//------------------------------// // Chapter Twenty six- Best Shore Leave Ever! // Story: STAR TREK: EQUESTRIA // by Alicorne //------------------------------// CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX Best Shore Leave Ever! The Aluminum Horseshoe was easy to find, it’s doorway framed by a twelve foot tall downturned representation of its namesake. Equestrins and a few Ponies were passing through it in a pretty constant stream and, as I drew closer, I could hear Equestrin folk music (Mainly fiddles, accordions, and deep vocals.) wafting out. I was suddenly thirsty for cider! I didn’t think it would be hard to spot Sunny! Alicorns stand out even among Ponies, let alone a crowd of giant chestnut-brown and black Equestrins. I stepped inside and spotted her straightaway in a booth along the righthoof wall. In here, as on the Concourse, the seating arrangements were mostly Equestrin-sized so her hooves were swinging a few inches off the floor as she looked around at the oversized crowd. She saw me about at the same instant and beamed a smile, the bangle on her horn flashing in the light of the lamp at her table. On a plate before her sat half a donut bright with multicolored sprinkles. Tyllae, wearing a napkin like a poncho, sat by her elbow if front of the remains of an Equestrin-size brownie. The little tyke waved a forehoof madly as I came to sit next to Sunny with my packages. I collected a smooch as I settled in. “What, no cider? You didn’t have to wait on my account!” “Sure n’ it’s on its way now, innit? I’m on me second mug, bonny stuff that it is, it bein’ so warm in here!” The station was kept even warmer than I kept our cabin which made it borderline shirtsleeve temperature for us Augmented types! “Oh.” I looked around sheepishly. “I didn’t know they had servers here.” I spatted Sunny’s hoofs as she peeked inside the larger box. “Hay! No peeking! It’s for you and I’ll give it to you later… in private!” I whispered. “Ye actually went clothes shopping? N’ fer me?” She squeed and tried to sneak another peek. I moved the boxes beside me out of her reach. She giggled like a filly and just then I noticed there was a tell-tale pink flush to her muzzle. “How many ciders did you have?” I asked. “…And you tell me to watch my drinking on Leave!” Sunny fanned herself and gave me a feeling-no-pain smile. “Well t’was an honest mistake! I ordered mesel’ a cider but didna count on bein’ served a braw, great aquarium o’ th’ stuff now did I? I didna want t’ look like a piker so I drank it down. Th’ next one, though, is gonna be half size or I’ll be a-leavin’ this fine establishment on a shutter! Och, but ye make a mighty fine cider hereabouts!” She giggled again and gave me a nudge. “’N I’m no so far gone t’ recall ye werena a-goin’ clothes shoppin’, me fine Dear! Ye didna get me a set o’ coveralls so I kin blend in wi’ locals, did ye?” She propped her head on the table and tried to peer around me at the boxes again, giving me another mostly inebriated grin. “I went shopping for the both of us.” I tweaked Sunny’s pink nose. “You lush! Don’t worry, kiddo! I got something for you, too. It’s a surprise and it should be waiting for us when we get home!” Tyllae was finishing up her brownie. She scrubbed her chocolaty muzzle with her poncho and swallowed. “But Starry already got Tyllae a very, very, very nice brownie. Starry said Tyllae would get two but the brownies here are very, very, VERY big! Tyllae will have to wait a while to eat another one. ‘Sides, Tyllae does not wear Pony-clothing, Starry! What would Tyllae do with Tyllae’s pretty wings in a jumpy-suit?” “I didn’t get any jumpsuits! I went…” I glanced around to see if anypony was in earshot and whispered. “Lingerie shopping!" “Oooh! Sexy-sex clothes!” Tyllae caroled. “What’d ye get me, a titanium underwire bra so I kin go down to planet?” Sunny laughed and a couple of nearby Equestrins cocked ears toward us. “Will you keep your Luna-loving voices down!” I hissed, feeling my own muzzle blush and really wanting a cider! “So what’d ye get fer yesel’?” Sunny gave me a punch on the shoulder. “I always thought ye’d look just grand in a snug little Teddy wi’…” “Here! I got this!” I said quickly and snatched the smaller box, opening it up enough to give them both a look to keep them quiet. As an attempt to deflect attention away from us it was a failure. Tyllae shook off her napkin and fluttered in a circle around my head as I opened the box. Sunny squeed louder than when she…well, it was loud! “Oooh! Pretty-pretty! Tyllae likes shiny stonies!” Tyllae clapped her forehooves in midair. “Verra nice! I’ve got t’ hand it t’ ye, Starry! Ye’re a-learnin’! Sure n’ ‘tis just th’ perfect accent fer yer lovely self!” She was in the process of lifting it out of the box to admire it and more than a few Equestrins nearby were about to sneak a glance when I clapped it shut again! “Sunny! Not in public!” I blushed which only made the two of them giggle louder. The Mare in my head turned off her Main Viewer and hid in the turbolift. I wished I could join her! “Oh, Starry!” Sunny gave me a tipsy kiss on the cheek. “If there were more ‘Questrins like ye, there’s be fewer ‘Questrins like ye! Bless yer wee, bashful heart!” “See?” Tyllae flitted up to nuzzle my other cheek. “If Starry didn’t wear clothes just like Tyllae Starry wouldn’t have to be embarrassed about wearing any. Ponies should be smart like Faeries!” “Uh, I’ll go see about that cider!” I made ready for a quick exit but Sunny patted my arm. “Dinna worry, Love! Drinks’re here! Bonny great service hereabouts!” I turned to look where she pointed behind me where a broad Equestrin gentlestallion stood, tray in hooves. He was an older buck in a pale brown jumpsuit, no doubt making a few credits on the side to supplement his retirement. He had a white splotch covering his muzzle and he’d paused to turn his head sideways to look with one eye just like… “Dad?” My heart froze and I almost crushed the box getting it shut! “Daddy?” He turned his head to look at me with those big, brown eyes and smiled that slow, tender smile that was