//------------------------------// // Revelations // Story: Ascent. Book 1: Twilight // by viwrastupr //------------------------------// Chapter 2: Revelations Dear Princess Celestia, Sometimes you have to trust your friends, even when you’re not sure if what they’re saying is right. Even when you’re dead sure it’s wrong and you want to bottle up everything and hide it away. When you don’t know what to do and you’re scared and feel alone your friends are there to help. I’ve had some of these feelings for a while now and finally decided to act on them. After a delightful lunch with my dear friend Applejack, she convinced me to say what’s on my mind. With that I’ve come to a conclusion. I am no longer your student. These friendship reports are the one avenue left between us and I would like to continue them, but I don’t see you as a teacher anymore. You are Princess Celestia. We won’t spend our days together in Canterlot with you showing me books, teaching me spells and being together in the library immersed in magical theory. I will miss those days, but they are far behind us. I am a pupil of Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. Nothing more. Your Faithful Friend? Twilight Sparkle P.S. I have something to tell you. Something I’m ashamed of and need to get past. Please, I would really really really appreciate it if you came to the treehouse tomorrow at one hour after sunset for one last visit. I’m sorry. *   *   * The single, ominous knock echoed within the full, yet silent, library. It could only belong to one pony. One Princess. “Hold it!” Dash said, interrupting Twilight moving to answer the door. “Are you sure about this?  I mean, we’ve all got your back, but is this what you want to do?” An apprehensive jitter stilted Dash’s words making her appear more nervous than Twilight. Twilight shared a look of assurance with Applejack. “My feelings won’t stop until I get closure.” She said. With the support of her friends Twilight knew she could do anything, even face a great fear. She opened the door and bowed. A glow of light filled the library as Princess Celestia entered, everypony except Twilight in awe of her presence. “Rise my little ponies,” she bid them. “We’re here for you,” Dash whispered to Twilight. “Let’s do this.” “You have something to say to me Twilight Sparkle?” The room lit with Celestia’s smile, but it felt wrong on her to Twilight, a mask. One last deep breath, then it’s over, she thought. “Princess. We’ve spent a lot of time together. As your student I came to look forward to the evenings we would spend with one another more than anything else. Not only was I spending time with you but you encouraged me to learn and explore all new things and I liked that. I liked the way we would talk together and-” Twilight’s composure faltered. She was unable to meet the Sun Princess’s careful expression. AJ, true to her word, was standing next to Twilight. “It’s okay Twi. We’re all here and that won’t be changing.” Her other friends crowded around her. “Go on ahead.” She sniffled, continuing. “It was amazing. I mean, think of that? The Princess of Equestria taking all that time for me. E-even now.” That nasty stutter returned. “Even now it astounds me.” “My dear Twi-” A raised purple hoof pressed against Celestia’s lips, silencing her. Twilight interrupting her mentor for the first time. She had to get it out; she had to get it all out while she still had the courage. “There’s more,” she said, lowering her hoof. “As time wore on, you sent me to Ponyville, which has been,” a sob stuck in her throat and she looked at her close friends, “the best change of my life.” Smiles responded to her, warming her heart through her teary gaze. “But our friendship didn’t end there. I would write you letters on the friendship I learned, you even came by and talked with me about them or about anything! You have entrusted me with saving the world from the God of Chaos. You have continued to tutor me in the most advanced magics there are.” Parting lips told Twilight that her princess was about to speak, but the goddess held her tongue and nodded, telling Twilight to finish. Confessing to the Princess hurt. It felt as bad as she had feared, but it was also freeing to let loose secrets kept isolated in her heart. “I thought my feelings would change and by being further apart we could develop a professional relationship, but... but you’re in my head. I want to spend my evenings gazing at the stars with you. I want to learn all of magic with you. I want to make you laugh, make you happy. I want to spend quiet days sipping tea across from you.” Slowly it dawned on the other ponies: this wasn’t the gossipy crush of youth, rather Twilight was infatuated with the Sun Princess, and from the sound of things had been so for a very long time. “I... I care for you Celestia.” Twilight wanted to scream it, but her confession came out a whisper. She admitted to herself her feelings, her desires and spoke them aloud. “Not as a student cares for her mentor or a pegasus cares for the sky, but how a pony holds that very special, perfect somepony in her heart.” She couldn’t see through the tears anymore, though she didn’t have to. It was over. Her sobs carried on in silence and without dignity in front of her princess. “I’m sorry,” she murmured. The only sound was the pitter pat of the agonized pony’s tears hitting the floor.   