A few days later, Alexander stood outside the throne room behind Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity. He was wearing a dress uniform sewn for him by Rarity per his specifications. A red beret sat atop his head, tilted to the right. His dress shirt and pants were a solemn olive, with red stripes on the cuffs and running down the legs. Emblazoned in gold thread on his right shoulder was the Imperial Aquila, a stylized lightning bolt on the other. Pinned to the left side of his chest were the few medals he had earned in his career. The Triple Skull was pinned on the right, earned seven years ago when most of his fungie platoon (as the youth detachments were known to the Harlech 501st) had been wiped out by Tyranid bioforms. Pinned next to it was the Eagle Ordinary, earned five years ago when he had singlehandedly charged a traitor Leman Russ tank with a 'borrowed' demo charge, crippling the tank and allowing the artillery to take it out. Finally, pinned on the far left was the Crimson Skull, earned six years ago when he had saved the life of a wounded Steven MacDougal, marking the beginning of their friendship together.
A grandiose march began to play as the doors leading to the throne room opened, pulling Alexander back to the present. He followed the six mares in front of him as they marched down the hall to stand in front of the throne. Princess Celestia stood regally in front of the throne, Spike standing sheepishly next to her. Princess Celestia smiled warmly at the gathered ponies and human.
"We are gathered here today to once again honor the heroism of these six friends who stood up to the villain Discord and saved Equestria from eternal chaos." The Princess of the sun turned to Alexander. "And to honor Alexander, a warrior from another land who aided us in our time of need, risking his life for ponies he barely knew." The throne room filled with cheering as Alexander and the mane six turned around to face the crowd.
Alexander was decidedly out of his element. He was surrounded by hoity-toity upperclass aristocrat ponies. He had never liked the human ones to begin with, and being surrounded by equine ones was just as bad, if not worse. He sighed. At least they stopped asking me questions after the first two hours. Another thing was, even though the celebration had a rather extensive buffet, it had no meat whatsoever. Come to think of it, Alexander hadn't seen any meat in the week he had been in Equestria aside from that found in his Combat Ration Packs, also known as CRPs for short. If ponies were herbivores as Alexander expected, he'd have to go hunting in the Everfree frequently. He grimaced. Guh, I'll have to gut and clean my kills myself. Alexander really hoped it wouldn't come to that.
"Hello." Alexander groaned inwardly. Another aristopony had come up to him. Emperor, I thought I was done with this.
"Um, hi."
"You must be Alexander. It is a pleasure to meet you." The unicorn offered a hoof to Alexander. Taking it, Alexander shook hands with the pony as he looked him over. His fur was white while his mane was a light blue, coiffed to have a slight waviness to it. He was wearing a black tuxedo that didn't cover his cutie mark (bleah), which consisted of three golden crowns with purple gems. He seemed to speak with a Praetorian accent. "My name is Fancy Pants, and I-"
"Where are your pants?"
"Pardon?"
"Where. Are. Your. Pants?" Alexander spoke slowly, as if to a very slow minded person.
"Ah, well," flustered Fancy Pants. "I don't wear any."
"So why do they call you Fancy Pants?"
Fancy Pants' pupils dilated as he started mumbling, unable to think of an answer. Moving away, Alexander shook his head. "I think I broke him."
He made his way through the crowd, trying to find a familiar face. He was about to give up when he heard a familiar cultured voice ring out over the murmer of the crowd. He followed the voice until he came across Rarity arguing with a blonde-maned white unicorn with a eight-pointed star cutie mark. As Alexander drew closer, he began to hear what they were saying.
"I have told you, Blueblood, I want nothing to do with you whatsoever!" Rarity declared, stamping a hoof.
The white unicorn, Blueblood Alexander presumed, snarled. "How dare you refuse me! I am a PRINCE! You should be honored that I even deign to speak with a peasant such as you."
Rarity seemed to turn bright red. "Why you stuck up, scruffy-looking, n-"
Alexander chose this moment to interject. "This thing bothering you?"
Blueblood turned to Alexander. "Finally, somepony who sees reason. This wench-"
"Wasn't talkin' to you, asshole." Alexander turned to Rarity. "Well? This freak bothering you?"