all for me. “Hello, Blinky!” He had just enough time to put his tray down as I surged out of my seat to throw my arms around his neck. Daddy squeezed me in a good, solid Equestrin hug that left me breathless! When he finally put me down we’d become the focus of attention of everypony around us. Not many Starfleet types get hugged in the Aluminum Horseshoe, apparently! Daddy beamed at all around and tousled my mane. “She’s my daughter and she’s home on leave from Starfleet!” There was some scattered applause and a few mugs were raised in our direction while faces that were normally guarded smiled shyly in our direction. (A couple faces frowned as well, but we all ignored them!) I tried to put my mane back in order as I slid back into the booth, scooting Sunny farther back to make room for Daddy. Tyllae came in for a landing in front of me, prancing excitedly. “Surprise, Starry! Tyllae was very, very, very good an didn’t blabbermouth ‘bout Jacky-Jack being here! Is Starry surprised? Huh, huh, huh?” “You betcha I am, Squirt!” I gave her a careful scritch between the antennae that made her giggle! “Daddy doesn’t…or didn’t… get offworld much. Are you working here, Dad?” Daddy was unloading the tray he’d brought up, placing a tall mug capped with creamy foam in front of myself and him. A smaller mug went in front of Sunny and a teeny cup meant for holding malt vinegar, now repurposed for the occasion, was put out for our favorite Fey. He set out a bowl of hard pretzel sticks before answering. “Me? No, no! I’m comfortable enough with my retirement that I don’t need a job, Blinky.” Sunny giggled and Dad winked at her. “I’m here because I’m part of the presentation ceremony tomorrow. Since I helped grow those damn crystals in the first place and since my Darling Daughter is part of the Crew the Company is hoofing the bill! It only took a little arm-twisting on my part to make them see that it was only reasonable. Easy as gravel!” “Aye! I ken how things get done on Bonnie Equestris after seein’ yer Darlin’ Daughter in action!” Sunny giggled. I gave her a bump with my hip! “Well…” Daddy rumbled, then quoted the unofficial motto of the Colony. “‘We Get The Job Done’, now don’t we? Ladies,” He lifted his mug. “Your very good health!” He blew the foam off his mug and drank deep! I followed suit, feeling very nostalgic about the old custom just then! Sunny slurped hers off, getting a creamy dab on her nose that made her giggle and sneeze. Tyllae flitted in front of hers and blew it off with a blast from her wings like an old pro before dipping her muzzle in! Daddy belched softly before chuckling at the performance. “You tunnel with an interesting crowd don’t you, Blinky?” He mussed my mane again. …Well, he could muss it all day as far as I was concerned! “Tyllae was a surprise for us all! I, uh, take it you’ve already been introduced?” I took another big drink, loving the way it coursed down my throat! “Yep, yep, yep!” Tyllae said. “Jacky-Jack (The Mare in my head squeed at the pet name!) Came over to where Sunny an Tyllae were sitting. Tyllae was all scardey-scared at first! Starry’s Daddy is big, big, BIG! But Jacky-Jack is very, very, very nice!” She darted up to nuzzle Daddy’s cheek before hovering in front of my nose. “Tyllae thought Starry was all grown. How come Starry isn’t Big, too?” “Luck of the old Genetic Draw!” Daddy boomed, reaching for a pretzel rod and breaking off the last couple of inches with his thick fingers, quite the precision operation all things considered, and offered it to the little Fey. “It’s a condition that crops up in our Family Line on rare occasions. One of my great, great and so forth Grandads was a buck named ‘Pip’. I understand the name means a ‘little seed’ or something like that. The Genetic Potential remains. Little Blinky came within a quarter inch of being aborted but she was too stubborn for that. Put on a real growth spurt in the second trimester, bless her little heart!” He gave me a one-armed squeeze as he crunched. Sunny quirked a golden eyebrow at the abortion comment and buried her view on the topic by taking a ladylike drink. “Daddy!” I gave the Old Stallion a dig with one elbow. He leaned over and winked conspiratorially to Sunny. “Blinky’s always been sensitive about being a midget!” “I’m not a midget, I’m just short! There’s a difference! Especially on Equestris, damnit!” I killed half of what was left in my mug while Tyllae methodically ground away at the pretzel bit she held in her forehooves. The little flit darted back to her cider and dipped the treat into it before getting trying another mouthful. We have hard pretzels on Equestris! “Tyllae does not unnerstand. Tyllae is short nex to Ponies but issa okay. Nopony minds little Tyllae being little! Nope, nope, nope!” Sunny smacked her lips and settled back into her seat. “‘Tis all bound up in bein’ an Augment, I ken.” She stated. “An overweenin’ emphasis on Genetic Purity, if I’m no mistaken. In this day n’ age, too!” She dunked her muzzle into her cider again. I shot her a warning look. There are three things you just don’t publically discuss on Equestris with non-Equestrins; Politics, Religion, and Augmentation! Dad saluted her with his mug. “Well we like to think we have our standards!” He took another drink and licked the foam off his lips. “It’s mostly Tradition, nowadays. Since we’re back in the Terrestrial Fold again we can afford a little more leeway when it comes to the old personal genome. I’ve been saying that for years!” Daddy leaned back with his arms sprawled across the back of the booth behind Sunny and myself in a classic protective gesture. He cast a defiant look around the room and I noted a couple of dark looks among the Ponies around us. Hoo-buck! I drank off my cider in a single gulp. It was high time to change the subject!