//------------------------------// // 3. Zen and The Art of Soda // Story: Loved By The Sun // by TCSNxs //------------------------------// Loved By The Sun By: TCSNxs Chapter Three Zen and The Art of Soda Most would have expected the sisters’ secret exit from Canterlot to have involved a number of hidden tunnels through the mountain of the same name, going underneath the waterfall that cascaded from the top of the rocky peak, the dismissal of various powerful magical wards, and sneaking past an ancient dragon that guarded an antechamber at the behest of the equally ancient diarchs.   In truth, such an exit was as easy as a simple illusionary spell and the employee’s entrance. Celestia and Luna maintained their disguises easily enough as they trotted through to the streets.  Though they could not outright change their cutie marks; they could, and did, use the magically concocted disguises to mask them with less elaborate designs.  The two “unicorns” left nothing to chance.   As the sisters trotted through the capital city’s thoroughfares, their saddlebags nearly bursting at the seams. While Celestia neatly packaged various papers and a few books, Luna crammed refreshments and snacks. As much as the Solar Regent marveled as her sister’s zest for all things unhealthy, time was pressing. The disguised Princesses arrived at Canterlot’s train station without hassle. The incognito Lunar Regent, who took the name Eclipse, sauntered easily upon the platform beside her sister, who adopted Flare as her moniker.  Despite the delay leaving the castle, they managed to make the station just before the train arrived. “One would think we kept a list of names to choose from whenever the mood suits us,” Luna noted absently as they waited for the 4:05 to Ponyville. “But why did you insist we choose something related to our cutie marks?” “Because, Eclipse,” the cream colored unicorn turned to her sister as she spoke. “You have a habit of forgetting the most trivial of details.” “I do not,” the disguised Lunar Regent whined. “Sister,” Celestia deadpanned. ”Need I remind you of when you thought a plowshare was a rental agreement?” “Details, details,” Luna dismissed with a click of her tongue. “In that case, it’s a wonder we are related at all, Flare.” “I have often said the same thing,” the cream colored unicorn lamented as train approached to the platform. Despite the insult, Luna’s eyes sparkled beneath her pink sunglasses.  She and her sister rarely had rarely bantered outside the formal trappings of their station. Indeed, it was a good start to the day.  After the train came a stop, the duo climbed aboard with a few other ponies to a mostly vacant passenger car.  The spacious wooden benches were a little more uncomfortable than the sisters were accustomed to, but everypony had to make sacrifices. The engine grunted and belched smoke as it built up steam.  It wasn’t long before it gained enough speed that the imagery of the capital city blurred to the open fields and forests that were more signature of Equestria. The hours passed without event. Celestia watched out the window as the world passed in its own way.  Luna studied her sister between sips of the soda produced from her saddlebags.  Indeed, though a small part of Luna wanted to let her sister have her peace, the Lunar Regent was in a rather ebullient mood and felt the need to express it. “Sister,” Luna said with a tap to her sister’s shoulder. “A question if I might.” “I’m listening,” Celestia remarked as she kept staring outside. “Well, two questions actually.” “Why does that not surprise me,” Celestia chided, finally turning to look into her sister’s gaudy pink sunglasses. “Do you annoy Applejack like this?” “Every chance I get,” Luna said with a smirk. “But now can I ask my questions, or are you still plotting to banish me to some asteroid?” Celestia answered with a slight groan, which Luna took as her cue to continue. “Why do you always drink tea when there is this wonderful soda available? It seems much more flavorful to me.” “Because it will rot your teeth,” the Solar Regent explained.  “And the carbonation will eat away your stomach lining.” “That’s an old mare’s tale,” Luna dismissed. “Besides, we are ‘immortal, all powerful aspects of nature’, aren’t we?  I think Star Swirl said as such anyway.” “We are still ponies as well,” Celestia said with a shrug as if it were obvious. “Last I remembered, you hate going to the dentist.”   