//------------------------------//
// 05:46 and Octavia's Real Jorb END - OR - Why Princess Celestia should never write fan fiction 
// Story: What the Heck 
// by Zytharros 
//------------------------------//

OCTAVIA'S REAL JORB V
THE DAY THE GENERIC RED AND BLACK ALICORN OC ATTACKED A FAN FIC AND WAS BRUTALLY MASSACRED BY TWO LESBIAN LOVERS, ONE OF WHICH WAS A CRAZY EARTH PONY ON DRUGS, THE OTHER A ROYAL SPY MASQUERADING AS A SCHOOLFILLY BUT WHO WAS ACTUALLY A MIDGET WHO HAPPENED TO BE DAMN GOOD AT ACTING
By Princess Celestia

Starring:
Octavia
Princess Celestia
Princess Luna
Ten billion billion silver Fluttershies
One tenth of a Royal Guard (The details of these two are a little hazy)
Silver Spoon
Herself, the ultimate in vain Pegasi, with her own face as her cutie mark. A blonde pony with a tightly curled white mane and a tail that also curls, though only ever so slightly.
Evil Dark Flame, a delusional red and black alicorn god of assassins and everything that burns (don't worry - I won't be merciful)
Bob
George
Your uncle
and Dude, a giant head with human limbs (could someone tell me if humans have nine dicks, or just seven? The royal character designer would like to know)





To Octavia, it looked like she was leaping out of her home and dicing ponies left, right, center and up yours. It was badass. Her sharp cello bowstrings swung and decapitated, degutted, deformed and otherwise dismembered every member of ponydom that passed before her eyes. She was ceaseless in action, careful in motion, perfect in rhythm, and flawless in execution.  No one had better fighting skills. No one was taking her on even remotely close to her skil level. She was a goddess. These peons were just ants.

And she was gloriously bloody.

Meanwhile, she sat there, blood dripping from her nostrils, face looking as if she had just seen Heaven. A thin strand of drool slipped down the side of her chin and she was licking one of her hooves. She mumbled something incohesive, then shouted the following sound:

"NNAYYEEYAAUGHXHXHXHXKXKXKKXKXKHKHKHKHKHKLAAAAAAFFFFUUUUCKKKERASSSWIRLEIGH...
KELISODNCBDLSKABDOFNFKSLSKAHCBFOSJDBROCNBDLDJSISOWODJDIRUURURURU...
JDJDIKSHFNFKSKSJWKWKHFJFKSKDBXKOAPQLQOWIQPPQPQPQPQPQPPQPPQDJK#*...
**$*('*$*$*"/^#&'&'&&"*$ososfjd→•←↓←◀→▼☆←◀←▶&39@928&"&3*♡×♡¤₩`₩} ¥¤¥¤×...
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT!!!"

And she fell over, unconscious.

She was unceremoniously loaded into a chariot and imprisoned in a padded room




"So! What do you think?"

"...Celestia?"

"What, my student?"

"This sucks."