The Desert Brony sits down at his laptop after many weeks of stressful classes and work. “Alright, time to get this story rolling again!” Turning on the power and waiting, TDB come to the windows logon screen and enters his password. After the computer let him in, TDB navigates to his personal fan fiction folder. Before he could open the current chapter a knock from the door echo’s through his home. “Now who in all of sun and moon could that be?” TDB heads down the hallway to the front door. Opening the door reveals a UPS driver with a rather large cardboard box. “Can I help you?”
The UPS driver looks up from his small handheld device. “I have a package for ‘The Desert Brony’ at this address.” The driver was clearly skeptical about the name.
TDB sighs, only a few people know of his handle as well as his address. “That’s me.” Taking the small device and scribbling his signature, TDB grabs the box and waves the driver off. Once inside TDB kicks the door closed feeling like Applejack for just a quick moment and pushes the box into the living room. “For a box of this size I would have figured it to be a lot heavier.” TDB studies the box in all its plainness. “Why are there no ‘This side up’ markings? And for another matter, which of my friends would go through the trouble of using my handle for a package? On that note, why didn’t they just give it to me in person? Wait… the return address should give me an idea on who sent it!” Glancing at the box yet finding nothing. Not even a barcode. “Ok now I’m thoroughly confused. I guess I’ll find out who sent it after it’s open.”
TDB reaches into his pockets and pulls out a Swiss army knife. After cutting the tape along the sides and top he puts the knife away. Lifting the box’s flaps causes an explosion and showers the room brightly colored confetti. TDB, having been knocked back by blast, watches from his prone position, as all sides of the box drop to reveal pink pony with a darker pink curly mane and tail.
“Oh man, you never know how cramped it is in a box until after you break the forth wall, and do you want to know how much I was to ship in the Royal Equestrian Mail? Forty bits! I could have bought more than two or three baker’s dozen cupcakes with that and still had enough to buy a tri-layered chocolate cake. OH and speaking of cake do you have any? DO YA?!” Even in the real world Pinkie was able to say all of that without taking a single breath, and TDB was pushed back to the floor as the party pony asked him about cake.
“I have cheesecake in the fridge." The words slipped before TDB could register that he even made a response. In a flash Pinkie was out of the room an in the kitchen gobbling down the aforementioned cake. TDB sat there for a moment then yelled. “What The F-“
“Hay, watch the language!” Pinkie cried from the adjacent room.
TDB picked himself off the floor and moved next to the earth pony. “Pinkie, how did you get here?” TDB pauses for a moment before flailing his arms at the earth pony. “On second thought I don’t answer that. Instead tell me how to get to Equestria or better yet just take me back to Equestria with you.” TDB on his knees begging the infamous breaker of the fourth wall with the largest puppy dog eyes he could muster.
Pinkie stared at TDB for a moment and a grin spread across her face. “Sorry noperino to both of those. I had to Pinkie promise the princess that I wouldn’t take any living creature back to Equestria with me or tell them how to get there. And speaking of Pinkie promises…”
TDB smacks his forehead. “Ugg thanks for reminding me. I have too much work and not enough time to do all of it. Tell you what, as I write this next chapter why don’t you inform the readers what has happened so far.”
Pinkie gives a salute with a serious face. “You can count on me!” Pinkie grabs your screen and focuses it totally on her. “Hiya everypony! Because it’s been a loooooooooong time since TDB has written anything, I’ll be giving you all a refresher on just what happened. Front to back, back to front and even upside down!” Pinkie moves from one side of the screen to reveal TDB hunched over his laptop. “This is The Desert Brony, a novice writer who fell in love with ponies around the summer of 2011 and-“
“Pinkie I meant what was happening in the story not my life!” TDB shouts from his desk.
The overly hyper pony giggles at the outburst. “I know that silly, I felt the readers would like to know how you got the idea for your story.”
TDB rubs his temples. “I will do that myself if they ask for it. Now please let me work.”
“Okie Dokie Lokie!” Pinkie moves your screen to the other side of her so you are now looking at a projector screen. As the film begins to roll and fills the screen with pictures, Pinkie starts the recap. “So here we are in the mayor’s office where she is going about her normal day in Ponyville. Her secretary, who is really good at taking notes really really fast, tells her that her appointment is here. And this pony who wants to speak with her is none other than Scootaloo’s long lost father Blazewing! Although he was never lost just no pony from town ever tried to find him, I mean not a single pony volunteered. Anyway he comes in and confronts the mayor about how she never told him of his wife’s death. The Mayor gets scared and allows Blaze to return to town and even was nice enough to give him his house back.” Pinkie stops and takes a breath of air. “The next chapter was all about Scootaloo and how she was sending letters to her father. During school she was soooo distracted about her father coming that she interrupted class and nearly spilled the surprise to Ms. Cheerilee. Right at the last second Blaze breaks the sound barrier and writes Scootaloo’s name in bright orange fire above the school. Blaze agrees to meet Scootaloo and her friends at Sugar Cube Corner after he talks with Cheerilee. He promises Cheerilee that he’ll be a good father to Scoots.”
“The Next chapter is me throwing the best ‘Welcome back to Ponyville party’ for Blaze as he hasn’t been in town for almost ten years! I mean that’s a long time, that’s almost as long as the Cake’s have been in business. So I give him the bestest party I could muster up and he even met my other friends, you know them all. Dashie was stunned that her #1 fan was the daughter of such a famous stunt pony. After the party Blaze takes Applebloom home because he also wants to see his old friend Big MacIntosh! After a big apple family dinner, Blaze and Scootaloo stop by the graveyard to visit Raindancer. But as they leave that night a pony lurking in the shadows is watching their every move. Like some creepy evil stalker, it’s a shame she never uses my evil mustache.” Pinkie puts on her fake evil mustache.
“The next few chapters were all about Scootaloo meeting her father’s other best friend and captain of the team. While she was out of town, the other crusaders were digging up Blaze’s past. A tabloid was dropped next to the carrot stand and Sweetie Belle grabbed it before Applebloom could toss it away. During the big show, Blaze gets into a fight with his captain and then gets injured and is thankfully gets sent back to Ponyville.”
“Now we are at the last chapter and now it is Scootaloo’s turn to dig up her father’s past. With a little help from our most faithful unicorn student, Scootaloo goes to get her mother’s stuff back. The Mayor denies her so it’s up to the Cutie Mark Crusaders to get them back! That is if Rarity hadn’t put up that magical security system or Big Mac hadn’t been up late. So truthfully it was up to Scootaloo to break into the town hall and get them herself. With the help of an old friend of her mother’s, Scootaloo got them. Now I’ll sit here watching TDB until he finishes this next chapter.” Pinkie removes the projector and screen then turns and stares at TDB’s back while pawing at her fake black mustache with her best evil grin. "And if her doesn't finish I'll eat his new batch of cakes"
TDB stops working and turns to Pinkie. "You wouldn't dare." The only reaction was a slightly evil chuckle from the pink pony.