Everypony wanted to go to her to comfort her, but Celestia was first. The Princess opened a wing and took her faithful student into a hug. “It’s okay Twilight.” Celestia was warm. It felt so good feeling her warmth, even if Twilight felt as if she was a million miles away. It was obvious to all the ponies that this hug was an intimate moment. “Um. I think,” Pinkie started. “We should go,” Fluttershy finished. “No.” Celestia’s word was command, always. “Twilight.” The nervous pony pulled herself out of the fluff and fuzz that was her crush’s chest. “I am very old.” Twilight couldn’t help but laugh despite herself. “Well duh,” she said. Her laugh was given a smile from the Princess. “Over the years quite a few students, guards, and even politicians have professed their adoration for me.” Ms. Sparkle nodded, receiving her lesson. Celestia lowered her head to be even with hers and it made Twilight want to do something to the close lips that she should not have wanted to do, she told herself. “It all turns out the same; they fall for with the idea of me, the Perfect Princess.” The Princess said the last with an air of separation. “You are perfect.” Twilight responded. Nods from the other ponies accompanied her sentiment. Celestia rolled her eyes. Her faithful student, the best of a many pupils, was reduced to tears over a mask of perfection. The best of a great many, Celestia considered. Perhaps something she could give to Twilight would cheer the little pony up after all? “Twilight you are right about one thing: you are no longer my student.” “Princess...” Twilight pleaded for it to not be true. The Princess spread her wings, adopting the formal ‘royal Canterlot voice’. “Twilight Sparkle, I hereby declare you graduated from Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, to be given all the rights, privileges, and certifications thereof. Including majors in advanced magical arts and magical theory, with a minor in friendship.” Contrary to her heart’s best efforts, Twilight was smiling. “Though you might be able to pick up a major in that if you continue to write me.” Before she could react Twilight was covered in a hug. Pinkie, Rarity, Dash, everypony but the Princess. It was strange, she had never been happy and sad all at once before. “Thank you Princess, but... that’s not what I want.” Experience told the Princess exactly what Twilight wanted. “You want to be my very special somepony? To stay with me for life?” A thick sarcastic drawl was hard to hold back,  but Celestia didn’t want to hurt Twilight after all. She liked her faithful student, a title that would be hard for the princess to move past, and a callous reaction to her proteges’ confession was the last thing she wanted to do. Surprisingly, Twilight shook her head. “No. I want to be over you. To move on.” That was a wonderful revelation to Celestia, Twilight was truly the best pupil she could remember. She knew exactly what to do. “I have a solution for you my faithful student, but first.” She gestured to the decorations, food and games. “I believe there is a party to get to?” Pinkie Pie’s heart stopped. Was Princess Celestia inviting herself to a party? With them? “Let’s get this party started!” Pinkie shouted. *   *   * The party didn’t go as anypony expected. Fluttershy took Rarity to the dance floor. Pinkie Pie, despite her earlier enthusiasm became lost in thought.  She came to when the cupcakes were passed around, then told a story about her cutie mark that sounded much more like Equestrian history. Applejack showed the Princess how to square dance, while Rainbow competed for her attention with some pony punk. All on her lonesome, as she often chose to be, Twilight spent most of the night resting on the balcony. She’d faced her fear, but her heart still ached. Celestia snuck up on her. “You have a wonderful group of friends.” A cold breeze wafted through the Princess’s hair, making it shimmer in the moonlight. Like star dust, Twilight thought. “Thanks.” Thanks for introducing me to them, for making me come here, for guiding my life. She couldn’t bring herself to move to properly face her heart’s captor. “Get your affairs in order.” Celestia ordered without warning or anticipation. ‘You’re being expelled from Equestria,’ Twilight recoiled, exaggerating Celestia’s next words. Celestia continued. “You are going to stay with me for two weeks to live how I live and see who I am.” Quick breaths, in, out, in, out, calm down Twilight, she hyperventilated, staring at the Princess. Too many shocks in one day was hazardous for a pony’s health. “After that we’ll talk again. If you still have your crush, I will be surprised my little pony.” “O-okay.” *   *   * “Twilight, y’all there?” Applejack called. A crash and a loud bang came from inside the library. “Now what in the hay is that pony doing?” she muttered to her companion. There had been a bang yesterday too and none of it sat quite right with the cowpony. “I think she’s fallen off her bed,” Rainbow responded from above her. “That’s what it sounds like.” A mutter came from Inside the library and Twilight answered her door.  