink earlier at the meal still unnerved me a bit. It was almost as if this “zebra magic” had some sort of mind of its own. It was as if there was a light switch in my head that would flick on and off whenever it wanted beyond my control. One moment the magic would suddenly be there, but it would be gone in the next. What was it the other me had said about control...? “And I’m sorry for not respecting you as a person, Zecora,” the voice of a certain light blue colt from the back announced, breaking me away from my thoughts. I turned my head away from the trunk as I tried to tune out the instant thoughts of what Enrique had implied once again. I glanced to trunk, but didn't bother to say a word. There was still an uneasy feeling about being looked at by a stallion, no matter what the age. But I couldn't understand why, it just felt unnatural to let myself be looked at as just another mare. “Yeah, what Enrique said, but to Nurse Red—Serah,” Pablo was quick to respond to Snip’s apology, saving me from having to make any sort of quick response. “Apology accepted.” Serah sincerely said with a smile. “Just don’t go doing that again. Okay?” I gave the nurse a questioning look as she glanced to the car trunk. I couldn't quite understand how she could be so casual with the colts. “Never again?” a whisper I could only assume was Pablo echoed from the trunk. Trixie was quick in turning to stare the colt down, earning from him an equally small “Okay.” I was thankful that at least Trixie knew how to handle the two young ones. The awkward atmosphere finally was broken as the Prius suddenly slowed and turned. Curiously, I looked out the window seeing a Holiday Inn through the passenger window. “Hey, we’re here.” Luis announced as he turned off the engine, “Merille and I will go in and pay for all eight of us, then we’ll come back and help everyone with their stuff.” I cringed slightly at the prospect of actually entering the hotel. My last stay at one of these so called “inns” had been less... than pleasant. I had stayed at one before while waiting for my sister’s graduation from the state college and found the whole hotel less than impressive by any description. The rooms must have barely been fit to be called habitable. Its curtains and beddings probably had not been cleaned ever since it was opened. Not to mention the fact that the entire place smelled like some sort of suspicious blend up beer and urine. I didn't want to delve further into that though. The worst of it however was the ponies there. I learned quickly at the time that it was uncommon to see a zebra within the Equestrian borders, but the unwelcoming attitude of that inn’s ponies really had surprised me at first. Each of them looked at me at the best of times with a faux smile and hesitant glances when they thought I wasn't looking. At the worst of times I felt only outright resentment and distrust from them. I wasted as little time as I could before I had left that inn and continued on my with my journey to what I eventually found as a home in the Everfree. Of course, that was all long ago... ‘Hold on a second...’ I paused for a moment in thought as I watched Trixie opened the door with a quick spell. The awkward feeling of something wrong came back to me as I thought about the memory harder. I replayed the memory again in my head as I slowly followed Vinyl out of the compact car and onto the asphalt of the parking lot. It was an odd sensation, like reading two different stories from the same book, and at the same time. I was meeting an older sister to watch her graduation, but at the same time, I knew I never had an older sister. I was the only filly in my herd. And why was I going to this mystery mare’s graduation? At the time I had only recently left my homeland and entered the Equestrian borders. It was still quite some time before I had truly made any relationships with my friends of Ponyville, but at the same time I was sure this sister existed somewhere. “Two rooms!” Trixie shouted beside me suddenly, dragging me back to the situation at hoof. I glanced back to the show mare as the two humans nodded to her and walked into the hotel’s lobby. ‘I suppose I’ll just need to think about it later’ I thought to myself as I returned back to the group’s conversation. “Wait.” Vinyl spoke slowly, “Why would we need to get two...” She paused for a moment as her eyes widened in a moment of clarity. “OH! Now I get why!” “Correct, this isn’t Europe,” Trixie trailed off a bit cryptically, earning a confused head tilt from Vinyl and I at the same time. “Don’t need four folks piling into the same bed. Eight into one Prius is quite enough. The question remains, who goes to which room?” “We’ll stick to one room,” the two unicorn brothers spoke in unison as they disembarked from the trunk of the car. I idly glanced at the two. They merely stared at the asphalt under their hooves in a seemingly dejected manner. I breathed in silent relief to those words. The less I saw of those two strange colts, the easier the trip would probably be. “Got the rooms,” Merille called out suddenly, returning from the lobby. He idly twirled two sets of keys in his hand triumphantly as he walked back to our group with Luis in tow “right beside each other as well,” Merille