Luna involuntarily shuddered.  During one such cleaning, she required enough nitrous oxide to level a city-sized population. Perhaps it was something about drills or the soft, sterile decor?  Regardless, Luna would continue to partake of the fizzy drink.  It was simply part of who she was and they both accepted it. “Indeed,” Luna said as she decided to move to the latter question. “Why was I blackmailed into secrecy regarding your affections? Surely I could assist you in that particular area.” “I do not blackmail,” Celestia tacitly corrected. “Pardon my clumsy wording,” Luna said with a roll of her eyes. “Does ‘extortion’ or ‘shadowy exaction’ sit better with you?” “Because I do not wish to complicate things with Twilight before its time.  This is something I will have to do on my own.” Celestia answered. “But she is your student, and more than that, she is your friend.  Is she not open to the possibilities of life?” Luna paused to take a pointed sip of her soda. “Having the affections of the most powerful being in Equestria and, perhaps, the world?  That’s quite an honor.” “Were you always prone to dissertation?” Celestia asked. “Or is my imagination projecting itself?” “It wouldn’t be a first.” “Has anypony else told you how much of a pest you are?” Celestia said as she glare to her sister.   “Applejack, all the time,” Luna snapped back. “And I don’t listen to her either.” Celestia shook her head before she spoke, “What am I supposed to tell her? ‘Hello, my most faithful student. I’ve loved you since who knows when and, well, I hope you are okay with that. Do you want to go to the prom?’ Don’t you think that would be a bit awkward?” “Aside from the fact that neither of you really went to high school,” Luna snarked. “It might just be that simple.” “Luna...,” Celestia began, but the words died in her throat. “You have to tell her sometime,” Luna said with sudden softness.  She willed her magic into being and removed her sunglasses. Luna decided to work a different tactic. “This is not some ‘state secret’ that nopony else can know about.  Matters of the heart do not work like that. It will eat at you from the inside unless you do something about it. Even you, dear sister, are not immune.” “Like that soda?” “But with much more flavor!” Luna said with a flourish. “I would not deign to lecture you on matters of philosophy or poetry, but I will tell you this: A pony’s life is not meant to be solitary.  We are not accorded a choice of who we love.  Simply put; you can either celebrate it while it fizzes or let it go flat because you didn’t drink it when there was time.  It is your choice, sister.” “When did you learn to wax philosophical?” the disguised Celestia queried as she looked on. “The night is ever the time for lovers, poets, dreamers, and caffeine addicts, is it not?” Luna remarked with the same soft grin. Celestia said nothing as she studied her sister’s face. Luna was ever prone to her emotional side versus the Solar Regent’s more austere demeanor.  That said, there was nothing but the honest compassion only siblings are capable of expressing. “Perhaps you are right,” Celestia conceded. “I bet that hurt to say,” Luna said with a grin, “When was the last time you said that anyway?” “I think when you called Sombra a ‘vile machination of Discord’, assuming memory serves.” “Nopony said I knew how to pick students.” “Anyway,” Celestia said as the train passed along the outskirts of the Whitetail Woods. “How would I go about telling Twilight?  It’s not like how you fell for Applejack.” “Unless you temporarily make her part of the celestial body you control, mess up with the harmonics therein, talk at great length about rabbits, half heartedly threaten a lot of physical violence, and confess your soul while dreamwalking,” Luna prattled. “I’m inclined to agree.”   The Lunar Regent paused for a moment as she considered her words and just shook her head.  Sometimes life required a pony to bow to the absurd.  While Celestia silently agreed with that point, she was still left at square one with her own dilemma. “Perhaps you should write her a poem that basically asks her on a date?” Luna offered as she snapped her pink rims back into place. “I’ve heard that worked well for Big Macintosh and Fluttershy.” “Really? She wrote him a poem?” Celestia asked in honest curiosity. “Well, actually he wrote her the poem,” Luna corrected.  “Applejack said it was...cute.” “Define ‘cute’.” Luna cleared her throat before doing her best Apple impersonation: “Roses are red, apples are too.  Hey Miss Fluttershy, Ah’d like to have dinner with you.” “That’s...sweet,” Celestia remarked. “Though I don’t believe that will work with Twilight.” “It worked for them apparently. They’ve been seeing each other for a few months and neither has apparently been happier.” “It’s not a wonder,” Celestia said as her trademark placid smile returned. “They are meant for each other.” “You could say that,” Luna said as she wiggled her eyebrows beneath her sunglasses. “Do you want to know what she dreams about? Some of it is rather...unexpectedly saucy.” “Lu...Eclipse!” Celesta fumbled as she glared at her sister. “And I’m prone to missing trivial details?” Luna teased. “Regardless, I am only joking. You know that I would not do that to anypony unless there was a need.  Applejack being the exception, of course.” After a silent moment, Celestia continued, “I...shall figure this out later. I simply wish to enjoy myself while we’re in Ponyville.” “As you wish, sister,” Luna said as she eased into a smile. “But my offer still stands if you require help.” Celestia’s shifted her gaze back to the blurry world outside.  Luna’s smile remained as she finished off her soda.  Where the Solar Regent had blackmailed her into silence towards the student, the wording was vague about conferring with outside parties regarding the issue.  The Lunar Regent, for all her prowess in matters of law and magic, knew a loophole when she saw it.  As the train approached Ponyville, Luna had figured out exactly how to exploit it. ~(o)~ Applejack poked the catatonic Twilight once more.  Though the farmer didn’t use anything electrical, Applejack understood her words had the same effect as the unicorn’s mane and tail frazzled. Her face had convulsed wildly for a full minute before it locked into place.  The farmer blew a low whistle while Twilight stood just before the sink and stared into the mirror.  Celestia was about the only pony that ever caused the unicorn to slip a gear. A squeak from the door stole the attention of the farmer a moment later.  The door creaked open wider as Spike peaked his head in.  Upon seeing Twilight frozen in place, the baby dragon shrugged. He wasted little time as he clambered onto the sink.  They kept smelling salts around for a reason. “What did you tell her?” Spike asked nonchalantly as he sorted through the top shelf of the medicine cabinet. “Ah told her that she’s got heart problems,” the farmer cryptically replied. “The kind that involves a horn and wings?” Spike answered as he seized the economy-sized bottle. “For her, Ah don’t think there’s any other kind,” Applejack answered.  She took some relief in the fact somepony else knew.   The farmer wanted Twilight to do it her own way. But if the deadline passed, then she at least had her way of informing Celestia.  Blackmail was a tricky game. The baby dragon popped the cork off the large bottle and waved it under the frozen unicorn’s nostrils.  It took a few whiffs, but Twilight managed to return to reality.  As the librarian shook her head to work loose the cobwebs, Spike hopped off the sink and moved back towards the door.  He gave the farmer the bottle as a precaution. “Thanks Spike,” Twilight said with a smile.  She shifted to a glare as she looked to the farmer. “No problem,” Spike said as he wiped his claws on his apron. “But I came to tell you that the gals, Celestia, and Luna are here.” “Come on, Twi,” Applejack said as Spike closed the door behind him. She glanced at the door as if measuring her course. For all the love she had for the Lunar Regent, it was always a chore to calm Luna down. Still, it was a labor of love. The farmer paused for a moment as she waited for a response.  With no response forthcoming, she looked back to the unicorn. “Twi?”     The farmer sighed again as she turned to see that Twilight’s brain apparently slipped another  gear at the mere mention of the Solar Regent.  Applejack moved the smelling salts under Twilight’s nostrils and wondered, not for the first time, if the librarian had a voided warranty. ~(o)~ The food was as good as anypony could expect.  