//------------------------------//
// Chapter 13-Recovery and Remission 
// Story: Darkside Equestria: Redemption and Resurrection 
// by DarksideEquestria 
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	It has been a while since my last entry, more than two weeks now. I believe you may be interested in what happened after I was left lying on the ground, as sure to die as the sun was sure to rise. It always rises now, doesn’t it? It is possible that it chose not to rise on one of the days I was asleep, I suppose. Was I asleep or was I comatose? I’m still not sure what I should call it. The last thing I remember from the whole fiasco was waking up in the hospital, barely able to breathe. There really wasn’t a whole lot of their regular equipment they could use on me, mainly because I have so much extra mass that I simply can’t fit into some of the stuff they use. 

I was lying there on the stretcher, ponies with red crosses and white crosses surrounding me taking notes they called, “diagnostics,” and the longer it went on, the more frightened I became. While they were moving me through the halls of the hospital my head began spinning, and a high-pitched tone filled my ears. We eventually came to the Everfree Forest. The place smelled like meat, raw meat, and heard one of the doctors say my name. I looked over at them, and all of the doctors and nurses and other patients looked very much like insects. Black cockroaches, flies in the shape of ponies. All of them were smiling at me, and some of them were even laughing and pointing. 

We came to an abrupt stop, and as suddenly as it all began all was back to normal. We were in the operating room; nurses and doctors arguing back-and-forth about what to do about me. I think some of my friends were there with me too, because I think I heard Rarity’s worried voice in the background. The professionals had finally made a decision. I think they tried to explain it to me, but my head was wonkier than usual. Blood loss, no doubt. They tried to put me to sleep, but the mask couldn’t fit over my face. They were able to inject me with anesthetic, but my decorations made this difficult and by that time I could see the doctor mouth the words, “Forty percent blood loss and falling...”

One of them made the final decision, and Rarity must have known, because she was standing by my side trying to comfort me. Nurses and surgeons were crowded around me, and to my confusion they began to saw away at the braces on my legs. Soon the metal struts swung free, out of the way, and I felt a great pressure relieved. Strangely there was little pain. I could feel the blade in my leg, but it didn’t hurt. Then the head surgeon got a hold of the hunk of metal in my leg, counted to three, and yanked on the blade. I felt a tremor go through me; a response to the almost immeasurable pain I would have been feeling were it not for the shock. I screamed anyways, and Rarity stepped away.

My vision flashed again, I saw the flies, the insect ponies in the forest again, and their ringleader had just nailed a very large and corroded nail into my leg. I blinked and the creatures disappeared, the forest now gone. Apparently, the blade only came out a few inches, and it was in deep. My body was creating a vacuum in the wound, holding the blade in place. The doctor looked grimly at his assistants, counted to three again, and suddenly a spike of pain broke through the haze of shock bringing with it a burst of adrenaline. With the next shout I could hear the windows vibrating in their panes, my voice bringing them to the verge of shattering. My eyelids slammed shut and splintered, and through their broken shards I saw the changelings and the forest again; the ringleader had hammered the nail again and was shrieking with laughter. He pulled back for one final tug, and this was the most painful of them all. I screamed with such volume that the windows broke in the operating room. The changelings had delivered one final blow with the hammer, and were rolling on their backs laughing, the nail sunk all the way into my leg. My view stabilized and the hospital room faded back into existence. I felt the open wound exposed to the cold air, stinging and bleeding. Even I wasn’t sure what had happened, but the last thing I saw was thankfully real. Rarity was crying over me, I could see her face as my eyes began to close again.


During what I believe is the time I was out, I had only a single nightmare. It was surprisingly short, but it chilled me to the core. At first I saw flames, a sickly emerald green, but from their burning depths stepped a face that was all too familiar to me. Chrysalis. She was looking down on me, first with disgust, and then she chuckled and smiled a grotesque smile that distorted her whole face. Two figures joined her. I didn’t need to see their faces to know who they were. Seething Mass and Barnabus Thom. Seething Mass appeared to be decaying like the corpse he was, his face impassive at first then bent into a smile that ripped the skin. Barnabus, as per usual, removed his hood to reveal his grotesque and horrifying metal mask, the iron teeth pointing in every direction in a horrid and putrid grin. They all started laughing at me, Barnabus was spraying me with metal teeth that were falling from his mask, and Seething Mass was coughing out dust. My chest seemed to tear, and I asked them, “Why are you doing this to me? What have I done?” in the most defeated, miserable, and pathetic voice I had ever heard. There was no reply except for their continuing laughter. Strips of skin were ripped from Seething Mass until he was just bones, cracks spread through the iron skin of Barnabus Thom, and both were still as Chrysalis leaned forth to whisper in my ears. “Oh Tor, your crime is that of innocence.” She let out one final cackle and the three of them collapsed into dust. Then the dream was all over.