Before Rarity could answer, Blueblood practically screamed at Alexander. "How DARE you! I am a Prince, you uncultured freak of-" Alexander's fist connected with Blueblood's snout with an audible crack. Blueblood toppled over, clutching his face as Alexander returned his attention to Rarity.
"So, why was he bothering you?"
Rarity shuddered. "He seemed to believe that I would forgive him and be his consort after he used me like a servant at last year's Grand Galloping Gala. He even used me as an equine shield against a falling cake."
Alexander shook his head with a sneer. "Aristocrats, they're all the same, no matter where you go."
Blueblood was rocking back and forth on the floor, cradling his muzzle. He glared at the offending human standing above him. "By dose, you broke by dose! I'll do you for that!"
Alexander looked down at the bloodied royal. "You'll what?"
"I'll make you pay!" Blueblood shook with rage. "I challenge you to a duel."
Alexander straightened, smirking at the raging unicorn. "Article six nine zero zero stroke three seven Whiskey of Imperial Law expressly forbids enlisted men from dueling. 'Sending a request, accepting a request or fighting a duel is punishable by death by hanging.' I am afraid I cannot accept your challenge. Good day" Alexander turned and began escorting Rarity away.
Blueblood sneered. "You humans are all cowards. Your Imperium is a joke!"
Alexander stopped. He turned, his normally bright eyes turned cold and hard. "Defending humanity's honor, however, is another matter entirely. Fifteen minutes. Outside." He grabbed an observing Royal Guard. "Where are your dueling grounds?" The armored pegasus pointed, the human's icy presence striking him dumb. Alexander stalked away, his previously unseen cold demeanor parting the crowd ahead of him.
Alexander arrived at the dueling grounds and stood at one end with his arms crossed. A large crowd had gathered by the time Blueblood had arrived. A unicorn guard rolled over a stand of various dueling weapons. Blueblood immediately selected a foot and a half long capped foil. It hovered before the arrogant pony surrounded by an amber aura.
Alexander perused the weapons available. He picked up a sword, a short rapier. He snorted, tossing the weapon away. Surely there was something that he could use effectively. Inspiration struck him when he saw a familiar lavender unicorn among the crowd.
Alexander walked over to a nearby tree. Selecting an appropriate sized branch, he drew his power sword and sliced it off. Sheathing the rapier, Alexander took the branch to Twilight. "Hey, Twilight, I need a favor."
Twilight blinked. "Okay...what do you need?"
"Do you know how to turn things into other things?"
Twilight pursed her lips. "I've turned rocks into formal wear."
Alexander considered this. "Close enough." He sketched an outline in the dirt. "Can you turn a branch into this?"
Twilight furrowed her brows, then looked up at Alexander. "I've never tried something this complex. I'll need help."
"Just tell me what I need to do."
"Focus on what you want the branch to be." Twilight gritted her teeth as her horn lit up. A magenta aura surrounded the branch before it was engulfed by a white flash, leaving a blocky olive box with a tube extruding from one end in its place. Alexander smiled and picked it up. Twilight frowned. "What is it?"
Alexander grinned ferally at the unicorn. "A weapon of war."
Making his way to the dueling circle, Alexander drew his knife, a tempered six-inch steel triangular blade. He fixed the knife to the bayonet lug of the makeshift lasgun. Almost as an afterthought, Alexander covered the blade with a hard plastic training cover.
Alexander put aside the makeshift lasgun, removing his shirt and beret, leaving him in his undershirt. He tossed the shirt into the crowd, beret in a breast pocket. He picked up the lasgun, twirling it in the air before neatly shouldering it. Smirking, Alexander turned to Blueblood. "Ready when you are."
Blueblood was livid. "I challenged you to a swordfight, not whatever that is."
Alexander grinned, his eyes were anything but jovial. "As I recall, you never specified what type of fight this would be. What's the matter, chickening out?"
Blueblood turned a very impressive crimson hue. "I can beat you no matter what cheap tricks you use. Have at you!" Blueblood lunged at Alexander, thrusting with the foil.
The fight was as short as it was brutal. Good with a sword Blueblood may have been, but against a battle hardened soldier of the Imperium he didn't stand a chance.