“ Wow! That was good! Who wants another? My turn to buy!” “Bide a wee!” Sunny took a deep breath and poured the rest of hers down her throat in five swallows, thumping her mug down onto the tray while she took a much-needed breath! She belched discretely and giggled. “N’ speakin’ o’ ‘wee’, I need t’ find Little Fillys Room! Take a peek over all these fine Ponies n’ see where ‘tis, Starry-my-Dear!” She lounged in her seat and offered a friendly… if woozy… smile to the patrons around us. I stood, gathering up the tray, and did a fast recon. “It’s at the back to the left. You’re going to want the door to the right.” (Sunny didn’t read Equestrin.) “Left, right!” Sunny giggled again. “Time fer me t’ march, innit? Hup one, hup two! Excuse me, Father Jack-me-lad!” She snickered as she shooed Daddy into standing up to let her out. I had to wait while Tyllae insisted on finishing her own drink before taking the tray back. “Oi! Fancy meetin’ you lot! Make a ‘ole, choom! G’day!” Merry’s voice boomed out from behind me. I turned and didn’t have any trouble spotting the two Starfleet-red uniforms wending their way toward us. Merry plowed her way through the press clearing a path on sheer force of personality. Jerry-Rig followed close behind before the crowd closed in again. Both of them had Equestrin two-pint mugs in their hooves though, in their case, it was beer rather than cider. “Noice place, this!” Merry declared. “Properest pub Oy’ve seen since back ‘Ome!” She took in Daddy standing by looking bemused. “Crumbs! Oy didn’ mean ta barge in on yer company! ‘Ere! We’ll just push off, eh? Come on, Jer!” “Not at all! Join us!” I indicated the unused side of the booth. “I was just going up for refills. Sit down and meet my Dad! Dad, this is Merry, our Communications Officer, and Jerry-Rig our Chief Engineer. Guys, this is my Dad, Jackhammer! Daddy had a hoof in growing those dilithium crystals we’re taking on tomorrow!” Merry put her beer down and took Daddy’s hoof in both her own. “Put ‘er there, Jack! Roight proud t’ meetcher! Whatcher drinkin’? This round’ll be on me to celebrate!” “I got this one, Merry!” I hefted the tray. “You can get the next, ok? Back in a couple!” I returned at the same time Sunny did just in time to hear Merry telling Dad about the fight on the Bridge with Kruse. “…Me an’ Jer ‘ere did fer the bloody wanker after a bit. Oy went t’ ‘elp ol’ Starry with the bugger what took out th’ Skipper an’ Doc ‘ere. She ‘ad ‘im dead ta rights already, though. All Oy did was muck things up fer her when Oy went jumpin’ in. Got ‘erself a roight nasty cut outa the deal but it didn’t keep ‘er from wringin’ ‘is bloody neck roight there on the deck. Almost felt sorry fer the bleedin’ sod! Almost, eh? Eh?” She took a deep pull on her mug and helped herself to a pretzel rod, her eyes widening at the effort it took to crunch through it! “Croike! ‘ A’s wot Oy call an ‘ard pretzel!” “Dippit inna cider, Merry!” Tyllae warbled. “That’s what Tyllae does!” The little Fey wafted a fresh stick over to her cider and offered a demonstration before snacking again. “Moight be sumpin’ to that at that!” Merry dunked her pretzel and chomped experimentally before smiling a wide pub grin! “Score one fer the Little Filly, eh? Eh?” Daddy resumed his seat after Sunny got back. “You never said anything about being hurt, Blinky! Are you all right?” “Oh she’s right as rain!” Sunny caroled. “A wee transfusion, a bit o’ protoplaser work and ye’d never know she’d ever had a hair out of place. If I had a shipload o’ Blinkies I’d have to be a-takin’ on a second job t’ justify my existence!” She gave me companionable pat on the shoulder and regarded me with loving, woozy eyes. She was having trouble focusing though… And Daddy called me Blinky! “Er,” Jerry cleared his throat. “I’m confused. Who’s ‘Blinky’?” “It’s me.” I sighed, giving Daddy a rueful look. “Daddy calls me Blinky because of the white patch over my eye and because of my Cutie-Mark.” I hooked a thumb to the embroidered patch on my uniform. “Sort of a double pun he trots out whenever I’m with my friends. The Old Stallion’s got a perverse sense of humor!” I gave Daddy a dig with an elbow to jolt him out of his fit of chuckling. “Parental prerogative!” He boomed. “When she was just a foal that patch on her eye made her look like she was blinking in surprise at everything! She was the cutest little thing in the whole world, my little Blinky!” Whatever was left of my manedo got finished off by another affectionate mussing! “Damnit, Daddy!” I groused with no conviction, “I’m gonna look like a Tellarite if you keep that up! What’re Ponies going to think seeing me like this?” “Slag ‘em if they can’t take a joke!” He gestured his mug toward Merry sensing, perhaps, a kindred spirit! “Am I right or am I right?” “Too roight, cobber!” Merry saluted the Old Stallion with her drink. “Bin tellin’ ‘er for years to let ‘er ‘air down once in a while. Do ‘er a worlda good, eh? Eh?” Jerry raised his mug with an effort. “Well then! Here’s to Blinky!” Everybody except Tyllae (Who, worse for the alcoholic wear, had settled down in the crook of Sunny’s arm for a nap!) drank to the toast while I rolled my eyes, tossing in an exaggerated blink for laughs all around! Not used to real cider, herself, Sunny couldn’t stop giggling. “Blinky, Blinky, Blinky!” She tittered boozily. “Wonder if Blinky had a favorite binky?” “I’ve still got it!” Daddy guffawed. “Her favorite quilt! Little green squares with yellow stars in ‘em! Wouldn’t go to sleep without it when she was a little foal!” “Aww, what a wee Darlin’!” Sunny rested her head in her hooves since she was having so much trouble keeping it steady and gazed up at Daddy, urging him with her eyes to dish up some more embarrassing dirt! I took another quick drink, trying to figure out just how to change the subject again. Turned out, though, that I had nothing to worry about. “Ere, ow!” Merry squawked. “Watch here yer puttin’ ‘em barges, Mate!” She snatched her hooves out of the way of a big Mare in a pale beige jumpsuit with a purple feldspar patch on her shoulder, one of the ones who gave our group a sour look earlier. “Keep your puny hooves out of the aisle, throwback!” She snapped. “Go find yourself a Starfleet Pub to do your drinking, you’ll be safer there!” She made a show of pulling her free arm back for a backhoof blow. Daddy thumped his mug onto the table