said as he opened the door to retrieve our luggage. _____________________________ Idly, I followed the two humans to the room that we were going to stay at, but I barely paid attention to where I was going. I stared down at the ground intently as I let my thoughts wander on about the contradicting memories. They really made no sense when I compared the two to each other. I remembered the mare that was supposed to be my sister crystal clear, but at the same time, it seemed murky. The more I thought about her, the more the memory started to clear. There was a graduating human in that memory. ‘But, that couldn't have been right’ I thought to myself as I tried harder to remember. The more I thought about it, the more the mare started to become clear to me. I could make out a zebra, amongst the graduating ponies. ‘Yeah... that seems right.’ I thought to myself hesitantly. It made sense, but something about it still bothered me. Luis and Merille stopped in front of me suddenly when they reached a door, breaking me from my thoughts. The moment we made it through the doorway I carefully set my pack down beside the door as Luis and Merille went to the task of unloading Trixie, Redheart and Vinyls’ things down. At first as we unpacked Luis had offered to take my gourd as well, but didn't pursue it as I kept my pack close to my side. It was a small peeve but I still was anxious about others messing with my things. As soon as everyone had unpacked I began to scan the interior of the room. It was your usual setup for a motel room. Two double beds with a night stand between them on the right side of the room, and the bathroom past that. On the left side of the room there was, from closest to the door to farthest, a desk with a chair and phone, a dresser with a television on it, and a table with a coffee maker on it. The carpet was a light shag brown that almost engulfed the bottom of my hooves. The walls were painted beige, and the window was covered with a dark forest green set of curtains. It had all the classic features of a regular inn. I was happy at least this time the room seemed to have been kept up. The door closed as Trixie finally entered the room with us. As soon as everyone had finally settled in Vinyl quickly turned to us excitedly, “Alrighty then! How about this, me and Zeccy got dibs on the bed next to the window, while Trix and Serah get the other bed!” ‘I... well, that was, fast’ I thought to myself as I felt my cheeks went red at Vinyl’s sudden excitement. “Very well.” Trixie nodded to Redheart as she walked by. “Just... no drinking in bed... please.” The earth pony chuckled sheepishly as she nodded in return. I plopped myself down on the bed that Vinyl indicated cautiously and returned my attention to my gourd. With all the madness that had gone on during the day, I finally had time to recharge my Ipad. But just as the thought crossed my mind, Vinyl spoke up again. “You know,” The Dj pony continued on to no one in particular as she sat down beside me and inspected her glasses, “We’re all going to the same place, yet none of us even know our reasoning behind it. We could have all just stayed put and not do anything, yet here we are. So, I just gotta ask, what’s your reasoning for going on this trip?” “And leave solving this situation to that foolish filly, Twilight Sparkle?” Trixie quickly quipped as she shut her eyes and turned her nose to the air, “Please, Trixie does not leave as she closed such things to chance.” I tilted my head slightly as I looked at the show mare again. She really did seem boastful as her reputation preceded. Even with her Ursa Minor fiasco. “I don’t know if I have a part to play.” I began as I started to idly fidget the rings on my foreleg. “I just want to know why I became this way. How this form I had come to obtain, and what must be done to go back again.” I relaxed as the others nodded and returned their attention to Serah. For a moment I was worried that they would not be satisfied with my vague answer. “What about you, Serah? Sounded to me like you just ended up being dragged along by Vinyl.” Trixie asked the nurse as she lifted her head from the pillow she was laying on. Serah shrugged and said, “Well, I before I met Vinyl, I was in a position where I had almost nowhere to go... And I when I told her that I was curious about the whole New York situation, she offered to let me go with them. So, with nothing else to do, I took up on that offer.” “Y tú, Vinyl?” Trixie continued down the line. “What made you decide to travel across the country?” The Dj beside me sat down and thought for a moment before she began to speak, “To get some answers to my questions. ‘Why was it me that transformed?’ ‘Why into Vinyl Scratch of all ponies?’ and ‘How the hell do I change back, if I can at all?’” As if suddenly to break the conversation a ring tone went off in the room causing all of us to look at the DJ. I watched with curiosity as Vinyl suddenly did a double take at the phone as her eyes widened in surprise. “Sorry...” She spoke nervously, “But I have to take this call.” With that she wasted no time to hop of the bed and make a beeline for the door. Trixie got up as she began to walk past Serah, “I need to freshen myself up, in case Vinyl asks when she gets back.” she spoke calmly as she made her way to the room’s single bathroom. Before I knew it I had become the sole resident of the room aside from the white earth pony on the bed across from me. I took a deep breath as I let my nerves calm. So far the talks with the others had gone smoothly. For a couple moments I thought for sure they were going to ask something I didn't want to answer. “Hey. Zecora,” Serah’s voice punched through the silence of the room, “could we talk for a little while?” I looked back to her, seeing her eyeing me again like she had before in the car. I cringed internally under that stare. “Oh, sure that is fine,” I said half heartedly, “what's on your mind?” Something made me feel like I already knew where this was leading, and I knew it would be nothing I’d want to talk to the white nurse pony about. “It’s something that’s been bothering me lately. We all basically said who we were and everything, yet you seemed to have sidestepped everything that was directed towards you.” She continued to glance at me before staring off into space. “Are you sure everything is ok?” I began chewing on my lip as she spoke. As predicted it was the same line of questioning from back on the car. I tried to hide it as I returned my attention back to my rings. “Well, as I told you all at the diner before. Everything in my life has been quite a bore.” I spoke easily, trying to keep impatience of my voice down. “There is no need to have worry or concern. There is not a reason to worry. I’ve been absolutely fine, really.” I tried my best to be convincing, hoping that she’d drop the subject. “Well then, what reason do you have to sidestep every question directed towards yourself?” she asked deadpanned. I took a deep breath as she stared me down. “Sidestepping, what is with all of this fuss,” I said defensively as I began to fidget with one of the rings. “There’s just been nothing to discuss.” “I can tell you’re lying.” She sighed and said in a solemn tone, “Every time that you answered, you never made eye-contact and started fidgeting around. Though, at least tell me what your real name is then.” My ears flattened to the side as I turned back to her. If anything she looked more concerned than before. But it was the question that really confused me. “My name is Zecora, you already know.” my frustration began to seep into my words despite my best efforts to hold the back. “Why you’d ask again, I don't understand though.” I looked at her in confusion. The answer did not seem to please the mare at all as she shook her head. I turned my head away, unwilling to face her again. ‘Why can't you just leave it be?’ I thought to myself. The earth pony was quickly driving my patience with every question that she’d be better off not knowing about. Not even Roger had questioned my name before. I couldn't fathom why that would have been such an issue with her. She gave me a stern look and said, “Not the name of the character you became, but your real name. The name you had from before your transformation.” I looked at her as I tilted my head. My frustration began to mount as I tried to decipher what Serah was getting at. Sure I knew that she was Redheart, but in reality was this Serah. The others had names as well from when they had changed, but I was certain mine hadn’t. There didnt seem to be any others in my memories. My face contorted as I stared at the nurse. I couldn't believe it. Was she mocking me? Everyone had always simply known me as Zecora, from the ponies back in town to my father. I thought back to the moment in my room when he had found me in this body. Even then he had called me by my right name. Something in the back of my mind spoke up before I had a chance to respond to the earth pony. “J...” I muttered under my breath unconsciously before I caught myself. “Zecora, that really is my name... is this some sort of game?” the polite front that I was giving her was now all but gone as I suspicion seethed into my words. She looked surprised at that. “Game? There isn’t any game. I just want to know the name your parents gave you.” My head began to hurt as the more Redheart began to question me. I didn't understand why, the questions were simple, but the more I answered them, they harder they were to think of. So much so that I could swear I was developing a headache. I just wanted it to stop.“Why... is it so hard to believe that’s my name?” I asked defensively as I looked back to the window, trying to avoid her stare. “and even if it was not, I'd still be the same.” She put a hoof on my shoulder as she said, “Well, it would be nice to find out who I’m really talking to, and not just some character from a T.V. show. Besides, I don’t think any mother would name their kid Zecora. Maybe a name like Maria, or Zane, or Jace-” “Thats the only name I have!” I hissed. I quickly knocked her hoof away from me at those names. “Why can't you just leave me alone and accept that!?” It was only after I said it I noticed the shocked expression on her face. It only took another moment to notice the tears that were streaming down my cheek. I quickly turned my back to her again and sulked as I tried to clear my eyes again. The same horrible guilt I had gotten when I had lied to Roger began encompass my thoughts again, if