“What in Celestia’s name is that?”
Deadpool started to notice that a bunch of ponies were all crowding around him.
“Oh no. My claustrophobia!” Deadpool thought to himself.
“Everypony, wait!” Twilight yelled.
{Hah! She said ‘everypony’!}
The crowd of guards turned to Twilight.
“Don’t be so hasty! There’s no telling what this creature is capable of.”
The guards suddenly realized Twilight’s point and backed away from the ‘strange creature.’
Deadpool gasped when he looked at Twilight. “Oh my goodness! Look! It’s Twilight Sparkle! Guys look, it’s Twilight Sparkle!”
{We think she is best pony!}
[No, we think that Pinkie Pie is best pony, since she most resembles us.]
“It can speak!” one of the guards shouted.
“It knows my name?!” Twilight shouted as well.
[Easy there, tiger. We can’t go around saying things like that anymore.]
“Hmm, you’re right.” Deadpool said to himself. “I’ll just have to cool it with the meta.”
Deadpool raised his arms to try and calm down the ponies. “Now, now everyone. Let’s all calm down a sec.”
“Every-what?” a guard asked.
“I know this may all seem strange and scary to everyone-”
“He said it again...” another guard inquired.
“...-but there’s no cause for alarm.” Deadpool did his best to calm their nerves. “As for who I am, you all may call me ‘God.’”
A Royal Guard stepped forward. “But...you said earlier that your name was Deadpool.”
Deadpool suddenly grabbed the guard. “THAT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! THE MODS WOULDN’T APPROVE THE STORY UNLESS I WAS INTERACTING WITH YOU IN SOME WAYYYY!!!”
The ponies became shocked and afraid. Just a moment ago, the creature was trying to calm them down and now it was acting hysterical out of nowhere.
A guard leaped forward and confronted the red creature. “Stay back! Stand down or I’ll be forced to take you into custody!”
Deadpool kneeled down to the pony’s eye level. “Aww. Wook at it! It’s twying to thweaten me! You’re just so cute I could just eat you up!”
“IT EATS PONIES!” A guard yelled.
Suddenly most of the Royal Guard were in a scramble as they tried to run away from the creature.
Deadpool watched with curiousness. “Huh. Would I be crazy if I were to say that this was exactly how I thought my first outing to Equestria would go?”
[You’re crazy, anyway.]
“Fair enough.” replied Deadpool.
The situation got out hand. With all of this commotion going on Deadpool’s presence in Equestria would certainly be known by the other citizens throughout, which would cause even more of a stir. Deadpool needed to find a way to break the tension and there was only one way he knew how.
Deadpool grabbed one of his pistols and shot a Royal Guard.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The portal seemed farther than one would think, but nonetheless Rainbow Dash proceeded to fly towards it. She took her chance to escape from the guards and Twilight when they payed all their attention to that strange creature in red. Now was the time she needed in order to check out what’s on the other side of that portal.
“Just a little more...” she said to herself as she inched closer and closer to her destination.
One peek was all she needed.
Unfortunately, she was unable to reach her destination as she immediately stopped flying upon hearing a loud noise- a loud, ominous noise. She needed to go back.
“The portal’s gonna have to wait,” she said to herself.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Everypony stopped in their tracks as they witnessed one of their own fall to the ground from Deadpool’s weapon. They stood still and silent, in fear of provoking the hostile creature.
After a long pause, Deadpool finally spoke.
“Bang!”
He then placed his palm upon his forehead.
“Stupid, stupid!” he said to himself. “You’re supposed to say it as you take the shot!”
[...]
{O_O}
Deadpool looked to his text-boxed companions. “What?”
[Are...Are we allowed to do this?]
The merc stood silent for a moment. “Do what?” he asked. “Oh, you mean this?”
He raised his pistol and shot another pony.
“Bang! Hah, nailed it!”
The ponies proceeded to run in fear once again.
[Stop doing that!]
“What?” Deadpool asked confusingly. “Oh! No, you got it all wrong!”
Deadpool then addressed the panicking ponies. “Everypony! Everypony, it’s alright! They’re not hurt!”
The ponies stopped in their tracks again.
“What...What are you saying?!” Twilight asked, eyes full of tears. “Look at them! Y-You killed...”