and stood up slowly, fixing the Mare with a warning glance. “Mind your manners, Feldspar! This is a Public Pub open for all!” “Sit down, Jack! This is between me and this piece of Raw Stock here!” She glared at Merry who locked gazes with her even as she took a deep draft of beer. “You just cozy up with your freak filly and her collection of sideshow pals and mind your slaggin’ business!” Feldspar’s ‘Raw Stock’ comment made me feel embarrassed for all Equestris. Even in this day and age there are some Augments who regard the Ponies of Earth with contempt. I didn’t care how much she’d been drinking already, it was no excuse for being so plain rude! The freak comment cut me deep as well. I can’t help being how I am but that was between me and Equestris. I fought a War for Equestris and the Federation and that counted as much as any amount of labor in a mine any day! Daddy clamped a hoof down on my shoulder to keep me in place. Sunny blinked owlishly trying to sort out what was happening. After a bit she look startled and closed her eyes as her horn lit up. I recognized the Horn Trick she used to sober me up. Jerry looked up and noted the positions of Feldspar’s drinking buddies as Merry spoke up again. The Ponies nearest us went silent while the rest of the Pub reflexively ratcheted up the noise a few decibels. She leaned over and examined her boot, wiggling her toes experimentally. “Well then!” She said evenly. “No real ‘arm done after all. Just a bitty scuff on me noice, purty boot! Tell ya what! Since me n’ me mates ain’t good enough fer this foyne ‘stablishment what say Oy getcha a drink? ‘Ere!” She tossed the contents of her mug in Feldspar’s face, followed immediately by the mug itself! “’Ave a drink on ME!” She couldn’t reach Feldspar’s jaw from where she stood so she planted a right jab to her solar plexus! Any other Pony from Earth would have collapsed on the spot to busy trying to draw a breath to do much else. But Feldspar was an Augment! She winced and the air whooshed out of her lungs as she sagged in place but she still stood and tried to brain Merry with her mug. Merry ducked then, hampered by the fact she was still in the booth, hooked a couple vicious swipes at the Big Mares kidneys before scrambling out to take up a fighting stance before her. Feldspar took a half-step back and shot a glance back toward her table. The two bucks she was drinking with sprang up and Daddy stepped right up to them, relaxed and his voice full of scorn. “Siddown!” He thundered. “You don’t want any of this!” The nearby patrons made room for him and stopped their drinking, looking up in anticipation. A few voices called out. “Give ‘em Hell, Jack!” “I know a couple bucks gonna miss a shift tomorrow!” “Mind yer temper, cobber! Don’t ee kill any of ‘em this time!” Just another night in the Aluminum Horseshoe, apparently! I began to wonder about Daddy, this was a side of him I’d never even heard of before! “Come on then!” Merry called out, her hooves raised. “Don’t git scared now, ye bloody Nag! Come git some! C’mon!” Jerry scrambled up, mug in hoof, but I got to my hooves first and barred him with an arm from across the table. “Stand down, Mister!” I barked. I got up and stood an arm’s length away from Feldspar. The two bucks at the table dithered in front of Daddy who shook his arms out and balled fists the size of firebombs from Mount Thunderball. They kept still, much to the amusement of the onlookers. I was worried for Merry. She was small, which could work to her advantage, and she was scrappy. She also thought she was fast enough to keep dodging whatever Feldspar could throw at her and throw kicks and punches from a distance. Drunk or not, Feldspar’s Augmented reflexes would give her the opportunity to close with the Communications Officer. Once she got a good grip it would be all over and I didn’t trust her to stop short of killing Merry. Bar fights are usually just scuffles but Feldspar had a real pickaxe to grind! Fighting Klingons or Romulans is one thing but I wasn’t going to let any of my Ponies die in a stupid bar fight! “Put it back in the rack, Feldspar!” I said to the glaring Mare. “This isn’t a fair fight. She doesn’t have a chance!” “’Ell Oy don’t!” Protested Merry. “Lemme at ‘er! This screw’ll be spittin’ teeth for a bleedin’ week!” “No way. No how!” I fixed Merry with my best no-nonsense Command Look. She lowered her fists…partway. “Aww! You ain’t no fun since you got ‘itched! ‘Ave it yer way then!” Merry shook her head, disgusted. “Looks like it’s yer lucky day, ya Two-Ton ‘Eifer! Ol’ Starry ‘ere just saved yer loif!” “That’s enough, Merry!” I turned my eyes back to Feldspar. Why don’t you and your pals call it a day and go talk a walk?” “Out a bloody airlock!” “I said that’s enough!” I pointed a finger at Merry. “When we get back to the ship we’ll slip on down to the Gym and I’ll show you a thing or two about Augments! Sit back down and shut up, that’s an order!” I switched that finger to Feldspar. “Like I said, take a walk and cool down.” There was real hatred in the Mares eyes as she glared at me. She bid me to do something biologically impossible that would be immoral in the religions on a double-dozen worlds. The remark caused quite a bit of disapproving tsking from the onlookers and made Daddy cock his head back far enough to fix Feldspar with a baleful eye. The language made Sunny gasp while Jerry blinked in surprise. A terrible, cold rage swept over me but I kept it in check. Merry eyebrows shot up in grudging admiration, perhaps, of such a command of the language. “Oh ‘Ell no! You gonna let this wannabe Khan get away with that?” She reared back defensively at the looks she suddenly got from those patrons nearest her. “Merry when this is all over with you are going to apologize to everyone in this Pub and you are not eligible for any more Shore Leave here until I sit you down to and explain what you should have already checked on before you set hoof on this Station. Khan is not remembered fondly here and you are being positively insulting in applying him to any Equestrin! Am I coming through loud and