Dinner featured mounds of pasta and hearty marinara prepared by Spike. Dessert was covered by the surprisingly sweet— and pink—lemon meringue pie created by Pinkie.  The barrel of “special recipe” cider and bottles of Damner Doux Merlot, thanks to Rarity, simply added to the evening.  Indeed, it was turning into a splendid affair.  Luna aided the atmosphere with some conjured violin music.  Celestia worked her own magic with an illusionary fireplace, complete with roaring flames.  The round central desk worked surprisingly well as a dining table when decorated with a dinner cloth and lit candelabra. The diarchs dropped their disguises when they set hoof into the Golden Oak Library and any formal pretense with the Elements of Harmony. Celestia and Luna, in their ancient age, missed informality dearly and wished to have more.  However, protocol was ever as eternal as they were.  After the obligatory round of hugs and hellos, they sat to dinner and talked.  Luna was supremely in her element while Celestia injected now and then. But she concentrated more on her silent and slightly frazzled student.   Applejack did much the same when not fending off a wandering hoof from Luna. “So Fluttershy, Applejack says you and Macintosh are seeing each other,” Luna remarked before a sip of her cider. “Oh yes,” Fluttershy said, the empty plate and half empty glass of Merlot eased her inhibitions. “He’s quite...wonderful actually.” “Oh do tell,” Luna encouraged through a smile, which drew a glare from Celestia before she elaborated. “I mean, is he a good stallion?” “The kindest, most gentlecoltly stallion in Equestria,” Fluttershy replied with a far off look in her eye.   “She’s in love,” Rainbow remarked. “Not to mention that flank,” Rarity interjected with a suggestive grin, which drew a look from Applejack. The normally fashionable mare decided a simple gold neckerchief was better suited for the evening.  The fashionista raised her glass in a toast towards the shy pegasus as she continued, “Quite a catch, darling.”   “That’s my brother, ya know,” Applejack said with a shake of her head. “Ah could do without the images in mah head.” “Oh darling, I’m happy for Fluttershy,” the fashionista remarked with a tart look. “But let’s be honest. Nearly every mare in Ponyville wouldn’t mind a bite of that Apple.  I’m just saying it.” “Meh,” Rainbow said as she worked through the last strings of pasta on her plate. “He’s alright, but I’ve seen better.” “Name one,” Rarity challenged.  Luna slipped a hoof under the makeshift table to Applejack’s haunch and goosed the farmer.  The farmer glared at Luna, to which Rarity raised an eyebrow. “Caramel,” Rainbow absently said. “Don’t get me wrong, Mac is alright.  But those eyes on Caramel? Does it for me every time.”   “This is where I go,” Spike muttered as he excused himself from the table. He took his mug of cider with him into the kitchen. “What about Time Turner?” Pinkie said after a large gulp of cider.  She hiccuped once before continuing.  To the surprise of nopony, streamers accompanied it. “That mane make me feel so warm and fuzzy.  Or maybe it’s the cider? Hey Applejack, where’d you this cider from.  It’s goooooood.” “Time Turner?” Luna asked. “Is he the one that says ‘allons-y!’ for no reason?” “Yup,” Pinkie answered. “That mane and attitude? It makes me go ‘WEEEEEE!’ “Pinkie,” Applejack interjected. “A cupcake makes you ‘weee’.” “And? Oooo, I almost forgot.  Time for dessert!” The party pony blurted before she disappeared in a pink blur. “Allons-y,” Celestia finally said after a while of secretly studying her student. “That’s Prench, isn’t it?” “I believe so,” Luna answered. “I believe if stallions are your thing, you can’t go wrong with a...Continental flavor.” “Mmm.  Quite right dear,” Rarity said. She reclined as her wine glass was suspended by her magic. “Perhaps I should look into him.  A cultured stallion? He sounds delightful. What do you think Twilight?” “Huh, what?” Twilight spoke after a long while. The plate of food in front of her was barely touched, though the wine was nearly emptied. “Welcome back darling,” Rarity remarked to the distracted librarian. “Thanks!” Pinkie answered as she pronked her way back from the kitchen with a slice of pie. Twilight forced a chuckle when she realized she was on the spot.  She cleared her throat, “I’m sorry Rarity.  