//------------------------------// // Strepitosu // Story: Ace of Hearts // by blowngasket //------------------------------// Chapter 10: Strepitosu "Perry...coffee..." "I am kind of busy at the moment Cata..." "Perry...coffee..." "Get your lazy rear off the couch and come and get it." "Perry...coffee...ARGH!!!" Catacomb quickly shot up as hot coffee was poured onto his lap. Flailing around and jumping off the couch, he quickly looked around, spying the floating cup where he was laying. "Oops...I slipped." Perry said casually, still chopping up vegetables for breakfast. Catacomb snatched the floating cup from out of the air and whipped it at Perry. He casually dodged to the side, watching the cup smash into tiny pieces. Catacomb grunted and quickly ran into the bathroom. Perry continued his task, preparing a nice vegetable omelette for the duo. Catacomb ran the shower, on cold, to try and kill the stinging sensation on his lower extremities, as well as remove the coffee and sweat odor he was giving off. His plans for the day already predetermined by a sudden rise in a conscience, and a few quick words from a very evil farm girl. Little did she know that he had his own plans in mind, and she wouldn't know what hit her. The scent of breakfast started to distract Catacomb, though. His stomach growling, he dried himself off, and shifted himself into his usual suit and hat. Checking himself in the mirror, he gave a loud wistle and grinned. "Hey there sexy. Oh, you're talking to me, cause there isn't anyone else. So you think I am sexy, huh?" "No, you're sub par at best. Now will you quit eyeing yourself and come eat...it's making me uncomfortable." Perry responded through the bathroom door. "You just wish you could be me, Perry." Catacomb said as he opened the door. "It is ok to be jealous. I would totally understand." Perry snickered loudly at the comment, turning his back to walk towards the kitchen. "Catacomb, the only thing I am jealous about when it comes to you is your stupidity. It must be pleasant to be so blissfully ignorant." "Is that your way of saying yes?" Catacomb said with a goofy smile. "Admit it, ya know ya love me." "You're a parasite I do not have the funds to remove, so I continue to make an effort to live symbiotically with it. Nothing more." Perry said coldly. "Love ya too." Catacomb said, continuing to follow Perry until they reached their seats. Catacomb stared at the omelette and looked up. "Still not doing the whole meat thing, huh?" "Yes. Sorry if that bothers you." Perry responded, cutting up his omelette into smaller bite size pieces. "Nah, to each his own. Wouldn't mind some bacon though." Catacomb said before taking a large bite out of his omelette. After quickly chewing, he swallowed and smiled. "Still good though. New recipe?" "Same one you taught me. It is a wonder how you can make such masterpieces in the kitchen, though." Perry said before sliding a bite of omelette up his mask. "Please, you should see Chef Roasted's dishes. They easily put mine to shame." "Flame still works there? Thought he would retire by now. I guess it is hard to give up on what you love." Perry said, thinking back to his good old days. "Yeah, he is still 'Burning with the passion of the skillet.' as he would say." Catacomb said, mimicking said chefs fancy accent and voice. "So, Cata, what are your plans for today?" Perry asked as he finished the last piece of his omelette. "Well, I promised AJ that I would give her a hand, sorta. In truth, she totally conned me, but we shall run with my version of the story. Say, you busy today?" "Yes, actually. Today is the day they release Fluttershy from the hospital!" Perry said happily. Catacomb grinned, as he could tell this man was totally head over heels for this woman. "That's great to hear. So you're going to give her special care then I take it?" Catacomb said with a sly smile, nudging Perry with his elbows. "Of course that is what you would think." Perry said, slightly disgusted with his friends attitude. "No, just helping her back to her house and getting her set up. I am actually more thrilled to be out of the service to that stupid rabbit!" Perry said, almost too enthusiastically. Catacomb stared at him for several seconds before deciding to ask. "You were in the service of a bunny?" Catacomb said straight faced. "Unfortunately. Fluttershy asked me to watch her house after I got out of the hospital. Some time before, in a bizarre incident that ended up with