clear, Communications Officer?” I fixed her with a steely glare. She gulped and lost a lot of her bluster. “Yer comin’ in foive-by-foive, Starry!” She darted a hangdog look at the Ponies around her. “Shoulda done me homework, shouldn’t Oy? Roight! Oy’m sorry ‘bout what Oy said but this lot…” She jerked her head to Feldspar. “Got me dander up! Tell ya wot! Drink’s ‘r on me till Security runs me inta the Brig!” She scanned the crowded Pub, doing the math. “As long as me credits ‘old out that is!” Most of the expressions around her softened and there were even a few chuckles, bless their Equestrin hearts! “Listen to the High and Mighty Starfleet Officer!” Feldspar sneered. “The miserable deviant couldn’t cut it doing honest work so she spent her time looking at stars instead of doing something constructive for the Colony! She slinks off to Starfleet first chance she got so she can feel special living with all the suboptimals. Now she thinks she can just come back here like she was a real Equestrin instead of a throwback freak!” Feldspar spat on the floor at my feet. I peered at her closely, curious. “What is your problem? Did I steal your fillyfriend or something?” I said it just to needle her but even as I said the words, I recognized something in those hate-twisted features from long ago as some in the Pub laughed… “Good Galloping Luna! I did!” I actually laughed and some of the throng hooted! This was turning into a veritable nights entertainment! “Grow up already! That was ages ago!” “Topaz deserved better than a Fourth-Tier drone!” Feldspar snarled. “You weren’t good enough to clean her recycler! You’re one cut above a robot!” I let that one slide. “So you’re pissed off because your Second-Tier lover decided I was a better lay than you? Sheesh, Feldspar! Let it go!” I felt myself beginning to blush. Sunny says that I’m a prude, well…maybe I am! But this sort of talk isn’t meant for a public venue! “I’m not a deviant like you! I’m Bi!” She shot a look at the crowd hanging on to every word. It was her turn to be defensive. “What? It’s acceptable!” “Only since incorporation into the Federation.” I pointed out. “Just like Lesbianism.” I shrugged. “Times change, Societies adapt or die. That’s Optimal Thinking, in case you hadn’t noticed! How did you manage not getting culled with all that crap in your brain anyway? If I’m suboptimal what does that make you?” I sighed and rubbed my eyes. “Do us all a favor and pack it in already, will you?” Little Rock would (And did!) disapprove that I turned my back on an enemy. While I resumed my seat in the booth there came a flurry of voices! “Hay!” “Look out, Missy!” “Watch it!” “Ruddy bitch!” Feldspar tried for my kidneys with a kick. She was either too drunk, too angry, or just too inept to land on target though… As it was there was a terrific impact to the ribs low on my right side. The pain made sparks dance in my eyes but I rolled with the blow and spun to grab that leg or grapple the body-check that followed it. Instead, I clutched at air as the squirming Feldspar floated above me wrapped in the pearly glow of Sunny’s telekinesis! I straightened up, resisting the urge to feel the broken ribs. I watched Feldspar kick and punch impotently. Without leverage all she could effectively do was cuss, and cuss she certainly did! I clamped down on my anger like I did so often growing up. “Put her down, Sunny!” “Like hell I will! Somepony fetch me a ballbat! I’ve a mind t’ give a demonstration o’ what we call a ‘piñata’ back on Earth!” Sunny was grim and unapologetic. “Call me a freak, will she, th’ hyperthyroided Sassenach? Aye, attack my wife? From behind, for all love? Th’ not-so-wee filly needs a good, old-fashioned attitude adjustment n’ I’m just th’ Pony t’ give it to her!” She glared at the helpless Feldspar with real malice in her lovely eyes. I hated seeing her like that! “I wonder how small I can make this thing. D’ye fancy gettin’ made into a beach-ball, ye monster? I’ll squeeze ye like a rotten grape till yer bloody eyes pop out! I’ll…” “Sunny.” I kept my voice low and reasonable. “She’s helpless now. How fair is that?” “N’ how fair was it t’ attack ye when ye weren’t a-lookin’?” Sunny shot back, quivering with righteous anger. “It wasn’t. That’s why I want you to put her down. We’re going to have this out here and now. This is Equestris and we don’t need magic to take care of this. Put her down. Turn it off. Stay out of the way. I got this.” Sunny held my gaze for a long second. “…Yer a stiff-necked, prideful thing you are, ye ken that?” “Yep.” I agreed. “It’s part of my essential charm!” I smiled sweetly. She sighed. “Right! Fine! Have it yer way then. But if she starts t’ savage ye if ye go down I’ll have her back up in mid-air n’ I’ll vivisect th’ bloody cow! See if I don’t!” “Oh I’m not going down!” I turned to address Feldspar as she was lowered back to the floor. I watched her knees flex as the spell dissipated. She brought her fists up and glared. “Attack me from behind, huh? Let your petty anger warp your thinking? Indulging in the same pointless prejudices the Founders left behind on Earth? Not very optimal…or honorable… of you isn’t it, Feldspar? What’s in your genome? How much did your family pay to have it ignored? How did you avoid culling? Think you’re Equestrin enough to take a drone, you genetic trash? Put your assay where your ore is! Or are you just all methane, you…” I watched the raw, primal rage build in her eyes as I taunted her. Given her state, I had to give her credit that she lasted as long as she did. As it was she sprang at me like a photon torpedo! I almost didn’t have time to avoid that first rush. I chopped her on the back of her broad, Equestrin neck as she sailed by. I even managed to add to her momentum with a quick kick to the backside that broke her tail for good measure! For the record, that’s the only bone I broke on her during the whole fight! Starfleet Close Combat Training teaches that a real fight between two determined, trained professionals will only last a few seconds. Well, Feldspar wasn’t trained in anything other than in Pub fights