What did you say?” “What do you think of Time Turner?” Rarity asked again.  Celestia studied her student as Pinkie reseated herself.  Fluttershy finally rejoined the conversation as she looked to the unicorn as well. “Oh...um...he’s alright I guess,” Twilight answered. “Though he’s not really my type.” Luna glanced to Celestia, who stealthily kept an eye on Twilight, looking for clues.  Applejack emptied her mug of cider; a sentiment Dash decided to joined in. “Pray tell, my faithful student,” Celestia asked. Her face was a mask with its trademark smile. “What sort of pony ‘does it’ for you?” “Heh heh,” Twilight muttered as she ran a hoof through her mane. “Well, I guess they’d have to be intelligent and sure of themselves.  They would have to be kind and considerate of others.  They’d have to be courageous and always there for me.” “Dear, you’re quoting a list of ‘turn ons’ from the centerfold of Playmare,” Rarity remarked. “Really, what stallion does it for you?” Applejack leaned back in her chair, trying to keep a neutral perspective in the conversation.  The rest of the cadre turned an interested eye towards the unicorn, Celestia’s the most interested of all. “Well...no stallions in Ponyville,” Twilight said in an attempted dodge. The Solar Regent raised an eyebrow that Luna did not miss.   “‘No stallions in Ponyville?’” Rainbow mimicked. “Egghead?” “What?” the flustered unicorn rebutted. “You like mares?” the always blunt Rainbow asked innocently. Twilight had begun to feel very small and exposed.  Alarms rang in the farmer’s head. Seeing the logical course of the conversation would get to “who” and knowing Twilight’s position, Applejack jumped in to deflect the conversation. She wanted the librarian to come clean, but not that way. “Do ya like mares?” Applejack shouted at the pegasus, a false anger in her voice. “That supposed to mean somethin’?” “What? No, I was just asking a question,” the stunned Rainbow shot back. “I mean, everypony here knows you’re with Luna. So why are you so defensive? “Nothin’,” Applejack grumbled.  She paused for a second to enhance the act. “Ah’m...Ah’m just tired.” “Uh huh,” the pegasus said as she looked to Applejack.  In the bluster, the pegasus, and the rest of the group, either forgot the question or decided against pressing further.  Rarity watched it all with some fascination. Twilight blew a silent sigh of relief.  Celestia sipped on her wine as her smile shifted from its usual placidity to something a bit smaller.  Luna recognized the nuances in that look: Disappointment. Apparently, the Solar Regent’s answers had to wait for later. The dinner party continued on for awhile.  Applejack drew a few looks from the rest of the group as time wore on. Luna suspected Applejack’s bluster was not genuine.  That said, the cider and pie brightened the mood a bit sometime after the outburst.  Luna would get her own answers later. The party broke a while later with the usual goodbyes and hugs.  As the group departed for the evening, Luna donned her disguise and left with Applejack for Sweet Apple Acres. As Spike chose to read a few comic books upstairs, the teacher and student were left to their own devices. Twilight had a chance to be out of the spotlight.  Celestia maintained the illusionary fireplace as she figured it would put her student more comforting. She even conjured a long lounge rug, similar to what she had in her private abode in Canterlot Castle.  The two nursed some cider purposely left over.  Twilight laid on her back next to her mentor.  As always, that proximity put the flustered unicorn at ease.  For Celestia, the reverse was certainly true enough.   “So tell me, Twilight,” Celestia asked. “What did you think of tonight?” “Honestly?” Twilight replied as she rolled her head toward the alicorn. “It was a disaster.” “Do you really think so?” Celestia asked, her usual smile returned some time ago. “Of course!” Twilight said as she rolled onto her stomach, her forehooves splayed out across the rug. “Between Applejack’s outburst and Rainbow asking me if I liked mares, I think it could have gone better.” “Perhaps,” Celestia said as she sipped her mug of cider. “Consider Rarity’s words. Were you just reading from some ‘Playmare of the Month’ article?” Twilight groaned before answering, “No, I wasn’t.” “Indeed,” Celestia mused as she put a wing over her rattled student. “Then you