Her mane was a mess, there were circles under her eyes, yet she looked better than the last time AJ had seen her. “Lunch was yesterday, wasn’t it Applejack?” She asked. “Oh... Hi Rainbow.” Under normal circumstances Dash wouldn’t be concerned to go unnoticed. Most earth ponies and unicorns didn’t think to look up to find a pony, but Twilight was usually the first to pick up on her presence. “Of course it was, Sugarcube,” AJ answered. “But I thought I’d ah... return the hospitality.” Applejack nodded to the basket laden with apple fritters on her back. The look on Twilight’s face was one of utmost gratitude. Her friends were there to provide support and it was just what she needed. “Come on in, girls.” Lunch started with a relaxing lack of discussion while they munched on apple fritters still warm from the oven. To Twilight, who had forgotten to eat anything since last night, the fritters were more delicious than she remembered any fritter ever being. A tasty reminder that her friends were there for her. Dash finished off her plate first. She looked to Applejack, then to Twilight, then to the extra fritters. “So...” The extras were shoved aside. She was there for her friend after all. “Why the big hubub yesterday?” Twilight took her time finishing her last fritter so she could have the opportunity to think. Her words had to be just right. “I’ve dealt with this crush for a long time on my own. It’s more of a shame, but its been getting worse lately and distracting me from my studies. I want it to be over with, done, but... I don’t at the same time. It was time for some outside help.” “A mite of this was of my doing Rainbow,” Applejack interjected. “I told Twilight to spill her feelings, though I didn’t rightly think it would be the Princess.” “How could it not be her?” Twilight asked. “I’m surprised nopony else has fallen for her. How do you sit through a three hour lecture on magical binding properties and not feel light headed?” Dash pulled on her eyelids, the thought of such a thing pushing her to sleep. “The Princess talks... for three hours?” “Yes!” Twilight exclaimed. Upon seeing Dash’s grimace she thought perhaps she was a little biased. But there were more realistic reasons that she liked the Princess. “She also... She’s always treated me like a friend, Rainbow. She’s not the cold, calculating ruler that most ponies take her for.” Her friends looked at her like she had said the sun raised independently of the Princess. It meant too much to Twilight to let this go. “The Princess puts up different masks for different audiences: perfection, teacher, even manipulative. But as she’s instructed me Celestia has let  these masks down for me. She’s given me nuzzles, hugs, even playful jostling. She thinks about my feelings before acting and I know she knows we’re close.” “This is the Princess we’re talking about Twi,” Applejack pointed out. “Are ya sure you’re remembering things quite right?” She let out an exasperated snort. “Yes!” “No offense Twilight, but this doesn’t sound like any Princess I know,” Dash said. “AUGH!” Twilight wanted to roll her eyes, stick out her tongue and facehoof all at once. What came out was the grumble of a tired pony. The arguments Dash and AJ presented were the same ones she had tried to use on herself time and again. “I know what you’re thinking,” Twilight said. “She’s the Princess, but that’s not how I see her. I know it should be, but this crush isn’t letting me think straight and now I have to spend two weeks with her and I don’t know how I’m going to do it without making everything worse.” The unicorn’s face tightened up again, relaxation lost as the worry of the last day returned. “What am I going to do?” This was Applejack’s cue for advice, but surprisingly Rainbow was the first to chime in. “Pfft. You’re Twilight Sparkle, what’s the assignment ‘stay two weeks with the Princess’ going to do to you?” “Assignment?” Twilight’s eyes lit up. Assignment! “Rainbow Dash you’re a genius!” That was it! All she had to do was focus on the task at hand and stay with Princess Celestia. She could set aside her goal of getting away from the crush because, after all, that was the Princess’s goal too. Twilight caught Dash in a warm embrace. *   *   * Three days later The wind was oddly silent in the pegasus chariot that carried Celestia and Twilight to Canterlot. “Twilight, there are going to be a few rules.” Celestia looked ahead while she spoke. Caught in rapt attention, Twilight prepared her mental checklist. “First, you are not to leave my side for more than a bathroom break. Second, you are to call me Celestia. Not Princess, not Princess Celestia, don’t avoid my name either, not Sun Goddess, not Angel or