and I was hampered by the fact that I didn’t want to kill her. I wanted to humiliate her instead! Besides, we were both of us Augments. Her technique was simply an endless series of bull rushes with the occasional try at a punch or kick when I closed in. Every time I threw her I was scrupulous in making sure she landed in the aisle instead of the cheering patrons. I was usually able to stop her dead with a jab to a nerve cluster or a kick of my own judiciously applied to just the right spot. Not that I had it all my way! She was so deranged with rage that it was sometimes hard to read just what she was going to do next. In a clinch, she bit and gouged and strangled, using every dirty trick in the book of Pub fighting. The only time I used my fists was when she ripped my uniform off from collar to ribs, exposing one of my Primary Assets to public view! I clouted her under the chin so hard she bit her tongue and followed it with a right hook that knocked out two teeth! (Teeth aren’t bones, there’s a difference! Besides, they were knocked out and not broken. So there!) And, just like that, Feldspar was face down on the floor with her muzzle bent beneath her oozing a little blood from her mouth and nose! Her teeth lay a short distance away and I suppressed a petty urge to kick them away where she’d never find them and have them replaced. Instead, I retrieved them. I rolled her onto her side and tucked them into her breast pocket, wiping my fingers on her shoulder afterwards. Only then did I hear the cheers and clapping from all around. I blushed as I fumbled to pull my uniform back into some semblance of wholeness. Sunny came to kneel at Feldspar’s side, checking her vitals. “Aye she’s obviously born t’ be hanged! All things considered she’s in fine shape.” She turned Feldspar’s head gently to one side. “Don’t want th’ Filly t’ choke on her vomit or whatnot. After a bashin’ like that ye never ken what’ll happen.” “This from the would-be vivisectionist!” Sunny pointed at me delicately. “N’ that from th’ ships biggest prude! Must be th’ warmth in here keeps ye from feelin’ a draft!” She peered closer. “Or maybe no!” Clutching my uniform together at the top only made me spill out below and grabbing it shut below made it look like I was groping myself. I cycled frantically between both options several times before compromising on holding things together in the middle of the rip. It still left me more exposed than I liked but it was truly the best I could do under the circumstances! Sunny thoughtfully partially extended her wings by way of a screen as I slunk back to our booth where I slid as low down in the seat as I could, jerking to a halt with a hiss as my broken rib asserted itself! Sunny was on me in an instant! “What’s wrong?” “Her boots had reinforced caps!” I whispered. “She broke a rib on my right side. STOP that!” For Sunny laid her ear against my chest listening for the telltale signs of a punctured lung. To the casual observer it may have looked like an intimate public moment, especially with her arm going around me like that. She didn’t pay attention, of course, and continued listening and gently probing my side. The rest of the table was getting curious. “Everything a-ok, Starry?” Jerry kept his eyes scrupulously on mine and nowhere else. “Blinky?” Dad peered over Sunny. “Ere! Give ‘em a little room, eh? The Victor’s collectin’ ‘er congratulations from the Adoring Crowd is all, eh? Eh? Croike, you two! Get a room!” “Hoosh yer gob, Merry!” Sunny snapped quietly. “She’s a broken rib in her. Just sit still a wee, Starry, n’ I’ll have this fixed up in a tick!” Her horn flared to life and I quickly reached out and grabbed in the manner of snuffing out an old-style candle. Sunny squawked and tried to pull away but I held her firm. “No Magic! Not here, anyway!” I whispered urgently, giving her head a slight back-and-forth shake for emphasis. “Ye need Medical Treatment if ye dinna want t’ chance a punctured lung!” Sunny gave me as severe a look as she could manage from her position. “‘N leggo me noggin, ye great Sod!” I released her. “And I thought you liked it when I touched your horn!” “There’s a time n’ place for suchlike and now ‘tis nowt!” She reared up and patted her mane back into shape. “Now who’s the prude?” I teased. “This might be what they refer to as too much information…” Jerry coughed into one hoof. Merry guffawed! “Oy wonder if she ‘as to wear protection when they’re gettin’ all up close an’ personal! Know wot Oy mean? Eh? Eh?” She dug Jerry in the ribs. He had the decency to blush! “Well she does put a thing on it when we go to bed…” I began. “Ponies!” Sunny thumped the table. “We’re a-gettin’ off-topic!” “Here, here!” Jerry put in. Merry made a rude noise at him. “I think I’ll just go see about a First Aid kit.” Daddy was mostly successful at hiding a smile. “The Barpony should have one behind the Bar! Sunny, dear, is Starry going to be ok in the meantime if she keeps still?” “If she stays put n’ behaves hersel’… aye, she’ll do. For a wee bit, anyroad. But I dinna ken wha else could be wrong wi’ the great, daft lump without I get her t’ Sickbay!” “I love you, too!” I grumped. “Hoosh!” “Well,” Jerry looked resigned. “Getting back to the Ship won’t be a problem. It’s my guess the Shore Patrol, or the local authorities are on their way even as we speak.” He gave Merry a here-we-go-again look. “Ey! Oy didn’t start it! They want to arrest somepony let ‘em arrest ‘er!” Merry hooked a thumb toward Feldspar who was in the process of being dragged away by her drinking buddies. The crowed muttered darkly as they passed by. “No you didn’t start it… but I finished it!” I put in, fussing with my uniform …until Sunny spatted my hooves! “I’ll take responsibility. Ultimately it was between me and her, after all. Besides…” I looked up as Daddy returned with the first-aid box as well as the Barpony who bore a tray of cider-filled mugs and something wadded up under his arm. He wore a rumpled, green apron over his brown coveralls. “Unless things’ve changed radically since I’ve been gone, nopony called for Security.” I