//------------------------------// // Conflicting Moralities // Story: Severance // by StealBox //------------------------------// Another night, another dream of her. But something was off... I couldn't place it, but there was a strange feeling that woke me up. I slowly opened my eyes, letting them adjust to the darkness, and after a few seconds a face came into focus. It took my half asleep brain a few seconds to recognize the pony laying next to me. "Star?" "*gasp*" Her eyes snapped open and she shot up onto her hooves, placing herself a few feet away from me. "What were you doing?" I couldn't see her face anymore through the darkness, the dim glow of the moon outside only serving to reveal her outline. "C-cotton! I-I was just- just coming to wake you up! Yes, it's time to get up, so come on! Time's a wastin'!" "...You didn't look rushed a second ago." I mumbled, eyes half-lidded, wanting only to roll back over and sleep until sunrise. "Well that's because I... I'm early! Yes, early! Yesterday you said you didn't get any breakfast, so I decided to come wake you up early! So you can eat. Y'know... before your lesson with Diamond." "Augh..." I groaned, rising into a sitting position. Right, I almost forgot. Magic lessons have to be before daylight, she says. Sadistic bitch. I got up and did one full body stretch to wake my legs up, then followed Star outside. I was able to see better out in the direct moonlight, and noticed that she was still wearing that necklace. We walked for a few minutes, when I spotted one of the food wagons, they being conveniently labeled with the picture of a fruit basket. I stopped there, but Star kept going. "Hey Star, you sleepwalking? The foods right here." "Oh," she said while turning around. "Right, I guess I wasn't paying attention." She sounded apprehensive. I didn't think there was any anger in my voice, but I was still tired... "It's alright, we all have off days," I say while ducking through the flap to grab some breakfast. I light up my horn to see the selection, and Star comes in behind me, staying by the exit. I shop around for a few seconds before deciding on the ever dependable apple to start with. It took about half a minute to finish, whereupon I moved on to a carrot. I was almost done with it when I noticed a tapping sound. I looked over to Star, only to see her nervously shuffling her hooves around and constantly looking at the exit, like she thought someone would come in and yell at her any moment now. "*gulp* Are you alright? You're being all... fidgety." "It's nothing, really, it's just, well... you know how Diamond is about punctuality. She'd- *yaaawwwnn* -owed up early!" Half of what she said was drowned out by a big yawn that I lost the battle to suppress. When I reopened my eyes, she was giving me a strained smile, though what it was strained about I couldn't be sure. "Yeah, I'll get right on that." I say, not really worried about whatever she'd said that I didn't hear. I grabbed a celery stalk and was about to take a bite when she started tugging on my tail. "Come on, we gotta go, I didn't wake you up that early!" she said, starting to drag me out of the wagon. "But I only had a carrot and an apple!" "You have celery, eat it while you walk!" She barked, now dragging me through the dirt, my hooves leaving little trenches, as I remained standing as we went. I had finished my celery stalk by the time we arrived at the spot outside camp where these lessons would be taking place. It was to be the same spot, at the same time, every day until... well... whenever she gets sick of teaching me I suppose. "Lady Sigil..?" Star tentatively called into the seemingly empty surroundings. "I guess we're earl- *zap* -SHIT!" I yell, feeling the familiar sting of lightning on my backside, and jumping around to face where it came from. "You're late." Says an angry disembodied voice, followed by Diamond appearing out of thin air several feet in front of me. "On who's damn clo-! *zap* -AH!" "Stop swearing so much." She must have turned up the juice in those two shots, because my ass was almost numb already. "I'm sorry M'lady, it's my fault he's late. I was... um..." She trailed off, looking at me guiltily. Diamond quirked an eyebrow at her for only a moment, before realization replaced her quizical look. "Ah... I understand." "Understand what?" I distractedly ask, trying to return feeling to my hindquarters. "Nothing to worry about. Star, you may leave now." "Of course M'lady," she said with a bow. "Good luck with your lesson Cotton!" She called out as she left. I waved goodbye, and Diamond launched right into the lesson without preamble. "Today I will be teaching you how to produce auditory illusions." She quickly taught me the spell to generate an imagined sound, and then proceeded to mercilessly drill me on numerous sounds, zapping me whenever I did something wrong. "*caw*- *zap* -Nnn..!" I grunt. "Too high pitched. I said raven, not crow." I really wanted to make a quip about not being an ornithologist, but... "Yes Ma'am," I say instead, this time generating the correct bird call. There were rules to these lessons, and those rules were no backtalking, and no complaining. Two things