Head of the Seven Armies, not highness or her royal anything. None of those.” Twilight’s rapidly increasing heart beat let her know she would be more than willing to follow these rules. “Hm... Maybe princess fluffybutt.” An unsure laugh came from Twilight. It was met from a glare of disdain from Celestia. “That’s another thing. Third, no more formality. No bowing, worshipping, or hiding your laughter. Chide me when I do something wrong, question me when I do something strange and call me out when I’m cruel or lying.” Twilight couldn’t believe what she was hearing: the Princess, cruel? There was no way in Equestria she could be mean spirited. “Fourth: no doting. I know you’re crushing but don’t treat me like an object. I still have my own mind.” A perfect one, Twilight thought. “What’s more...” She isn’t done. Dear Celestia, she isn’t done! Twilight’s mental list was expanding faster than she’d anticipated, but she could keep up. She had to keep up: it was her assignment. Celestia’s words continued to come with the dry tone of a memorized speech said many times before. “I will be using you as a diary of sorts and as such you’ll be more privy to more expressions, more thoughts and more reactions than anypony but Luna. This means two things: that you must react to these and treat me like any other pony and you must also keep the moments that would embarrass the crown a secret.”   Everything so far on Twilight’s checklist would have contradicted the idea of ‘Princess Celestia’ to any common pony, but all of it appeared normal to her. When will the ‘see who I am’ secrets be revealed? she wondered. In the meantime there was a pattern in the rules she was curious about. “Pr- Celestia?” “Yes, diary?” Celestia still wouldn’t meet her eyes, always looking ahead. The nickname made her twitch, but she let it pass for the moment. “These rules are things that a crush would want to do.” Celestia smiled. “Exactly, my faithful student, the point is to show you how uncomfortable it becomes for you as you get to know me. After enough time with me, we’ll see if your crush remains.” The Princess’s expression changed from manipulation to realization. “Another rule, Twilight. Please continue your letters on friendship as you reside here.” “I will Pr-” “They keep me sane when I preside at court alone.” Celestia interrupted, shuddering. Does court affect her that much? Twilight questioned. The ever majestic Canterlot loomed before them, their vessel slowing. Celestia turned to her diary. “I expect these to take a while to internalize for you, but I don’t think it’s too much to ask for you to do that quickly. You’ve always been a quick study.” Twilight melted at the compliment, but another pattern tickled the back of her brain. Ever since picking her up Celestia had been treating her differently, an object at some moments and a pupil at others, but never the friend that Twilight remembered. Perhaps she was imagining things. Celestia could never forget their friendship. *   *   * When they were teacher and pupil Twilight and Celestia would sit across from one another outside a Canterlot cafe, sipping tea and eating scones. It brought back memories to Twilight to be doing at a Canterlot cafe, eating across from her crush, though the Princess had ordered for her and was oddly silent. So far her feelings hadn’t died down, and she tried to think very hard about how interesting the grass was right at that moment instead. Not the wind or how it was blowing through Celesita’s, through her, mane or the light and how it glinted off those mischievous eyes or the fact that she had just spent the last half hour walking directly behind her avoiding muscle studies. “One more thing,” Celestia said between sips of peppermint tea, her eyes closed in regality. More?! Room in her mental list was running low. “You will call me Tia at least one third of the time, adding additional instances for each time you slip up and call me Princess or submit to formality or timidity.” “Tias are equal to one third of all name calling plus one for each mistake: Check!” Twilight grinned, the math a welcome addition, easy to memorize. Ah, Celestia took in her ‘pupil’s’ reaction, she thinks it an assignment? Twilight Sparkle: ever the student after all. *   *   * “Now Twilight, we are about to enter Canterlot court.” The great hall’s doors towered above them, Celestia instructing her ‘pupil’. “Spend the whole time looking at my face, don’t listen to the pleasantries or hear the words, look at my expressions.” “Yes Cel-” Twilight began. “Oh! And sit at my right side,” Celestia interrupted. ”They will hate that.” The large stone doors swayed open, guards flanking either side of the pair as they made their way forwards. Twilight was in awe, nodding at the representatives from all of Equestria as they sat around a large horseshoe shaped table. A magnificent pair of thrones stood at the center, Princess Luna sat on the left one, waiting. Looking at her crush’s face and watching the ethereal breeze blow through her hair proved to be a greater distraction than