//------------------------------// // How Can They Forgive Me? // Story: Where My Demons Hide // by regulator133 //------------------------------// Where My Demons Hide By: Regulator133 Chapter: How Can They Forgive Me? Last night went without incident. That marks the first time since I was discharged. I was going to go around town today and see the sights and maybe meet some ponies. When I woke, the first thing I noticed was the picture frame I was clutching to my chest. I was holding it tight enough that it was starting to bent the wooden frame slightly. The second thing I noticed was that my coat was slightly darker in patches from the tears shed the previous night. The stains were obvious, they made my yellow coat turn a golden brown color. They had dried and created slightly crusty patches over the brown spots. I hopped out of bed and stretched out my legs. I was pleasantly surprised that I hadn’t experienced the usual excruciating hangover headache this morning, considering I drank myself unconscious the day before. I began walking to the bathroom down the hall, but my vision suddenly blurred, and I lost my balance and fell. The side of my head impacted a shelf in the hallway and, who would have guessed, I knocked myself out. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I opened my eyes, and all I saw was darkness. I turned my head to the left, then to the right. I knew I was alive, since I saw a faint beam of light coming through a crack in what I assumed was a brick wall. I decided to focus on the beam, which had small dust particles floating around in it, instead of the smell of decaying flesh or the sounds of rats nibbling on objects in the corner. At some point, I guess a rat chewed through an old pipe, because the sound of water dripping to the floor echoed through the room every few seconds. After about an hour, I decided I’d try to move around. I tried to pull my forehooves under me, but I then I realized that I couldn’t move my fore hooves, hell, I couldn’t even feel my forehooves. I tried to look at them, but the darkness disabled me from doing so. “Well this is just great.” I said. Well, at least it’s what I wanted to say. It came out as “Wuh...zuh...” Great, just great. I can’t move, can’t see, and can’t talk. The door opened above me, flooding the room with the dim moonlight from the hot summer night. Moments after the door was opened, a cloud of sand blew threw the room at high speed. I screamed in agony as the sand particles scratched the exposed flesh of my stomach. Once the dust cloud had vanished, I looked over myself, and noticed that I had severe burns on my stomach, presumably from the artillery strike I had narrowly avoided being blasted by a week ago. The burns had started oozing a mixture of blood and pus, since it had been infected by Celestia knows what at this point. In the middle of my self examination, which was not complete since I failed to see what was wrong with my forehooves, the moonlight was suddenly obscured by multiple pony-sized shadows. The sound of hoofsteps on the stairs, accompanied by a dragging noise, came down the stairs. The stairs were behind me, so I couldn’t see who it was, but I knew it was no good. There was a rustling, then a solid thud right next to me. Thee hoofsteps receded into the distance, and the door shut upstairs again. “Is anypony in here?” A faint female voice called out. The voice was familiar, but I couldn’t remember who it belonged to in my current predicament. Instead, I let out a pained groan. The sound of hoofsteps grew nearer, and I tried to tilt my head to inspect the newcomer. I was met by the darkness of the cellar. I couldn’t see the mare as she stood next to me. “Oh my!” she exclaimed. “Sergeant Apple! What happened to you?” The mare shouted. She Used her forehooves to feel my wounds. I don’t know how she could recognize me, but not see my wounds, but I was happy that there was somepony I knew here with me. Even though I couldn’t recognize her, it comforted me that she was a friend. An agonizing pain shot through my body when her hoof rubbed across a crater in my left hind leg where my flesh was supposed to be. I let out a raspy cry, and she retracted her hoof as fast as she could. “I’m sorry!” she squealed. I still couldn’t move, so there was nothing I could do to comfort her. She began to sob, which in turn led to bawling. She leaned into my still uninjured shoulder and cried for a few minutes. In between sobs, I could hear her say, “They’re all dead. All of them.” While she was still crying, the cellar shook as an explosive exploded on the surface. The quiet was suddenly shattered by ear-splitting gunfire and explosions. Dust from the ceiling would fall on us with every earth shaking impact from the artillery. The mare I could not recall was huddled