have quite the generic checklist.” “Generic checklist?” Twilight spouted as she looked up from under the folds of the ivory wing. “Isn’t that what every mare wants?” “I’m sure they do,” Celestia remarked. “But if that’s the case, why don’t you put a want ad in the paper?” “What makes you think I want somepony right now anyway?” Twilight answered, feeling quite safe within her feathered bastion; her core warmed by the feathered touch. “Love just complicates things.” “Perhaps it might,” Celestia smiled as she spoke. “But some things are worth risking the comfort of routine over, are they not?” “Maybe. What about you?” the unicorn asked as she fished for details. “When was the last time you loved somepony like that?” Celestia answered after a moment, “It has been a long time. Centuries in fact.” “What was his name?” “Her name,” Celestia corrected as she nursed her cider again. She wanted Twilight to take her words in.  If she could trust nopony else, she could confide in her student.  In her mind, a plan had begun to form. “Her name?” Twilight remarked.  Somehow, she grew even more attentive. “Does that bother you, Twilight?” “No!” the unicorn blurted before she corrected herself. “I mean, of course not.” After she got the response she wanted, Celestia gave a throaty chuckle before she continued, “Her name was Amber Rain.  She was some lowly secretary for the Ministry of Defense around the time Canterlot was founded. But she could absolutely level the world with her eyes. She came along at one of the more...morbid times in my life and eased me through it.”   “We arranged to meet in the middle of the night away from prying eyes of the Royal Court,” Celestia lamented. ”Amber would listen intently about whatever happened across my mind at the moment and she would rant and rave about her boss. But whenever she happened to come along, nothing else mattered.  Even if it didn’t last forever, I would not trade that time for any treasure.” “What happened?” Twilight asked. “Equestria was not as...accepting of such things as it is now. Her family pressured her to marry.  She eventually did with an officer within the Royal Guard and had a foal of her own.  We remained friends, but it was difficult, to say the least.  When she passed, the secret was even more difficult to keep.  But those are experiences I shall always cherish.” “Why did you let her go?” the unicorn asked, “You had the power to change all that, didn’t you?” “I am just a spoke on the wheel,” the alicorn continued. “And the wheel keeps turning. To change the direction of a society, that society has to want to change first.  But that’s another discussion, my faithful student.  What’s important is that you must seize that time when it comes and not run from it.” The unicorn sipped what was left of her cider, which had made them both a little heady.  Celestia sifted through her memories. As another, more recent memory, came to light, the Solar Regent adjusted her course.  She shifted her look to something a bit more gentle and her voice that much softer. “Twilight, I would not deign to lecture you on matters of philosophy or the heart, but I will tell you this: A pony’s life is not meant to be solitary,” the alicorn spoke softly to her student. “We are not accorded a choice of who we love.  Simply put, you can either celebrate it while it fizzes or let it go flat because you didn’t drink it when there was time.  It is your choice, my faithful student. Mare or stallion is just a personal preference.” “Fizzes? Flat?” Twilight said through her first smirk that night. “Love is like soda?” “You could say that, yes,” Celestia grinned back as she continued. She adjusted her wing for effect. “But the point remains. You may not believe it, but you are the light of your generation, Twilight.  Your modesty does you credit, but it’s no bluff when I say that I have been honored to call you my faithful student and, more so, my dearest friend.  When the time comes, whomever you hold that affection for should call themselves the happiest pony in all the world.” Twilight didn’t dare hide her smile as her heart pounded at every word. Celestia kept her gentle gaze as the unicorn’s eyes twinkled in the conjured firelight.  As the moonlight streamed through the windows while the unicorn’s courage grew. Her heart and mind agreed it was now or never. It had become the latter when Spike clambered down the stairs just in time to interrupt them.  