that had been almost entirely bled out of me by the fifty or sixtieth zap of yesterday's lesson. And so it continued for several hours, ranging from musical notes, to more obscure bird calls, to imitating voices, and so on... But I loved every minute of it, even as I felt another sting dig it's way into my side because my fake Silver Wind's voice wasn't exactly right. I couldn't explain it, but something about the whole experience was just so... exhilarating. "...And you've been all over the world?" Asked the curious earth pony who's name was Dusty. He'd wondered into camp from the nearby city and began asking the first ponies he'd found about the caravan. Star and myself being the lucky ones who first caught his eye. "I haven't, no," responded Star. "But our caravan has been to most of the world over the generations." She elaborated. The morning's magic session was finished about an hour ago, and Star met up with me while I was eating lunch. Silver was, and remains, conspicuously absent as I started my way to the police station to check in on that whole military thing. I didn't find any reason to not let Star come with me, and that was about the time that Dusty showed up. "Ooh, how fun!" He exclaimed in a positively giddy tone. "I've always wanted to travel the world! Oh, but between family, and work... you know how it goes." We both just nod amicably, neither of us really knowing at all, 'how it goes'. Me being essentially homeless, having nothing to stop me from traveling the world, and before that, on earth, having had no interest in the idea. And Star, who already does travel the world... "Right," I say, "if that's all Mr. Dusty, we were-" "Oh!" He interrupts, "there was one other thing! If you could indulge me?" I just spin my hoof in a 'get on with it' gesture. "I've actually never heard of there being any such thing as nomad ponies in the world. Why did your ancestors leave Equestria..? And when, as well?" This guy's never heard of them either? I thought it might have just been something I never found in my time at the library... "I don't really know all of the details, I'm not much of a history buff," she says embarrassedly. "But, I know they left durring the time of Nightmare Moon." His eyes widened comically upon hearing that. "Wow, a thousand years traveling the world... Have you ever considered coming back?" "Well, we were planning to... but our timing wasn't the best. Discord had returned again when we arrived, so we turned south and came here instead." "Ah, that is bad timing," he sullenly said. "But," now in a cheerful tone, "that's all been sorted out already! The Elements of Harmony came to the rescue, and Discord's been defeated! Equestria is back to normal now. You should really consider coming to see it again." Not long after that he obligingly moved on to find some other ponies to talk at, seeing as we were going somewhere and he didn't want to hold us up too long. Now free of any impediments, I made my way to the police station at a brisk pace, with Star following in tow. I really didn't have any reason to be in a hurry, but I was anyway. I mean, if there was a reply in, me getting there one or two minutes earliar or later wouldn't change what was on it. And if there wasn't a reply waiting, then me rushing is just a waste of energy, and it's not like I have anything else to do today. Stop feeling nervous! We've already established that they don't want to kill or torture me, or they already would have... Unless it's some kind of PR conspiracy and they don't want to get the civilian police involved because they would be questioning the ethics of it, and then loose ends would have to be delt with, and when loose ends are 'delt with', it causes an in depth investigation of their death, leading to the possibility of the conspiracy being descovored by the public, and then- I bite the inside of my cheek to break myself out of that tangent. Stop thinking up this inane shit! I guess the uncertainty of dealing with any sort of military orginization, especially with all the questionable things the government I've lived most of my life under was prone to do, was building up my normally calm anxiety levels. "Hey," came Star's voice, bringing my attention to her as she walks alongside me. "Are you alright?" She asked concernedly. "Yeah, I'm fine, just... letting my thoughts get away from me, it's nothing to worry about." The door to the station appeared before me much faster than I thought it should have. I took a calming breath and banashed all of the stupid, stupid thoughts from my brain, like opening the door only to be grabbed and put in irons or something. Opening the door, I was greeted by the same room as last time, unaltered, and empty save for the two receptionists sitting at their respective desks. The one I had spoken to last night wasn't here, he must have been a night shift worker. "Good afternoon," called one of them, "how can I help you today?" "There was supposed to be a message coming in this morning," I explain while walking up to his desk. "It would have been by bird from the castle south of here, Athrastos, I think he called it. The police Chief said he'd let me read it." He looked at me