I woke from my dream immediately. When I came to, I was in Rarity’s boutique, on Rarity’s bed surprisingly. I slowly arose from my position, being careful not to make too much sound, my head was hurting and my eyes were dry and stung. As I moved my leg again, I felt the pain I expected, drawing my eye to the appendage. I stared at it for a moment, examining the cast in detail. It had been signed by my friends, even the Cutie Mark Crusaders had written their names. That made me smile. As for the rest of my injuries, there were stitches in my leg and scars and cuts and bruises and all manner of unpleasant sights. I had shakily gotten to my hooves but right as I put pressure on the hoof of my injured leg, I fell to the floor. Rarity in her worry must have honed her senses, because she heard the din from downstairs and came up to check on me. She, with much effort, got me back up and helped me back into her bed.

“Please, Tor, stay in bed. The doctors said you needed to rest for quite a while when you woke up.” I now got a good look at her. Her mascara was running, and she looked as ragged as though she had just been trampled by a stampede. I wasn’t going to tell her this, of course, but it saddened me to see her in this state.

With the small amount of strength I had, I tried to sound as normal as possible, “Why, Rarity, why is it that whenever I wake up in your house, you’ve always been taking care of me instead of your own needs?” My voice was weak, and Rarity noticed. She was miserable. I lifted myself slightly and embraced her, because it was the only thing I thought would be of help. “Because I love you.” She replied in-between sobs. She brought me some food that she and Sweetie Belle had prepared for me. The doctors had apparently told them to be sure I ate a lot so I could have a lot of energy to regenerate my lost blood. I ate a single meal and told them I was unable to eat any more, but they stuffed me full of even more food. I slept a lot more that day. When I was awake, I drank a lot of water. I caught a glimpse of my face in the silverware they brought to me. I was looking ghastly and pale. The parts of my face that weren’t covered in the mask were sagging and tired, and my eyes were red and bloodshot. I still could barely lift my injured leg. Rarity gave me a crutch to use and the doctors had it reinforced with steel so I wouldn’t break it. 

In two days, I was out of the bed and Rarity took me straight to the hospital every day. We went through basic physical therapy, they helped me stretch and rotate the damaged joint. Eventually they had me on a special treadmill to help me regain my strength, and in an unprecedented two weeks I was, for the most part, back in working condition. My earth pony magic allowed my injury to heal in record time, but the doctors told me I would probably have a limp for the rest of my life. When I asked about Seething Mass, Rarity just shook her head. Apparently Applejack had went out the one day to discover that Seething Mass had just left, without a trace and without telling anypony where he was going. 

The doctors and Rarity told me that I really needed to get to a more open space today. Applejack offered to help rehabilitate me at Sweet Apple Acres, and I was happy to take that offer. The town has started feeling too small for me. Whenever I would go out I had ponies staring at me, the once great and powerful Tor Ironwill, now reduced to using crutches and having to be escorted by Rarity everywhere.  I don’t really mind having Rarity around me all the time though, because she’s able to distract me from the rest of the place with what’s on her mind. Females are very complex, I unfortunately am very much the opposite, and yet Rarity doesn’t seem to have any trouble explaining to me what she’s talking about, and I think that’s why she’s able to keep me so nicely distracted from everypony else.

This morning, as was the plan, we met Applejack at Sweet Apple Acres. She took me down to her field so I could get some exercise while she and Rarity watched over me in case I got hurt. I was pretty much free to roam wherever I wanted as long as I told them where I was going. I really wanted to run to the other end of the orchard and back, but I couldn’t run yet with this crutch, so I had to be satisfied with trotting around in circles for half an hour. There are many activities in this life that are so monotonous that even the most mundane of objects will seem interesting in comparison, and this was one such activity. After what seemed like an eternity of exercise, I noticed a small, very ramshackle, run-down shed near the spot where Applejack and Rarity were standing and watching me. Something about it sparked something in my memory that I just couldn’t place no matter how hard I tried. I told my supervisors that I wanted to go and take a look and they continued to talk, they didn’t seem to notice where it was that I was going.