“No, no,” Deadpool approached one of the fallen ponies and placed his hand on their chest
Twilight and the other guards looked closely and noticed that the pony was still breathing.
“See?” said Deadpool. “I just used my ‘Magic Sleep Spell’ to calm them down.”
[They’re actually tranquilizers, to those who are wondering]
{Hah hah hah! Classic.}
Again, Deadpool looked to his text-boxed companions. “What, did you think I would send myself to Equestria in order slay the pony population?”
[Does ‘Deadpool Kills The Marvel Universe!’ ring a bell?]
Twilight gave a sigh of relief. “Thank goodness.”
It was at that moment Rainbow Dash returned to the group. “What happened? What’s going on?” she asked Twilight.
“Apparently we frightened this strange creature to the point where he casted his sleep spell on a couple of Royal Guards.” Twilight replied. “It’s interesting though. Do you think he used his sleep spell because of some sort of defense mechanism?”
“That’s one way of putting it,” Deadpool replied back.
“Whether or not, we still need to know what to do with this creature,” said a Royal Guard.
“Why not just send him back up the portal?” asked another guard.
“Portal?” Twilight thought to herself. She suddenly turned to Rainbow Dash. “Is that why you weren’t here a moment ago? Because you went to look into the portal?”
“What’s the big deal?” Rainbow Dash wasn’t in the mood for a lecture. “I wasn’t able to get a chance to look into it anyway because I was worried about that loud noise I heard.”
Deadpool spoke up. “Oh, you mean this?”
He shot another Royal Guard.
[“STOP DOING THAT”} Everyone, even his subconscious, yelled.
“Okay...” acknowledged Deadpool. “...Bang.”
Twilight shook her head as she again looked to Rainbow Dash. “What you did was very reckless, not to mention dangerous! There’s no telling what’s on the other side of that portal.”
“I was only going to take a peek!” yelled Rainbow Dash.
The remaining Royal Guards started to find the situation a little uncomfortable. “Uh, hey, Twilight Sparkle?”
“What is it?” she asked.
“Listen, me and the rest of the guards are going to report back to Princess Celestia. In the meantime, I request that you and Miss Rainbow Dash stay here and guard the prisoner- I mean, creature.”
“Uh, sure.” Twilight replied. “I think that’s for the best.”
With a quick nod, the Royal Guards took their sleeping comrades and left to see the princess.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As time passed, the fields became silent as Twilight and Rainbow Dash sat apart from each other as they were keeping an eye on the creature known as Deadpool. Deadpool, himself, sat crossed-legged under a tree, bored out of his mind. While Twilight never averted her gaze on Deadpool, Rainbow Dash, however, looked to the sky and stared at the portal, wondering how long it would stay there.
“Don’t even think about it.” said Twilight.
Rainbow Dash flinched knowing that the statement was directed at her. “It’s not like I could, anyway, what with ‘Little Miss Paranoid’ ruining my fun.”
“There’s nothing fun about endangering your life. It’s a good thing ‘Little Miss Paranoid’ is here, otherwise ‘Little Miss Ignorant’ would kill herself by being ignorant,” Twilight countered.
Rainbow Dash scoffed. “That was a redundant statement if I ever heard one.”
“Well that’s how ignorant you are!”
“I didn’t ask you to be my conscience!”
“Well somepony has to be!”
Deadpool watched with interest as the two ponies were arguing amongst themselves. “Oh man, it’s as if I get a live showing of a genuine episode!”
{I’m not following the storyline, here.}
“Look it’s simple,” Deadpool explained. “Rainbow Dash is doing something reckless and Twilight Sparkle, there, is trying to prevent her from doing that reckless thing in order to protect her. Rainbow Dash, however, wants none of that and she’s all like, ‘Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout’, Twilight?’ and Twilight’s all like, ‘Oh no you di-in’t!’.
{Oh, ok now it all makes sense.}
“Remember what I said before?” Rainbow Dash continued. “I just want to see something new if only for a short moment!”
“I can’t risk you falling into temptation!” replied Twilight. “What would happen if you do look through the portal and you end up liking what’s behind it so much that you go through it?”