looked up significantly at the Barpony. “Am I right?” The old Buck grinned. “Give that Filly an extra ration! Don’t the rest of you worry! However they do things on Earth on Equestris, we take care of our own problems. As far as anypony here is concerned justice was done and the Better Pony won. It’ll be a long time before Feldspar shows her face in here again, I can tell you! I can do without her custom. Hell! Once word of this gets ‘round I’ll have Ponies from all over the station in here to hear the story getting bigger and bigger! The name’s Chrysoberyl, by the way. Jackhammer and I tunneled together many a year. Call me Chrys!” As a rule, Equestrins are reticent about displaying emotion. (The occasional bar fight, aside!) My years in Starfleet have bred that trait out of me, I suppose. Chrys’s eyes smiled more than his muzzle did, but the grin that tugged at his lips made me forget about the scraping pain in my side! “Take this, compliments of the House of Chrysoberyl for a job neatly done. You didn’t even break a mug, much less any furniture! Neat job, that! Oh, and about your other, ah, problem…” He rolled his eyes away and presented the bundle he had under his arm. “I keep a sweater back in the Office. Sometimes it gets a little chilly in here since we keep the environmental controls close to Earth tolerances. You take it. It’s an old one anyway, but that’ll just make it more comfortable!” He dithered for a moment and snuck an anxious look at the other tables. Like I said, Equestrins don’t like to look maudlin. “Welcome Home, Little Starry-Eyes. I’m that glad things worked out for you after all. You had a rum way to go compared to most, but you Got The Job Done, didn’t you? You’re a tribute to the Colony.” He reached out and we gripped forearms. By dint of a minor miracle, my uniform stayed in place! “Thanks, Chrys!” “Sure n’ that’s verra generous o’ ye!” Sunny gave him both lavender barrels, nearly staggering the older Buck. “Thank you very much, Sir!” Jerry almost sagged in relief. “Oi! Thanks fer the drink, Mate! ‘Preciate it!” Chrys drew himself back up, shaking off the Alicorn Effect no doubt. “Don’t mention it. From the looks of things,” He pointed with his head at the thirsty patrons plying the Bar. “You’re gonna need all the help you can get!” “No worries, Mate!” Merry handed over her chip. “Was a bee-yootiful brawl while it lasted, wunnit? Mind ya, wasn’t nothin’ compared to that little set-to with the Klingons! Shoulda seen the Boss Lady ‘ere! Mopped the floor with ‘em, she did!” I rolled my eyes. “It was just one Klingon, Merry! And you had a hoof in the story as I recall!” “Might be worth a drink or two if you’ve a mind to tell it up at the Bar, you know.” Chrys suggested. “Bring the Little Flying One, too! Where’d she end up, anyway?” Most of the table checked the floor, under the nearby tables, and the bottom of their boots until Sunny called off the search. “Which I put th’ wee thing down when things got feisty! Och! Still sleepin’ it off, she is! Tyllae, dear! Come join th’ Party!” She scooped the little thing off the padded bench and put her on the table. Tyllae got up and stretched fore and aft before shaking herself briskly, smacking her lips a few times before snapping fully awake. Her eyes took in all the fresh mugs! “Tyllae gets a whole, big cider all for Tyllae? Yumyumyum!” She clapped her forehooves together in glee. A moment later, tipped off by whatever means, she flitted up to my face! “Star-ry! Whahoppen? Tyllae closes eyes for one little nap an Starry gets all hurt! Tyllae can’t let Starry outa sight for one little minute, nope, nope, nope!” The little Fey zipped here and there, taking in all the bumps and scrapes I collected in a quick inspection tour before fetching up low on my right side. She gasped and flitted up far enough to fix Sunny with an accusing look! “Sunny! Starry all hurt! Howcome not all healed?” “Dinna ye lecture me on malpractice, ye wee shyster!” Then she lowered her voice. “They take a dim view o’ Ponies a-doin’ Magic in these parts, ye ken!” “Pifflesticks!” Tyllae snorted. “What Big, Big, Big Ponies can’t see Big, Big, Big Ponies can’t complain ‘bout!” With that, she worked her way under my uniform. An instant later the pain there was replaced by a growing, soothing warmth, never to reappear again. She wriggled her way up and out by way of the tear in my blouse, puttin me back on public display again! “Tyllae the Number One Medical Assistant to the rescue! Yay Tyllae!” “Damnit, Tyllae! This isn’t a Strip Club!” I scrambled to cover myself up again! Jerry, Daddy, and Chrys looked away into their drink, the crowd, and the Bar in that order. But the little Fey refused to budge! Irritated by the lack of applause, maybe, she sat down squarely down on the most embarrassing bit (Well, it rhymed with 'bit'!)and looked up to scold me. “Hmph! Tyllae thinks that if Celestia an Luna knew how silly Ponies would get about boobies being out inna open, Ponies would still be walking onna four legs steada two! Starry got big boobies, so what? Whatta big deal? If nopony wanna see Starry’s boobies why everypony try to look? Tyllae thinks Ponies all loco inna coco!” She sat up and crossed her forehooves defensively while the Mare in my head hid in the bathroom. Me? I just wanted to die on the spot! “Tyllae, Lass!” Sunny dabbed the little mite on the end of her nose. “Why d’ye no go up t’ Bar wi’ Merry n’ introduce yer wee self t’ all th’ Ponies? I’d be willin’ t’ bet there’d be a brownie ‘r two in it fer ye! Ye just scamper along now while I get Blushin’ Beauty changed into summat more t’ her likin’! Flit along n’ have fun, there’s a good, wee Fey!” The prospect of another brownie went a long way toward dispelling Tyllae’s sulk! Sunny led me back to the washroom with the sweater draped across me. A few mugs were lifted in our direction as we passed but most of the eyes were politely averted, much to my personal relief! The sweater that would have comfortably rested on Chrys’ hips came down to my knees even with my pronounced upper torso anatomy! It looked ridiculous but I loved