anything it was worse now. I’d just snapped at a pony who was only wanting to help me out. I wouldn't even be in this room to sulk about if it hadn't been for her and her friends. I just sat there and let the feeling encompass me. I was surprised when she drew me into a sudden hug. “It’s alright, we’ve all had a stressful day. It was wrong of me to keep prying like that.” I turned back to stare at the pony who by all means should have been disgusted by me. But what I saw was only sympathy in her eyes. I gave a defeated sigh as I closed my eyes again. I knew I promised myself that wasn't going to tell anyone about my past, but so far Serah didn't seem to hate me. In fact she only seemed worried for me, just like my other self had been in my dreams. ‘I guess she at least deserves to know something..’. “Well... I-” I began before the hotel door slammed loudly causing us both to turn. Vinyl burst in the room looking dejected. Her eyes were bloodshot, as if she were crying. She took a quick look at us and said, “Hey Zecora, Redheart. Don’t bother me, I’m going to sleep.” Something seemed horribly off in the DJ’s manner. Normally for most of the day she seemed lively and a bit bouncy. But the only feelings she seemed to give off now was simply misery. “Vinyl, are... you feeling alright?” Redheart asked, her voice dripping with concern as she left my side. My own problems had been forgotten. It didn't seem to help as we heard an audible snore suddenly erupt from the pillow. “Wow... I... guess she’s a heavy sleeper.” the nurse commented in bafflement. “Girls!” A voice whispered as the bathroom door closed. “You have got to try having a bath! You can actually fit in the tub given how small we are!” Trixie stepped out of the bathroom looking refreshed. “Really? Those tubs were notorious for always being tiny!” Serah whispered with glee, the sleeping DJ now forgotten. “I have to agree, they don't look quite comfy.” I smirked lightly, not wanting to drag down the show mare's enthusiasm as I glanced back to the bathroom door. At least someone had some good news to share since we had gotten to the hotel. So far things seemed to have fallen apart for most of the mares in the room. “I know, but think about it! We’re tiny too now. Might as well take advantage of it.” Trixie threw her hooves in the air much as I always saw her do before. It took me a moment before I caught that memory of her boastfully applauding herself on stage before, yet knowing I had never seen her performance. Serah raised an eyebrow at Trixie before she began to giggle, “Wait, you can actually talk in first-person?” “Well I have to say that it quite a surprise,” I chuckled hesitantly in agreement as I got up from the bed. “you’ve only spoke in third from what I’ve surmised.” “Remember the saying that Einstein did his best thinking in the bathtub?” the show mare asked, earning a nod from myself and Redheart, though I was not sure I knew any Einstein. “Let’s just say I’ve had a bit of a revelation... But I think it’d be better if I told you all at once, tomorrow, when the musical blowhard is awake.” Serah gave a worried glance over to where Vinyl was laying, “Yeah. When she wakes up.” I shifted as I got up from beside Serah, “I agree, but as for me,” I spoke as I hopped off their bed, “I believe its best for me to get some rest.” I took a moment to size up Vinyl’s bed before carefully hopping onto it, trying not to wake my sleeping bunkmate I didn't bother staring back to the other two mares on the other bed as they began to prepare for bed themselves. Instead I simply covered myself up amongst the covers and tried to get some sleep. _____________________________ As the lights had gone out on the other side of the room I tried my best to get some shut eye. After the first hour had gone by however, I found that much harder to do than I expected it to be. I tossed and turned in the bed as I tried to get some comfort, but nothing helped. Nurse Re... Serah’s words still echoed through my mind. “Not the name of the character you became, but your real name. The name you had from before your transformation.” I wasn't sure what she had meant by that. I turned my head against the pillow as I tried to come to any possible conclusion. A transformation... just like the others had gone through. The scenario did sound familiar. I remembered waking up in a house the previous morning. It wasn't my homely hut however, it was my family’s home. I spent the morning trying to adjust to the human world. As time progressed a stallion had arrived to check up on me.... my father. I nodded slightly as I thought about the large zebra. He was always adjusting the large cuff that he kept on his legs. He seemed displeased by something... My mother arrived not long after my father. But the human was hardly as accepting of my return to home. There was a lot of screaming. The thought of having a zebra as a daughter had completely disgusted her. It was that fact that I had decided to leave home. I finally felt my eyes begin to drowse as I settled with those memories. At least I knew how I had gotten here. But just as I let unconsciousness take me back to my dreams, one last thought crossed my mind. ‘Why do I feel like I’m forgetting something really important...’