suspiciously as he replied. "We don't make a habit of letting civilians read military communiques. I'm going to have to take this to the Chief..." "That's fine, I can wait." He blinked in suprise at my responce, before begrudgingly getting up and going through the back door. Probably thought I'd come up with some hastily contrived excuse, and run out, before he could actually try to confirm my story, the prick. Who comes in out of the blue saying that they have the okay to read military messages, if they don't have anything to back it up? We waited by his desk for several minutes before he came back out holding a small paper roll. Reading it put my fears to rest, as aparently only one officer, a Colonel Griggs, and a Dr. Qhorin, were coming to see me. Their identities confirming one of the thoughts running around in my head. "Why are a Colonel and a Doctor coming to see you?" Asked Star, who had read the message over my shoulder. I put the paper back onto the desk, and answered her as we left. "Back before we left that other town, I made and sold some explosives to a miner. It's a substance that's virtually garenteed not to explode until you want it too, and somehow or other someone in their military must have found out about it." "...So they want you to make bombs for them..?" She hesitantly asks, clearly not comfortable with the idea. "Probably," I shrug, continuing through the streets. "But I'm only one pony, so it's more likely they want to buy the recipe, and make it themselves." That's why their bringing a docter, someone who can understand what I tell them, and then tell the officer that what I said makes sense, and that what I can make is real. "B-but they wouldn't be able to do that, would they? I mean, they- they'd need magic to make this stuff of your's, wouldn't they?" "...No..?" I say, sending her a look, my confusion at her aparent misgivings leaking into my tone. Next thing I know I'm being pulled quickly out of the street into a nearby alleyway. Once we're a good distance in, and away from the other beings walking the streets, I come to a stop with Star giving me a serious look. "Why are you being so nonchalant about this!" "I don't know, why are you yelling?" Says I, being totally confused. "Because you're talking about selling bombs! Don't you know what they're used for?" She says in a strained voice, trying to yell and keep her voice down at the same time, so that no one walking by the alley will over hear. "Controlled demolitions, artillery strikes, and land mines?" The question was probably rhetorical, but I answered it anyway. "Killing things!" Star half shouts, exasperatedly. "They're going to use what you give them to kill other beings! Why doesn't that bother you!?" she says, ending her sentence with a stomp. "Whoa, come down," I say, raising my hooves placatingly. "It's not like that. Anything they kill with TNT, is something they would have killed with dynamite anyway. Doin-" "How does that make it better!" She shouts, no longer containing her outraged volume. "Hey, calm down!" I shout back before lowering my voice again, trying to remain calm myself. "Maybe that was the wrong choice of words, but why are you getting so worked up over this?" "I'm a healer," she begins, seemingly calmer now. "It's my gift that I'm one of the few with an affinity for it. Killing goes against everything I stand for, and seeing you talk so casually about it just... it really bothers me." She finished, looking pleadingly at me, like she hoped her bleeding heart arguement would re-align my moral compass. "TNT is much safer to handle though, meaning no one will be killed by accident while around it. Selling this to them will actually save lives, if you think about it." My logic, however, did not sway her, and served only to rekindle her ire. "What kind of profiteering excuse is that!" She exclaims, leaning foreward and locking her horn against mine, in the unicorn version of butting heads. "Being safer only means they'll use it more often. Ending more lives, not saving them!" "Rrraahh!" I grunt furiously, pissed at her stubbornness, as I press down against her horn, intinctually trying to assert my dominance through force. "Why are you so-!" I was gearing up to really lay into her, when I saw a spark of fear enter her eyes, knocking me out of my overly emotional state. I hastily pressed a hoof against her chest and pushed us a few feet apart. "I don't want to argue with you..." I trail off, unable to think of anything else to say. Star just stares at me with a sad expression, before slowly turning around and walking away. I watch her go until she reaches the street and exits my line of sight. "*sigh*... Fuck my life..." God I hate having emotions, they're just so... annoying. I spent the next hour wondering the streets, feeling bad about getting all angry and aggressive with Star. I tried to cheer myself up by messing with others the way I had yesterday. I saw a pony couple, sitting at an outdoor table by a restaurant. They leaned in and started making out, so I worked my magic while their eye's were shut. When they broke away from the kiss, they each saw a horrific, half rotten zombie, in place of their date. Their