sitting in Canterlot court for the first time. Was it getting hotter? Twilight shifted awkwardly. As the court progressed she noticed something almost unexpected. Celestia’s regal appearance was a façade, the whole thing a show to keep up her royal duties. She reached this conclusion because Princess Celestia was making very subtle faces the whole time and while boredom was the most dominant there was the occasional eye roll or amusement hidden within the stoic mask. She broke the rules and hid her laughter as best she could. A magistrate asked for what was much too much money for a project and Celestia’s tongue entered her cheek while the Princess made a sardonic grin. Twilight snickered. When her glance strayed to Princess luna Twilight saw there was more to it. Luna was responding to the subtle expressions with her own grins, squints and little shows of laughter. It was a game! To anypony further than a few feet away  there were two composed rulers. The Princesses listened to their subjects, gave out decrees, and ran the kingdom. To the impromptu right hoof to the Sun of Equestria, Twilight Sparkle, there were two joking sisters who played games and made fun of politics in general. There’s my princess, she thought. It surprised Twilight to find out that Princess Luna was the more playful of the two, going as far as making impressions of a pony’s blowhardiness with mild gestures of her limbs and puffing out her cheeks. Princess Celestia would make expressions, but do little else. Her faces always had her playful humor about them, never insulting but often teasing and silly. Three can play at this game, Twilight challenged herself. A pony asking for special tax exemptions came next and she nodded at his request, and nodded and nodded, playing on his overeagerness. Luna caught on and did the same, tongue puffing out her cheek ever so slightly. The royal duties were carried out and the Sun Princess regretfully denied his request, but in the interim she gave Twilight a look that was incredibly complex. If ‘I am going to have so much fun and you will regret it terribly’ could be bottled it would be that look. Twilight smirked, happy her challenge was accepted. Bring it on. Celestia. A reasonable irrigation request was received next thus no special or exciting expressions came to the trio, though Luna did make a whistling face. With the next few ponies court passed with them continuing the game as before, but with the addition of Twilight playing off her mentor’s faces and giving reactions of her own. At first Celestia looked to be ignoring her, but after a well timed cough calling out an obvious lie, the Princess let loose a subtle smile. The last speaker presented a unique opportunity. She was a female model asking for a private audience. Luna responded with a confused, ‘how did she get in here?’ look and Celestia’s answer was to make an ‘O’ shape with her lips. Wait. O... Twilight thought, What does that- OHMYPRINCESS! She couldn’t hold back this laughter and it’s force caused her to roll around on the floor. Celestia was impressed that her student wasn’t blushing at all to be acting like a foal in front of all the political minds of Equestria. Despite the Princess’s best efforts Twilight was not regretting her decision to join in nor the revelation that court wasn’t serious. Celestia considered that Twilight might be spared further embarrassment if she ended court and her heart relented to the idea. “Court is dismissed.” Celestia said. The representatives shuffled out of the hall, many giving scornful looks to her pupil. She would have to deal with them later. Twilight may have been acting unprofessional but no one insulted her student in her court. A loud cracking of joints derailed Celestia’s train of thought. Luna had stepped off her throne and stretched as if she had been there for a thousand years. “I wasn’t aware you were inviting guests dear sister.” She gave Twilight a courteous nod. “She is my journal, of course.” Celestia responded. Twilight squinted. The friend she thought she had regained in their silly antics had once more vanished. This mask was the tired ruler, she recognized. “Another crush?” Even after hundreds of years, Luna knew the routine. The alicorn bent down to inspect Twilight closer, worry on her face. “Twilight Sparkle. I am sorry for what you’re about to go through.”  