her kitchen riddled with vegetables, I offered a favor to her rabbit to clean it up in return. Ever sense, every time I go over there, I feel as if I am that rabbits personal slave." Perry finished. Catacomb got up and went to rinse out the dishes, and scrubbed them dry. Perry was baffled by Catacomb's lack of words. "Why did you suddenly go quiet?" Perry asked. Catacomb turned around and gave Perry a blank look. "On one hand, you're a rabbit's bitch. On the other, you're out of your mind. Either way, I got nothing left to contribute to this conversation that needs to be said. You have left me speechless, and for that, I will now take my leave." Catacomb walked towards the door and walked out. "Later crazy bunny man." ---------- ---------- ---------- Twilight's usual morning routine had to be abandoned today, as she had to take care of a sore, bedridden Spike. He wasn't the kind to take advantage of it, but the thought of being waited on hand and foot by Twilight for once couldn't be passed up easily. "Can you get me more juice please?" Spike asked Twilight, who could only smile and respond with a quick nod. She went into the kitchen and poured another glass of apple juice, sighing the entire time. She didn't mind doing this, but it felt like he was milking his injury for more than what it was worth. She sat the cup down next to Spike, and was about to go back to organizing the books on the shelf alphabetically, and by type and genre. She picked up the first book and smiled happily that she was about to begin her day's work, when knocking at the door quickly killed the happiness. She quickly made her way to the door and pulled it open quickly. "WHAT?" she yelled before even looking. She stared at her victim, a very sad looking Catacomb. "I...I am sorry. Just wanted to say hi. I will go now..." he said turning around to walk away. Twilight's face was a bright shade of embarrassment and guilt. "I am so sorry, Cata. Come in, please!" Twilight said quickly. Catacomb's back turned, she couldn't have possibly seen the coy smile on his face. He turned around, looking slightly less sad. "A..Are you sure I am not bothering you?" Catacomb asked slowly. "Of course! You're always welcome at my house. I am sure Spike would like to see you as well." Twilight said, trying to hide her expression of guilt behind a smile. "Sure, but I actually came to ask you a favor... but if you're too busy..." "Anything for you, Cata!" Twilight quickly said, blushing slightly at her outburst. "Really?! You're the best Twilight! Meet me at Applejack's house around noon! I will see ya there! Later!" Catacomb quickly took off, going to the next location for his master plan to take in effect. Twilight was an easy warm up. His next target would take a bit more skill, but Catacomb was sure he could handle it. All it would take is his usual charm and manners. . ---------- ---------- ---------- "So, you will help me out?" Catacomb said, smiling at Rarity as she did the finishing touched on one of her newer dresses. Catacomb was seated in a chair across the room, watching her work quickly and skillfully. She had agreed to listen to his request for some assistance without a second though. "Of course!" Rarity said, smiling as she took of her working glasses. "You saved mine and Spike's life. It is the least that I can do." Catacomb watched as Rarity made her way upstairs. "I promise I will be there around noon. This will give me the perfect chance to wear my new work clothes. Even in hard labor, a lady must look her best." Catacomb didn't think it would be that easy. He figured that it would take some fast talking and many compliments to get Rarity to do anything that involved farming. He figured he would seal the deal, in his usual way. "Can't say you gotta try hard. You got it going on." Catacomb grinned and winked, causing Rarity to blush and smile back. "You sure know how to impress. Don't stop though, flattery will get you everywhere." she said, laughing lightly. "Well, I have a few more favors to request, so I will see ya later, doll!" Catacomb said as he walked out the door. Rarity waved to him until he was out, and then made her way upstairs. She was looking for a good excuse to test out her fashionable work clothes, and today's random request has given her the rhyme and reason to do so. She could tell that Catacomb had a natural way with words, knowing the strength of their usage from her experiences in Canterlot. He was good, and he knew