The shed was, upon closer inspection, very dusty and rotting, appearing barely to be able to stand upright. The door was hanging loosely on its hinges and its corners scraped on the dirt as I opened it. I was in a kitchen. Everything seemed gray and dull in there, even the light that was passing through the multitude of knotholes in the walls. There were a large amount of mechanical components lying about, but not all of them seemed as though they belonged to farm equipment. Even so, I couldn’t really distinguish one pile of scrap from another; aside from the few projects that seemed much more complete and were standing upright, mostly assembled on frames or tables. All of the contraptions seemed oddly familiar somehow. I wandered through the shack and entered a room that appeared to be a bedroom, the only room that looked in shape and largely undisturbed. A small bed at the far wall, the floor and walls covered in drawings and sketches of technical equipment. It hit me like a ton of bricks: this was where Seething Mass had lived. 

I examined the drawings on the walls closer. They seemed like the scribblings of a madpony, strange mathematical equations and drawings of harsh-looking gears and wires. Over there seemed to be a design for hoofboots with springs in them, right next to them hastily-scrawled notes describing a machine that would allow a pony to breath underwater. I moved on into the next room. It seemed to be a machine room, probably where the Apple family had their tractors tuned up. Hobbling about the room I looked carefully through all of the items, there were gizmos and gadgets to spare. Some seemed complex, others seemed simple, but I looked at them all with interest until I came across the biggest, most complete one.

Standing in the middle of the room, staring straight at me was a large pony mannequin, faceless and nameless. It looked like it might have come from Rarity’s boutique, but I hadn’t ever seen one with those proportions there before. The mannequin itself wasn’t all too interesting; it was more of what it was wearing. At first, I couldn’t believe my eyes, but it looked like somepony had… Decorated it. Not some silly decorations like you set up around the house for the holidays or that Pinkie would set up for a party. No, these were THE decorations. My decorations. They were modified, certainly, and where mine had been designed to look ironically regal these seemed rather fearsome. Almost, hungry. A muzzle gripped the front of the mannequin, whose face had been carved roughly out to make room for a bit covered in small buttons. Wires covered the thing like some sort of horrid web, and the hooves were sharpened into two points. I was horrified to say the least. Every moment my gaze was upon them, and even now that I reminisce upon the incident, I was reminded of the immense pain and torture inflicted by these terrible symbols of exodus and injustice. I closed my eyes for a moment in order to clear my mind, but I feared the moment when I opened them. I didn’t want to, and still wish I hadn’t.

I opened my eyes, slowly and carefully. I knew this was coming. Suddenly, I was no longer in the machine room I had been previously standing in. The area in which I then resided was the reflection pool in the Everfree Forest that had haunted my nightmares for months. I was there, staring into the pond with tears of blood streaming from my eyes and the wounds from my decorations dyeing the pond black. I did not see myself in the reflection, however. The pond appeared as though it were a window through which I could see the interior of the machine room, and in the center of the window was Seething Mass, wearing the horrible Decorations. He appeared to adjust something on the leg joint, then looked up at me and grinned. I slammed my eyes shut in fear, dreading what would happen next. The blood tears welled up behind my eyelids, forcing me to open them again, and there, in the foreground of the pond’s scene, stood Seething Mass. He continued to step closer to me, I didn’t know what to do. I reared back and stumbled backwards, my movement impeded by a tall tree. I was no longer able to see the pond’s reflection, but the pond itself seemed to boil away, flinging its black waters in random places all over the forest floor. A figure, huge and alone, rose from the pit of the pond, one I recognized too well for comfort. This figure shared all its features with me, except for a few major differences. Firstly, its coloration was pitch black, such a deep black that it might not even be described as black, but instead as a complete and total absence of light. Its eyes were glowing a solid red like they were filled with the blood of a thousand innocent souls. Most frightening of all were the shape of its eyes, a look of complete and total glee, bliss, and joy spread across its visible face. It was happy to be torturing me, and it wanted to be sure I knew that.

I stood there immobilized; staring with horror at the being in front of me, blood was still pouring from my eyes and from every chink in my decorations. It took a single step toward me, and I was suddenly reminded that I was a mobile creature. I ran as fast as I could through an opening in the trees, but it still wasn’t fast enough. I heard no hooves hitting the ground except for mine, but I heard a terrible, metallic, booming laughter echoing from every direction. I looked behind me and the laughter stopped, but there wasn’t a single creature behind me. As I returned my gaze ahead of me, I saw the thing. The horrible, horrendous, terrifying dark horse that was torturing me was right in front of me. I skidded to a halt as I neared the beast. I knew there was only one thing I could do. Without even thinking, I turned around and kicked it one time, leaning on my front legs and using my hind legs. It didn’t budge, the impact was much more solid than expected. Almost as if the thing were rooted into the ground. I was reminded of the injury in my leg as I noticed the crutch supporting me. I turned my head to look back at the monstrosity, but it wasn’t dead enough yet. Its head had merely been bent and twisted by my last kick. I heard only its laughter and a faint, startled, nearly inaudible shouting behind me. I turned back, and rhythmically let out another harsh kick. The impact was still as dense as a wall, but had some give to it. The creature was rearing up on its hind legs, still laughing its horrendous laughter. Its neck was twisted almost into a spiral and its front leg was snapped in two places. I turned back, and with another rhythmic kick, it was done. I watched as it fell on its back, unable to move due to the pain. Its eyes were so full of glee at my act, and its laughter continued, though noticeably waning in strength. I lay down, as my hurt leg was unable to support me any longer. The beast let out its last jubilant breath, as much a laugh as it was a sigh.