She gave her sister a look that was difficult to read. Was it pity? Twilight couldn’t tell. With court finished, Twilight put a mark on her mental assignment. Spend time with the Princess step 1: check. *   *   * Books were piled on books piled on books making Celestia’s private study look smaller than it was. It didn’t help that entire shelves were stacked together, as much as four bookcases thick, encasing the room in copious volumes of inaccessible literature. Adding to the mess in piles and corners were knickknacks and parchment. To Twilight the room looked more like a nest than a study. Twilight crossed the threshold and was hit by the scent of dust and books. She inhaled with an acquired appreciation of the strange smell. “Princess- er. Tia. How long has it been since your study was organized?” Celestia’s chest puffed up in bravado. “It’s plenty organized,” she lied. “Uh-huh.” No it isn’t. “I know where everything I want is. Also, that hesitation counts as a slip up.” Celestia let loose the snare to her mental trap. “Tell me what you’re thinking.” She had known Twilight would be put off by her mess, and the little pony choosing to hide her reaction rather than be open was another sign of her worship. “Well T-t-tia.” Twilight had a hard time getting the nickname out. Fantasies where she called the Princess Tia had played in her mind, but they didn’t go at all like this, especially since there wasn’t an abacus around. “Judging by the level of decay, the status of the magic preservation enchantments and the style of the shelving, I would make an approximate guess and say it’s been 1,700 years since this room had anything resembling organization performed on it.” “Hmm,” Celestia paused. “I do think you’re ri-” “-and Luna was the one to do it.” Twilight’s jab at her ego stung. She is enjoying this! Celestia thought, glaring at her pupil. The purple smirk in front of her was teasing her into reconsidering the ‘treat me like any other pony’ rule, but perhaps that was Twilight’s intent, she reasoned. To make Celestia uncomfortable so Twilight might go back to worshipping the ground she walked on. She scowled internally. She would not be bested by a mere mortal. “Then clean it,” Celestia commanded. “Can I!?! Oh please oh please oh please, yes yes yes!” Twilight started bouncing in a whirlwind around her, her merriment the exact opposite reaction than Celestia expected. The Princess had to hide a giggle. Of course Twilight would enjoy organizing books. “Yes.” Celestia once again relented to giving in to Twilight over her original intentions, her scowl replaced by a gentle smile. “If you wish my faithful student.” “I.” Twilight stopped and faced her to put on an air of sophistication, as much as she could with her tongue sticking out. “Am a graduate.” She bounded off like a foal, ending just short of making a literal dive into a book pile to instead raise it with magic and begin storting. “Oh. Right. Yes.” The tinge of embarrassment in her cheeks was unfamiliar to Celestia. There was more embarrassment when between books and spells she caught glances, stares and outright lust-filled gazes towards her from her former pupil. Twilight was picking apart whole bookshelves and rearranging piles by Canterlot standard as if it was her chosen duty in life, however that didn’t stop her from continuing to dote, Celestia thought. Princess Celestia sighed. She had hoped Twilight’s crush on her had moved on over the years. Of course she knew of it since day one. When first the little filly blushed at Celestia’s presence  she saw the aching heart beneath. She had been working hard to try and show Twilight little truths about the harshness of immortality, her position, and her personality that would hopefully drive the filly away. Still Twilight persisted with emulation, constant giving of attention and seeking of approval. Over the years theirs had moved beyond a teacher and pupil or even mother and daughter relationship. Twilight responded to her lowering her barriers by working harder to impress Celestia in study. Always more work to do, more things to learn. It gave Celestia great pause to consider: did Twilight work for herself or to impress Celestia? The Princess dreaded that what Twilight did, she did for her royal highness. “Praise the sun and better thyself,” Celestia repeated the motto of an earlier Equestria. “What was that?” From behind the walls of floating books came a hopeful query. “Get me Mryrryth’s Guide on 7th Level Spells and Magicks.” Celestia covered her out loud reminiscing with the subject of her daily studies. An unfamiliar, dusty tome floated towards her from the ever increasing torrent of books. “It’s a first edition.” Came Twilight’s answer before she asked. “Much more thorough.” “Yes.” Celestia smiled. Silly Twilight. Silly, analytical, smart and helpful Twilight. *   *   * The pool at the luxury spa was the best place for gossip in Rarity’s opinion and if she wanted to know exactly why Fluttershy had made her little outburst the other night this was the time and place to do it. It may only have been the word ‘darn’, but Rarity knew Shy wasn’t the type of pony to say things lightly. Well, she said everything lightly, but there was weight behind her words. “You can’t mean you want to date Twilight?” Rarity asked. Fluttershy fiddled with a lock of hair. “Well...” “Don’t you think you two would make a cute little couple?” Maybe she was jumping to conclusions too fast but, really, they would. “Um... actually... Rarity.” “Ooo. I could make you matching outfits! It would be just darling.” “Rarity.” “Little maroon hats and booties you could wear in winter.” Unabated and unaware of Fluttershy’s quiet interruptions, the unicorn continued imagining what she could do for the potential couple, throwing herself far off track. Fluttershy dropped the subject, resigning to being shipped. For the moment. She knew there was always a time and a place for her to speak her mind to Rarity, regardless of the unicorn’s gossipy nature.  