//------------------------------// // The Afterafternoon // Story: A Day In The Life Of Fluffle Puff // by Anal Invader //------------------------------// Chapter Five: I Won't Stand Fur It 2:02 pm: Ponyville Hospital-Infirmary "So, let me get this straight," Nurse Redheart said flatly. "You were taking a walk through Everfree Forest, and out of nowhere, a tribe of trained samurai gorillas surrounded you?" Fluffle Puff nodded vigorously. "Then, they attacked you with spears and swords, but you defeated all of them in a single blow?" Fluffle Puff continued nodding, her nose twitching from the newly-applied band-aid. "Then, as you were leaving the forest, you tripped over a rock and hit your nose, and this is the reason why you are here?" Fluffle Puff gave one final nod. "Are you sure that’s what happened? Are you sure you didn't just tip the vending machine in the lobby over onto yourself, like I saw you do 5 minutes ago? That couldn't possibly be the reason?" Fluffle Puff assumed the stuck out tongue position, completely dissuading any doubts Nurse Redheart had about her statement, except for all of them. She took a deep breath in an attempt to keep her composure. "Fine, what happened doesn't matter. You just stay here in the infirmary while I fill out some paper work in the back, then you're free to go and fight Godzilla or Ironmare or whoever, alright?" Smiling, Fluffle Puff pulled Nurse Redheart in close for a hug, lodging the medical mare's head into her fur. After about 30 seconds of Nurse Redheart struggling to get out of Fluffle Puff's hug, she finally freed herself and began gasping for air. "Fluffle Puff! How many times have I told you not to-...where did my hat go?" She searched the surrounding area until realizing what had happened to it. "Did...did I really just lose my hat in your fur? Celestia's Furry Plot! That is the fourth hat I've lost in there! Ugh, just...just stay here until I come back." Nurse Redheart exited the infirmary room, leaving a blank-faced Fluffle Puff to her devices. She sat on her bed, perfectly content with wiggling her tongue around, when she heard the patient on the other side of her curtain yelling about something. "You call this soup!?" an angry male voice bellowed. "This tastes like something urinated in it! I can't believe you'd try to feed me something like this!" "Sir, this is the standard soup our hospital feeds all our patients," replied an irritated nurse. "Well then your hospital should stop buying swamp water!" He tossed the soup out a nearby window. "Now make me something else. On the double!" With a "hmph", the nurse trotted away angrily. Fluffle Puff, out of curiosity, opened the curtain separating the room to see the tall, angry human known as Dan. Gasping, Fluffle Puff moved onto the bed beside him and blew a raspberry for attention. "What the-...oh, it's you," said Dan. "Can't you see I'm trying to recover in peace here? Frickin' Chrysalis, dropping that big rock on me...and just ‘cause of one tiny bear trap I stuck to her butt. Some ponies cannot take a joke." Without words, as usual, she moved in and licked his cheek, causing Dan to react slightly. "DID YOU JUST LICK ME?! YOU DISGUSTING LITTLE-EWW, YOU GOT YOUR SALIVA ALL OVER MY CHEEK! IF YOU DON'T LEAVE RIGHT NOW, FURBALL, I WILL PERSONALLY CONSTRUCT A CAR WASH AND SEND YOU THROUGH IT!" Discouraged, Fluffle Puff rolled back onto her side of the curtain and began to think of a way to cheer Dan up. She checked the cabinet in her room and found just the supplies she needed... 2:17 pm: No Change in Location Pushing the curtain back, Fluffle Puff strode up to Dan with a drawing in her mouth. Dan glared at her, grinding his teeth. "What did I tell you about going awa-...what's this?" Fluffle Puff gave Dan the picture she had been working on. It depicted Dan with large muscles and a lightning bolt in hand wearing, nothing but a toga. "Wha-psh-the hell-you drew-ah-...not bad. Pretty accurate if I do say so myself-...what are you doing?" Fluffle Puff stuck her face into Dan's and stared him in the eye. Before he could do anything, she booped his nose and rolled back to her side of the room, giggling with glee. Dan growled from the other side, but wasn't really all that angry due to his new stylish picture. Greek is all the rage these days. As Fluffle Puff rolled back, Nurse Redheart re-entered the room carrying some paperwork. "All right, you're free to go now," she said. "Try not to fight anymore 'samurai gorillas', okay?" With a final "ptttf~" to Nurse Redheart, Fluffle Puff was off to go about the rest of her day. Nurse Redheart was just about to start filing some of her paperwork when a fellow nurse burst into the room. "Nurse Redheart!" she exclaimed. "We need your help right now! There's a large group of gorillas wearing armor outside, and they're all hurt. They say they were attacked by what they called a 'vengeful pink goddess' while training in the Everfree Forest. Come as fast as you can." For a moment, Nurse Redheart looked like she was about to explode, but merely took a deep breath. "I'll be there in a moment," she replied to her fellow nurse. The white mare winced as she looked at the growing pile of paperwork on her desk. Letting out a sigh, she trotted out of her room to mend the injuries of an impossibility of fluffy proportions. "Oh, Fluffle Puff, why must you drive me to drink?"