it. Catacomb walked out, taking some time to savor his second victory. He was unsure about what would happen with the next one. The target was completely unpredictable, so at this point it was anything goes... ---------- ---------- ---------- "Rainbow?" Catacomb said softly, poking the sleeping girl as she laid napping on a soft and fluffy looking cloud, dressed in her usual athletic workout outfit. She was smiling, drooling slightly as she just rolled over, ignoring the outside annoyance. "Rainbow?" Catacomb said, louder than before. Still nothing but grumbles and snores. Catacomb stood there for several more seconds before grinning evilly. He took out one of his Rune Guns and loaded a pink glowing shell into it. They were cheap and for the most part useless, but the application would serve well here. He aimed into the sky and pulled the trigger. The runes on the gun glowed, firing the shell upward. As it made its accent, it screamed loudly before bursting in a bright floral explosion. The end result was Rainbow flailing awake and ducking into the cloud in a fit of fright. Catacomb could help but burst into laughter, causing the frightened Rainbow Dash to go from scared to pissed. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?" She yelled. Catacomb simply put his gun away and smiled. "It was to get your attention, obviously. It worked." "No shit..." Rainbow cursed, mourning her lost nap time. "Well you're up here for a reason, spit it out. I haven't got all day." "Why, what exactly do you have planned today?" Catacomb asked, hoping she wasn't actually busy. "Well I have been trying to perfect this new maneuver. If I can pull it off, I'll make history for sure." Rainbow said proudly. "Well I have a better idea, then." Catacomb said. She raised and eyebrow as if saying go on. "Ok, you're going to drop all of your plans and help me and everyone else keep Applejack company while doing farm work!" He tried his best to make it sound fun and exciting, but Rainbow Dash was not stupid. "No thanks." she responded, causing Catacomb to sigh slightly. "Didn't think it would be as easy as Pinkie." Catacomb laughed. "Weirdest thing too. Didn't even finish telling her what I was doing, and she said she would meet me at the farm. Gotta say that blindsided me. Back on topic, though...please?" "Listen, it's not like I don't want to, it is just..." Dash scratched her head in frustration. Catacomb chuckled. "I am going to take a guess and say you want to be a good friend, but you really want to get that trick down." Dash nodded, smiling at Catacomb's understanding of the situation. "Well, I got an idea." Catacomb grinned. Rainbow listened intently, slightly curious as to what the solution could be. "A race..." Catacomb's grin grew wider as Rainbow grinned as well. "Wait...you're challenging me...to a race." Rainbow asked in a cocky manner. Catacomb knew there was no way she wouldn't take the bait at this point. "Yup, simple solution. You win, and I give my entire day up to helping you out instead. But if I win, you gotta help me out. Fair trade I would say." Catacomb said. "I would prefer to be on foot, so how about a simple straight dash, entrance of Ponyville to the entrance of Sweet Apple Acres?" "I hope you know you signed away your day, pal." Rainbow said triumphantly. Catacomb simply nodded and jumped off the cloud, Rainbow following afterwards. Both of them flew to the supposed starting line for their little race. Catacomb stretched out, folding his wings back into his back. Rainbow watched curiously, looking at the slowly disappearing wings. "You're really going to challenge me on foot?" Rainbow asked, more concerned than anything else. "I don't see why that's a problem." Catacomb responded, stretching out. Rainbow watched and shrugged. "Suit yourself. Don't go saying it was unfair." Rainbow responded, getting into position. Catacomb nodded, and unlike his last race, got into a runners start. Catacomb wasn't racing just anyone, so actual effort had to be put into this. He looked over towards his competition, nodding that he was ready. Rainbow nodded as well. "Ready..." "Set..." "GO!" Both were off, Rainbow flying as fast as she could. She stayed low to the ground for sake of fairness. She was shocked to see, from her side view, Catacomb not only keeping up, but neck in neck with her. His look was solid, and he looked towards the front, keen on winning this. She flapped her wings harder, but he only grew faster