Rarity would listen well when Fluttershy chose to speak. The ‘luxury treatment’ that Rarity always insisted on included a full body massage and while Fluttershy was skittish about it, it felt too good to pass up. On the table and covered in a nice warm blanket the knots and tension were churned away with caution and care. Fluttershy relaxed and melted at the experience while Rarity’s desire for conversation ebbed away and a blissful silence passed between them. Shy’s thoughts turned back to Twilight. “I don’t think I want to be with Twilight,” she explained. “It would have just been, I mean... nice... to be liked like that.” A particular tight wing muscle released and she sighed. “Aww.” Rarity cooed. With the mystery revealed, a little push in another direction was necessary to bring out the relationship secrets from Fluttershy. “I wouldn’t worry about it dear. You’re just the type of pony to attract a nice gentlecolt. Didn’t you have a number of suitors while you were modeling for Photo Finish?” “Oh... well... yes,” Shy remembered, though it wasn’t pleasant. “But that was different. They were there for model Fluttershy, not crushing on... on me.” “How long has it been since someone... you know?” The gossip side of the mare came out to play. “Oh,” Shy balked, “I-I don’t want to talk about it.” “Pleeeeeeeeeeaasssssssse?” Rarity pouted. “Not. At. All.” Shy laughed. Someday she would tell Rarity more about her love life, but not today. *   *   * The once crowded study was now open with space, bookshelves arranged in a circle around a central point. The sparse furniture had been brought together into a personal study area and any book Celestia could want was cataloged and coded to exact Canterlot standards. She had to admit: this was much better. “Not bad,” she said. Twilight beamed. “Oh, and here’s the best part.” Celestia was guided to an ancient stone shelf where tomes and scrolls predating the library and Equestria were arranged by topic. “The rare book collection,” Twilight proudly introduced. “Um... I’d like to borrow a few of these, if you don’t mind.” Something in the lower right caught the Princess’s eye. “I see your scrolls on the magic of friendship made it here.” “Yes, about that...” Twilight blushed. “There isn’t a category in Canterlot standard on magic and friendship.” Her hooves worked over one another in nervous apprehension. “They didn’t fit in your study materials either.” “It’s okay.” Celestia offered a regal smile. Was the friend back? Twilight dared to hope so. “But they belong in my studies.” Gingerly, Celestia took them in her mouth and placed them in a desk drawer next to her paperwork on the ongoings of Equestria. “They really do keep me sane.”  The caution and care the Princess took into moving her letters by mouth touched Twilight, but this wasn’t her friend. This was a tired ruler, a Princess separate from her subjects. No doting, Twilight reminded herself. No doting. No doting. Grahh! “W-why’s that Celestia?” “Because.” Celestia’s rump hit the ground with a thud. She motioned for Twilight to join her. Studies of new drainage and architectural systems lay arranged in front of the two, but though the alicorn’s eyes lit upon them, it was as if she was looking through them. “It’s hard to remember.” Celestia sighed. “Being an immortal is the strangest experience. There’s no preparing for it.” Her words were heavy with age. “Come.” She teleported, taking Twilight with her by force. Unwilling and unprepared teleportation was not a pleasant experience. Twilight awoke dizzy, disconcerted and with a feeling of being ripped from her own body. They landed upon a tower balcony that overlooked the looming sunset. Treat her like any other pony, Twilight reminded herself. “Ow. I’m sure you know what you’re doing but...  that hurt. Tia.” Celestia didn’t show notice or care about the pain she inflicted, instead watching the sunset. “When I was born, I knew everything.” Celestia’s horn lit with a magical glow, though she acted apathetic, the sunset ritual separated from her actions. “Or at least I thought I did.” A gentle nuzzle surprised and tickled Twilight with irradiating magic. Celestia was apologizing for her earlier discretion, the unicorn hoped, and not seeking hollow affections. “I had facts and figures. I knew everpony’s name and the layout of the world. The great works of art and literature were all there within me in stories, myths and histories. I knew the status of the world and-” The magic built up, cascading in gentle waves against Twilight. “When I got my cutie mark I ‘knew’ how to raise and lower the sun.” With a flash from Celestia and the setting sun, the night appeared. The Princess turned and walked into the room behind them. Twilight followed, eager to learn the rest of her lesson, but taken aback by what else she saw. They