I’m in a hospital bed, eyes firmly closed so I don’t have to see my surgeons running back and forth. I still hear them though. It's pretty touching how they kept trying to save my life, even though it obviously wouldn’t work this time. I mean, I’m no doctor but a heart attack then a ten foot drop onto my chest is certain to kill. For me I had a 87 percent chance to die within the hour, and a 11 percent chance to die within the day.
~Beep beep beep~
“Heart rate has returned to normal.”
The nurse, always so optimistic, That’s good.
“Excellent, give him the shot then replace those IV bags”
The doctor giving a shot? Improvement.
~Beebeebeebeebeebeebeebeebeebee~
“Doctor!”
“I heard it, quick, hand me that needle!”
“We’re losing him!”
~Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
Typical...
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When I regained consciousness, I felt a cold, hard cement beneath my palms and head.
That rules out at least twenty five theories.
I decided to continue lying down rather than get up and risk my chances with the remaining possibilities. After a few minutes of waiting for something to happen, A voice pierced through the darkness.
“Wake up, laddie.”
“Ugh...”
Rising to my feet I felt my chest, it was clothed, thank goodness, and the lack of pain meant my wounds had healed. On a scale of nice to uncomfortable I would rate the fact a ten - ten and a half. When I opened my eyes I was met with a blinding light, followed shortly by absolute darkness.
“Wha- Where am I?” I stuttered
“I suppose that’ll be your choice.”
“Who’s the ginger?”
My typical response to hearing a scottish accent, which I guess would be a total of this once.
“Well, I suppose I could be ginger if you want, but I think I have a more amber color in my hair.”
If I want? Cool, he didn’t sound like he was joking, so he was probably not the typical human, the welcoming committee to the pearly gates? Well I didn’t see any shining light anymore, so I was pretty sure I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere.
“Who’re you, my personal tormenter?”
“I prefer the term Deus Ex Machina.”
“So a book nerd?”
“Heheh, I guess so.”
There was a snapping sound and I finally got a view of my surroundings. I was standing in the corner of a classic cement interrogation room, complete with bright lamp, welded table, and painful metal chairs. On the other side of the room, between the giant mirror and door stood a tall, gangly man.
Stepping cautiously closer to the table, I measured the guy up. Unsightly long brown hair dropping to his middle back was contrasted by a clean shave, and an old western duster hung loosely over a clean white shirt. His slacks crumpled at the bottom in a failed attempt to overcome his combat boots.
The strange, strange individual walked over patiently to one of the chairs and sat down. Then jumped back to his feet.
“Excuse me one second.”
Without waiting he briskly walked out of the room and returned a split second later with a cushion to sit on.
“Ah, much better.” He said with a contented sigh as he sunk into the chair, “Please have a seat.”
I mentally noted how he didn’t retrieve a cushion for me before seating myself.
“What’s your name?” I asked.
“You can call me Dues for now, and yours.”
“Kyle Orin,” I answered truthfully, but he waved it off.
“Mr. Johnson for now, you led a good life considering your difficulties, tried to follow your passion of-”
He paused to procure a clipboard out of thin air, which would’ve given me a heart attack had my heart not stopped beating five minutes ago.
“Running against the established order- Oh wait no, that’s just free-running. Well no wonder you died, didn’t you know you had a bad heart?”
He glanced at me briefly as if looking for an answer, but I just shrugged so he raised his eyebrows and returned to the clipboard.
“Collecting rare and not-so-rare vendibles surrounding you favorite subjects, including medieval weaponry, modern military gunnery, action novels, romance novels,” He glanced up again, “Romance novels?”
I nodded along, listening less to the list and more to a strange tune that popped into my head. It was pretty familiar.
“I use to wonder what friendship could be...”
“Uh huh...” Dues nodded slowly, “Of course this isn’t that important right now, this isn’t the afterlife or anything like that.”
That gave me a pause.
“Isn’t it?”
The man looked stupidly at me for a minute then burst out laughing, falling off of his cushioned chair. I shifted uncomfortably on my own less warm, metallic chair. The tall man stopped laughing (mostly) and pulled himself back into his chair.
“Hehe, oh boy, heh, that was a good one. Nah, we got to you just in the nick of time, another nanosecond and you would’ve klgt” He slid a thumb along his neck to emphasize his point.
“So, I’m still alive?” I asked, eagerly shifting to the edge of my seat.
There was a pause as the man looked down at the clipboard with a raised eyebrow.
“I suppose so, but there are rules. Firstly, you can’t re-visit your family or old friends in any way, shape or form.”
“Pfft,” I keeled forward gripping my stomach and nearly falling out of my chair, “No problem there, good riddance I say.” When their dying I will be still alive, and when their dead I will be-
The man's other eyebrow followed the first one in it’s raised position, as did the clipboard.
“There’s no need to pretend around me, I already have all the information on you.”
I stopped laughing and sat up straight.
ALL the information on me?
“Good, then we can now get this done with, you’re going to be transferred to a different universe, one where hopefully you’ll be useful to complete both of our goals.”
I frowned slightly.
“I already completed all my goals, I just want to rest now.”
The man got a short chuckle out of this.
“Oh, we both know that’s not true, consider this a second chance of sorts.”
He threw the board onto his desk, then stood up to shake my hand.
“Perhaps I’ll see you later, Johnson.”
I stood up as well, but didn’t take his hand.
“Before I go, what ‘world’ am I being sent to?”
The man withdrew his hand and smiled wide enough to force his eyes closed.
“Equestria.”
“Wha-”
Before I could give a proper response, I my vision went black and I lost all feeling body.