horrified screams were amusing, but they failed to penetrate my gloom. I just couldn't get into it like I was yesterday. I wanted to blame Discord, to dismiss my temper as his fault for what he did to my brain, but I couldn't bring myself to do that. It had been how many days since then? I had to have gotten over it by now. I had to stop blaming him for everything, it was my fault, not his anymore. I got mad, enough so that I made one of my friends fear for their safety. I have to apologize. I thought, dismissing the illusion of a great big snake I'd placed behind a shop keeper, and that was about to loose a threatening hiss. I spent the next several hours looking for Star, though I only spent about one of them within the city, before giving up and going to the camp. I found Silver Wind about an hour later and, after explaining the situation, got her to help me look. I knew by this point that Star didn't want to be found, but I was determined. It was well past dinner time when Silver landed next to me again, filling me with hope. "Hey, one of those policemen from town is looking for you." She said, draining my hope like an upturned bucket. "Oh... I guess those guys are here..." I say unenthusiastically. "What guys?" Silver asks, blinking in confusion. I quickly explain what all's going on, having before only said that Star and I had an arguement. I was expecting a similar, if toned down, reaction to the whole bombs thing. "What do you think you'll charge for it?" It took a minute for my brain to comprehend the question. "What..?" Le fuck..? "Well, y'know, since you're selling the concept, instead of the product? That's supposed to be worth like, a bajillian bits!" "Where did you learn something like that?" I've never heard of or read anything about there being patents in this world! "Well, after we uh... left... Zabrica, we spent almost a year in the Saddle Arabian colonies all along the Zabrican coast. Those horses are really big on economics and wealth, and in one of their cities there was this place where they baught and sold eachothers ideas. There was this one guy who made almost seven thousand bits, selling what he called a 'refining process' for this icky black goo that they have." "Huh... well that's... interesting..." So Saddle Arabians have oil? Who knew. "So what are you gunna do once you're rich?" She asks, now leading me along to where the Policeman was aparently waiting. "I dunno, probably stuff it all in a box." "What!?" She cried, stupefied by my answer. "Why?" "I've just always been of the mindset that, just because you have money, doesn't mean you have to spend it." What would I need a ton of money for anyway? I've gotten pretty used to not having a house, and buying one would just bring up the issues of property tax, forcing me to become a registered citiz- In that instant, something clicked in my head. "Couldn't you find some sort of niche to fill? Maybe integrate into their society somehow?" "...I suppose it would be possible, if we had any money." "Of course..." I mumble under my breath as the gears start turning in my head. This can solve everything... I pick up the pace, a new energy filling me as I flesh out my plan of action. Eventually we met up with the cop, and we all walked to the station together. I was puting the finishing touches on my plans, and reasoning out what kind of price I would give them, when I noticed some of the ponies walking the street looked scared of something. It wasn't until we actually reached the station that I found out what was giving them the heebie jeebies. Tied up to the posts outside of the building like horses, and also hitched to a stage coach, were four creatures I'd never seen before, though I had an idea of what they were. They had the rear legs of a goat, with a large python where the tail should be. They also had the upper body of a lion, with both a goat and lion head coming out of their broad shoulders. None of the lion heads had manes, indicating them all as females. Holy balls, they use chimeras like horses. That is so badass. They were all pretty big too, their heads being on level with the minotaurs. As we walked past them towards the door, they growled at us, allowing me to see that they were defanged. Silver was forced to stay in the lobby, while I was escorted through a few halls, up a flight of stairs, and into a back office, where two minotaurs were waiting. They were both standing behind a large desk, becklit by a wide window overlooking the street. They were both staring out it when I walked in, before turning around once the door was shut, and giving me a good look at them. One was wearing a blue tie, and otherwise looked perfectly normal, while the other was a good foot taller, and obviously the Colonel. He wore what looked like some kind of upper body harness, with a few pockets and knife holsters sown onto the straps, aswell as a patch of material with a collection of military ribbons on it. Shirts definitely weren't a big thing with minotaurs, not that you could blame them with the near constant heat they had to live in. The Colonel's other distiguishing features were battle scars, the lack of a nose ring, and one proudly worn trophy. His