As Blueblood thrust at Alexander, several things happened. First, Alexander stepped to the side, causing Blueblood to overextend. As he did so, Alexander unshouldered his lasgun, holding it as one would hold a shortstaff. Finally, he lashed out with a kick, sending the royal unicorn flying across the ring. Alexander charged the dazed noble as he staggered to his hooves. A terrifying ululating battle cry escaped the human's lips as he thrust with the bayonet, setting everypony present on edge. Faltering in the face of the assault and unnatural wail emanating from the human, Blueblood tried to parry the thrusting lasgun. Alexander kneed the unicorn in the jaw, smashing the butt of his lasgun into the side of Blueblood's head a moment later, brielfy knocking the noble out cold.
Blueblood came to to find Alexander sheathing his knife as he walked away, tossing aside the lasgun as it turned back into a branch. "We're finished here."
Blueblood staggered to his hooves, a red mist covering his vision. Taking the foil, he removed the protective covering. He lunged at Alexander's back. "I'M NOT THROUGH WITH YOU!"
Alexander drew his power sword as he turned it on, slashing while he turned. There was a bloodcurdling shriek of pain.
The two halves of Blueblood's foil fell to the grass next to the top inch of his horn. Blueblood writhed on the ground, clutching the stub of his horn as he whimpered. Alexander pressed the tip of his sword against Blueblood's throat. His eyes were filled with contempt and cold promise. "If I ever hear you insult my friends again, I'll remove more than just the tip!" Sheathing his sword, Alexander turned away, retrieving his beret and dress blouse as he went back to the banquet hall.
Blueblood lurched to his hooves, blood streaming from his nose. "Guards, arrest him! I want his head!" He looked around in confusion. The guards and ponies were all bowing. "What are you doing? Arrest that human!" A shadow fell over him. Blueblood turned around. "Auntie Tia, that thing-!"
"ENOUGH!" Thundered the royal alicorn in the Royal Canterlot Voice, a tone she rarely used. That she did so now was a testament to her anger and disappointment in her nephew. "I have put up with your nonsense long enough! It was bad enough when you used other ponies like they were your personal servants, but THIS is the last straw!"
Blueblood cowered. "B-but Auntie, he-my horn-!"
"You were lucky not to lose your head! You attacked a person who had bested you in fair combat. Now leave. We shall discuss your punishment later."
"B-but Auntie-"
"NOW!"
Blueblood slinked off, tail between his legs. Alexander stood by the entrance to the banquet hall, having stopped to watch the spectacle between the royals unfold. He saluted as Celestia gracefully approached him.
"Your Highness." Alexander greeted the alicorn. "I hope I didn't go too far?" He didn't really care, but he also didn't want to piss off a being with the power to move the sun and moon.
Celestia shook her head. "My nephew has always been a pain in the flank. Besides," replied the diarch. "His horn will grow back. Some time without magic will do him good." Princess Celestia floated a scroll to Alexander.
Alexander took the scroll. Opening it, Alexander was struck with the realization that he could read the scroll. He briefly pondered how he could understand the ponies before returning to the matter at hand. "What is it?"
Princess Celestia smiled. "It is a deed to a lot in Ponyville. A team of builders will arrive sometime this coming week to build a home for you, per your specifications. There is also a sum of one thousand bits awaiting you in the Ponyville Bank." She smiled warmly at Alexander. "Just a token of our appreciation."
Alexander had no idea how much a thousand bits were worth, but judging by the gasps from some eavesdropping nobles, it was quite a lot. He frowned. "What's the catch?"
Celestia chuckled pleasantly. "No catch. All I ask is that you live peacefully with the ponies of Ponyville, and that you make friends."
Alexander raised a brow. "Make friends? Seriously?" Celestia nodded in amusement. You know what, not the worst hand I've been delt. Alexander shrugged. "What the hell." He offered a hand to Celestia. "Deal."
Celestia took his hand in hoof and shook it. She smiled. "Shall we return to the party?"
Alexander smiled. "Sure. Why not?" Alicorn and human walked side by side into the banquet hall, joining the party already in full swing.