over me, protecting me should the roof collapse. Amidst the gunfire, I heard someone open the cellar door. Light poured in from the fire of the explosions above. A zebra came running down the stairs with a submachine gun. I could not determine if he was friendly or not, but I prayed it was the former. To my horror, the zebra lifted the weapon up behind the mare’s head. Suddenly I was able to recall her name. “Oakwood, behind you.” I croaked. She turned around just in time to catch a bullet in the shoulder. She screamed in pain and clutched her left shoulder with her good forehoof. Before the zebra could pull the trigger again to finish us, his head exploded into a fine mist. A pony came rushing into the cellar and saw our condition. I was suffering from third degree burns to my face, chest and shoulder, and I had a bullet wound the size of my hoof in my left hind leg. All of the burns had been infected, but the bullet wound was fairly recent. “Shit!” The new pony exclaimed. “We need a medic down here now!” he shouted up the stairs. A zebra medic came running down the stairs. He saw me lying on the floor, slowly dying from the infections that were spreading through my body, then to Oakwood, who was bleeding out from a bullet to the shoulder. The medic gave me a shot, and ran over to Oakwood and began patching up her shoulder. The infections started to clear up, and I felt some of my energy return. I could move my forelegs again, and I could breathe much better. I stood up, and hobbled over to the stairs. As I approached the steps, a grenade flew down the hallway. “Grenade!” I croaked out. Then jumped to the ground. None of my companions heard my cry, however, and they were torn apart by the blast. As soon as I was able to stand, I hobbled over to the two bodies in the corner of the room. I looked at the medic’s body, which had been cut beyond recognition. Oakwood, however was still breathing. She was cut badly across her right side, but her body was mostly covered by the zebra medic’s body. I dropped to my knees and thanked Celestia. My uselessness had gotten to killed, but I was thankful that at least one of them survived. I draped Oakwood over my back and began walking up the stairs into a blinding white light... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- …and find myself lying in a puddle of sweat. I looked around, trying to get my bearings. I saw three sets of hooves around me. I looked up and was met with the emerald eyes of Applejack. She looked at with me, a worried expression on her face. “Get up sugarcube, we’re going to get you some help.” Applejack said to me. “Let me shower first.” I groaned, rubbing my forehead where I hit my head on the shelf. “Alright, just don’t you be too long. We’re gonna visit Twi, and I don’t want to catch her in the middle o’ her studyin’.” Applejack told me. “Whatever.” I said. “I’ll be out in a little bit.” I said. My two other cousins followed AJ as she walked down the stairs. I stepped into the bathroom slowly, careful not to trip again. I briefly wondered how long I had been out, but my thoughts were dominated by that memory. That was a week after Desert died. I was taken captive after being knocked out from the fall from the roof. I hated myself for months because I couldn’t yell loud enough to warn them of the grenade. I was too concerned with saving myself that I didn’t even think to jump on the grenade, and save the lives of the two ponies helping us. Instead, I saved myself and got two others killed. I didn’t even notice the tears that had began to stream down my face and mix with the shower water. The only condolence I had was that Oakwood survived. Her left foreleg was paralyzed, and she had a medical discharge as soon as she was able to leave the hospital. I visited her in her new home in Manehattan a couple weeks ago. She told me that it wasn’t my fault, but I couldn’t forgive myself for my cowardice. I shut off the water, and stepped out of the shower. I dried myself slowly, making sure I was completely dry, then I began to brush my mane. I wanted to make a good impression on the princess, after all. I wondered if I should wear my dress uniform, but dismissed the thought. I’m not worthy of that uniform, much less help from the princess. I thought. After I finished brushing my mane and tail, which is a long process as an earth pony, I headed down the stairs. As I walked down the stairs, I thought of what I would say when I met the princess. I reached the bottom of the stairs and clopped my hooves on the wood floor a few time. Applejack came out of the kitchen, and looked at me. “Let’s go AJ. “ I said. I should watch my tone, I thought, I don’t want to ruin my relationship with AJ. When I walked out of the door, the sunlight of the morning flooded my eyes with a bright white.