“Even if I do end up going through the portal completely, I’m sure I would find a way back after spending maybe a year or two...”
Twilight gasped. “I can’t believe you’re even considering abandoning your friends just so you can get your quick fix of adventure!”
“I said I would come back!” Rainbow Dash replied. “Besides, we don’t even know what’s behind the portal in the first place, so maybe I wouldn’t even like what I see behind there.”
“Oh I highly doubt that!”
Both Twilight and Rainbow Dash looked to see that it was Deadpool who spoke.
“A girl like you, Rainbow Dash, would absolutely love the world that I came from,” he said.
Rainbow Dash immediately ran to Deadpool. “Really?” she asked with excited curiosity.
“Look, ‘Deadpool’, was it?” Twilight approached the two. “I’m sure you mean well, but I think it’s best that we don’t provoke Rainbow Dash.”
“Aw, c’mon~” Deadpool whined. “Isn’t it better this way, though? That I tell her what it’s like in my world rather than she go up there herself, putting her at risk?”
Twilight bit her lip. “Well, I suppose it is safer this way.”
“Sweet!” Deadpool yelled in triumph. “Alrighty, Rainbow Dash, listen up, cause I’m about to implode your mind!”
The next few minutes were nothing short of amazing for Rainbow Dash. Deadpool told of tales of adventure where there were actual super heroes in his world and they fought actual super villains. He told tales of a man who was bitten by a spider and ends up obtaining the abilities of one, he told of a man who was able to fly around in a suit made of iron, a man who had a flaming skull for a head and rode around in a motorcycle, a man that could turn into a green hulking beast just by becoming mad!
“And then you got me!” Deadpool pointed at himself. “Wade Wilson, The Merc with the Mouth, The Guy Who Won't Die, The Regenerating Degenerate, and The Crimson Comedian, aka DEADPOOL!”
It took some time before Rainbow Dash retained her composure to speak. “That. Is. AWESOME! You’re basically living an adventure everyday! Like, one day, you have to fight this bad guy, but in the next YOU COULD BE SAVING THE WHOLE FREAKIN’ WORLD!”
“Something like that,” Deadpool pondered.
“That is awesome! You’re awesome! YOUR WHOLE WORLD IS AWESOME!”
Twilight was starting to get worried. “Well, Rainbow Dash, now that we had our fun, we can forget all about that portal now, right?”
“Are you kidding?!” replied Rainbow Dash. “In fact I’m more tempted than ever to go into that portal!”
Twilight raised a hoof to her face. “This is exactly what I was afraid of,” she turned towards Deadpool. “I knew telling her about your world was a bad idea.”
“Hey it’s not my fault I’m so awesome,” Deadpool replied. “Actually...yeah it is...because I am that awesome.”
“How did you even get here, anyway?” asked Twilight. “Specifically, how did you manage to go through a portal from your world and send yourself all the way here to Equestria?”
“Oh well, that’s easy. I sent myself here!”
“You what?” asked Twilight astonishingly.
“Yeah, it turns out I was getting bored of my world, so I wanted to try something new and made a portal that ended up sending me to your world.”
Rainbow Dash took note of what Deadpool said.
“You have that sort of ability?” Twilight asked again with astonishment.
Deadpool scratched his cheek a bit. “Well...yes and no, so to speak. I have what you call...’situational powers.’”
“Situational powers?” Twilight repeated.
“Yeah, watch this!”
Despite Deadpool’s enthusiasm, he was unable to create this so called ‘situational powers’ he spoke up. Having come up with no result, Deadpool ended up having to-wha? Deadpool? ARGH GAHDJSBK-
AND SO DEADPOOL HAD THE POWER TO DO WHAT HE WANTS>
[*sigh* Here we go again.]
SUDDENLY TWILIGHT SPARKLE HAD BUNNY EARS FOR EARS>
“Whoa! Twilight!” RAINBOW DASH SHOUTED> “You’re ears turned into bunny ears!”
“What are you talking about Rainbow Da...” TWILIGHT FELT HER EARS WITH HER HOOVES AND SHE NOTICED THAT HER EARS WERE INDEED BUNNY EARS> “Aah! What, but...how!? What kind of magic is this?!”
“That, my friends, is Deadpool magic!” I SAID>