to make up for the change of speed. Between the two speed demons, the miles of distance they had to travel needed only simple minutes. Rainbow watched Catacomb, intent on winning. Here he was, trying to get help for her friend, and she just wanted to make herself look awesome. She let out quiet sigh, and at the very end, let up just slightly. Catacomb crossed the gateway to Sweet Apple Acres, and skidded to a stop. He got up, panting slightly and stared at Rainbow, grinning. "Don't think I didn't see that..." Catacomb said coyly, still leaning over to catch his breath. Rainbow looked at Catacomb and shrugged. "Something distracted me, that's all...You got lucky." Rainbow said, walking ahead to get to the meeting place. Catacomb chuckled, nodding and following afterwards. "Don't worry Rainbow, your secret is safe with me." Catacomb said to her as they made their way. ---------- ---------- ---------- Applejack stared. She expected to see just Catacomb walking down the road, but instead, she watched Twilight, Rarity, and Pinkie. They all waved and smiled to their friend. "Hey ya'll!" Applejack yelled out, waving back. "Heya, Applejack! Cata said you needed some help today, so he went and asked for me to join you!" Pinkie said loudly, practically bouncing towards Applejack. "I was like, Of course and he was all 'you're the best,' and I was all YAY!" Pinkie said quickly. Rarity and Twilight made there way, Applejack snickering at the sight of Rarity. "Rare, I hope ya don't mind me askin', but what the heck is with your outfit?" Applejack asked, causing the woman in question to glare. "These...are my work clothes." Rarity responded, not nearly as amused as Applejack. Her outfit consisted of diamond embroidered jean overalls and a black and white checkered shirt. She had on a pair of work boots, the design matching the shirt. "They are...uhh...nice?" Applejack said, trying not to laugh anymore. She failed miserably. Rarity simply walked away, not wanting to start a conflict. Twilight then approached Applejack, who was still chuckling from Rarity. "So, Cata sucker ya into helping as well?" Applejack asked, finally killing off the remainder of the laughter. "Suckered? No, he asked and I said yes. Simple as that. Speaking of Cata, is he here yet?" Twilight looked around, trying to find the man in question. "Nah, can't say I have seen him." Applejack said, now shifting her gaze and looking around. "I hope he didn't skip out on us all..." "Don't be silly, he's over there with Dashie!" Pinkie said, practically jumping on Applejacks head to turn it in the direction she was looking. Both Twilight and her could see Rainbow Dash and Catacomb walking towards them, Rainbow waving enthusiastically. She looked like she whispered something to Catacomb before running towards them. "Hey everyone!" Dash said as she arrived at the group. "Nice day to do some work, right?" "Even you as well? Cata, I am impressed." Applejack said, flashing a grin. Catacomb casually strolled towards them, grinning as well. "What? I figured work would be more fun with friends, and besides we can have a party while we are at it." Catacomb said, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. Pinkie literally jumped at the idea. "Oh my gosh definitely! We can have strobe lights and..." "Actually, I figure something small would be better..." Catacomb cut Pinkie off, causing her to pout slightly. "...a bonfire maybe, if that's fine with you AJ." "Don't see why not." Applejack responded. Pinkie, though her idea shot down, cheered happily. Catacomb chuckled as he watched her. Nudging Twilight, he grinned and looked over at Pinkie. "How do you guys keep up with her?" he asked. Twilight simply smiled. "You just do. As they say, Pinkie is Pinkie." Catacomb laughed lightly. "Sounds about right." Catacomb said, nodding. He looked over everyone there. He loved it when a plan came together. Rainbow went and joined Rarity, more or less to question her choice of clothing. Pinkie went over to talk to Rainbow, and Twilight was also happy looking towards the entire group. This overall, made the day much better than it could have been, at least to Catacomb. "So AJ, what do ya think? If two's a party, what does that make six?" he asked. "Nine, actually." A voice spoke, coming from the path they all took. Everyone turned to look where the sound came from, cheering slightly when they saw who it was. Perry and Spike walked along the path, with Perry pushing a wheelchair.