Twilight and Celestia simultaneously glared at the baby dragon as he yawned. “Hey guys,” Spike said as much as yawned as he moved towards the kitchen. “I just wanted some more pasta. What time is it anyway?” “Half-past midnight,” Celestia said, glancing to the timepiece on the wall. Twilight groaned as she silently promised Spike would see a never ending list of books that needed dusting.  The unicorn got up from under the folds of the wing and muttered to herself; her courage shattered against the rocks of sundered moments. ~(o)~ Luna and Applejack meandered slowly towards Sweet Apple Acres.  As the moon moved along its eternal course, Luna continued to sport her pink sunglasses as part of her magical disguise, much to the farmer’s consternation. “Ah still think you look like Lady BaaBaa,” Applejack remarked. “Does it bother you that I value these as much as you do your hat?” “The only thing that bothers me is that rabbit in your head thinkin’ it’s a good idea.” “Even rodents need flair,” Luna said as she smiled. “Just keep tellin’ yourself that,” Applejack said while she subconsciously adjusted her Stetson. “Speaking of telling, what was with the outburst earlier tonight.” “Ah can’t say,” Applejack said as she shook her head. “Oh ho,” Luna said through a smirk. “Somepony has a secret!” “Eeyup.” ‘’And I assume you won’t be forthcoming with it?” “Nope,” Applejack deadpanned. “Is it us? Do you regret our relationship, fair Applejack?” Luna asked with a dramatic hoof above her eye. “Are ya that stupid?” Applejack said as she refused to bite. “I supposed I could save myself time and just accept that, even under the threat of torture and various other pleasant pursuits, you won’t be forthcoming?” “Eeyup.” “And that’s why I love you,” Luna said. “Mah steadfast courage?” “Your patent statements of the obvious,” Luna remarked dryly as the moon glinted off her eye. “Every insult duly noted, sugarcube,” Applejack said with a smile. “Regardless, I do have pressing business and, fair Applejack, I need your help.” “What’s up?” Applejack asked, though she never equated Luna with serious. “To be succinct, my sister is in love with somepony you know well.” “Let me guess,” the farmer snarked, “Me?” “Well yes,” Luna spoke in nonchalance. “My sister and I do have a habit of swapping lovers when the mood suits us. Typically we imprison them in bowels of the castle and chain them against the wall, where we ravish them at our leisure. At least that’s how it works if you read 50 Shades of Neigh anyway.” “Kinky,” Applejack said as she decided to steer the conversation back on course lest they lose hours to distraction. “Who is it?” “Twilight Sparkle,” Luna practically squealed. The farmer waged an instant and titanic battle to keep any laughter from bursting forth.  It never ceased to amaze the farmer how life, in its jocularity, twisted her awkward position that much more. “Twilight?” The farmer remarked after a moment, “Huh.” “What do you think?” “Aside from ‘do rabbits run in your family?’ Ah guess it’s fittin’.” “Just fitting? But my fair Applejack, what is more worthy of a storied romance than that?  A lonely Princess locked away in her storybook tower longing for emotional deliverance!” Luna narrated in grandiose tones.  She moved in front of the farmer and into a backwards walk. “The sheltered student, learning her final lessons in a faraway land, growing stronger with each passing day and more distant from the one she is meant to save!  Surely you can see the romance in that!” “Ah can see you’ve been reading those clop books again.” “You are the one who sent them,” Luna retorted before she came to a stop. “But I am serious.  I must know if Twilight would be...receptive to the idea.” Applejack took a moment to parse her words. “Ah think she would listen, but Ah can’t say more than that.” Luna caught he farmer’s undertones enough that she smiled. “One thing sugarcube.” Applejack interjected. “Before ya start usin’ the stars to draw those two kissin’.” “Yes?” Luna said as she blinked. “In those stories, what’s the best plot device?” “A pair of mares on a sandy beach with a fifth of vodka and a mutual lifelong crush?” the Lunar Regent innocently asked. “Realization,” the farmer corrected. “Ya know, epiphany and the like.” “What are you getting at?” “Celestia probably wants to do it her way, right?” Applejack guessed.  