right horn terminated in a jagged stump, where it was most certainly broken off by something, and the upper half of a cleaned skull was strapped to his left shoulder. It's shape, sharp teeth and backward sloping horns, identified it as a dragon skull, the size further identifying it as an adolescent. "Cotton Hill," the Colonel more states, than asks, looking down at me over the desk with an angry expression that didn't seem to really be focused on me. "Yes," I say with confidence. Don't show any fear or hesitance, or they'll walk all over you. "I'm Colonel Pheris Griggs, and this is my colleague..." He says, gesturing to the other, and sounding just as angry as his expression. "Doctor Rickert Qhorin." He said, face neutral, although there was a certain glint in his eyes. I also couldn't help but notice that neither of them offered up a handshake, or any equivalent gesture. Looking past that, I started thinking about how I could cut to the chase, without sounding rude or demanding. I had skipped dinner afterall, and was starting to get stomach pains, but then Mr. Griggs beat me to it. "Let's skip the pleasantries," he begins with his growling voice, grabbing a small pouch out of one of his pockets. "Three days ago, you made this," he pulls a small, yellow, and familiar piece of material from the pouch. "And sold it to the operator of the Ironton mine." "And you want to know how to make it yourselves." I stated, not even trying to make it sound like a question. I may have accidentally cut him off without thinking though, because his face seemed to get just a little bit angrier. "So it can be made without magic?" Quickly asked the Doctor, and to which I sent a confused look. "Yeess..?" I slowly say. Why would they be here if they didn't already think it could be made without magic? Seeing my still slightly confused expression, he elaborated. "Our source said that magic was not needed to use it, but that you created it using magic, forming it out of water and coal. We've only had the samples in our lab for a day, but preliminary experiments have been unable to recreate it." "Oohhhh," I say, now understanding his concerns. "That's probably because it's not just water and coal. Those were just the things Andre could see. The most important part of it is the nitrogen, which I took out of the air. But anyway, the making of TNT is a completely chemically possible process, using magic just let me skip all of the steps." "Good," said Mr. Grump, face still angry. Maybe it was just stuck that way? "That's one thing we needed to confirm. Now, could you explain the process to the Doctor here? So he can go through it and make sure it will work, and that you're not just stringing us along?" He said it without any change of expression, but I knew his game. "I'm not stupid, you know. I'll write out the process, and he can go through it when we meet again for the exchange. After we've agreed upon the matter of payment." I say, undiplomatically, as his horribly insulting snipe at my intelligence really pissed me off, as well as bumped up the price I'd initially settled on. "I assume you've been given the authority to negotiate and approve that sort of thing?" "Before we get to that," says the Doctor, bending over and lifting a brief case out from behind the desk. Setting it on the table, he pulls out a clip board with a really wordy paper attached to it, before uncorking a small ink jar, and placing it and a quill on my side of the desk. What's this? I wonder, floating the clipboard off the desk, the words 'confidentiality agreement', immediatly visible in bold capitals at the top of the page. Ah... one of those. I had to sign one of these when I got my research job on earth. Dr. Qhorin started droning on while I looked it over, probably explaining what a confidentiality agreement is, not that such needs explaining. I picked up the page to see how much of this thing there was to wade through, but was only greeted by the wood texture of the clipboard. *blink* I look at the back side of the only page, only to see it blank. What in hell..? letting go of the page I start to actually read the thing, whereupon I find that it's actually understandable, and pretty strait foreward. Sweet Jesus, I love this world even more now! This wonderful, pre-modern world, where the law system isn't a horribly unintuitive, and incomprehensably tangled mess, requiring a law degree to even read it. A one page confidentiality agreement, the one I signed on earth was nine! Reading through it, I didn't find anything sneaky, or underhanded in it. They only wanted me to keep my mouth shut about this sale, and never sell this information to any other nation. Seeing nothing disagreeable, I dipped the quill and signed on the dotted line. "Alright," I begin, as he starts putting everything back into the breifcase. "I want fifteen hundred." "What!" They exclaim in unison, the Doctor almost dropping the ink jar, and the Colonel leaning down and pressing his hands to the desk. His stance would have probably been intimidating, if I hadn't already planned for them getting aggressive when I named my price. "You heard me." I say, looking them in the eyes. "My price is not up