//------------------------------// // Don't talk to me about protocol // Story: Short stories about ponies and whatnot // by shutaro //------------------------------// During her time as Celestia’s pupil Twilight Sparkle had seen the Princess in a lot of situations. To the ponies that admired her from afar Celestia was a smiling, but stoic bastion of calm. But she had her moods and anypony on the castle’s staff learned to read them. There were the heavy-lidded eyes of boredom, the twinkling eyes of mischief, the annoyed squinted corners of her eyes, the sad eyes of disappointment and so many more. But her benevolent smile never wavered. And why should it? Celestia was the most powerful being in all the realms. What could ever faze her? --- The sound of slamming doors startled the young librarian, the sounds of stomping hooves and angry snorts made her uneasy, but the sight of Celestia’s snarl froze her blood. The Princess was not disappointed, she was not upset, she was livid. The heavy oaken door of Celestia’s private chamber closed with a thundering stroke that rattled the room. A number of cushions rose from one of the couches, shot through a window and exploded into clouds of feathers over the palace gardens. The Princess had fired a paperweight through them. The paperweight itself soon burned up in the atmosphere after reentry. “Good morning, dearest sister. Won’t you welcome your guests?” Luna seemed unimpressed by the display of rage she had just witnessed. “Huh?” Celestia turned her head and looked at the group of ponies that now shimmered into view. She eloquently caught that lapse, “Wha?” and stared at the group. “Sorry, if we caught you at a bad time,” Applejack held her hat in her hoof. “We thought it would be a nice surprise,” Rarity smiled through gritted teeth. “Happy one year anniversary?” Pinkie Pie waved a small flag and grinned desperately. By now the illusion that had hidden the seven ponies and one dragon was completely gone. Fluttershy, Spike and Rainbow Dash cowered on the ground with looks of utter terror etched into their faces. Twilight stood next to Luna, the expression on her face was one of complete disbelief. Luna shot her sister a scrutinizing look, “Celestia, please, you’re scaring them.” For just a second the room was plunged into darkness and the visage of Nightmare Moon leered in from outside the windows, “That’s my job.” At last the ice was broken, the elder alicorn stopped staring at the assembled ponies and at least Rarity, Applejack and Pinkie Pie managed to pull themselves together to help their friends. Rarity and Pinkie Pie comforted Fluttershy and Spike while Applejack listened to Rainbow Dash’s assurance of fearlessness. Celestia walked up to the group and sat down before them, Twilight followed the alicorn with her eyes but didn’t move a muscle. “I’m sorry, my little ponies. I was angry and in my carelessness I frightened you. I can only beg your pardon.” Celestia’s massive wings opened up and started to wrap around the smaller ponies, but stopped at the midway point. One by one smiled and took a step forward into the white wings until only Luna, Spike and Twilight stood outside. The little dragon was obviously torn between the princess of the sun and his adoptive sister. Luna stepped up to the stunned pony and whispered into her ears. “They are waiting, Twilight.” Twilight shook and looked into Spikes pleading eyes, then at Celestia. She lowered her back and mentioned for Spike to get on, then she too stepped into the sea of white feathers. The huge wings closed over them and for just a few minutes all was right with the world. Then a firecracker fell out of Pinkie Pie’s mane and exploded. --- “Now tell us, sister. What has you in such foul mood?” Luna asked as her magic mended the broken windows. “Powder Wig,” Celestia hissed through her clenched teeth. Twilight wrinkled her forehead, “Powder Wig, elderly unicorn, grey coat with a white mane, majordomo for festivities and parties, a little pudgy?” Spike giggled, “Elderly? Try ancient. I heard rumors that he managed the first Summer Sun Celebration a thousand years ago.” “Well, he didn’t, but he sure acts like it,” Celestia snorted. “I wanted to have the ceremony together with Luna, like we did before … you know. But he refuses to change it. How dare he deny his princess!?” “Can’t you just order him to do it,” Rainbow Dash looked amazed and unsure about the situation. “No, she can’t, Dashie,” Pinkie Pie said with an intonation that her friends had learned to expect from Twilight Sparkle. Somehow she suddenly wore thick rimmed glasses. ”After the ‘Great Smashing of Barrels’ in 1473 almost ruined the treasury, Princess Celestia forewent the title and privileges of Party Planner Supreme. She is not allowed to organize or plan or to be involved in the organization or planning of any party or party-like occasion with more than twenty ponies without public oversight. Exceptions may be granted by the house of lords with two-thirds majority. Such exceptions were given in … Yeah, I think that’s the important part.” Spike nudged Twilight into the shoulder. “She caught herself after the important part. I think you might learn something from Pinkie Pie after all.” But all eyes were on Celestia, the ancient alicorn was actually flushed with shame. “I could order as much honey wine and cake as I wanted. Judge me all you want, you weren’t there.” Pinkie Pie scooted over to the princess, “Was it worth it?” she asked and grinned. “Sooo worth it!”   Both laughed and high-hoofed, the other ponies in the room just rolled their eyes. “But what do we do about Powder Wig? I don’t say we should give in, but you can’t just waltz in there and kick protocol to the curb, now can you?” Rarity was visibly uncomfortable with disturbing a planned process. “Luna could order him,” Twilight said, “she didn’t step down from any rights.” “I’d rather not start my first Summer Sun Celebration by terrorizing elderly ponies.” Fluttershy looked at the dark alicorn with a subtle smile, “But you are the Princess of the Night, the celebration is at dawn, and Powder Wig is a really old pony.” She wiggled her eyebrows. --- One of the party planners approached Celestia with a harried look. “Your Majesty, we can’t find Powder Wig. There are guards in front of his door and they say they haven’t seen him neither enter nor leave his chambers. And there are only a few minutes left.” Nothing like a palace guard who has been instructed to be absolutely truthful. The guards had been placed after Powder Wig had gone to bed. Celestia gave that pony her brightest smile and radiated helpfulness. “Well, I could delay sunrise if you think that would help,” she offered. All color seemed to drain from the pony’s face. “Delay the start of the ceremony? Powder Wig would have my head for that!” “I thought we outlawed beheadings, sister,” Luna walked up to the two ponies, ”I clearly remember you saying that there were far better things to do with heads. Now listen my little pony, my sister and I have done this a million times before. Literally.” She smiled, “You just make sure that the fanfare plays at the right moment, and we will do all the heavy lifting.” A minute later the fanfare played, two alicorns spread their wings and rose from the little platform into the air. The sunrise was just as beautiful as the one in Powder Wig’s dream.