were in Celestia’s private quarters, but barely anything was there. Just a pair of bookshelves, a bed, a mirror, and a private bath. She couldn’t even find Philomena’s cage. The architecture’s brilliant ornate stonework stood in stark contrast with the plain furnishings. “I lived my first years much as any pony would,” Celestia continued, hunching over. She discarded her regalia, tossing the objects with disdain. “I played, I laughed, and I loved.” Her eyes squinted shut. “Oh how I loved.” Any other pony would nuzzle her right? Twilight thought, That’s the thing to do. Yes. Twilight leaned against her and nuzzled her neck with care. “You never love with the same passion as you do the first time Diary. Enjoy this fulfillment, this trust, while you have it.” Celestia returned her nuzzle with mechanical politeness. Her words were close, intimate even, but she was talking to her diary, not her friend. Though it hurt, Twilight would listen. She would take her assignment. “I don’t remember his name, but I remember his laugh and it was hearty and full all to the end,” She sighed deeply, reliving what she could. “When he passed it hurt like nothing ever hurt. In most lives that is the end, but such is not the fate for an immortal.” The last words were spat out like spoiled food. “Soon everyone passed. Friends I had known all my life faded away before me while I remained. Before I could blink no one could remember me as a child. No one could remember a time without a sun.” She crawled into bed, mane deflated and unkempt. “Princess,” “That’s Tia,” it was a plead for a forced affection. A welcome comfort, if meaningless. “Tia.” Twilight’s whole heart was in the word and she hoped the Princess felt better for it. I had no idea. I didn’t think. I’m stupid and foolish. “I-I-If ARGH.” She cursed her stutter. “Three more ‘Tia’s’ dear.” Though her voice held on to her pride, Celestia’s body collapsed into the blankets. “You’re getting bad at this.” Twilight sat at her tired ruler’s bedside. She wanted nothing more than to hold Celestia, to brush her hair and tell her everything was going to be okay, regardless of the immortality’s endless truth. “If you tell me about it, I’ll remember Tia.” Celestia stared. Didn’t Twilight understand? Was her worship so blind that she would still consider Celestia her princess even after this? “Stop loving me.” “No.” “You will.” The chill in her words made Twilight shiver. Sleep, not conversation became Celestia’s immediate priority and she covered herself in blankets to prove it. The younger pony sat and thought. Immortality was a burden. When Celestia became attached to other ponies she was setting herself up for inevitable loss. The faces changed, friends died and Celestia's attachment would be replaced by empty bitterness. No matter how much Celestia cared for Twilight or could want to be with her the joys would end. Is that what she meant by those final, cold words? Twilight thought. That I’ll stop loving her when I die? The thought hung like a stone in Twilight’s heart. Immortality means being abandoned by everyone. Absolutely everyone. Celestia lay still in her bed succumbing to sleep, but Twilight couldn’t bring herself to give in to the same luxury, instead taking a single grand hoof into a hug. “I’m here Celestia.” I may be gone tomorrow, but today... “I’m here.” She would hold on as long as she could. To heck with the crush, what Celestia needed was a friend. *   *   * A contrast of cold and warmth met Celestia as she awoke. Her left foreleg had been displaced, exposing her arm to the open air, but at its hoof sat a purple pony wrapping the hoof in a hug. Twilight was chanting something under her breath that Celestia couldn’t make out. “All night?” Celestia asked, startling her hoofwarmer. “Yes,” Twilight confessed. The strangest look met her eyes, a mix of contempt and pride warring for position in Celestia’s visage. Her chest suddenly felt colder as Celestia took back the hoof, the morning cold she had been standing in finally catching up to her. She shivered. “No rest makes for an unwary diary.” Celestia rose, her royal mask donned once again. Why does Celestia hide herself from me? Twilight asked herself. I don’t ask to be with her... just be here like she assigned and to be a friend like we’ve always been... Like I think we’ve always been. Am I wrong? “I will raise the sun.” Her regalia replaced, the Princess advanced to the balcony. “Take my bed. The guard will alert you to my location when you wake and I trust your rest will not be excessive.” Celestia’s words hid a hypocritical bite, the suggestion of trust lost with the command of her intonation. “But, Tia.” “No more Tia’s Twilight. Only Celestia.” Twilight felt weak, another avenue of closeness turned off to her. Royal Celestia was here to stay, her friend long gone. “I expect your best this afternoon.” “Yes, Celestia, but I want you to kno-” The sun incarnate rose, taking flight. I want you to know that I just want to be your friend. Twilight stared after her long after she passed. I’m sorry I love you.