for negotiation, and it's actually rather cheap. I should be charging closer to fifteen thousand, considering you're paying for all the TNT you will ever make, and all the TNT your grandchildren will ever make..." Dr. Qhorin didn't seem very invested in the price issue, merely being suprised by my forewardness, whereas the Colonel looked downright pissed. Not that I could blame him for feeling extorted, but it's his fault for being a dick. I was only going to ask for twelve hundred. "...But, I'm not greedy like that." The fact that I wasn't scared of him or his aggressive stance, seemed to only make the prick angrier. "I won't stand here and be condescended to by an extortionist." He growled out, shoving himself off the desk and crossing his arms. "Well then, I guess we're done here." I say with a relaxed shrug, to emphasize to them how certain I am that the following will be true. "You can try to reverse engineer it in your labs, but I have to wonder... how many bits will months of fruitless research cost. And how long would your superiors allow it to go on before cutting the funding. But, oh well..." I could tell by the looks in their eyes that I was convincing them, making them doubt their ability to synthesize it from scratch. I have them by the balls, and they know it. All that's left is to drive the point home. I turn around, and start walking towards the door, calling over my shoulder. "Good luck Doctor Qhorin, I have the utmost faith in your success." I didn't, obviously. Lacking electricity, there were no NMR, Mass spectrum, or IR spectrum machines, they wouldn't have X-ray crystallography either. And without any of those technologies, they would have no way of determining the structure of TNT, leaving them with nothing except that there is carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, and oxygen in it. They could spend decades trying to put those together in the right way, not even knowing that the essential starting material wasn't even plain carbon at all, but toluene. I could hear hushed whispering start up behind me as I opened the door, most likely the Doctor trying to convince Griggs to swallow his pride. Unfortunately, I couldn't stop or slow down without revealing my bluff, so I walked out into the hallway and headed for the stairs. By the time I actually got to the stairs, I had practically chewed through my own lip. Dammit, what's taking so long? I nervously thought, already on the fourth step down. Come on... Fifth, sixth. Come on..! "Wait!" Oh thank god! I thought, while letting out a sigh of relief. Turning around on the stairs, I saw Dr. Qhorin walking down the hall. There was no aparent urgency to his step, probably as some attempt to save face. "After some deliberation, we've decided that your offer would be a more sound investment." He kept his face in a schooled expression of professionalism, and I had to fight really hard to keep my smile from turning into a smirk. "A smart decision, I assure you. So, when can you have the money ready? I'll make sure I have everything finished on my end as soon as possible." "Arranging the transfer of funds from Castle Athrastos should only take a few hours, but it won't be able to reach the city until tomorrow night." "I see," I say, nodding my head. "Then we'll meet here again tomorrow. How does eight sound?" "That should be acceptable, I look foreward to seeing you there," he says, proffering a handshake. "So do I," I reply, accepting the handshake with a friendly smile. He turns away to head back, but I stop him. "Before I go, there was something I wanted to ask you..." "What's that?" Turning back around. "Is the Colonel always this angry? I mean, I know I pissed him off, but he looked pissed already before I got here." "No, he just... isn't comfortable around foreigners." The way he said it sounded off, and he looked uncomfortable, himself, at the question. Remembering back to how most of the minotaurs in Ironton acted, I took a stab in the dark. "Hmm... and by foreigners, I assume you mean ponies." The way his eyes moved away from me, and how he shuffled his hooves, told me I had guessed right. "Is that a common trait outside this particular city?" "No, of course not, it's just-" "I'm not as naive as the average pony, Doctor. I can tell that you don't like me either, you're just a lot better at hiding it." He kept his face carefully neutral, though I could still see that glint of distaste in his eyes. "Why don't you just drop the charade for a minute, I'd genuinely like to know why your people hate ponies." At this, he frowned for the first time since I met him. "It's not something we're allowed to talk about." This confused me. "Come on," I mock pleaded, "you can trust me. I'm really good at keeping secrets," I say, motioning to my cutie mark. He didn't seem convinced. "Hmm... How about, if you tell me your secret, I'll tell you something that can revolutionize science for your people?" He was understandably skeptical. "Like what?" "The structure and composition of the Atom. And no, I'm not lying, I do know it." It didn't take long for the knowledge hungry scientist inside him to win out, leading me out of the hallway and into a side room.