//------------------------------// // 2 - M-Ad Ponies // Story: Conversion Bureau - Through the Glass but Darkly // by Dan_s Comments //------------------------------// Conversion Bureau - Through the Glass but Darkly 2 - M-Ad Ponies DISCLAIMER: My Little Pony is the property of Hasbro, Inc. by Dan_s Comments         On the large screen, the older boy/young man's hair was unkempt, his clothes of good quality, but their style utterly revolted Rarity, but she didn't care, his eyes burned with enthusiasm. "Dudes, I spent my whole life searching for the best currents, and the most righteous clouds. Goin' high!"         The scene changed to a pegasus with similar mane-style and expression. The pegasus flared his wings. "Dudes! Now I can hang glide on my way to work! And work, is making weather! How cool is that?"         A test pattern and a somewhat emaciated, African man looked nervously at the camera. His language was alien, but the subtitles read. "The drought has ended the farms here. What little harvest we have is stolen by the warlords."         The next scene showed a pony in brighter colors and with a much brighter expression. The subtitles rendered his language. "The farming is still hard work, but now I feed my family, and no one steals our harvest." He broke down in happy tears.         The test pattern again, the pony was disheveled and looking about furtively. He spoke Flemish, with subtitles. The words across the top of the screen clearly said 'Equestria does not approve of forced conversion.' The subtitles read, "I was a member of the Human Underground Front. When I was caught, the government ponified me." His expression became grudging. The subtitles continued, "I work with the Equestrian teams who are developing a deconversion potion, for those like me, those affected by accident, and those who want to go back." He gave a unwilling smile. "There are even some ponies who look forward to exploring Earth as humans. I want to be human again, but the ponies aren't as bad as I thought."         From her end of the couch they lounged on, Celestia sighed and glanced at Rarity and the collection of advertisements they were reviewing. "We're both going to Tartarus for this," the 'Solar Tyrant' sighed.         "You don't have to do this, your Highness," Rarity said, "I and my team seem to have a flair for it, but it is tedious."         Celestia shook her head. "I will be held accountable for anything my ponies do. I need to be at least aware of everything," Celestia said, "With the scare from Rotorua this week, I worry too much."         Rarity rolled her eyes and with some trepidation, patted her princess' flank. "We're well ahead of schedule in some places. We have to advertise in others to keep schedule. Some places have such a high volume, the newly converted remain at the center helping the staff, until their entire extended family has joined them. We've got more volunteers to do all the work in Equestria than we could ever want. I have to admit, some of the humans are better ponies than some ponies."         "I'm facing the leader of the Front for Humanity in an internationally televised 'debate', really an ambush. They are the public spokesmouthes for the HLF. They're probably going to go after the report on the 'Newfoals' and their mental aberrations," Celestia admitted despondently.         Rarity shrugged. "Our researchers have found that after sensory depravation, the senses tend to be heightened. Tell them the truth, that our scientists and numerous converted humans are working on therapies to allow the transition to be smoother. And that some of the first converted are showing marked improvement."         "They're getting back 5% of what they lost," Celestia countered.         "And that is an improvement," Rarity said quietly, "Highness. We know the stakes. We are making improvements. We know what it means if we lose."         Celestia nuzzled the leader of the day to day operations. "I know, I just wish there could have been a better way. This." She gestured at the pile of tapes. "It seems so sordid."         "If we deployed the entire army, and tried to round them up by force, the first pack of kids with AK-47s and RPGs would wipe out the entire army," Rarity said, "Or, you could deploy a barrier to sweep them all up. Or tell them that Cthulhu was coming."         "Thank you, as if I didn't feel bad enough," Celestia said as she stood, "Where do you get these ideas?"         "Gazing on the Internet after work. If I got half the stallions these 'Bronies' want to hook me up with, I couldn't stand, let alone do my job." She chuckled. "They also have a very dark streak about how and why we are 'ponifying' their race. Some of the posts and quotes are hilarious as they are tragic. Like the rumor you tried to compete in the Kentucky Derby." Rarity froze at her sovereign's stare.         Then Celestia broke out into peals of laughter. "Not the whole Triple Crown?" she managed in among the giggles.         "No Highness," Rarity said and giggled along with her sovereign. "It feeds on the reports, true reports, that Rainbow Dash was denied entrance into the Reno Air Races. The rules clearly state you have to have a plane."         Celestia laughed some more about that. She walked away, still chuckling.         Rarity reactivated the television and the player. The short, fat, vaguely unpleasant young man/older boy appeared. He wore a shirt with a picture of the Milky Way galaxy and an arrow labeled 'you are here'. "I was never popular. And I didn't really know what to do with my life."         The stallion wearing a shirt saying 'home is where the heart is' had two very pretty mares and a big grin. "Making cheese isn't the most glamourous job, but my friends like me, and I like what I do. Who knew?" he shrugged as the scene faded out.         "Who indeed?" Rarity asked and smiled. "Make ads, not war. Maybe I am going to Tartarus, but it won't be for permitting genocide while I could prevent it." The next tape loaded and Rarity pushed the start button.         The gawky, teen girl had a complexion and fashion sense that made Rarity wince. "I got teased, like a lot."         The unicorn in the fetching beret and turtleneck painted on a canvas, and was actually quite good. "It takes some getting used to, but I wouldn't trade it for the world."         The soldier wore his medals and uniform proudly. But it couldn't hide the missing arms below the elbow or the eye patch. He spoke clearly and straight into the camera. "I was afraid I could never serve my country again."         The griffon with the same rakish arrogance and straight-into-the-camera look appeared, then his smile broke the harshness. "Now I can." He held up a fore arm. "And I get to keep these." He wiggled his claws and smiled again. "It was a real treat to be able to pick up my little girl in my own hands for the first time." He picked up an adorable griffon chick, who stared right at the camera as her father had.         Rarity shut off the tape. And let herself cry a little. "We will save you. And we will see that you can go home, wherever home is." She glanced over and flipped the lights on low, brightening the room and revealing a few of her assistants. One was a convert with a video camera as a cutie mark.         "You've outdone yourself, as usual," Rarity said after she'd composed herself, "Get these in rotation in Europe, and America. Also, try to line up some native speakers in other languages."         "We have the subtitlers standing by: American Spanish, American Portuguese, and Quebecois French for America, and the European dialects and tongues. A lot of the native speakers outside the United States don't like to do the 'before' portions." He looked at her querulously, "Do we really have to put subtitles on the ones going to England? Don't they basically speak the same language?"         "Do the people in Quito speak the same language as the people in Madrid?" Rarity asked.         "But they laugh at it all the time," the editor said.         "Better they laugh, and that they know we're fallible, or have a sense of humor ourselves," Rarity said, "People are very nervous about perfection. They start looking for the hidden flaw. If they can find an obvious one, they feel better." Rarity explained. "Besides the focus groups have always trended more favorably to the subtitled ones."         "Yes, ma'am," the editor said, and caught himself bowing, then looked sheepish, "Sorry."         "Oh you can bow, scrape and call me Princess, just do it sarcastically when the real princesses are around."         They shared a laugh.