Seethe was having an interesting day to say the very least. It was his birthday, so Celestia insisted on partaking in some sort of celebration. Even after a torrent of "No it's not necessary"s from Seethe. In the hopes of preventing anything massive Seethe scheduled a show for that morning.
"So.....How is everypony today?" Seethe asked from stage looking over the crowd. He received a barrage of "Alright", "Excellent!" and other variants. Then some joker in the crowd decided to say "Horrid!". Seethe chuckled and responded. "What did you go blind?"
He received a "No."
"Then you, sir, are not 'horrid' you are doing fairly well." Seethe stated then going into a story. "My worst day was about five or six days before my wedding. You see I got kidnapped by some zombie-bug thing and a........ya know I never quite understood what that Discord fella even IS. For any religious nuts here did your god or gods create that f***er? I mean really! What is that? It's like some dragon mixed with a chicken, a pony, a bull and a torrent of other creatures. To make a Discord you take all those creatures I listed, throw them into a blender one by one. Mix the liquid, drink it, pee it out, drink that urine, then force your digestive system to commit suicide and what the corner finds in your stomach is Discord." The crowd burst into an ocean of shear joy, laughing their own heads off.
As far as Seethe's comedy shows go, this one was going pretty well.
"Any how, this zombie-bug....ya know what let's just call it a bug; I don't want to confuse anypony, so this bug and a Discord kidnap me five days before my own wedding so they could brainwash my wife. Well you see when they kidnapped me they threw me in some underground cave thing. I drove myself blind trying to dig through the wall. Now I do have my vision back, with the occasional re-lapse when my heart gets racing. Now let's list the situations in which my heart races, shall we? Well we've got: intense arguments, physical contests like racing, and oh yeah....sex."
The crowd burst into a spree of laughter. Once they calmed Seethe continued.
"Yeah. Whenever we sex; we as in me and Celly, not any of you and me." He said gesturing from himself to the crowd generating a few laughs. "Not to insult but I like my booty to be royal. Anyway, when Celly and have have sex she basically turns into my moaning seeing eye-dog." Seethe let the crowd laugh a bit then put on his best Celestia voice. " 'Tilt your head twenty degrees! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....thats my tail! AHHHHHHHHH! Rath maga!" The crowd burst into tears as Seethe made a few orgasmic faces. Then gave them a serious look. "Yeah even Celestia makes up words sometimes. I swear whenever we have sex she turns into a voodoo-demon. She's going like 'Kallly maaaa........KaLLY MAAAA..........KALI- SEETHE! THAT'S MY EAR!'. Meanwhile I'm blind as a bat and trying to navigate that rugged terrain by feel and smell. Now even royal-rears smell funky so smell works pretty well if I'm trapped in the back-lands. Well Celestia always gets mad at me when I sniff about. She says it's like having sex with a dog. Well then she's making love to a blind blood-hound, I'm making love to an angry seeing eye dog. Kinda awkward." Through out that line Seethe was giving long pauses after each sentence to allow the laughter to lighten."
Seethe went on through out the show skipping about on his topics. Going from politics to more sexual jokes he kept the audience laughing and had a fairly good show. After the show he went straight to the bar and was greeted with many mares and some stallions wanting to buy him a drink. To stop them he shouted "First round of drinks is on me!" then went to the bar and ordered himself something to dampen his dry throat. After many years on stage he learned one thing at least, the water on stage goes by FAST. Today's show was two hours long so that glass of water had disappeared by about the forty five minute mark.
Long after the show Seethe was fairly buzzed by noon and had just arrived back at his room in the Castle at Canterlot but found the light switch didn't work. "Oh great." He said sarcastically. "Stupid faulty wiring." he said walking into the dark room and feeling about for the bed. Once he found it he climbed right in, covered up and nearly immediately began napping.
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Some time later Seethe was stirred by a gentle touch followed by Celestia's voice.
"Seethe? Wake up." She whispered into his right ear.
Seethe didn't want to wake up he was quite happy in his dream-like state of mid-sleep, mid-consciousness. He said one sentence "Do whatever you want just try not to get my face wet."
"Fine then well I'll just eat this chocolate cake myself..." Celestia said slyly.
That caught Seethe's attention. "Hey, wait!" he exclaimed rising quickly from his slumber. He brought his eyes right open and saw Celestia levitating a small birthday cake with 42 candles and "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVE!" written in light red frosting. It was a nice chocolate cake with a chocolate icing as well.
"Oh....you want a piece?" Celestia asked levitating two forks.
"Of course!" Seethe said with a smile. He tried to take a fork from her magical grip but she shunned him.
"No cake before you blow out your candles." She said moving the cake just a few inches from his face.
Seethe smiled at his wife. Then closed his eyes, made a wish and blew out his 42 candles. As the candles were blown out and magically flung from the cake into a trash can, the rest of cake came apart into 6 slices and one was immediately shoved into Seethe's face. He was able to swallow most of the cake but the rest was smeared across his face.
"Hmm....." He hummed as he swallowed the cake.
"Like it?" Celestia asked as she took a for full in her mouth.
"Yeah." Seethe said licking his lips. He went to wipe cake away from his eyes but Celestia stopped him.
"Wait let me do that!" She said with a giggle.
"Fine." Seethe said figuring she was just going to use a napkin or her own hoof to wipe it off his eyes. He nearly jumped when he felt a moist tongue touch his face. When Celestia was finished licking cake off his face the two of them shared a laugh and were once again reminded of why they married.