that turtlenecked gray-green, baggy mass so much like the one I lost my first day on Earth like a Sister! Between Daddy and Feldspar, my mane was a shambles! I ended up pulling it back into a serviceable ponytail that was held together by dint of a ribbon sliced from my own uniform courtesy of Sunny’s formidable horn. She’d magically annealed the edges to keep them from raveling and had even managed to incorporate the winged horseshoe emblem of the Hermes into it! “There now! Nopony can say that yer out o’ uniform now can they?” Sunny dimpled at me in the mirror as I admired myself. “Ye look ten years younger in that get-up! A reg’lar Filly-Bopper!” She giggled and gave me a hug in the privacy of the washroom. She’d taken the opportunity, quoting Tyllae’s maxim of ‘what they can’t see, they can’t complain about’ to mend my collection of cuts and scrapes. I felt like a million credits by the time we rejoined the throng. In the time we were gone the press of bodies had thinned out. Equestrins with any excuse at all had made their way to the Bar to catch a discrete glimpse of the tiny figure that flitted from face to face chattering away at warp speed, pausing only to dart down to bury her face in a rapidly diminishing brownie or to take a pull from a thoughtful straw stuck into a half-empty mug of cider. Merry lounged with her back to the Bar with a drink at her elbow and if any Equestrin managed to ‘accidentally’ step too close to her hooves she was bought off with a wink and the offer of another mug. Daddy, having taken refuge from the press behind the Bar itself, waved us over and the three of us helped Chrys keep up with the sudden increase of custom in the Aluminum Horseshoe. Mugs and mugs later somepony started singing the old Equestrin Pub standby, the Rockfarmer Song. We all of us chimed into the chorus, “Oh I’m a Rockfarmer and I’m o-kaayyy! I work all night and I sleep all daayyy…!” Times change, even on Equestris! But it so good to know that, contrary to the old saw, one bad apple doesn’t spoil the whole barrel! *** The Geeva plant was a rousing success! Tyllae was ecstatic when we finally got back to our cabin that evening and was busy until early in the morning fussing over Myrl… she declared that was the plants name… and clucking over his condition. Fyng assumed that, since the plant was Rigellian that the sunglobe would be set to radiate in the spectrum of the star Rigel. What he didn’t take into account, though, was that the Rigellians had extraplanetary holdings beyond their home system. The Geeva plant grows on a colony world called F’lnas under a yellower sun than the blue giant, Rigel. No wonder the poor thing was drooping! The only thing that was keeping it alive was the rest of the lights in the Shop itself! Re-programming the sunglobe was a snap and my standing with our favorite Fey soared to new heights as the sunglobe took up position over the grateful plant! “Myrl likes, Starry!” She clapped her forehooves as she eagerly circled the planter. “Myrl gonna be oakey-dokes now! Just wait! Tyllae gonna take real, real, real good care of Myrl an Myrl gonna be the biggest, happiest flower onna Her-mees! Yep, yep, yep!” She danced an aerial ballet around her newest Best Friend. “I hope so, kiddo!” I eyed the plant as another leaf gave up the ghost and drifted down. “I’m no botanist but, uh… Myrl here is looking like two miles of collapsed tunnel! …Maybe we should leave the sunglobe on all night tonight.” I began to get undressed. Sunny was way ahead of me and had tossed her clothes in the general direction of the recycler and had slipped into bed. She yawned and stretched lazily, that thin sheet leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination! Losing a two-thousand credit houseplant suddenly became my least pressing concern! I wondered if Tyllae would mind spending the night chatting up Sekkack…? A moment later, Sunny herself popped that bubble! “I dinna ken fer you lot, but I’m absolutely fagged out!” She smothered a truly impressive yawn with a hoof. “Have a wee bit o’ faith in yon botanical beastie, Starry-me-Lass! Wee Tyllae has four green hooves t’ be sure!” She reached out to turn on her fan, (A sure sign that she’s ready to sleep and nothing else. …Damnit!) revealing enough of her intimate anatomy to make me sigh. All that cider had got me in the mood for some real… recreating, too! All of which passed by the distracted Faery! “Fiffle-faffle! Myrl just making room for new, strong leaves! Myrl gonna have the biggest, bestest flowers ever! Yep, yep, yep!” The little Tyke beamed at the Geeva fondly and took a deep sniff of one of the remaining blossoms, one of the striped blooms coming off even under her elfin touch! Tyllae, supremely confident in Myrl’s recuperative functions, never batted a teeny eye! “Oooh kay! Come on, Squirt! Let’s get to bed. It’s been a long day and we have the Presentation to attend tomorrow, you know.” “Gonna see Jacky-Jack again, Starry?” The Fey hopped into her Favorite Sleeping Spot after I settled in, Sunny snugging herself up and burying her head into my shoulder against the light of the sunglobe. “Count on it, Kid! He’s going to be part of the show! Hopefully we can slip off for some more cider after the formalities are done.” “Goody-good! Tyllae likes Jacky-Jack!” I kissed my fingertip and applied it to the little mite. “You made a lot of new friends tonight, didn’t you?” “Yer both gwin’t’ lose one if ye dinna go t’ sleep!” Sunny growled sleepily. (Chief among Sunny’s pet peeves is being kept awake and being awakened once she falls asleep. Really! She can be a real manticore when she wants to be!) I gave her bottom a little pinch, making her grope around a moment to pinch something of mine in return. I held my peace but couldn’t keep my body from shaking with quiet chuckles. “G’night, you two!” I hugged one and squeezed the other. Then, because I just couldn’t resist… “G’night, Myrl!” Tyllae popped out from under the blanket and caroled. “Night-night, Myrl! Night-night, Starry! Night-night, Sunny!” “Put a bloody sock in it already, ye bloody night owls!”