After Luna nodded, she continued. “Give her time to do it on her own. Eventually, Ah’m sure Twi will come around and might even realize she loved Celestia since who knows when.  Or somethin’ like that.” “And say if Celestia does not come clean?” “Ya’ve got a sky full of stars and a mind full of dirty limericks.  Ah’m sure ya’ll figure out somethin’.” Luna dropped her head down and gave a soft chuckle.  Mission accomplished.  Applejack’s eyes sparkled as moved toward the Lunar Regent.  Applejack put her hoof on the alicorn’s chin and raised it until their eyes were level.  Luna, though she was nearly as powerful as her sister, could not break away from the farmer’s emerald gaze. “Just one thing.” “Name it,” Luna whispered. “Can ya wait till mornin’ before ya start doodlin’?” Luna gave a nod, after which Applejack closed the remaining distance between them. As the farmer’s lips pressed gently, Luna dismissed her disguise.  In her full glory, the Lunar Regent’s wingspan surrounded the two as the moon kept its silent, eternal vigil.  ~(o)~ “What the hay was Applejack’s problem?” Rainbow fumed as she escorted Rarity on their way home.  The pegasus hovered slightly above the ground as Rarity strutted with all the swagger and pomp befitting a lady. Though the moon was full, the unicorn tried to work an air of mystery in her saunter.  Practice made perfect. “I can’t really say, Rainbow,” the fashionista remarked. “But there was something that obviously set her off.  You know she’s not normally like that.” “Except around you,” the pegasus pointed out, referencing some of the legendary rows between the farmer and the fashionista. “Well that much is obvious,” the unicorn said. “And why was Twilight so quiet tonight?” the unusually astute pegasus asked. “Again, I cannot say,”  Rarity said. In truth, she was thinking along the same lines. As they approached the Carousel Boutique, the two bid farewell before Rarity moved inside.  Sweetie Belle was with their parents, so the fashionista wasn’t worried about making a ruckus.  That said, she didn’t want to clean up any spills before opening her shop so she moved gingerly about the main floor shop.  She made the stairs in short order. Rarity’s horn blazed with its characteristic blue aura as she worked her way up the stairs. It wasn’t long before she managed her way to her large bedroom.  The events of the evening played through her mind as worked herself free of the latest demonstration of her talent and into her silk pajamas. Even as she worked the final buttons closed, a single thought dominated her mind: Why did Applejack blow up? The farmer’s arguments with the fashionista were the stuff of local gossip, but that was just the nature of their relationship.  They were still longtime friends, even if they didn’t see eye to eye.  Otherwise the farmer was  as not overly vocal with anypony else.  Even snapping at Rainbow outside of their occasional athletic jousts wasn’t like her.  Rarity also didn’t miss the glare that Applejack gave to Luna during dinner.  None of it sat right with the fashionista. Rarity slipped into her plush bed and donned her eye mask.  As an astute study of pony behavior in social situations and possessed of a hyperactive sense of the romantically possible, the unicorn’s mind refused to settle.  Why did the farmer act out of sorts? And why was Twilight overly quiet for that matter? The unicorn rolled to her side.  Normally the librarian glossed at length about magic or something she learned that was over everypony’s head.  Rarity honestly had not expected to get a word in edgewise with Celestia in town. The Solar Regent was usually in on her student’s most intimate secrets.  Did she know something was amiss?  The occasional glances from the farmer to the librarian wasn’t beyond her as well.  Were they looks of concern? Perhaps apologetic?  Did they maybe have a fight about something that drove Twilight crazy?  Was Applejack terse because Rainbow hit on something that was meant to be secret?  Was Twilight hiding something that pertained to the farmer? Then it hit her when the last thought clicked into place.  She was in need of more information to confirm her suspicions, but it all made perfect sense. “Oh Applejack, you sly wolf,” Rarity muttered before falling asleep.