I was jerked my head with a shock, as somepony had nudged me in the side with their hoof. My eyes suddenly opened wide, and I gazed in terror at the scene that I had created. Behind me was one of the Apple family trees, a large one at that. It was lying on its side, splintered and twisted; its boughs were hanging to the ground. It was obviously my fault. 

Applejack was standing at my side, livid. “What in tarnation do you think you’re doing? If you think you can just trot in here and decide to take advantage of our hospitality, why, you’ve got another thing coming! I bet you got restless and bored, just walking in circles for an hour. You probably thought it would be fun to stretch your legs and see if you were strong enough to kick down that poor tree, didn’t you? DIDN’T YOU? Well I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I don’t share your sense of humor, buddy! You’re gonna be paying off that tree for a good long while, mister! Mr. Twigbottom is as old as I am, now what do you have to say for yourself?” She raged, staring with deadly intent into my eyes. There were no words. Not a single one I could think of to justify what I had done. I didn’t feel like I was justified in what I had done. Applejack continued to stare in furious silence at me, as I was only able to stare back in utter fear.

Just then, as if a beam of light began to shine down on my face, I heard Rarity’s voice shout, without warning, “Please, wait Applejack! There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for this!” She shouted in the elegant manner that I had grown to know well. She pulled Applejack aside for a few minutes, no doubt explaining to her what I was doing. She seemed to have a much better understanding of what was wrong with me than I did. All though the explanation, I was pathetically trying in the futile practice of scraping the splintered tree back together, crying over the mess I had made and the vision that haunted me.

I had made a neat pile of splinters by the time Applejack called me back over. With tears in my eyes, I turned to face her. She was much less mad now, and was deeply apologetic. In an attempt to be much more understanding, she said, “Gee Tor, I’m sure sorry. If I had known that you had… issues like that, why, I never would have said such awful things to you. Don’t worry about the tree, it wasn’t your fault. I really am sorry. I see that you’ve tried your best to clean up, but we can take it from there.” She said as she motioned to the pile I had made. “Is there anything I could get for you? Is everything alright now?” She asked, obviously concerned.

My eyes were stinging, wrung out dry from the tears. I answered, “No, thank you for asking. I think it would probably be best if I left the orchard for a while. I don’t want to do something…horrible again.” I was still in hysterical shock at the crime I committed.

Applejack touched my shoulder and I froze. For just a split second behind her I could see the trees of Sweet Apple Acres ignite, only for the flames to die away. “Look Tor, you really can’t feel bad. It wasn’t your fault. We know what it’s like. When Seething Mass was here sometimes he would get so worked up over little things we said, and sometimes he would wake us all up screamin’ in the middle of the night. He was, well he was different. But he found a place here, and we helped him as best we could before he left. Now ponies like you two, well ah know you can’t control your own actions sometimes. I’m not mad at you for breakin’ ol’ Twigbottom here because I know you didn’t do it on purpose.” She was silent for a moment. “You wanna talk about it?” 

And so I did. I poured it all out then and there. I didn’t say why I had been banished, but I explained it was for a crime I did not commit, and I spoke about how my mind had been reformed in Everfree. Rarity and Applejack somehow managed to keep the looks of pity out of their eyes for the most part, though Rarity did gasp when I spoke about the times in the forest when the sun wouldn’t rise. 

Applejack escorted us to the entrance to the farm, silently and obviously full of a multitude of confusing emotions due to the awful scene I had caused. We stood there for a few minutes, talking things over, Applejack and Rarity ensuring that I was okay to make the journey back to town while I reassured them, with little certainty, that I was alright to make the journey. We were just about to leave when we all heard a loud, WHOOSH noise, approaching fast as if somepony were flying at a high speed toward us. We saw a rainbow heading straight for us and we knew instantly that it was Rainbow Dash. “Everypony come quick!” She shouted, “Something horrible has happened, something with Seething Mass!”